Chapter 21
Sawyer
The light from the hall casts dimly into the living room. Not much can compare to the warmth and coziness offered by our living room. Asher and I have spent many, many lazy nights in this space.
Now, we’re swallowed up by the overstuffed sofa. He’s lying across the length of the couch and I’m lying across his body, my head resting on his chest. A pile of mismatched cushions lie on the floor.
Two cups of coffee, Asher’s one half finished, sit on the coffee table. Although it’s May, tonight is slightly chilly. I tuck my legs under the knit blanket at the bottom of the couch. The moon shines right into the living room through the open curtains.
An episode of Game of Thrones is playing on the TV, and Asher is engrossed. I’m slightly bored. I already watched this episode on my day off, but I have to pretend, because we don’t watch episodes ahead of each other in this house, even if we’re about five years late to the series. I let my mind wander. Thoughts of Reece are not far from my mind. Not that I’m doing much to keep them away. The subtle changes in him over the last two months have become unavoidable. I don’t think this attraction is one-sided.
The ethical dilemma has become unmanageable. I shift against Asher, trying to find a more comfortable spot. His eyes are still glued to the TV, but his hand comes up absently to rub my back.
The show is nearing the end, thank God. Asher moves his hand until his fingers sink into my hair. He massages my scalp absently, grabbing my hair slightly and pulling, causing the pressure in my head to ease. I groan in pleasure.
“You’ve been tossing all through the episode,” he says. The credits on the screen roll. “You want to talk about it?”
I turn onto my back. Asher sits up and I place my head on his lap, looking up at him. “There’s no decorum between us, right?” I ask.
“Right. And no dramatic commentary on this episode?”
Oh. Fuck. I forgot to complain about how much I hate Cercei Lannister.
He grabs my throat suddenly. “You watched this episode already, didn’t you?”
I pretend to choke and die. “No. No. I swear, I didn’t.”
He laughs and squeezes harder. “You did. You’re such an asshole. I can’t even stand you right now.”
Then, he reaches back to turn the lamp on. I grab his hand. “No. Leave it off. I need the dark to cover my shame.”
Asher grins. “I can still see you.”
I reach up to grab his face. He comes down and kisses me, and when I let his mouth go, he remains close to me. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“It’s about Reece.”
“I figured.” He kisses me again, tracing his thumb across my lips.
I press a kiss to his thumb. “Reece has been acting . . . differently recently.”
“He has? How?”
“I feel a little dumb saying it but I really think he’s been checking me out.”
Asher’s hips flex beneath me. I’ve learned recently that it’s becoming impossible for either of us not to react whenever Reece’s name is mentioned. I rub the back of my head over his lap. I can’t help it. The thought of Asher being turned on by thoughts of Reece checking me out turns me all the way on too.
“What makes you think that?” Asher asks. His voice is quiet, but I don’t miss the rasp in it. Asher’s sex voice.
“I mean, he stares too long sometimes. Other times, I catch him looking. But I act like I don’t notice. And some things you can just sense, you know?”
I sit up and slide over Asher’s lap until I’m sitting in the space on the other side of him and my legs are laid across his lap. Searching his face, I add, “I must be seeing what I—” Well, shit.
“Seeing what you want to see?”
“Fuck, Ash,” I groan.
He leans forward and swipes his tongue across my lips. “This thing with Reece is getting out of control, sweetheart.”
“What should I do?” I ask, panicked, taking full responsibility, my balls aching while I deny how much I want Reece.
“Well, it’s not like we can just invite him over for a threesome, right?” It sounds like a quip, but Asher is looking at me with dead serious eyes.
“No,” I say, watching his face carefully. “It’s not like—”
“But what if it’s that simple?”
I laugh, despite the thickening of my cock. “Like, invite him over, sit him down here on this couch and ask him if he'd like to have sex with us?”
“I mean, some couples do it, right? It’s probably not that weird.”
“But this is Reece. What if he says yes because it’s you he wants?”
“You said he’s attracted to you. I trust your instincts.”
“Are we really talking about this, like seriously, talking about this?”
Asher kisses me hard. His cock is digging into the back of my calf. “If you prefer, we can try with someone else. Just cut Reece out of the equation, and see what happens.”
My first thought is fuck no because I don’t want to share Asher with anyone. Anyone else . Only with . . . with Reece.
“No,” I breathe into our kiss. “This is so fucked up, but the only person I’ll share you with is your ex-lover.”
Asher palms my cock. “That is fucked up,” he murmurs. “It’s so fucked-up that I want to fuck him while you watch, and then I want to put my dick inside him while he’s already got you inside him.”
I groan loudly, thrilled and shocked and I’m rock hard. “Fuck, Ash. That’s so hot.”
He pulls me into his lap, lifting his ass to push down his sweats. His cock slaps against his stomach and I pull one leg of my sweats off, not bothering with the rest of it. Ash grabs a bottle of lube from the drawer on the side table, and then with two lubed fingers, he sinks his digits into me. Curling his fingers slightly, he rubs against my prostate.
“Fuck, Asher. You’re so fucking good, babe. Those fingers are just fuckin’ magic, sweetheart.”
I grab the lube and, with the other hand on the backrest of the couch to help me balance, I pour lube onto Asher’s cock. Stroking him a few times, I get him ready, then shift until the head of his penis grazes my hole.
We groan together as I sink down onto him, slowly and a little at a time until he’s balls deep. My head tips back and I let out another loud groan.
“Fuck, baby,” Asher moans against my chest. “I love your ass.”
“Fuck that ass, Ash, sweetheart. I love how you fuck my ass.”
I bring my forehead to rest on his shoulder. “Let’s invite Reece over,” I pant. “Maybe he’ll like seeing how good you fuck me. Maybe he’ll beg you to fuck him too.”
Asher pounds into me, flexing his hips relentlessly. I jerk my dick off, gasping and panting and humming until I come all over his t-shirt and he’s shooting his spunk deep inside my ass.
I collapse onto his chest, breathing hard, my body slick with sweat.
“We can’t make such important decisions while we’re fucking, Sawyer,” Ash says with a chuckle. He eases out of me and I flex my hole, releasing his cum slowly. He trails his fingers over my sensitive pucker, catching it. Then, he brings his fingers to my mouth, coating my lips, before slipping them inside.
“Suck, baby.”
I suck hard, keeping his cum in my mouth, then I kiss him. We kiss and share his load until there’s nothing left.
“You’re right,” I whisper into his mouth when my rational mind is returned to me, my retreating orgasm allowing me to think more clearly.
He pulls away slowly. “Do you really want this, Sawyer?” he asks.
I lift my head. Asher has set all playfulness aside. His eyes search mine, telling me that he’s ready to make a decision if I am.
“What you’re asking for is a big deal,” he says. “You have to be sure. We have two years of marriage and six years of being together to consider here. And we have to consider the fact that I loved him very much at one point in my life. We were young, too young, maybe, for that kind of love, but it was as real as what you and I have right now. He’s not someone new and neutral. If his father would’ve allowed it, we’d very likely have still been together. How would you deal with that kind of history if Reece agrees to be with us like that?”
I have to take a minute to answer him. “I think he’s attracted to me. I think he’s still in love with you. I also know that a part of you will always love him and I could never hold that against you. I know that you love me. And—” I take a deep breath. “And I’m attracted to him, Ash. I know there are so many risks but fuck, imagine if it works?”
Asher’s eyes never leave mine. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that the day would come when I tell my husband, the love of my life, that I’m attracted to another man. More so, that he would look at me like I’ve slid him the sexiest pickup line he’s ever heard.
“Why am I not offended by that?” he whispers. “Why is it so hot to hear you say that?” There is wonder in his voice.
“Because we both want this,” I gasp, kissing him hard.
“Say it again,” Asher demands softly.
I groan. “Fuck, baby. I fucking want Reece.”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” Asher whispers.
“Say yes. Say we can try, Ash. Give us permission to do this.”
“Yes,” Asher whispers into our kiss.
I’m semi hard. “Oh, Ash. Baby.”
“I’m going to fuck you again, sweetheart.”
“Yes, please, Ash,” I whisper.”