Chapter 8
I turn away, and Collin is somehow standing just to my right. He looks at me with concern, like I might need a hug.
I do freaking need a hug. But so not from him!
I give him my most dangerous glare. “Not one word…” And I start stalking up the grungy stairs to my apartment.
Collin follows a step behind me, and he looks contrite. “I’m sorry, Alvin. I genuinely thought you were into him.”
“And why would you think that?!” I swear if this ghost can read my innermost thoughts, I am done!
“Oh. Well, mostly because of your microexpressions and the way you stared. But when he rubbed your knee, I also noticed that the circumference of your penis expanded by just over 2mm—which, granted, isn’t the most reliable metric, but coupled with how handsome Rafa is—”
Oh. My. God.
I stop just inside the stairwell of my floor and look daggers at him. “Are you telling me you had your hands down my pants while we were in the car?!”
He folds his arms like I’m the crazy one.
“No! Don’t be daft. You’d totally feel that.
” His expression then softens. He reaches out, leaning in, and warmly squeezes the side of my shoulder.
“You just seemed so freaked out, lad, I was worried about you! So, I kept an eye on all your biological processes to make sure you weren’t going to, you know, need medical attention. ”
Gah!
I rip open the door and launch myself into the hallway.
“What kind of insane robot-ghost are you?” It’s almost four in the morning, and I say this way too loud, but at this point, I don’t care. I am done!
I shove my keys into the stupid, sticky lock my landlord will never fix, and Collin follows me into my tiny one-bedroom apartment, despite my very best attempt to slam the door on him.
“I’m not a robot. Or a ghost. At least, not really.” He stands right in front of me, his chest puffed up a little. “I’m an Avatar of Knowledge. The Avatar of Knowledge, actually.”
I stare at him for several seconds. The whole time, he just smiles back at me, like I’m his long-lost best friend, and we haven’t seen each other for years.
The sweet expression makes him look even cuter in that boy-next-door way of his.
(Which, frankly, is just more infuriating!) Then I notice that all the cuts, bruises, and blood that were on his face before, as well as the dirt on his hands and feet, are gone.
“What happened to all the wounds you had when I first saw you?”
“Oh!” Bigger smile. “Well, I’m with you now, so, like, that’s really healing.”
“No, I don’t know! I have no idea what you actually are! I haven’t even heard of… What did you call yourself?”
“The Avatar of Knowledge?” he says. He winces like he’s afraid I might hit him with a rolled-up newspaper.
I rip the watch nestled in the book page out of my back pocket so I can shove it under his nose. “And you’re connected to this?!”
The moment I take the watch out, I get my answer.
Collin disappears immediately. And that’s when it hits me: Being careful not to trigger anything, not letting my skin directly touch it—all of that was pointless.
The artifact is a pocket watch. How do you activate it?
Well, apparently, you just need to stick it into one of your pockets!
So, looks like I’ve been using an object imbued with crazy-strong (meaning potentially crazy-dangerous) power for the last hour! Did I check if it was cursed? No. Did I at any point check myself to see if I was being magically screwed with? No.
Did I do any single freaking thing a real paranormal investigator would do to keep himself from getting screwed over by what in all likelihood is ancient God-tier magic?
No!
I put the watch, still cradled in the ripped book page, on the speckled-gray Formica counter of my kitchenette, and give myself a hard looking over for any magical residue.
I start with a visual scan first (including an awkward look at my own butt in my jeans where the watch was.) I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.
Then I close my eyes—do I feel anything different?
But, as usual, when it comes to sensing for any real magic inside me, I pull up “there’s not any there there.
” Weak tea is weak. And it doesn’t seem like any extra has been added on since the last time I checked.
Of course, curses are tricky. I can’t be sure the bad juju is not just hidden or something. But Collin did disappear the moment I took out the watch. And, as far as I can tell, the appearance of this Avatar of Knowledge is the artifact’s only real effect. Chances are, I’m actually clean.
I stare at the watch on the counter. Now, the smart play at this point would be to hide the damn thing in my refrigerator or maybe my oven—somewhere no one would look!
—go to bed, and wait for the elf to pick it up.
I did what he asked. In fact, I’m so on track, the Obligation he placed on me hasn’t made a peep since I went inside the house.
Other than working up a sweat, I got in and out of a vampire nest without being hurt at all, and there should be no way for them to trace the theft to me.
If I do nothing more at this point, I’ll get a cool $30,000 for less than an hour’s work, and that’s after having some of the best on-the-job training a junior paranormal investigator could get.
For once in my life, I can finally come out a winner!
But… not everything adds up. For one thing, Collin knew who I was.
And sure, he’s an “Avatar of Knowledge,” so maybe that’s why.
But he was actually, like, happy to see me when he appeared.
Short, chubby, useless me. And now he’s saying I healed him.
Even if I had access to the full suite of incubus abilities—which I very much don’t!
—healing other people (or spirits or whatever he is!) ain’t on the menu in any way, shape, or form.
And if he is a spirit, why would he have been hurt in the first place?
I mean, the dude was a bloody mess! And terrified. Until he saw my face…
There’s a lot more here than an elf bullying a random, weak-ass incubus boy into a second-story job. Something to do with me.
Damn it!
I walk over to the watch on the counter, pick it up, paper and all, give myself three cleansing breaths to acknowledge how stunningly stupid I’m being, and then shove the wad into my back pocket again.
In an eye-blink, Collin is back, this time sitting on my ratty, third-hand polyester microfiber love seat. He’s hanging his head.
“You’re angry. With me.” His words come out in an unhappy mumble.
Is that what I am? I was pretty pissed off before, but was it really about him? I mean, if I’m being totally honest, like Rafa, all this spirit’s tried to do is help me. Does he actually deserve the full bill for my bad temper? When I have no idea what he’s been through?
I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to try to be a little nicer.
“Why were you hurt when I first saw you?” I ask.
He looks up, and gives me a sad smile. “Alvin… You don’t have to worry about that.
Let’s talk about what I can do for you.” He brightens a little.
“I know you’re not going to be able to keep me for long, but it’s more than enough time to give you a few stock picks that could get you sorted with your mother for years after the money from the elf runs out. You’d like that, right?”
Okay. So, he knows about the elf. (And my mom!) That’s, at least, a time saver. But not what I asked about.
“Collin, I first saw you when I put the watch in my pocket. You say you’re not a ghost. Am I actually talking to a magical artifact here?”
“No. I’m my own person. But the watch binds me.”
“So, you’re, like, what? A spirit that knows everything?”
“Not everything. I’m not omniscient—a specific question has to be asked, and I have to look for the answer.
I can’t see the future. I can’t read minds.
Real-time information has strict limits, my general ‘database’ only gets updated once a day, and with only a couple exceptions, I can only know stuff that could be discovered through human senses or tools.
But that’s still a really broad portfolio!
Magic spells, corporate secrets, advanced engineering, hidden diaries—you can pretty much ask me anything, and I’ll be able to get you a true answer. ”
I think on that a moment. The ability to get an answer about practically anything. That would be… pretty incredible.
Then it hits me.
“Wait! Are you saying you can tell me where Emma is?!”
“Emma?” His brows scrunch.
“She’s the daughter of a woman named Nicole Bruno who works for the CPA down the hall from me. She’s missing.”
“Oh!” He grins. “Ha! Of course, your first question would be to help someone else! I should’ve known it would be!
” He looks off to the side, then looks back at me.
“As of my latest update, Emma Bruno was being held in the second sub-basement of the Benevolent Society of San Cipriano located in Nob Hill, and it’s very unlikely she would have been moved in the last couple hours.
” He squares his shoulders, confident. “I can be more specific if you need me to be. Even help you draw a map.”
Holy crap! Yeah, I might have hoped the Benevolent Society was a good lead.
But he knows her exact location! And if I hadn’t had a single clue, he could still have found her.
Or any other missing person. Having Collin wouldn’t just make me a good PI—with his help, I could literally become the best in the world. My mind reels over the possibilities.
But only for a moment. Because while it might feel like I’ve just won the lottery, he’s just confirmed there’s a teenage girl in the clutches of bad guys.
I frown and focus. (Do I need to concentrate when I ask the question? I do it anyway, just in case.)
“Collin, tell me, is Emma in imminent danger right now?”