Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
JAMES
“That’s the last of them,” Nate says as he places the box down in the hallway and dusts his hands off.
“Now to unpack,” I run the back of my hand across my forehead, beads of perspiration sit there and a soft sigh escapes me.
“Let me help you,” he says, a ghost of a smile haunting his lips.
“Thank you…” I pause for a moment, “But I get if you’re busy, honestly, it’s fine—” Suddenly I am cut off by his finger being pressed against my lips. My eyes drop, crossing, before they’re flicked back up and settled on his dreamy hazels.
“You’re my wife, it’s my job to help you.”
My chest tightens, heart thumping a little harder. “Okay,” I whisper as he grabs the first box. I lower myself, picking a lighter one up then follow Nate upstairs.
This is not what I had envisaged for my year, but here we are.
Married at twenty-five.
To a man I have just met.
And all that’s holding us together is two signatures and two gold bands.
My parents would turn in their graves.
Kind of grateful in a way that they’re not here anymore, if only so they don’t see this.
I had enough shit from Heidi and Brooke. They were annoyed at me, I get it. Didn’t help that I told them the morning of the wedding… but it wouldn’t have mattered when I told them. They still wouldn’t have been happy. It was shoved in their faces. They didn’t even know I was ‘dating’ so to spring on them that I was getting married… well, yeah… it was a bit of a bitter pill to swallow.
Placing the box on the floor, I pressed my hands to my hips and inhaled heavily. I didn’t have much in the way of stuff, but there was enough to keep us busy for the next few hours. Skating my gaze around the room, my heart blooms in my chest.
Nate had made me a room, decorated in warm greige and linen drapes. The black, metal bed frame sat center and was made up in thick cotton white bedsheets and large cushions. It was cosy, with dimmed lights sat into the ceiling, but I didn’t miss the string of fairy lights above the bed.
“Fairy lights?” My brow raises, a soft smile tugging at my lips as I cast my gaze to him.
“Yeah,” he looks over his shoulder at me as he places one of the heavier boxes down on the side unit, and I watch as his eyes crease at the corners.
“They’re cute.”
“Thought it gave the room a nice cosy feel,” he smirks as he turns to walk out the room to fetch another box when I hear him answer his phone.
I nod; not that he even saw it. But he was right, it did give the room a cosy feel. In the corner there was a huge bookshelf tucked away, a couple of books sitting pretty on the shelves. I loved reading, though I didn’t get much time now that I nannied for Keaton and Arizona, but I wanted to make a point of spending my evenings curled up in the corner on the small armchair that overlooked the quiet sidewalks of New York.
Sighing a breath of release, I look at the boxes that now cover the small cream carpeted area that Nate dropped in, one by one.
I didn't want to unpack, but if I didn't do it now, I never would.
Padding over towards where my purse hung, I reached inside for my headphones and slipped them on before turning my music up and lost myself whilst I unpacked, placing my tees and leggings in a set of drawers and hung my clothes up inside the walk-in closet. It wasn't huge, but it was ample space for the little clothes I did have.
Groaning, I sit on the floor crossed legged and take a minute. I feel like I haven't stopped and yet there are still boxes sitting around me that need unpacking.
My skin pricks and I feel him before I see him. Turning my head, I let my eyes roam over his body. He is leaned against the door frame, muscular arms crossed against his chest as his white tee grips around his muscles, his tee resting slightly on the band of his gray sweatpants that leave very little to the imagination.
The Used still blares through my ears, but I feel the burn creep onto my cheeks and his lips pull at the corners, his messy, shaggy hair is thick and his nose crinkles slightly as he looks down at me.
His lips begin to move but I can't hear a word he is saying. Softly pulling my headphones back, my eyes widen.
“Sorry,” I lick my lips, “what did you say?”
“Did you want a drink?” His eyes dance with mine in some game of cat and mouse but I pull them away from his and look into my lap, fingers knotted.
“Sure,” I shrug a shoulder up and I have no idea why I am shying away from him.
“Tea? Coffee? Squash? Soda?“ his voice is low, slow even. His eyes narrow on mine, head tilting to the side slightly, his lips pursing a little more into a smile.
“I'm fussy with hot drinks...” My voice is small as I shift, eyes back on him as I look at his face, the way it softens slightly, his fingers running through his hair as he plays over my words.
“Fussy?” his brow raises, and a slither of a laugh passes his full lips.
“Yeah, like how you make it, what brand of milk you use, what brand of coffee beans etc...”
He lifts his chin, his smirk only widening.
“Gotcha. How about I make you a soda or something, then maybe we can go to the stores later... you can pick your own brand and then show me how you like it made? Sound good?”
He steps his foot across the threshold, my eyes dropping from his face as I watch.
“Yeah...” I swallow, “it sounds good.” I find myself nodding over and over.
“Perfect, I'll be back soon...” he gives a soft wink and then turns his back on me and I miss the way his eyes burned my skin, missing him in an instant.
Slipping my headphones back on, I lose myself in unpacking again and don't even notice when he slips back into the room until I find my drink on the side unit. Taking a mouthful of the fruit squash, I place my hands on my hips as I turn and look at my now completely unboxed room feeling some kind of accomplishment. My little room looks even nicer now it has my own personal stamps. My candles, a few books, my lamp, my fluffy comforter that I have to have over me when I sleep, my essential oil diffuser sitting on the side unit, filling the cosy room with lavender and vanilla.
“Looks good,” his voice rasps, my skin prickling as I turn to face my husband . Still feels weird thinking about it.
“Yeah, it does,” I smile, before casting my eyes back over my bedroom.
“If there is anything you want to change then please let me know, we can repaint or get new bedding... whatever you want.” My heart aches a little in my chest at his kindness because he wants it perfect for me, but little does he know that it was already perfect.
“Thank you, but I really like it how it is. Just need a few photos,” my smile breaks as my eyes glide across to my bedside unit, an old photo of my parents and me when I was seven sits proudly. Sadness fills the depths of my chest and I feel my heart weep that I don't have another photo of us together and that it was our last one as a family before they were taken away from me so cruelly.
“That's a nice photo,” he observes and picks up on my sombre mood.
“Thank you, it's my favorite,” my head tilts ever so slightly and I try to ignore the burn in my throat or the sting behind my eyes as I blink away a tidal wave of tears.
“Want to talk about?” he asks as I swipe away a tear that escaped, rolling down my cheek.
“No, honestly, I am fine,“ I swallow down the lump and give a soft laugh, but I know that deep down I am not fine .
“Always here, I know we don't really know each other but...” I see the way his eyes soften as he looks at me, the way his lips turn down slightly.
“I know,” I whisper as another onslaught of tears brim in my eyes. I'm not a crier so I have no idea why suddenly I am getting teary over a picture that I see every day, but maybe it was the realisation of everything. Maybe it was bottled up emotion over the last few weeks.
Or maybe it was just because.
I sniff, turning my face away as if I am ashamed of being upset in front of him. I wasn't ashamed, maybe I was embarrassed or was it because I was showing vulnerability? I was a strong girl, I had to be.
My plan was to move to New York for a few years, then return home, but after my grandfather fell poorly, things kind of changed. He never came out of hospital. Then three months later my grandmother died of a broken heart, and I had no reason to go back. Well, that's what I think anyway. She didn't know how to live without him. Imagine loving that fiercely, imagine having an all-consuming love that burns internally, slowly destroying everything you once knew but somehow fills you with feelings that you will never be able to explain?
That's the kind of love I want.
The all-consuming kind.
The kind that ruins you for any other person.
The kind that is once in a lifetime.
Letting my head fall back, I focus on the ceiling and blink away the lone tear that rolls down my cheek.
Deep down I know that I am not going to get that love from Nate, but I know I will get it one day.
Because I deserve it.
Everyone deserves that kind of love once in their life, but I suppose it all depends on if you find your person.
Love of your life and a soulmate are two different things.
One you choose, the other you don't.
I just hope I get lucky.
Finally drawing my eyes away from the ceiling, I let them settle on him. He looks away with his thoughts, lost kind of. I take a moment to watch him, to appreciate him. This has truly been a whirlwind. I haven't had the chance to let all of this settle in. I have married someone I hardly know. Literally upped and left my home to move in with him, but I feel safe with him. Protected somehow and I don't know why. He doesn't make me feel uneasy or unsafe. It feels like home here, in some weird fucked up way.
His dirty blond hair sits messy, his beautiful hazel eyes tucked behind black rimmed glasses, light stubble dusted across his chin and upper lip that encase a full, pouty red mouth.
He looks like he would be a good kisser; I mean, sure I kissed him when we got married but that had hardly counted.
Would his kiss be soft and attentive, or fierce and raw.
I could be completely wrong.
Probably am.
“Let me take you out tonight for food and drinks, a welcome home kind of gift,” he pushes from the door frame and drops his arms from his chest before slipping them into the pockets on his gray sweatpants.
“That would be nice...” I trail off, tucking a strand of my red hair behind my ear.
“Plus, gives us a chance to go over the contract and to get to know each other a little better of course,” a playful smirk tugs at his lips and for just a moment, my heart flutters in my chest.
“Okay,” I whisper, my own childish grin slipping against my lips.
“Now, let’s go to the store... then you can show me how to make your drinks.“
I nod, finally removing my headphones and tossing them down onto the bed then looking down at myself. I am in yoga pants and a cropped vest. Not the most glamorous but I have spent most of the day unpacking so that is my excuse.
Nate pulls me from my thoughts as he turns on his heel and calls out, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Walking towards the closet, I grab an oversized hoodie and drag it over my head. Pacing towards the mirror, I run my fingers through my knotty hair and tug the hairband out. Shaking it loose quickly before scooping it back onto my head in a messy bun. Tugging a few strands either side of my face, a couple of loose curls sit neatly. It wasn't great but it wasn't the worst either.
Reaching into the top drawer of my dresser, I grab my lip balm and rub it into my dry lips and pinch some color into my cheeks. I needed make up on. I loved making myself up, I always felt so pale and washed out when I was bare faced. But I’m not going to worry about that now.
Now, I was going to go to the store with my husband to get groceries and then tonight, once I am showered and my hair is washed I will make myself feel better.
Giving a small smile to the reflection back at me, I liked who I saw there.
Sure, I jumped into this headfirst... but honestly, I feel happy, for the first time in a long while I feel like I had some kind of purpose.
And that purpose was getting everything from Rune and Secure Corp.
It was time to tear them down once and for all, and Nate was going to be the one to do that.
Then all monies will go to Rune's brother, the deserving one of the family.
And knowing that I got to be part of that, well, yeah, it did make me feel good.
I felt really good.