Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Archie
Jaymee’s pet shop smells like hay and hamster bedding.
It’s exactly where I need to be right now.
I’ve escaped the apartment while Leo is at his meetings, hobbling on my crutches like a man fleeing a crime scene. Which, emotionally speaking, I suppose I am.
Because last night, things with Leo started to feel slightly…dangerous.
I could handle things when Leo was just a guy I was engaged in a prank war with, but last night, things went deeper.
Leo Brennan told me about his family. He opened up about his brother’s addiction, his sister, the weight he’s been carrying since he was a kid. And all I’d wanted to do was hug him.
I knew I found the guy hot, but I didn’t realize my feelings had progressed from “nice to look at” to “genuinely care about his emotional well-being” territory. There’s a significant difference between wanting to see someone naked and wanting to make their life better.
I appear to have stumbled into both.
The timing couldn’t be worse. My ankle is healing faster than expected—the constant throb has faded to an occasional grumble, and the crutches are starting to feel less like survival equipment and more like a prop.
Halfway through the six to eight weeks, and every day that the cast feels lighter is a day closer to Leo having no reason to stay.
“You look like someone who needs to cuddle a guinea pig,” Jaymee announces from behind the counter.
She’s not wrong.
And a guinea pig is a much safer option than who else I want to cuddle.
I lower myself onto a stool as Jaymee disappears toward the small animal enclosures. She returns a moment later and deposits a fluffy caramel-colored guinea pig onto my lap. “There. Cuddle therapy.”
Meanwhile, Billy examines a squeaky toy shaped like a carrot with way more interest than it deserves.
“So, what’s going on?” Jaymee asks. “How’s life with your hot, guilt-ridden roommate?”
Trust Jaymee to skip the small talk.
“It’s…complicated,” I say.
“Complicated how?” Jaymee asks as she starts stocking fish food containers on a nearby shelf. “Complicated like ‘we’re getting along?’ Or complicated like ‘I need to hide the kitchen knives?’”
“Neither. Both. I don’t know.” I stroke the guinea pig’s soft fur. “I need to tell you guys something.”
Jaymee stops mid-restock. Billy puts down the carrot.
“There was nothing accidental about my accident. Leo did it deliberately,” I say.
Billy blinks. “What? Why would he do that?”
“I’m fairly sure he thought I was my brother. They used to work together, and it appears my brother did something to piss him off enough that he wanted maple syrup-flavored revenge.”
Jaymee looks horrified. “Oh-em-gee, Archie, I’m so sorry. He seemed like a decent guy. But now you’re telling me we pretty much left you with a psychopath.”
“Don’t worry. He’s not a psychopath. And I’ve been making sure he pays for what he did.”
An image of Leo in the unicorn onesie sneaks into my head, and I suppress a grin. “And he’s actually a really great guy when he’s not armed with breakfast condiments.”
Jaymee looks at me suspiciously. “Uh-oh. It looks like you’re developing a small crush on the guy who attacked you.”
“He didn’t attack me. I mean, well, he did, but it was more of a maple-syrup mishap based on a misunderstanding.”
Jaymee’s eyes rise. “I notice that you didn’t correct me on the idea that you’re developing a crush on him.”
“It’s not a crush,” I say. “It’s more of an…appreciation of the guy.”
“You appreciate the guy who broke your ankle?”
“Yeah, I mean, not the broken-ankle part obviously, but he’s been such a good sport with helping me out.
And he’s a naturally serious guy, but he has this dry humor that sneaks up on you.
And he’s so competent at everything he does, even when everything involves wrangling toddlers while in a dinosaur costume.
He moved all my mugs to a lower shelf without saying anything because he noticed me nearly falling off my crutches reaching for them. Who does that?”
“You’re gushing,” Jaymee says.
“I’m not gushing. I’m providing relevant context for the problem at hand.”
It occurs to me that this is more than I’ve told Jaymee about how I feel about anyone. Since we’ve met, our friendship has run on a specific frequency—light, funny, no deep dives. I keep most of my friendships at that frequency because it’s simpler.
Jaymee’s still staring at me with the expression of someone who’s just watched a nature documentary, where the prey walks directly into the predator’s mouth.
“Do you find Leo attractive?”
I roll my eyes. “You’ve seen him, right? Is it possible to find the guy unattractive? He’s gorgeous.”
“Then I’m not seeing the problem,” Jaymee says as she moves to start refilling the cat treat jar on the counter. “You like the guy. Just make a move and see if he’s interested.”
A cockatiel in the corner chooses this moment to let out an ear-splitting screech, which feels like an appropriate soundtrack to my emotional crisis.
“It’s not as simple as that,” I moan, running my hand through my hair.
“Why not?”
“Because he obviously has major issues with my brother. And he doesn’t know that I know that. And…” I trail off.
“And what?”
How can I phrase what is bothering me deep down?
I thought getting a bit of payback would be fun. But as I get to know Leo, it’s turning uncomfortable.
And part of me is scared of what Leo might tell me about Vaughn if I put him on the spot and ask him.
I know Leo well enough now to know he’s not a petty guy. So if he wanted to get revenge on Vaughn, Vaughn must have done something terrible.
And part of me really doesn’t want to know what Vaughn did.
Because I’m fairly sure that whatever Vaughn did to Leo is ultimately my fault.
“Why don’t you just ask your brother what happened with Leo so you know the deal?” Billy asks, leaning against a stack of dog food bags.
His innocent question creates a hollow feeling in my chest.
“I don’t talk to my brother,” I say.
Billy’s forehead crinkles. “Why not?”
Just a simple question. If only it had a simple answer.
“It’s complicated,” I say. It seems to be my default answer right now.
Billy lets me get away with that answer. I get the feeling that Billy does everything in his life to avoid complicated.
Jaymee doesn’t though.
“So if you don’t speak to your brother, what’s to stop you just telling Leo that you know about him deliberately causing your accident and that you’re not holding it against him, and see where things go from there?”
She makes it sound so simple.
“Because then he’ll ask questions about my family, and I don’t want to have that conversation with anyone.”
Jaymee and Billy exchange glances with each other. Billy’s jaw tightens like someone who’s already constructed an entire narrative and cast himself as my defender in it.
“That’s their loss, mate,” he says.
I’m aware I’ve let my new friends assume the standard go-to for a gay guy, which is that my homophobic family has a problem with my sexuality, and that’s why I’m estranged from them.
It’s a far easier explanation than the truth.
I’ve always been good at giving people the version of the story they can handle. Jaymee and Billy think they know me, but they know the Captain Giggles version of me. I’ve tried to be honest with them where I can be, but I’m not telling them the full truth now.
There’s something else stopping me from being honest with Leo about how I know the truth about my accident. This game between us is a barrier, and I’m scared of deconstructing that.
Because Leo seems to…see me. Not just the fact that he figured out I was toying with him and decided to serve it back, but the way he’s constantly studying me like I’m a line of code that isn’t behaving the way he expected. Those deep-brown eyes don’t miss anything.
Why didn’t I expect the incredibly competent Leo Brennan to also be able to see through the masks I wear to protect myself?
I get the feeling that if I let him any closer, it’s only going to get worse.
And I’m definitely not in the market for that kind of scrutiny.
But what can I do about it?
The sensible thing to do is to push him away. Tell him I no longer need his assistance, thank him for everything, and let him off the hook for the guilt that’s been driving him. It would be a clean break. No mess. No one gets too close.
But I don’t want that either.
Partly, I don’t want to lose this competition between us. I don’t want to stop playing with Leo.
And doesn’t one perverse part of me actually like the fact that someone seems interested in figuring me out?
After all, I’m letting him see sides of me that I don’t normally show to anyone.
Like the competitiveness. The part of me that doesn’t just want to win our little prank war, but needs to.
Like the fact that underneath all the jokes and deflection, I’m actually paying very close attention to him.
I caught myself explaining my deduction about his Kentucky grandmother, and I didn’t even try to play it down.
I wanted him to know I’d figured him out.
It’s almost like I’m showing off to him, which makes absolutely no sense.
My phone beeps before Jaymee has a chance to argue with me, and I pick up the phone one-handed, still holding the guinea pig.
My stomach hollows when I see the message on my phone.
God, I thought things were already complicated. It appears another layer of complication is about to be added to my life.
“What’s wrong?” Jaymee asks.
“It’s my godmother. She’s in London. Shit.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Elizabeth’s really overprotective of me. If she sees me like this…” I gesture to my broken ankle. “She’ll insist on staying to make sure I’m okay.”
“What are you going to do?”
I chew my lip, thinking. Elizabeth loves me fiercely, but her love comes with expectations. She wants to see me thriving. Happy. Settled.
Settled.
The word sparks something in my brain.
“What if…?” I say slowly. “I wasn’t just injured and living with a stranger? What if I’m injured and living with my boyfriend, who’s taking excellent care of me?”
Jaymee’s jaw drops. “You want Leo to pretend to be your boyfriend.”
“Only while Elizabeth is here.”
“Archie. That’s insane.”
“It’s strategic.” I’m warming to the idea now, the pieces clicking together in my head. “Think about it. Elizabeth sees me with a successful, put-together boyfriend, and she flies back to America, knowing there’s nothing for her to worry about. Everyone’s happy.”
“Everyone except Leo, who doesn’t know he’s about to be drafted into a fake relationship.”
“Leo will rise to the challenge. He always does.”
The more I think about it, the more perfect it seems.
It could kill two birds with one stone.
Reassure Elizabeth that I’m fine while taking this thing with Leo to another level. Another arena where I can exact revenge on him.
Although “revenge” doesn’t quite fit anymore, does it? Not since Leo started playing back. The rap battle. The way he told the kids that Captain Giggles does celebrity impressions. The glint in his eye every time he plots his next move.
He’s enjoying this. Maybe not the costumes themselves, but the game? He’s definitely enjoying the game.
And if we’re both having fun, then I’m not really punishing him. I’m just…raising the stakes. I mean, it’s been so easy to push him outside his comfort zone when he’s just my assistant. Imagine all the ways I can do that when he’s pretending to be my boyfriend. The possibilities are endless.
“You’re playing with fire,” Jaymee warns.
“Maybe.” I hand her back the guinea pig and reach for my crutches. “But I’ve always been good with matches.”