Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
NATE
I know I said I would stay away, but I needed to see her. Sounds silly really, but yeah, that's the reality of it. Stepping off the bottom step, I walk towards the kitchen and can hear their chatter, and then glasses clink.
“I can't wait to hear what you think,” one of them say, laughter wrapped around her tone.
“Are you going to try it with Nate?” the other friend asks, and I have no idea who is who if I am being honest, but I walk into the kitchen just at the right time.
“Try what with me?” my voice is loud as it echoes around the large kitchen and I continue towards the refrigerator, but not before stealing a look at her. White cropped top that shows her creamy skin, high waisted jeans that cling to her body in all the right ways and long, wavy red hair cascaded down her back.
I watch as they exchange looks but I ignore it, well, pretend to ignore it.
Silence creeps around the group for a moment and I know she is begging them quietly not to say anything.
But the dark-haired girl pipes up, sitting a little taller in her seat.
“I gave James a little gift, I revamped an old toy I made a couple of years ago and well, thought she—or both of you—could test it out,” she slices her gaze to James before it's back on me.
“Oh yeah?” I say all innocently, spinning around as my eyes burn into hers and I am fighting with myself not to get a hard on whilst thinking about how pretty she will look when she comes, how her eyes will go all hazy as I pleasure her like the way I have always fantasised. “What toy is this then?” My brow raises, my eyes dropping to the box on the table before they're back on James.
“It's a vibrator, kind of,” and her friends cheeks turn pink, her eyes casting to her friend next to her, then to James, before she slices them to where I am standing. “You can connect with anyone over the world, and they can control the vibrator, you can video call them or whatever,” her hands are moving as she is talking. “So yeah, I want James' honest review before I put them up for sale.”
“Well...” I try to compose myself and fight to push the dirty but delicious thoughts out of my head so I don't give myself away, throwing my gaze to the floor for just a second and then they're back on my wife . I feel my heart plummet as it skips a beat, I know she is fighting with my eyes, the fire burning behind those beautiful blues and I couldn't pull them away if I had to. “That sounds fun,” my tongue darts out and wets my upper lip as I try and fight with the redheaded temptation that is in front of me.
“Anyway,” James' voice breaks the silence as she pushes up, reaching for the empty champagne bottle as she does and walking over to where the bottle bin is, dropping it in then she is next to me, close to me and my lungs burn. She opens the refrigerator and grabs another cold bottle of champagne and as she does, her shoulder brushes against mine. My insides ablaze with fire that singes at my nerve endings, my heart thrashing in my chest, blood pumping in my ears. I catch her reaction, the way her fingers jolted when our bodies touched. Lowering my head, her breath catches ever so slightly in the back of her throat and I know she feels consumed by whatever this is, the same as me.
This moment freezes over and it's just the two of us. Just me and her. Her and me. Us. My breaths slow as I try and breathe as much of her in as possible, like she's my only source of oxygen and that thought terrifies me. My eyes slip for just a moment down to her parted lips and she edges that bit closer.
“Just kiss her already,” one of the girls shout across the room and the moment is over, just like that, glass shattering all around us as our walls are broken down, exposing us to the real world even though we've been in their view the whole time.
But just that one moment was all I needed.
All I wanted.
But I can't.
Stepping aside, I clear my throat as she walks sheepishly back towards where her friends are sitting.
I loved it when she blushed.
“Safe to say I think you'll be using it together,” the blonde ones raises her brows as she pushes her flute towards James and waits for her to fill it, which she does, dangerously close to the brim.
Deciding that this was enough playing for one day, I begin to move towards the exit but before I do, I slow my steps and face the table, a boyish grin all over my face. “Happy to help out, Little Ember ,” and I don't stay to find out what she says in response, I walk out the room and tuck myself in the living room as I turn my console on.
I debated going back upstairs, but honestly, I don't want to miss anything else that may or may not come out of the pretty little mouth of hers.
Waiting for it to load, I look at my beer and furrow my brow.
Shit.
Pacing down the hallway, a smile tugs at my lips when I hear what her friend has to say.
“If you weren't married to him, I would definitely be shagging him right about now.”
James' eyes find mine as I walk into the room.
“Oh my God,” and I know she is mortified that I have just heard another thing slip past her friend’s lips. Maybe I should have encouraged her to go out.
But I don't want anyone else.
“Thank you,” I start as I walk past them to get my beer, “but I think I'll just stick to my wife,” and James throws her head into her hands and a quiet laugh vibrates through me.
Spinning, I wave at the two girls and head for the door, “Bye ladies,” I give them a playful wink and disappear out of their space. As soon as I am sat on the sofa, I hear them burst into laughter and I share it with them, just privately.
Slipping my headphones on, I lock into a game with Kaleb, Titus and Killian and of course, I fucking destroy them.
Like I always do.
They only got consoles because of me.
Think they always feel bad for me, thinking I am lonely but I'm not, even before James I was never lonely.
I was happy with my life, happy with myself.
I had no reason to be lonely, plus, I had Jeff.
Hours tick by and I find myself looking at the large black clock on the wall, it's just before midnight and I hear the sound of a soft snore filling my ear.
“Errr…”
“Not me man,” Titus grunts down the mic, “but I am gonna shoot, I am tired and the baby isn't sleeping that well.”
“No problem dude.”
“Yeah I'm gonna get off, but not to sleep,” Keaton rumbles.
“Bye!” I kick him out of the chat.
“Asshole,” Titus sighs.
“When will you realize he only does that for a reaction? There is no way he is going to get anything but sleep tonight...” I trail off and Titus growls.
“Night man,” he yawns and I say bye before he disappears which only leaves me and Killian.
“Killian,” I say a little louder, the odd soft snore vibrating in my ear. I roll my eyes. “Killian!” I shout down the mic and a oh fuck claps down the mic. “Go to bed man, I’ll see you tomorrow,” and before he can protest that he wasn't in fact asleep, I boot him from the party and find myself groaning. Body feels a little achy. I'm tired.
Pushing from the sofa and turning my console off, I place my control and headset down then use the candle snuffer to extinguish the flame. Dimming the lights, I rub my eye under my lenses and readjust them as I pad down the hallway and see the lights are still on. Brows furrowed, I thought she would have been in bed by now, but no, she is standing in her little shorts and cropped tee, her headphones tucked over her ears whilst she is tidying the kitchen.
Leaning against the door frame, she mimes the song, maybe cautious that I might be in bed, maybe not. My lips tug into a soft smile as I watch her.
Don't want to say she is using the wrong product or cloth for my work surfaces. They're color coded, the cloth matches the label. But she isn't to know that.
No one would.
It's just another tiny thing that kind of makes sense to me. Maybe not to anyone else, who knows.
She bends down to slip the product under the counter and reaches for a bin bag and I let my greedy eyes trail up and down the back of her legs.
My cock twitches in my sweats and I readjust the way I am standing. She stands and spins and that's when she sees me.
She freezes on the spot, eyes wide, cheeks pink and lips parting.
Moving the bin bag to one of her hands, she uses the other to push her headphones off the top of her head so they sit around her neck.
“Did I wake you?” she whispers, eyes not moving from mine and I shake my head from side to side.
“No, I was on my gaming console,” I nod, stepping closer and praying that my dick doesn't decide to say hello.
Her cropped tee is ribbed, constricted across her chest and her nipples press into the soft material. Her shorts match the soft sage green of her top and she looks so beautiful. Fresh faced and hair dragged onto her head in a messy bun.
I step closer to her, eyes dropping to her chest before they’re back on her stunning blues.
“I'll do the rest of this,” I offer and take another stride forward.
“It's my mess, honestly…”
The itch burns under my skin, my fingers flexing.
“I really don't mind,” I half laugh, half tell as I run my hand around the back of my head.
She stares at me, head tilting slightly.
“Do you want to do it, Nate?” she asks straight, no stepping around the issue that is so clearly screaming in front of her.
“I do, yes,” I give her a shallow nod then take the bag from her loose grasp, and she gives me a smile.
“I'll make us a drink,” her voice is like a song as it floats around the room.
“No alcohol though,” I pipe up as I begin to clear the table. There isn't a lot of mess, but it just makes me feel better when I am in control of it.
“Nope, I've had enough, not that I am even feeling the effects of it,” she looks over her shoulder at me and gives a shy smirk before pouring some milk into a saucepan and heating it on the stove. I tear my eyes away from her and focus on the task in hand.
I'm not pottering long when she holds a mug of warm milk out in front of me, the smell of cinnamon wafting through my nose and my head is instantly up.
“That smells amazing,” I agree, dumping the bag to the floor and taking the mug from her, wrapping my fingers around the warm copper, and bringing it to my lips. It's all frothy, cinnamon sprinkled on top.
Her eyes glisten as she hovers the cup in front of her lips, blowing softly.
The air shifts slightly, both of our eyes connected as we take our first mouthful, and I hum in appreciation as the warmth travels down my throat. Something so nostalgic about warm milk and cinnamon, makes my insides warm and fuzzy, but it wasn't from my parents. They never gave me that feeling. But somehow, that's my childhood memory.
Milk and cinnamon.
Funny how the mind works.
Maybe it's because that's all I wanted as a kid, parents who actually gave a shit about my feelings. Tucked me in five times before going to sleep, brushing my hair from my eyes and kissing me softly and making sure I had my teddy or blanket curled around me so if in the night I needed it, I could find it easily. Maybe it's because I wanted the fun bath times, the warm towel snuggles and tickles whilst I am dressed in fresh pyjamas. Maybe it's because I would have loved a cup of warm milk to settle all my worries, to settle me back into a slumber with no nightmares because the warm milk would have made everything better.
Just like a mom would.
Maybe that’s why the memories flood back, but they're not memories, they're hopes and dreams of a broken little boy who always wanted that bit more instead of being left alone in the woods.
“You okay?” her soft voice fills the room and I am pulled from my internal battles.
I nod.
“Lost you for a moment there,” she smiles, a little frothy milk moustache sitting on her upper lip, and I know I shouldn't, but I do. I reach my hand forward and brush my thumb across her top lip and smudge it away.
Her eyes widen at the contact, widen at the small intimacy that I have just showed her. Popping it into my mouth, I give a smirk and her cheeks blush as I clean my thumb.
“Tastes even better off your lips,” I admit and my blood burns in my veins. I know I shouldn't have said that. I can't cross this line, even though I want to.
I signed the contract, agreed that this was simply platonic. A business transaction as I so carelessly threw around. I knew it bothered her, but she knew what she was getting into when I asked her. I never lied. Just maybe wish I had worded things a little differently or waited until we had lived together before having the contract written and bound.
That was the problem.
It was already done and signed off by my lawyer.
I had to protect myself, and I feel awful for it.
Her breath catches at the back of her throat, eyes widening and I want to lean forward, want to just press my lips into hers if only once but I know if I do, I won't want to stop.
And therein lies the problem.
I won’t want to stop.
“How was your night?” I try and spin a conversation away from my thoughts, away from anything that has me thinking about her lips.
“It was really good thank you,” she falls back slightly, dragging one of the chairs across the tiled floor and slumps herself into it, one leg crossed over the other.
“Good, I am glad you had fun,” I place a hand on the dining table and kind of shift my weight, my ankles crossing, both feet still firmly on the floor.
“How was yours?” she asks, taking a small sip of her milk.
“Meh, bit boring,” I smirk, “yours sounded way more fun.”
She dips her head, eyes cast down for a moment.
“Sorry about my friends.”
“Don't say sorry, they were a hoot. I was only messing when they were asking me questions,” I try and cover my tracks even though I wasn't. Every word that passed my lips was the truth.
She blinks at me a couple of times; silence falls between us as we drink our milk and this is most probably the best night I have had in a long time.
“Do you have your suit sorted?” she throws the question out there and I give a subtle nod.
“Well at least one of us is ready,” she laughs gently, eyes burning into mine.
“Told you I will take you out,” I shuffle and sit in the chair opposite, slouching a little as I roll the now empty cup on the tabletop.
“Told you I have to work,” she gives me a warning look, eyes narrowing.
“Yes, I remember you saying...” my lips purse as I cast my gaze away from her.
Little does she know that I am taking her out tomorrow and I managed to get the okay from Keaton and Arizona by telling them I needed to go over the issue she came to me with.
She'll be pissed, I am sure, but, I wanted to take her out and treat her to an outfit.
“I'll just wear the cocktail dress that Heidi leant me.”
My eyes shoot up, heart drumming under my skin.
“Oh yes, the lucky dress,” head tilting to the side as I watch her, watch as she sits a little taller, eyes glisten under the dimmed kitchen lights, lips parting before closing again.
“Didn't feel very lucky,” she mutters under her breath.
“Because it wasn't yours,” my tone playful as I continue spinning the mug, trying to do anything to keep my fingers busy to stop them from reaching across to where she is, to stop my fingertips from brushing against hers.
She tilts her head down, her fingertips drumming on the table, the other hand curled around her cup.
“Maybe,” she shrugs her shoulders up and after a beat, she pushes up from the table and takes my cup softly from my grasp and walks it over to the sink.
I take that as my cue to stand and bend for the trash bag and continue cleaning.
“Do you want help with anything?” she asks as she steps beside me, the breath snatching from my lungs from having her close to me, but I shake my head.
“No, go and get settled, I'll see you in the morning.”
She waits for a moment before her hand rests on my shoulder and I freeze, my skin burning from her touch, but before I can step away, she pushes on her toes and places a kiss on my cheek and my skin burns even deeper at the contact from her luscious lips.
“Night Nate,” she whispers as she pulls away and begins to walk towards the stairs.
“Night.” I just about manage, my throat bobbing as I swallow, watching her over my shoulder and just as she gets to the stairs where she needs to turn, her eyes flick to mine. In that moment I want nothing more than to run to her, cradling her face in my hands as I kiss her, her body moulding into mine as she sags against me.
But I don't.
I hold my hand up in a half ass attempt at a bye.
And she walks away.