Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAMES
Smiling, I take a step back and admire the dress that is hanging in front of me. Nate wasn’t lying, we did not stop until we found it. My legs are tired, I feel a little groggy but extremely happy that I have it hanging in my closet. Once we were done with shoes and purses, underwear and perfume, jewellery and make up, Nate marched us straight back into the first shop just so I could have my very own ‘ pretty woman’ moment.
The look on her face when she saw her commission dwindle away, well, it made my week. I don't think anything could top that moment for me.
Closing my closet door, I fall onto my bed and just give myself a moment or two. I needed to order my takeout, but honestly, I felt exhausted.
Nate is getting ready to go out, but I haven't seen him since we have been back. Kind of locked myself away in my room and I think it's where I'll stay.
I wanted a hot shower and then to climb under my fluffy blanket, snuggling down with a chick flick. I just didn't know what one.
Sighing, I reach for my phone and scroll through my messages. Half debated messaging the girls to see if they fancied a slumber party, but I scroll past our group chat and my thumb lands on Rune's name.
I pause a minute before opening our message thread and I feel a searing pain through my heart. I wasn't in love with him anymore. That had passed a while ago. But it still felt a little raw. Things didn't end in the best way, and now with me finding out about the embezzlement... well, it wasn't ideal but it needed to be dealt with. He was a crook. So was his father.
But when we were together, we were good... until we wasn't. But isn't that the way it always goes? Good until it's bad.
Flopping back down, I place my phone into my duvet and a heavy sigh vibrates through my chest.
I felt antsy. I wanted to eat but couldn't be bothered to eat. I needed a shower but didn't want to. I was bored but didn't care enough to do anything about it.
A soft knock on my bedroom door has me pulling my eyes from the ceiling and waiting for a moment before I tell him to come in.
He edges forward, the door opening slowly before his head pops around it, fingers curled. His hair is styled messy like it always is, but his usual black rimmed glasses are nowhere to be seen and I can’t remember if I have ever seen him without glasses.
“No glasses?” I break the silence that fills the room, and his shoe covered foot steps onto the floor.
“Not tonight,” his lips curl at the corner, eyes burning into mine. “I wear them mainly for work; I’m on screens a lot, becomes a bit of a habit I suppose...” he trails off and takes another step forward.
I haven't moved. I am still laying on the bed, hands resting on my stomach, head tilted to the side as I let my eyes scope over him.
He has gone casual tonight. Crew neck, long sleeved tee—khaki, with the sleeves rolled up around his muscly arms—black cargos and black sneakers.
I would be lying if I said he didn't look hot.
“You okay?” he asks, hands fisting into his pockets and I don't miss the glimmer of the gold band that is wrapped around his finger. A burning feeling radiates deep inside my chest and I think it is possessiveness that licks my blood and pumps so fiercely through my veins.
I nod, staying mute.
“Do you want me to order in for you?” he offers, stepping that bit closer and my breath catches at the back of my throat.
“No, thanks,” I whisper, and I roll my face up, eyes back on the ceiling as my fingers drum on my stomach.
“Okay,” silence cripples us once more and I fight the urge to look at him.
Not sure why I am being like this, it's definitely a me problem and not him.
“Have I upset you?” he asks and my heart races under my skin.
“No,” my voice is barely audible and I look at him once more. This time I push up, swinging my legs to the edge of the bed. His eyes bounce between mine and I feel the air shift between us. “I'm just in a mood,” I admit, shrugging one shoulder up, tilting my head to the side as I do.
My throat swells and I ignore the lump that forms.
“Okay,” he nods, one hand slipping from his pocket as his fingers rub across his lips.
“I'm fine, honestly.”
He nods again.
“Do you need anything before I go?” his arm falls beside him and my heart stutters.
“No, I'm just going to chill.”
“Okay, I won't be late... I don't think. We're just at Kaleb's for the night, few drinks, maybe a game of poker or two...”
“You don't have to tell me anything, you don't owe me that,” I nibble on the inside of my lip.
“I know I don't, but I want to... that's the difference, James. Don't ever think I tell you things because I feel like I am obliged to.” I swallow when he pauses. “I tell you because I want to.”
Silence fills the room for a split second.
“Any problems, call. I'll let you know when I am on my way home. I have a key, I won't wake you when I come home.”
“Okay.”
He gives me one last nod, before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.
I watch the door for what feels like hours and once I am adamant he is not coming back, I go back to watching the ceiling.
Time passes slowly and I finally decide to pull myself from my self-wallow pity party for one and drag myself into the shower. I needed to wash my hair ready for the wedding. I didn't want it super clean as it was a nightmare to style, I needed it slightly dirty. This was an everything shower. Exfoliate, shave, skin care, hair... all that kind of stuff. I was hoping that once I was finished, I would feel a little better. Annoying myself to be honest, no idea what is actually wrong with me. I suppose my mood went sour once I clicked onto Rune’s messages. Our messages. Old feelings bubbled to the surface but not enough to make me miss him or wish we were still together, just enough to still get under my skin.
Stepping under the warm water, I let it cascade over my body, head tipping back as my eyes close for a moment.
My mind drifts to Nate, my husband, and a shiver dances up and down my spine. I could have done a lot worse. He was handsome and smart and kind. Okay, hot. He was hot. Hot as sin and as the days went on, the more I wanted him.
But he didn't like me like that.
He made it perfectly clear that this was just business. That's all it was. My mind flashes back to the dressing room, the way his hands were on me, the way his lips were whispering against my pulse point, the way he edged closer to my lips.
My stomach knots, my pussy pulsing and I found myself pressing my thighs together and focus on scrubbing my burning skin, then I sung the same line of a song over and over as I done everything I needed to. I kept my mind from wandering to a place it shouldn't wander. A place where Nate was here, a place where Nate's hands were on me, lips, fingers, everything.
Turning off the faucet, I wrap myself in a warm towel and pad towards the vanity unit. I brush my teeth and apply my moisturiser before plucking my eyebrows.
Staring at myself, I notice the way my cheeks have reddened at the thoughts of Nate and all of the things I wanted him to do to me.
I have only been with Rune.
Sex was just... well, sex.
It was good, but was it a mind blowing, toe curling and body tingling experience? No.
It was just that.
Sex.
Pulling my eyes away, I drop my head and walk into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, I drum my fingers in a rhythm. My skin is burning, the ache between my legs growing evident as the seconds pass.
My eyes skim to my phone, then back to my hand.
“Fuck it,” I mumble, reaching for my phone and laying on my bed. Slowly peeling the towel from me, my eyes travel to the door. I know he isn't here, but the thought that he could walk through the door at any minute sends a thrill through me. I lay naked, a slight shimmer glistening across my body as the water is still coating my skin. I unlock my phone and begin to type in my favorite naughty site, it comes up with new videos and I find myself aimlessly scrolling for something—anything—but nothing is grabbing my attention and I know it's because it's not Nate.
I debate pulling the toy out that Brooke gave me, but I am too desperate, too needy to wait. Letting my phone fall from my grasp, my fingers tease between my breasts, down my sternum, skimming across my stomach before dipping towards the apex of my thighs. I let my fingers dip inside my already soaked pussy then drag them lazily to my pulsing clit.
Swirling in slow, soft circles, a whisper of a moan passes my lips. My eyes flutter shut as I immerse myself in pleasure, trembling fingers slipping into my wet pussy then back to my clit.
My breaths labour, my skin prickles in a cold sweat before goosebumps explode across my body and I shudder. Lifting my head from my pillow, I let my hazy eyes drift down between my legs, a small gasp passes my lips, mouth agape as I watch, turning myself on more as I finger myself whilst thinking about Nate.
The way his tongue would lap against my clit, his fingers curled and pulsing deep inside of me as his thumb spreads my lips so he can delve deeper.
“Oh God,” I whisper, fingers rubbing a little harder before sinking them to the knuckle inside of me, coating them in my arousal before they're back on my clit.
I fantasize about his eyes watching me come undone with each stroke, with each thrust and I know I am about to lose it.
My head falls back as I circle my clit, applying a little more pressure and I explode from my fingers.
My back arches from the mattress, my fingers curling around the bedsheets as my other hand fucks my soaked pussy, my body trembling as I let my orgasm wash away my naughty little sin.
My breaths are fast, chest rising and falling quickly as my body tingles, all of my muscles relaxing as I come down from my almighty high. I'm panting, eyes shifting to the door and my cheeks flame red.
I lay for a moment more before I drag myself from the bed, covering myself with my towel that was beneath me and clean myself up.
As much as the release was needed, I feel cheap, and I have no idea why.
Once my hair was dry and I had fresh pyjamas on, I head downstairs and notice a couple of bags on the front step of the door through the window. My brows pinch as I unlock the front door and look down at the bags before the quiet and empty street.
Huh.
I bend down, scooping them up and closing the door behind me and locking it once more.
Padding down towards the kitchen, I place the bags on the table and pull the receipt and check for a note.
I knew you would be hungry, but I didn't know what you wanted so I ordered a bit of everything. Nate x
I smile, pulling the note and reading it again before I dive into the bags, the aromas filling my nose and he was right, I was famished.