Chapter 18
I’m in and out for God knows how long. I mostly just feel sick the whole time. Headache. Stomach cramps. Feverish. Tied up. I do remember hearing Tara say that there was no point in struggling. That the wisteria vines are as strong as steel.
But there’s another voice, a boy’s voice, talking to me. Sometimes it makes sense, but mostly it doesn’t. Still, the sound of it makes me feel better.
Then, in a sudden rush, all the pain goes away. Collin is right in front of me. He’s in total focus, but everything else around him is a blurry smear of color.
“Alvin! Alvin! Can you hear me?!”
He’s gripping my shoulders, which really isn’t necessary, since I’m still trussed up against the arbor by the woody branch-vine thingies. I realize I’m surprisingly unstressed, considering what’s happening. In a good mood, even.
“Um, yeah,” I mutter. “And I can see you, too.”
I try my best to concentrate. I’m still hella fuzzy, but things definitely feel a little more clear. I know where I am, anyway. (Which, for the record, seems to be about ten miles up shit’s creek.)
(Still strangely not mad about it, though.)
“Ah, thank God!” he says. “I’ve bumped up both the acetylcholine and the endorphins in your brain, while also knocking back a bit of the dopamine.
It’s fighting the effects of the poison, but you’re using up the reserves of your own body fast. Since you’re essentially human right now, there’s not a lot there.
It won’t buy us much time.” He leans in, intense.
“She’s nearby, but not close enough to understand you. We’ve got to get you away from her!”
I squint at him. “You… can change my brain?” I’m trying to speak as quietly as possible, but my tongue is so sluggish, I’m not sure I’m actually forming words. Still, he seems to understand me fine.
“The longer you use the artifact, the more in sync we get. If I don’t fight it, anyway. I can’t affect the outside world directly, but there are meditative techniques that can alter neural function, and I basically just gave your subconscious a little crash course on that.”
I try to wrap my head around all the bizarre ten-dollar words he’s just thrown at me, and a memory of practicing Buddhist concentration meditation lurches into view.
I have this vague image of being under a tree in some forest in Thailand and told to focus on my breathing, right at the tip of my nose.
And doing that for a very long time, until I started feeling legit high. Kind of like how I’m feeling now.
Huh. I’ve never meditated a day in my life. I wonder if Collin can download other instructions into my head, like how to fight using kung fu, Matrix-style. That would be pretty frickin’ cool. (Not to mention super helpful, considering how my day’s been going!)
I’d kinda like to ask, but he’s fully focused on getting me out of here—which, let’s face it, is why he’s the Avatar of Knowledge and I’m the stupid incubus boy who lets nice women poison him.
“She’s only given you enough antidote so you don’t die. She’s looking for you to suffer, and she’s going to fill you with other drugs to make you more compliant. To make you want to give her the watch.”
Even though my tongue still isn’t moving right, I am feeling more like myself in my own head. At least, more like the Alvin who stood up to an elven warrior with a big-ass sword just a few hours ago.
“I’m not going to do that, Collin.”
A boyish smile flickers across his face. It’s a little bashful.
“I know that. I know you won’t.” Then his worried frown returns.
“But she doesn’t. She’s going to keep trying stuff on you until you break.
And it’s not like we’re dealing with a professional anesthesiologist at a hospital.
This is a mad lady feeding you toxic plants in her backyard.
Eventually, she’ll get the doses wrong, and it will kill you.
” He pulls his face into a fierce expression.
“There’s no getting around it. We’re going to need to charge up your incubus powers. ”
My brows scrunch. “You can do that? Like with the… neuro-stuff?”
“No. You need to drain actual life force. My life force. And that’s not something I can teach you.” He glances away, shy again. “It, um, doesn’t work like that.”
After a breath, Collin returns to me, eyes vulnerable. He tenderly brushes the back of his fingernails against my cheek. His fingertips then slide down to my neck. They tickle, but not in a bad way. More of a nice way.
Oh.
All my good mood instantly evaporates. Because I finally realize how truly fucked I am, and it’s not the kind of fucked he’s looking for.
“Collin, if you mean we have to have sex again, I’m sorry, but there’s just no way!
” Just for giggles, I check in with my dick—which, of course, is as limp as a wet rag.
Limper, to be honest. “I mean, even if I wasn’t poisoned, tied up, exhausted, and fighting an Obligation—my life’s in danger, your life’s in danger!
Or at least your freedom from eternal torture!
I know I’m an incubus, but I can’t just turn my horniness on and off like a switch.
I don’t care how many endorphins or whatever are flooding my brain right now—sex is literally the furthest thing from my mind. I’m too freaked out!”
I expect him to tell me I need to try. That there’s actually some kind of special sex demon technique guaranteed to get you hot and hard while awaiting your own execution. That, ultimately, sex is what defines me, no matter what’s going on.
But he doesn’t. Instead, his expression melts into pure empathy.
“I know. Even if it were possible for other incubi to get in the mood here—and I really doubt it would be—it’s not who you are.
You aren’t some kind of sex machine. You’re this sound, gentle, caring, and very human lad who feels so much, and I’m dead glad I found you. ”
He leans forward and affectionately presses the side of his face against mine. His cheek is super soft. The brush of his skin doesn’t do anything for my dick. But it sends a warm pulse through me. And what he just said warms me even more.
His breath is at my ear, gentle and moist. “What we did last time gave you incubus powers for several minutes. This time, we just need a short burst to get you out of these vines and away from Tara. And you don’t need a hard cock for that—you just need to connect with someone who really likes you.”
He slides his arms around my back and pulls me forward. I feel the vines loosen, and I smoothly step down off the lattice, the restraints slipping off me. Somehow I know I must still be trapped up there, bound up tight, but it feels good to be free of the rough branches, even if it is an illusion.
We’re now standing in front of each other, a foot apart, face-to-face.
His sky-blue eyes are so kind, and he’s got this cute puppy-dog smile.
Even with being totally freaked out, I can’t deny it—he looks adorable.
He’s so close, the smell of pine and heather from his shepherd-boy outfit fills my nostrils.
“I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but you are very special to me. I would give anything to keep you safe. So, please, Alvin—open your heart and let me in.”
He pulls me into an embrace, and without thinking about it, my arms draw around him, too. An actual, mutual hug is still a novel sensation for me, even if it is imaginary. He feels so solid. So strong. Then his lips find their way to mine.
I’m tempted to pull back. I wasn’t joking about not being at all in the mood for sexy stuff. And I really don’t want to see his disappointment when I don’t respond how he expects.
But when he kisses me—slowly, tenderly—I don’t stop him.
Even though my mouth was dry before, there’s just enough saliva to keep things smooth, and as his mouth caresses mine, I’m surprised to find it actually feels good.
Not sexy good. Not really. But sweet good.
Comforting good. Happy good. Good that this charming, loving boy found a way for our bodies to be even closer.
Of course, he’s right that it’s hard to believe he would really care about me.
I mean, we’ve known each other for less than a day.
And even if we had all the time in the world, I’m still…
. me. I know what I am, and despite what the evil druid lady said, I’m not someone anyone would think was “special.” At least, that’s not something someone as beautiful as Collin would ever think.
And it’s certainly not something an ancient, all-knowing entity would think, either.
But he’s told me what I need to do here.
Just like with sparking the car to life, I need to believe.
And let’s face it, if I have any real super-power, it’s gotta be embracing pipe dreams, right?
And this particular flight of fancy isn’t even that hard.
The making out, the smiles, the strong embrace—none of it feels like some hallucination.
It all feels completely real. And of course, I want to believe that a kind, smart, and totally cute guy could actually like me.
Does like me. It’s been part of almost every fantasy I’ve had since I was twelve.
It’s something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.
So, if I’m going to believe any lie during my last moments on Earth, sure, let it be that one.
Collin’s breath tastes like mint and fennel, and he sure knows how to kiss.
It’s like he’s massaging my lips with his—hard one moment, soft the next—but somehow it’s still easy to follow his lead and kiss him back the same way.
Like we fit together perfectly. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
But what really feels good right now is actually happening much lower than my mouth.
Not around my cock (sorry!) but instead somewhere in the center of my chest. We’re hugging super close, and as we make out, there’s, like, this happy little balloon inflating somewhere behind my solar plexus, just behind where his body presses against me the most.
Or maybe it’s more like music. A beautiful note of music. Ringing out, high and pure inside me.
And it keeps growing, becoming more and more moving, until it feels like I’m about to burst with joy.
All just from sweet kisses… Maybe what we’re doing is less intense than the sex, but in some ways, without all the erotic distraction, it’s even better.
And whether it’s real real, or just in my head, I can’t deny how it’s making me feel.
How it makes me feel about him. This handsome, caring boy in my arms who drinks me in like he just can’t get enough of me.
I break away and draw in close to his ear.
“I like you, too, Collin.” I huff the words out, unable to keep them in, letting myself get caught up in this impossible dream. “I really like you, too!”
He pulls back, and there is this look of surprised delight in his eyes. Like he’s been waiting his whole life to hear that. And I have to tell you, to have someone look at me that way, like I’m someone worth waiting for, like I really matter to him-—
Well, that does it. My lips plunge against his, needing all of him now. I kiss him fiercely, deeply, and I can feel my heart literally opening up. Letting Collin in. All the way in.
Then some dam breaks, and an ocean of delight rushes out from him into me. My whole body becomes flooded with vibrant, gooey, honey-sweet pleasure. It’s totally sex-level intense—more than that, even—but it’s not sexy. Not exactly.
It feels like love.
I’m feeding on love.
A bunch of things start to happen at once.
Most of me stays focused on this beautiful kiss with this beautiful boy, and the thrill of everything he’s giving me right now.
(He’s even making little whimpers as I suck on his lips—happy whimpers!
—which is crazy awesome to hear.) But I also feel the poison burning out of my system.
Whatever damage it did is being healed, and all the sickness that my endorphins kept me from focusing on is lifting away.
I also feel myself getting stronger. A lot stronger.
After what must be a solid minute of sensuous necking, of taking him in, Collin pulls back his head, and then I’m no longer hugging him, away from the arbor.
I’m back, trapped against the lattice, feeling the bite of rough bark against my wrists, forehead, and neck. It’s where I’ve been all this time.
“Jaysus,” Collin says, his voice husky, breathing heavy. He’s in front of me, floating just a few inches above the ground. He wipes his lower lip with the knuckle of his thumb, wantonly. “That went better than I expected. I really don’t want it to stop. But we’re out of time.”
Nothing is blurry anymore. I can see Tara over his shoulder. She’s dragged one of the chairs and the big table in front of me on the lawn and is finishing grinding something up on its flat wooden surface using a stone mortar and wooden pestle. She immediately notices me looking at her.
“Ah, you’re finally back, are you?” she says. “That fever was bad, buddy. You’ve just been muttering pure nonsense for over an hour. I’m sure you still feel pretty crummy, and I’m sorry about that, but I will give you the rest of the antidote—once you agree to give me the watch, that is.”
She starts walking up to me with the mortar in one hand and the blunt wooden pestle in another. It’s got a lump of pale pink paste on its tip.
“Of course, maybe you’ll still not want to do that since, for whatever reason, you seem to have decided the Avatar spirit is your pal. But I’m sure once I apply some of this lotus tree fruit to your skin, you’ll soon see things my way.”
She smiles at me. It’s not at all kind or maternal.
It’s the smile of a monster. Because of course it is. She’s one of Mom’s friends.
I glance back at Collin, who’s slid to the side so I can see Tara clearly. He doesn’t say anything. He just floats at my level, beaming at me. With confidence. With love. The same love that’s now filling the muscles of my arms and legs with boundless energy.
My head is crystal clear. My thoughts are sharp. As she comes closer, I take note that both of Tara’s hands are full. She is so sure I’m completely helpless, she’s not taking any precautions.
Which makes sense, because without having fed, I’d just be a regular human boy, right? Hell, a weak-ass human boy, all tied up. She doesn’t think I’m capable of doing anything at all to her. Not anything that would actually matter.
But she’s wrong about me—at least right now.
Which means it’s high time to show her what a real monster can do.