51
Changing Forms
Amanda
I don’t sleep well that night for several reasons.
The first is how tense I am after seeing the photo.
The second is Ace .
He falls asleep easily, but when he wakes up, his hands are all over me. Sometimes just feeling me as if reassuring himself I’m there. Other times, he plays with my breasts or core, teasing me until I’m ready to jump him. He never follows through, claiming I need to wait for a surprise he has for me.
I’m ready to strangle him by morning.
When we get up, the metal blinds are still active, and I’m glaring at him. His erection is like a taunt all by itself, but he acts as if he isn’t hard.
This man is a murder mystery episode waiting to happen.
I shower alone in tepid water to try and snap myself out of it. I’m a little afraid that if I start trying to relieve the pressure myself that he’s going to lose his shit. He’d deserve it. On the other hand, I want to know what I’m waiting for.
It doesn’t help that he’s following me everywhere, safely tucked in his jeans again. He watches me shower, dress, and snarl at him with a soft smile of affection that doesn’t soothe me at all.
I’m opening the door to escape him when his palm hits the wood and pushes it shut. He’s pressed against my back with his hands under my shirt in seconds. His hands move over the mounds of my breasts and tweak my nipples. I’m so ready I fall back into him with a moan. If he would just relent for a second I’d be in a lot better mood.
As fast as he touches me, he’s gone, leaving me with clenched fists and heavy breaths.
“Give me Jakob,” I grit out and hold up a hand.
“Fuck no,” he chuckles as if that’s the best joke he’s ever heard.
I snatch the door open and start marching out.
“Wait,” Ace lurches after me to wrap an arm around my waist and keep me still.
I open my mouth to berate him at full volume, but he settles his lips near my ear and whispers, “You’re surprise is in the basement, darlin’. Don’t bother bein’ gentle with it.”
He swats my butt as he passes me to bound up the stairs. I watch him, completely baffled. After a second, I start scowling again. He just smacked my ass. I mean, I don’t mind but it’s the principle of it. I should have ripped his head off. It’s too late now.
The only noise is coming from the kitchen. We’re early enough that no one else seems to be awake.
My eyes slide from the kitchen doorway where women are chattering to the stairs leading to the basement.
The only thing down there is the gym.
I swear, if it’s a treadmill, I’m going to line him, Jake, and Cade up to get smacked by Jakob in one strike.
I need to know how bad the beating I give Ace later is going to be, so I take my time going down the stairs. The closer I get to the door, the louder the heavy music coming from inside gets. At least he picked the right music for me.
I open the door and walk inside, letting it swing shut behind me.
And stare. I can’t move as my jaw drops.
Mikael is hanging from a bar built into the wall, his hands shoulder-width apart as he slowly pulls himself up, waits for a beat, and slowly lowers himself. He isn’t wearing a shirt, so I get an eye full of his bare skin. His legs are bent at the knee with his ankles crossed so his feet never touch the floor. I don’t know how long he’s been doing this, but he’s glistening with sweat in the light.
I wasn’t ready for this. I can’t form words.
Watching his muscles strain as he lifts again is like a work of art.
The song ends, but he keeps going. How many reps will he do before he stops? I should pull up a chair and count for him.
“I know you’re there, Ace. You’re late. Hit the bags.”
His rumbling tone is another hit below the belt, but I can’t take my eyes off him. Another metal song starts up before I can gather my wits enough to tell him it’s me, not Ace.
The beat of this song is faster, and the words a foreign language. He sings along as he speeds up. He acts like this isn’t an effort despite the sweat.
I’ve seen how big he is in his suits. Without them is another eye-opening experience. I thought he was dangerous before, but this is the real danger. He’s so comfortable with his size that it boggles my mind. The lines of his suits hide so much more than I could imagine. The way his biceps and forearms bulge. The heavy dip in his back and all the muscles around it flexing. It’s drool-worthy art within touching distance.
“Come on, Ace,” he drops to his feet with a huff of breath. From behind he looks like an enraged beast even though his voice is mild with annoyance.
I have my jaw picked up off the floor before he turns, but I can’t help the stunned look I can feel plastered on my face.
The front isn’t any better. I could use the man as a mattress if I wanted to. A hard mattress, but it would be worth it. His pecs could be my pillows. I’d be ok with that. As I stare, a drop of sweat runs down his abs and stops at the elastic of his shorts.
It’s hotter in here than it was in the jacuzzi.
His dark blue eyes widen a little as he looks behind me as if he’s trying to find someone. I can’t take my eyes off his pecs. Holy hell. When he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, his eyes return to me.
Neither of us says a word.
Ace’s words roll through my mind on a loop.
“You’re surprise is in the basement, darlin’. Don’t bother bein’ gentle with it.”
“Did Ace send you down?”
I blink as his low voice brings me back to reality and somehow sinks me further into a daze at the same time. I end up nodding, my eyes following a trickle of sweat over his abs. How long has he been working out already?
His eyes narrow on me.
My eyelids droop as his cock begins to tent his shorts. It’s subtle at first. The longer I stare, the harder it gets.
“Amanda.”
I can’t tear my gaze off it. He’s proportionate. I don’t know if I can handle that, but I’m so worked up that I’m ready to try. Ace knew exactly what he was doing, and now Mikael gets to pay the price. I’d feel bad about it but I honestly can’t wait for this.
I close the distance between us slowly. For every step, his breaths get faster. I reach out and trace the trail the droplet took with a finger. His skin is burning with heat. The muscles contract at the touch, and a shuddering breath blows over the top of my head.
“ Rakas ,” he says in a tone even lower than before. It’s slow and dark, just the way he sounded outside the bathroom door, asking if he could soak with me.
I bring both my palms flat to his skin and feel how strong he is. I feel tiny in comparison to him. I’ve never felt that before. My hands run over his chest to his abs and over his sides. There’s a deep V trailing to his shorts. My palms slide down to it. I can hear him swallow, breathing through his nose quickly.
He doesn’t stop me at all. His stance widens a little as if he’s going to stand here all day and let me touch him however I want.
My fingers touch the waistband of his shorts when he moves. A single finger tucks under my chin to tilt my face back.
His jaw is clenched with strain, but his eyes are searching mine.
“Are you sure?”
I blink and nod, unable to utter a word through my dry mouth. His eyes are gentle as his hand moves to the back of my neck. He squeezes a little, and I’m suddenly thrown back in time to my first day when he held me back.
Chills roll down my arms as my nipples bead. My lashes flutter as my eyes try to close. I fight to keep them open.
His nostrils flare when he sees the reaction, his lips turning up in a dark smile.
“Was it like this before?” He asks me tauntingly, following my thoughts as if he read my mind.
I nod, quicker this time, my neck feeling weak.
“If I had known, you would have missed your first day,” his musing sounds regretful.
I shudder, trying to imagine it. Where would we have gone? Into the elevator? I try to picture it. There’s no way between our height difference that he could take me against the wall. He’d have to pick me up.
My hands dip into his shorts to fist his erection.
He sucks in a sharp breath, and I look down.
His cock is flushed and throbbing. I can feel it pulse. Both my hands are around him, taking up his length with the head peeking out for my thumb to rub over. I smooth my hands over him reverently, my fear of his size a distant memory.
His other hand pulls his shorts down for me to see him clearly. The one on my neck tightens as if he’s ready for me to run.
I’m not going anywhere, but the sensation makes me shudder.
“ Tunnen sinun katsovan ,” he groans.
I don’t know what he said but the rawness of it makes my hands start moving over him. Working his flesh while he pants. He rains down low, guttural words to me as if he’s praising me. It feels good, from my emotions all the way to my body.
“Stop,” he mutters and my hands freeze like he pressed pause.
He lets out a soft laugh as his hand massages the back of my neck.
“So good for me. Hands off.”
I look up at him with narrowed eyes but my hands slide away, touching him for as long as possible. He shudders, his eyes staring into mine intently.
“Very good,” he gives me a smile and toes off his sneakers. “Strip.”
I blink at the single word, but my hands move on their own. My top is off before I realize it.
Why am I doing everything he says? And why does it feel so good? His approval warms me up. He’s quiet and intense, with a control over himself that I can’t imagine having.
He watches me avidly as I take off my bra, toeing my shoes off, too. Then, my pants. He lets out a soft groan when he sees my panties. When I slide them off next, he lets out a long, shaky exhale.
“ Min? tykk??n sinusta. Very much. I like you very much.” His mumble comes out as he stares at the soft curls over my mound. His eyes snap to me as if he’s waiting for my response.
He said so much more than I like you, and I’m not sure how to answer him.
His hand cradles my cheek, and his thumb moves over my lower lip, dipping inside. My tongue twirls around it. My lips draw the digit further inside.
“Do you like me, rakas ?” His smile tilts wickedly as he watches me.
I nod, jostling his hand. When he removes his thumb I draw hard on it.
“Good. Sit on the bench.”
He points to a black bench with a small seat and a tilted back piece. I try to sit on the edge with my knees closed.
“Further back,” he taunts with a grin.
I can either have my legs dangling in the air or spread them. I scoot back, spreading my knees wide.
He nods, fisting his length to give it two slow pumps as he approaches me. His hand goes to the top of the bench as he leans down to kiss me. My back arches to make sure our lips meet fully.
It isn’t a tongue-thrusting invasion or wild. He’s gentle, dabbing little kisses over my lips until I’m frustrated. My arms rise to wrap around his neck. He seems to know what I want because I can feel his smile against my lips.
I’m supposed to be rough with him, but I can’t seem to find the nerve. He’s so gentle as he reaches for my chin and positions my face just so. But he doesn’t do more than press his lips against mine without allowing me access.
I would bite him if I could. Instead I run my tongue over his lower lip as if I’m asking for permission.
His hand moves down my throat, across my collarbone, and to my heavy breast. He runs a knuckle over my nipple. The rough sensation makes my breath catch. He palms the mound and squeezes. Just like he did to my neck.
My thighs shift as moisture pools. So much of it that I’m afraid I’m going to leave a puddle. He’s barely touched me.
I swallow hard, the sound loud between our panting breaths. My lips are open, shaking, waiting as I gasp.
A rough thumb rolls over my nipple, and I can’t help but whimper.
His other hand drops to plump my breasts up, and his mouth moves away from mine to fasten on a beaded nipple. His tongue flicks across it, his thumb rubbing the other side. The dual sensation has my back arching painfully to give him free access. He may have refused to kiss me fully, but he’s making up for it.
He takes his time moving back and forth between them. Sucking, nibbling, pressing his lips on me for the gentlest of kisses.
I cradle his head to me. His hair isn’t long enough to pull, but he doesn’t seem to mind how hard my fingers dig in.
I’m dazed by how softly he touches me. His hands are large enough to cover my breasts easily. The heat radiating off of him already has me sweating.
I want to demand, beg for more, but I’m silent, staring down at his bent head.
His hands move away, along my sides, and to my hips. I slide down as he repositions me in a sprawl, my ass near the edge and my head at an awkward angle. Forced to look down at myself as he draws away.
He keeps me firmly in place as he gets to his knees. I can see his cock leaking precum, rigid and as desperate as I am. If only Mikael would relent.
Our eyes meet and cling. His head goes lower until I can feel the heat of his breath washing over sensitive folds.
With his hold and my position, I can’t move. He doesn’t take his eyes off me when he runs his tongue along desperate flesh. When he settles in, his eyes on mine as if he can hold me still by will alone, I find my voice.
“Mikael,” I whisper roughly, unable to get anything else out.
He blinks slowly, breaking the connection for a second. His hands move to my thighs. Repositioning my legs to wrap around his neck with an ease that brings his strength into focus. He palms my ass and sits up, taking me with him.
My head slides to the cushioned seat. The only thing supporting me is my shoulders and his hands. His fingers dig into plump flesh. The rough kneading is a contrast to his gentle exploration.
No matter how I try to move, the shifting of my thighs, any sounds he wrings out of my tight throat, he doesn’t stop. I’m building up tension in my core, but he’s too gentle. I need something more. The invasion of his tongue is too slow and taunting to give me relief.
I don’t know how long he torments me. All I know is how good my body feels while my mind riots. I can’t catch my breath. I’m sweating, shaking, crying. It’s too much and too little.
He’s so damn patient it’s killing me.
I’m riding the edge of an orgasm and can’t quite tip over. Just when I think it will come it fades back a little to build up again. Each time is stronger but not enough.
He draws away, and my legs tighten to try and keep him in place.
“Let go,” he tells me softly.
I whimper and force my thighs away from his head.
His hands slowly lower me, my ass brushing down his body until my legs are hooked over his elbows. He grips my hips tightly as if he’s anticipating a struggle.
When I feel the heat of his cock run across my seam, my hands clamp over my thighs. I hardly feel my nails dig in as his blunt head furrows in my folds.
The insistent pressure of his entrance is slow, his hips barely rocking him into me. I whine with frustration, my face screwed up in a helpless snarl.
“Slow first,” he mutters roughly. His eyes drop to watch himself enter me in tiny increments.
My mouth opens wide in surprise at how tight I feel. A slight pinch of pain that eases with his withdrawal and returns as he pushes forward. The mix of relief and burn reminds me of Ace’s play with my ass. Just when I think it’s too much, he withdraws, allowing me to gulp in a breath before he comes back. My body is stuck in a war of do I want this and don’t leave.
A heavier thrust makes my eyes roll back. A sharp sound breaks from my lips, not quite a scream but getting there. The slow withdrawal has the muscles in my thighs shaking.
Another, and I lose control.
I can’t understand what I’m saying. A loud rushing sound is pounding through my ears, muffling everything. My body is writhing, trying to get more of him and away at the same time. I grab the bench above my head and hold on with everything in me. Some kind of stability in the wash of sensation.
In seconds, that feeling of being grounded fades. He thrusts in and out of me at a measured pace that’s just as torturous as his tongue. The only thing I can feel is how hot and tight my skin is. The jostle of my breasts as they move with his churning hips. His fingers digging into my ass hard enough to bruise.
And my pussy. The unbelievable stretch. The way he hits the end of me causes a jolt of sensation I’m not ready for. My focus is stuck there as if my entire body centers on where we meet.
I can feel my inner muscles fluttering over him. My voice gets hoarse. I force my eyes open to take in his strained expression. His teeth are clenched, his control slowly unraveling with every surge into me. His eyes roam over me, taking in everything as his nostrils flare. When his gaze meets mine, everything else falls away as he breaks.
My body shifts lower as he powers into me, keeping his eyes locked on mine. But I can’t keep my eyes open as I wail.
Everything goes silent as I shake, an orgasm finally overtaking me. My throat is straining, my neck arched back. A bite of pain and then sweet pleasure washes over me. It throbs through my pussy and echoes into my breasts. My body feels electrified, everything becoming a shaking mass of ecstasy so strong it scares me.
My eyes are squeezed shut so tightly all I am is sensation. I hear him make a choked noise, and his thrusts stutter for a second. His cock kicks and hits the nerves deep inside, smoothing over them with wet heat.
A different feeling comes over me. An orgasm from inside, stronger than before. Liquid pools and drips out as he moves. I choke at the feeling of release, my body going limp.
I think I pass out because the next thing I know, Mikael is carrying me bridal style. My forehead is pressed against his neck, his chin rubbing over my temple in a soft caress. Every part of me has turned into an aching limp noodle. I can’t open my eyes.
The sound of cascading water echoes as we move closer to damp heat. A jostling movement that he murmurs an apology for before a splash and I’m lowered into hot water. He settles me on his lap as the scent of mint and eucalyptus rouses me.
The massage he starts on my legs is sharp and painful before my muscles settle. He’s careful of the stinging scratches I made in my thighs. They run all the way up my hips. I don’t even remember doing it. The salts in the bath make them sting without mercy.
“No more for today,” Mikael mutters softly.
My eyes open to blearily meet his.
“No shit.”
“I’m sorry, rakas ,” his voice lowers to a rough whisper. “For everything. I can’t stand to see Gabe hurt, and I lost sight of who you are.”
I’m so lethargic I have no choice but to listen to him. My head falls to his chest weakly.
“I was broken, and he picked me up. Made me as whole as he could. Protected me when my mind was weak. I lost the feeling of having a family for the longest time. Ace was first. Then Gabe came. Cade and Jake. I don’t want that to slip away.”
I take his words in without comment. I can feel tears building at his agonized confession. He’s broken open for me to crawl inside and see him for who he is.
My mind drifts to Ace’s words in his truck.
“We aren’t whole people, darlin’. Alone, we won’t make it. Together, we do all right.”
I threaten that. It’s an all-or-nothing deal.
“All I want is your trust to come back,” he continues, oblivious to my thoughts. “I want you to know I’ll cover you when you need it. Raise you up to see yourself for the relentless, perfect woman you are. I can wait for the rest.”
I nod, my head settled on his chest. I can’t look up to see him because I’m trying to hide the track of tears running down my cheeks.
“I love you,” he mumbles weakly. “That won’t ever stop, no matter how many mistakes we make. I can’t let you go. I won’t.”
The promise combined with a threat sounds perfect, but I can’t say it back to him. Instead, I shift to kiss him over his heart. It seems to be enough because he relaxes with a deep sigh.