30. Cecilia

cecilia

. . .

I pull up to Gabriel's house, a knot tightening in my chest. This conversation can’t wait, but my hands still shake as I knock on the door. The seconds drag, my stomach churning as I try to figure out how to fix this mess. When the door finally swings open, it's not Gabriel standing there.

It’s Felix, his broad grin quickly shifting into a frown when he sees my face. “Hey, what's up?” he greets, leaning casually against the doorframe. “Gabe’s not here.”

My heart sinks. “Do you know where he went?” I ask, my voice tight.

“No clue. I thought he was with you.” Felix offers me a sympathetic shrug. “Wanna come in and wait? I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

I hesitate, but the last thing I want to do right now is sit in Gabriel’s house, drowning in my own thoughts. “That’s okay. I’ll just head home and give him a call later.”

Felix watches me for a moment, concern flashing in his dark eyes, but he nods and steps back. “Alright. I’ll let him know you stopped by, yeah?”

I give him a weak smile, turning back toward my Jeep. My head’s spinning. My thoughts are all over the place and my gut is screaming at me to call Gabriel. But I don’t. Some things ... they just need to be said face-to-face.

The drive back home feels longer than it should. My mind replays the argument we had last night, over and over. Each time, my chest tightens a little more. What if he’s done with me? What if I pushed him too far this time?

I pull into the driveway, and my heart skips a beat. Gabriel’s here, sitting on my porch steps, his elbows on his knees, his head hanging low like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders.

I freeze for a second before quickly turning off the ignition. He looks ... wrecked. Haggard, like he hasn’t slept.

This isn’t how I pictured our conversation starting. I had this whole plan. I’d apologize. I’d tell him I was wrong and that I want him to come to the sentencing with me. But now, seeing him like this, so worn down ... I don’t know where to begin.

Gabriel lifts his head as I step out of the Jeep, his red, bloodshot eyes locking onto mine. My heart stutters, guilt twisting inside me like a knife.

“Hey,” I give him a small wave, approaching him with slow and measured steps.

Gabriel’s jaw is tight when he looks at me. Slowly, he pushes to his feet. “I can’t do this shit anymore.” His voice is rough, and his words slice through me like a blade. My breath catches in my throat. He’s breaking up with me. The thought is like a punch to the gut. My eyes sting with unshed tears, but I force them back.

Now isn’t the time to fall apart.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

He shakes his head, frustration tightening his features. “I called you six times, Cecilia. Six.”

I flinch. The guilt digs in deeper, hollowing me out. “I?—”

He cuts me off, his voice rising with every word. “I knew you needed space last night, so I gave it to you. But today? I called you, and you didn’t answer. I show up here, and your parents say you’re not home. That you left early and didn’t tell them where you were going.” His voice cracks, pain etched across his face. Frustration bleeds through his every word.

The anguish in his eyes makes my chest tighten. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. There’s nothing I can say to make this right.

“Do you remember what happened the last time I couldn’t get a hold of you?” Gabriel’s tone hardens, his jaw clenching. “Do you remember how sick with worry I was when you went missing?”

Tears prick the back of my eyes, my chest squeezing tighter, but I swallow them down. My feet shuffle back, a small retreat.

Gabriel’s frustration snaps, “Do you have any idea what’s been running through my head all day? Every fucked-up possibility. Every goddamn nightmare I’ve tried to push away. You could’ve been hurt, taken again by Holt’s fucked up family … or worse.”

His words cut deep, and I start to shrink into myself, folding in like I can somehow hide from the weight of his anger, the intensity of his pain.

But my reaction only makes things worse.

“Don’t do that,” he snaps, stepping forward, his voice raw. “Don’t act like you’re afraid of me when you know ... you fucking know I would never hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumble again, but it sounds hollow. Like a reflex.

Gabriel groans, raking his hands through his hair. He paces the small space in front of the porch. Agitation vibrates off him, his shoulders tight with barely contained frustration.

“Fight with me!” His voice thunders through the air, startling me.

I freeze, staring at him. I don’t recognize this version of Gabriel. I’ve never seen him like this. Never this ... I don’t even know.

He spins on his heel, hands in his hair, and curses under his breath. “Fuck. I need you to fight with me, Cecilia. When things get hard, when it’s uncomfortable—don’t shut me out. Don’t just ... disappear. Fucking fight.”

I blink, struggling to keep up. “I don’t— What are you talking about?”

Gabriel’s chest heaves with each breath, his eyes wild with emotion. He steps toward me, then stops, like he can’t trust himself to get any closer. “You pull away when things get tough, and I ... I can’t do that anymore.”

“I don’t pull away,” I whisper, but even as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re not entirely true.

“Yes, you do,” he says, his voice softer now, but no less intense. “You retreat into yourself. You shut me out. And I ... I fucked up with the wedding. I know that. But this?” He gestures between us. “This won’t work if we keep running from each other.”

Tears pool in my eyes, blurring my vision. “I don’t know how to fix it,” I admit, my voice breaking. “I’m not trying to push you away. I went to your house before I came home,” I tell him. “I was going to talk to you. To apologize. I know how we left things last night was not okay, and I wanted to fix it.”

His expression softens, his frustration bleeding into something else. “We fight, baby. We fight together. When it gets hard, we push through. I need you to trust me. To know that no matter what, I’m here.”

His words crack something open inside me. It’s like I’ve been holding my breath, and now, finally, I can exhale.

Gabriel steps closer, his hand reaching out to brush a tear from my cheek. “You’re safe with me, Cecilia. You always will be.”

I close my eyes, leaning into his touch, letting his warmth pull me back from the edge.

“I know,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry. I want you to come with me tomorrow. I want you to be there.”

Gabriel’s arms wrap around me, pulling me against his chest, and I sink into him, letting his presence calm some of the anxious energy thrumming through me.

“There was never any doubt in my mind that I’d be going with you,” he tells me.

I pull back just enough to stare into his honey-brown eyes, “Really?”

Gabriel presses his lips to my temple and takes a deep breath. “Of course, baby. I’m always going to be by your side,” he murmurs against my hair. “Always.”

I sniff, my fingers digging into his skin. “I thought you were breaking up with me,” I confess.

Gabriel draws back, his face visibly stricken. “What?—”

I bury my face against his chest. Hiding, I know. But I won’t be able to get the words out if I look at him right now.

“I went to Adriana’s today and we talked,” I tell him. “She was there when you called and she saw me ignore it. So … she uh … she kind of set me straight.”

“She did?”

“MmHmm.” I reach up and wind my arms around his neck. Gabriel walks me back with him until the backs of his feet meet the porch steps. He drops onto the step, tugging me down with him. He positions me in his lap. My legs straddling his hips. One of his hands moves to behind my knee, the other holds me firm around the waist.

“And how exactly did Adriana manage that?” he asks. I snuggle deeper into his embrace. I like when he holds me like this.

“She reminded me of something really important,” I tell him. Taking a deep breath, I lift my head because what I’m about to say next is the kind of thing you need to look in a person’s eyes for.

“Oh yeah?”

Biting my lip, I nod.

“And what was that?”

Taking a deep breath, I go for broke. “She reminded me of the fact that I love you.”

Gabriel freezes. His lips part, and his eyes grow wide. “Me?” he stammers. “You love me?”

His fingers flex around me, and I nod my head, a stupid grin tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Yeah,” I whisper the words softly. “I love you.”

His entire face softens. “You mean it?” he asks, almost like he can’t believe the words.

“Yes!” I tell him. “You challenge me. You make me feel cherished and safe. You are so different from me in so many ways, and that terrifies me sometimes. But you make me feel loved, and you make me want to live. And not just for you, but for me too. You bring out the very best parts of me, and I want to be that,” I tell him. “I want to be the best version of myself, and I am when I’m with you.”

“Baby.” That one word is said with so much reverence.

“You are something else, Gabriel Herrera. And I think I’d very much like to spend my future with you.”

His eyes are tender as he runs the backs of his knuckles along my face. “I love you,” he says and my heart expands in my chest. “And baby, I’m never breaking up with you. Don’t ever let your head wander in that direction, okay?”

I nod, my eyes suddenly filling with happy tears.

“I gave you space last night because I knew you needed it. But first thing this morning, I was here to get you.” His hands run down my sides to settle on my waist. “I was upset because I was worried about you,” he tells me. “You not being here, not knowing where you were or if you were okay, I don’t want to feel panic like that ever again.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “You won’t.”

He nods, his smile curling the corners of his mouth. “I know,” he tells me. “Because you love me. And now that I know that, I’m never letting you go.”

Laughter bubbles up inside of me. “Is that so?”

Gabriel nods before leaning forward to capture my mouth with his. I sigh into his kiss, his tongue sweeping against mine. “I love you,” he tells me between kisses. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I know,” I tell him, nipping playfully at his bottom lip. “You show me every single day.”

If ads affect your reading experience, click here to remove ads on this page.