Chapter 70
“ B ig day at the office for me,” Adam whispers, breaking our kiss. “I’m unavailable all day.”
I nod, understanding the demands of his work. As he gets ready, I slip out of bed and decide to use the time alone to clear my head. The pool is the perfect place for reflection. Swimming lap after lap, I use the rhythm of my strokes to sort through my thoughts, weighing each option carefully.
The thought of moving in with Adam is tempting, but it’s too soon.
I haven’t even been his official girlfriend for a month.
I’m not ready for that step. If I move in, will Adam continue to push the fast-forward button on our relationship?
We need time to adjust to both of us working full time and being in the city.
Then there’s the option of moving into an apartment paid for by Adam. The luxury high-rise we toured is still fresh in my mind with its stunning views and prime location. It’s amazing. I love everything about it. But how independent am I if a man is paying my rent?
Finding a place of my own and paying my way is the most daunting yet exciting. I’ve never truly lived alone. From my parents’ house to dorms to shared apartments, there’s always been someone else in the picture. The idea of having my own space, answering to no one but myself, is my top choice.
But what I could afford on my own, actually afford, without being rent burdened, saving for retirement and full-on adulting, wouldn’t be in River North. It would be in a neighborhood with a thirty-plus minute commute to come downtown for meetings.
As I continue to swim, my thoughts drift to Adam’s generosity.
His offer doesn’t come from a place of control; it’s a gesture of support, a way for him to invest in me and my future.
I know the rent for the apartment is insignificant to him financially.
He lives in a world where a year’s rent is less than the cost of one of his watches.
But it’s more than the rent. I can already foresee his next moves—offering to furnish it, making sure it has everything I could possibly need or want.
Breathless from the swim, I rest my arms on the edge of the pool.
If I’m going to make this work with Adam, I have to come to terms with his wealth. It’s a part of who he is, just as my drive for independence is a part of me. I don’t want to become dependent on him. But I also need to learn to accept his help without losing myself in the process.