55
Silvera
Amanda
I’m pleasantly aching when I wake up.
Jake makes a big show of carefully removing the ruined purple panties and pouting over them. I’m too busy playing dead to help him.
“My gift is ruined.”
“Your gift served its time, and I’m buying her at least fifty more,” Cade snarks back. Then he adds in a mutter, “It was the damn bow that did me in.”
They both shower with me. Having two men soap me up and wash my hair while I lean on them weakly is a lot more soothing than I would have thought.
It isn’t until I’m drying off that I realize today is Monday.
Gabriel has a meeting with someone about that manor.
It takes all the relaxed pleasure out of me. I curse it as it leaves my weary ass behind.
Jake and Cade are in a good mood, though, even with me grinding my teeth and stomping around to get dressed. Cade groans when he notices that all my panties have bows while Jake laughs at him.
I glance at Jakob, propped up by the door and decide to leave it behind for breakfast.
As soon as my feet pass over the threshold of the door, a pang hits my chest. A little tap to pay attention.
My shoulders sag as doom softly presses on me.
Jake and Cade see me pause and come back to take my hand on either side, interlacing our fingers. We’re suddenly a unit instead of a woman facing dread alone.
I should have grabbed Jakob.
I can’t turn back as they eagerly drag me to breakfast.
They’re so damn happy, and I can’t muster up a smile for them.
The three men at the table see us, and I can practically feel their eyes zero in on all the hickeys on Cade’s neck. Not to mention the bright grin he has on his face. I’ve never seen him smile so genuinely before.
Mikael and Ace sit upright and give each other smug looks.
Gabriel looks down at his plate. His knuckles turn white on his utensils.
We all sit down, four men chatting easily while Gabriel and I remain silent.
Cade confesses that he told me everything, which pisses Gabriel off. He doesn’t say anything about it, but the frigid glare he gives Cade speaks volumes. The others grumble a bit but accept it.
I can’t look at Gabriel while I try to eat. I keep my eyes on my plate and my mouth stubbornly shut.
They discuss things like his safety and how they’re going to ensure he’s ok. There’s the usual banter between Cade and Jake to keep things light. Ace is positive that nothing is going to happen to Gabriel. Mikael is getting everything lined up to make sure things stay public.
All this planning and I have the gut feeling it’s going to fall to shit. Hopefully, they can adapt accordingly.
This feels like a bad day all around. It started raining at some point last night. Good for sleeping but not so good for staring out the window and seeing hope on the horizon. If that wasn’t enough to make me gloomy, my warning system has a continuous light buzz going on. It’s vague enough it could be paranoia or stress. I’m not brushing it off, though. Something is going to happen today. I’m sure of it.
But to who?
“Call it off.”
I blink, realizing I’ve just spoken out loud instead of keeping to myself. My tone was dark and full of doom, too. I’m blaming the rain.
“We’re gonna be fine, darlin’,” Ace leans back with a concerned frown.
My eyes meet his as my lips flatten. “Call it off.”
“We have a lot of experience with this, babe,” Cade tries to reassure me. He reaches for my hand on the table and squeezes. When he feels how clammy it is, his brows furrow.
“I get that,” I snap in frustration. “Something is wrong today, and I think we should stick together.”
“You can’t come with us to the meeting,” Gabriel says in a cold and final tone.
I spare him a no-shit look with an eye roll included.
“What has your paranoia up?” Jake asks me calmly, taking my other hand.
“It isn’t paranoia . It’s my warning system. It’s been nagging me all morning. I trust it, and I’m telling you to call it off.”
Ace glances at Mikael with a frown.
“Every time I’ve ignored this feeling, it’s gone bad,” I’m focusing on Gabriel intently now. “The letters. The stairs. The damn golf course. Your office. Whatever is going to happen isn’t close yet. We can change it.”
“Are you psychic, babe?” Cade teases with a chuckle.
I slowly turn to him with a dark glare that makes the laughter stop.
“This could be a good thing,” Mikael frowns thoughtfully.
“No,” I shake my head.
“It might mean we’re going to break this wide open,” Jake offers and squeezes my hand. I clamp down on his touch so hard I’m surprised he isn’t complaining.
“ No ,” I insist.
“You say you had a feeling about the golf course, and you found the bunker,” Gabriel raises a brow.
“And got shot at, my apartment trashed, and shoved down a flight of stairs. It isn’t worth the risk.”
“It is to me,” he says flatly. His eyes narrow as if this discussion is over.
“I am not going to the hospital to visit you when it goes to shit,” I tell him firmly. “Or your funeral.”
A crack of thunder happens at the perfect moment to emphasize my point.
“Call. It. Off .”
“This is a chance, yes,” he leans back, a vague hurt in his eyes as he stares. “But it can get this done and over with before anything else can happen. We need to move quickly. Infiltrate. This is the fastest route.”
“Then go slow,” I beg him in a shaky voice.
They all stare at me in surprise. I’ve been pushing so hard to get things done that my sudden turnaround is baffling them.
“I can’t.”
My eyes drop from his as I shake my head.
“Amanda, this is more than just us. We don’t have time to delay,” Gabriel presses.
“We can get info on shipments and purchases,” Jake offers with a raised brow.
“Torture is always an option,” Ace gives me a tiny smirk while Mikael nods.
“Babe,” Cade says softly. “Even if it goes bad, we’re trained to take care of it. We aren’t going in blind. They’ve shown us enough cards that we can anticipate what comes next.”
I’m shaking my head, but my lips stay closed this time.
They’re as dumb as I used to be.
“Can you give me a concrete reason to stay and delay this?” Gabriel offers.
He knows I can’t. It’s all in my head and my chest. An intangible thing that no one else will understand.
“Then we’re a go,” his voice softens as if that will take the pain out of the blow.
“And we’re all going to regret it,” I tell him solemnly and leave the table.
“I’m asking you to trust me,” Gabriel says, standing to gain my attention. “I won’t let you down this time.”
“This isn’t about that,” I assure him in a gritty tone. “This is about all of us . What good can we do if we’re dead?”
“No one is dyin’ today,'' Ace glares at me. “Don’t you put that out there.”
“You’re superstitious about that ?” I ask in disbelief. “But you can’t listen to me tell you to stay home and find another way. Fucking typical.”
Ace shoves away from the table and leaves. Mikael follows him, pecking the top of my head with a kiss and a muttered reassurance I ignore. Jake pulls me in for a kiss and promises to follow it up later. Cade holds me and gives me his sly smile.
Gabriel paces to me and stops. We stare at each other, two combatants when we don’t need to be.
“Please,” I whisper. I can’t help it. I feel like letting him out of my sight is going to be the catalyst for whatever is going to happen.
“This is stress. Everything will go as smoothly as it can.”
“I am literally begging you, Gabe. Please!”
His brows furrow, and then he sighs. “I can’t stay. There are innocent people that need me to try.”
I want to scream at him. Not that it would help. Being noble is great and all but it won’t keep him above ground. He needs to go in as viciously as he can and not back down. This isn’t a hero moment. This is fuck around and find out time. He better get with the thought or he won’t make it.
“Fine,” my voice shakes hard, and I clear my throat. “You better be ready to kill someone, Gabe. I mean it . Don’t back down, no matter how it feels. You can regroup when you’re safe. Have therapy, whatever. And every single one of you better do everything in your power to come home.”
“We will,” he whispers softly. He looks confused and a little hopeful. Why my kick ass and screw taking names speech is giving him hope, I have no idea.
We’re both idiots.
I should be knocking him out and hiding his body for a rousing game of hide and seek. Instead, I’m watching him walk away.
He steps past me and then pauses.
“When I get back. Can we talk then?”
I stare at his back helplessly. His shoulders are so tense they’re hiked up. With his head lowered, he looks like he’s bracing for rejection.
“Yes,” I give in like the wuss I am. If I didn’t love these guys, I’d hate them.
Whoa, wait. Love? No, no, no.
His shoulders straighten, and his usual egotistical walk comes back as he paces away.
As soon as the cars have pulled away, that doom spot inside me wakes up.
“Shit,” I mutter.
Maybe it wasn’t them the warning was for. Maybe it’s for me.
I do my best to distract myself. The constant hum inside doesn’t get stronger, but it doesn’t go away either.
It’s a constant whisper of not yet that I can’t stop hearing.
I create a group text with Tera, Shade, and South to give them a heads-up.
Me: Warning signal up. Waiting mode. Stay safe.
No one answers because it’s god-awful o’clock. I wish I was sleeping just like them.