Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JAMES
“Don't forget that, Little Ember,” his lips brush against mine as he whispers, and I jolt when I hear the doorbell echo down the long hallway.
I hear his breathy chuckle pass his lips but I am too intoxicated to respond. He leans across me as he places his wine glass down softly next to mine.
“I am going for a shower,” he turns his back on me and walks from the room and as much as I try, my eyes betray me as I drag them across his back as he disappears.
Giving myself a couple of seconds to compose myself, I run my clammy palms down my pant covered thighs and move for the front door when the doorbell goes again. Clearing my throat, I push a smile onto my face as I twist the door knob and swing it open.
“Hey girls,” I step aside to let them in. Brooke is dressed to the nines, always is. She always looks amazing. Heidi is wearing sweatpants and a cropped white tee with sneakers.
Both effortlessly beautiful.
I always felt the odd one out.
A thorn between two roses, or something like that.
“You okay? You look a little flushed,” Brooke asks as she kicks her heeled pumps off, her fingers running along the hem of her black mini dress, tights sheer and wrapped around her long, toned legs.
“Yeah fine, just hot from cooking,” I lie too easily as Heidi kicks her sneakers off and I close the door behind them, twisting it locked. “Follow me,” I nod my head, and I know they have been here before, but I am trying to be the hostess with the most-est.
I usher for them to take a seat at the breakfast bar as I open the fridge and grab the bottle of wine.
“Wine?” I ask, the smile still on my lips.
They both nod and I grab another two glasses and fill theirs up. Walking them over, I place them on the work surface and start grabbing the ingredients from the fridge as I place them on the counter.
“Where is Nate?” Brooke asks as she looks around the room.
“Shower,” I nod as I stir my spaghetti and turn the heat down.
I chop onions and sauté them before making up my tomato sauce and sprinkle with salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar before giving it a stir.
I hear them chatting as I add a cup of vodka.
The sound of floorboards creak above us as Nate makes his way across the landing and down the stairs. My heart jumps in my chest, kind of knocking the breath out of my lungs.
Inhaling sharply, I hold my breath for just a moment when I feel him before I see him. He saunters into the room, wearing sweats and a tee with a boyish grin on his face.
“Ladies,” he talks to the girls, giving them a subtle nod as he does and collects his wine off the side just as I am draining the spaghetti. I dump the contents into the sauce and let it thicken for just a moment.
“Hi Nate,” Heidi's voice definitely lifts a note or two more as she bats her eyelashes at him and he puffs his chest out.
I roll my eyes.
Not because I am jealous.
Okay, maybe I am.
Just a little.
“Nate,” Brooke gives a subtle nod in his direction as he leans over the breakfast bar just as I reach up for the pasta bowls and line them up.
“Hubby,” I spin, my tone playful and sweet as I take it as my turn to now bat my lashes a little faster than I would normally.
“Yes, wife?”
“Could you go and grab another bottle of white, I’m about to drain this one,” I say softly as I dance across to the fridge, grab the wine and pour the last quarter into my glass.
“Certainly,” he twists his lips and gives me the once over before he disappears into the room just off the kitchen.
“Am I sensing some tension?” Brooke’s brows raise as she lets her head turn back around to face me, before they knit tightly.
“Tension?” I laugh it off, “No, no tension.” I rush out before I scoop a spoonful of spaghetti into one of the pasta dishes and continue to dish up as Nate walks back through into the kitchen. Two strides and he is next to me, tugging the drawer and reaching for the corkscrew. The pop of him removing it fills the room before he tops everyone’s glasses up except mine as he passes me and places the now open wine in the refrigerator.
He waltzes back over to the breakfast bar and takes a mouthful of his wine, leaning over the countertop and I have to battle with myself not to look at his ass.
After grating the parmesan, I grab forks and spoons and walk across to the interconnected dining room and place the cutlery down. I reach for the placemats and put them out for the four of us and when I turn to walk back into the kitchen, Nate is standing in the archway holding two of the bowls.
“Where are we sitting?” he asks, his eyes drifting from mine and to where I have half-heartedly laid the table.
“Wherever you want,” I shrug my shoulders up and walk past him and back towards the kitchen to grab the other plates, but Brooke and Heidi have beat me to it. “I'm just going to grab the wine and the salad,” I give a soft nod but keep my head down as I do.
When I am back in the dining room, Brooke and Heidi are next to each other, Brooke opposite Nate, Heidi opposite me.
It's silent, their eyes are bouncing between me and Nate.
I shuffle in my seat, head down as I reach for my fork and spoon.
“James mentioned about us cat sitting,” Brooke mumbles through a mouthful of pasta and I am sure she is trying to remove the uneasiness that seems to have settled over the room.
Nate nods. “I do have Jeff booked into a cattery but...” he side-eyes me before he is back looking at Brooke and Heidi, eyes volleying between them, “I am not sure whether I am comfortable with that or not.”
I clear my throat.
“We would be happy to help,” Brooke looks at Heidi who nods as she twists some spaghetti onto her fork.
“This is really good, James,” Nate compliments as he shovels another forkful into his mouth, humming in appreciation.
“Thank you,” I give him a smile before I focus on my friends.
“We can both stay here, or one of us, whatever you want,” Heidi says before taking a mouthful of her wine.
“Well, it would make me feel a little more at ease knowing that he is here, with you two,” Nate places his fork down for a moment as he reaches for his glass and wraps his fingers around the stem, wetting his tongue with the crisp white wine. “Only if that's okay of course.”
My friends both give a solid nod.
“We can make sure one of us are here at all times.”
Nate shakes his head.
“No, no,” he places his glass down, “he is used to being on his own for the day, it's more that I know someone will be here like I normally am, so evenings, weekends, but he is fine to just chill out without anyone here during the day when I would normally be at work,” he gives a small smile and I drag my eyes away from his handsome face.
“Okay, well we can still switch it up, we will do what he is used to.”
I roll my lips, grateful that Nate feels comfortable enough to have them stay here and look after Jeff.
“Okay perfect,” Nate smiles at them, “how are you fixed for next week?”
and they both look up from their vodka pasta.
“Errr, I have a meeting but that's about it,” Brooke shrugs a shoulder up as she reaches for her own wine glass.
“Oh shit, the meeting you wanted me to come to,” I drop my fork and place my hand to my forehead.
“It’s fine, don’t stress babe, honestly,” she reaches over and places her hand over mine and gives me a reassuring smile. “I am sure I will cope,” she gives a playful wink.
Heidi comments that she is free next week in between my small meltdown.
“I'm taking James away for the week...” he pauses, changing the subject before he gives me a look full of warmth.
“Ooo very nice, is this a honeymoon?” Brooke wiggles her brows as she reaches for her fork, twisting spaghetti onto the prongs.
“It is,” he nods confidently.
“Where are you going?” Heidi asks all dreamy, chin resting on her hands, elbows perched on the table.
“Maldives,” I mumble as I admit defeat with my dinner, pushing the plate away. Very yummy, but very stuffed.
“Wow,” they both say in unison just as Nate drapes his hand over the back of my chair and my heart stutters in my chest, his fingers dusting between my shoulder blades ever so slightly.
“Yup,” I look up at him, a genuine smile pulling at my lips.
He may have annoyed me slightly with his comment just before the girls got here, but still, he was my husband. Still wouldn't listen to him, I liked working. I didn't want to rely on a man. I never have once in my life relied on anyone for anything, I wasn't about to start now.
“I'm sorry I can't be at the meeting,” and I tilt my head to the side as I focus on Brooke, but she just waves me away as if it's not a problem.
“Screw the meeting, you're going to the Maldives.”
Heidi nods looking at our best friend. “And of course we will have Jeff,” she pipes up and gives Nate a warm smile, Brooke placing her cutlery down as she pushes her plate away.
“Are you sure?” He asks again and I can tell he is nervous. He is tapping his fingers against his thumb pad in a rhythm on the back of my chair.
“We are, honestly, we will be fine and so will Jeff.”
“Well then, that's that settled,” he chimes. “I’ll get keys sorted before you leave tonight. We're going to be leaving about nine tomorrow morning so I will make sure Jeff has fresh water and a bowl of food before we leave. I'll leave a note with everything that you'll need,” and he drops his arm from behind me as he pushes back on his chair and then leans down to place a kiss on the top of my head, lingering for a moment. I hear the deep inhale he takes through his nose before he stands, reaching for the finished pasta dishes. “I just have to cancel the cattery, I'll be back soon,” he announces to the room, but he aims it at me and I give a soft nod as he disappears.
“He has it so bad for you,” Heidi beams, chin still resting on her hands and I laugh it off.
“He doesn't.”
“Oh no he really does,” Brooke nods her head over enthusiastically.
“Whatever,” I roll my eyes and shrug it off as I place my glass over my nose and drain my wine.
“So, the Maldives,” Brooke leans across the table, eyes all dreamy and glassy.
“Yup, was only decided today.” I place my now empty glass down and drag my fingers up and down the stem delicately. “But don't be deceived, it's not a honeymoon per se. Nate has crashed his best friend’s honeymoon and I am going with Nate but I’ll be working.”
“Sorry... what?” Heidi drops her hands, sitting back in her chair, palms flat on the table.
“I'm going as Sebastian’s and Smith’s nanny,” I nibble the inside of my lip, “and that tension you could feel was because Nate was being an asshole just before you arrived.”
“In what way?” one of Brooke's perfectly shaped brows lift high in her head.
“Said that I am going as his wife, not the nanny... in a roundabout way.”
They both stay silent, but I don't miss the look they exchange.
“None of his friends know we're married... they think Nate is going on his own, and me, well, I'm going as the nanny,” I lift a shoulder.
“Why has he not told them?”
“Just the way he is. I'm going to the wedding this weekend as his wife so they'll find out soon enough,” I half laugh as I turn my head in the direction he left.
“Was it a bad argument?” Heidi asks and I sigh before I lazily drag my eyes to my friends and shake my head.
“No, I kept quiet. He was pressed against me, just made it pretty clear that I was his wife over my job and I dunno...” I paused for a moment and leant across the table slightly, “it just got my back up I suppose. I'm not going to stop working because he tells me to. Nannying is not my dream job but it pays and when the time is right, I'll move on I am sure, but for now, well it works. Plus, I love Seb and Smith and I'm not quite sure that I want to give them up just yet.”
“We get it,” Brooke nods and reaches her hand across the table, placing it on top of mine then Heidi follows suit, her hand on top of Brooke's.
“Don't let him dictate to you, it's a marriage, it's a partnership...” she pauses as I can see her getting herself in a fluster, “it's not some business arrangement.”
Oh if only you knew.
And I laugh softly just as Nate walks back in with the wine.
“All okay?” his eyes bounce around the table as he looks at the three of us, all leant in over the table, our hands resting on top of each other’s.
“Yup,” I smile as I slip my hand out from under my friends’ and slowly they drag theirs back over the wooden table top.
“Sure?” he crinkles his brows as he stares me down.
“Sure,” I give an affirmative nod before he hovers the bottle neck over my wine glass.
“More?”
“Only a little, my head is starting to feel a little fuzzy... and we have to be up early,” I look up at him through my lashes.
“Okay baby,” he says, and it makes my insides burn, a fire slowly crackling deep inside of me as it grows steadily.
Baby .
I love a nickname, but nothing beats baby.
“Did you get through to the cattery?” I ask as he tops Brooke’s and Heidi's glasses up.
“Yeah, all sorted,” he gives a small smile before he walks back out of the room only to return with a crystal glass of whiskey.
“Are you looking forward to the wedding?” Heidi asks as she gently swirls her wine in her glass and I nod, Nate's arm swung back around my chair.
I know it's all for show, but still, I can pretend just for tonight that it isn't.
“Nate? How about you?” and he shuffles in his seat, kind of sitting a little taller than he was.
“Yeah I am, I am looking forward to having my beautiful wife on my arm,” he smiles at me adoring eyes. “I am excited to watch my best friend get married to the love of his life, they deserve it.”
“Have you known them long?” Brooke asks him, her fingertips tapping on the base of her glass.
“Since school; there are four of us. All married, two out of the four of us have kids,” he swings his head around to look at me.
“Do you want kids?” Heidi just comes out with it and my eyes widen, mouth agape.
And Nate just laughs, letting his face fall, his head dipping as he shakes it softly.
“Never say never... but I don't know, just never saw them in my future,” he tilts his head to the left to meet the shoulder he shrugs up.
I stay quiet.
“What friends have kids?” the onslaught of questions continue.
“Titus and Keaton.”
The girls nod as if they know who they are.
“Titus is Keaton's wife’s dad...” and I watch as they both try and understand what I just said and Nate laughs loudly and my God his laugh turns me on.
“Let me explain,” he gives me a wink, his fingertips brushing across the base of my neck ever so slightly and causing my skin to break out in a blanket of goosebumps. “My friends,” he shuffles, “Kaleb, Keaton and Titus,” he continues, fingertips gripping the rim of his crystal tumbler. “I knew them from school, my family if you will.” He smiles as if remembering a memory. “Kaleb and Keaton are twins. I love them both, but I kind of clicked with Kaleb more, and if I had to choose a best friend, it would be him. Always,” he finally brings his glass to his lips and takes a mouthful. “Titus is the fourth person in our group. He was a young dad and found himself a single dad to a very young baby. Her name is Arizona. We all stepped in where we could to help, he was out of his depth and up to his eyeballs in dirty diapers.” He rolls his lips, fingers back to gripping the rim of his glass. “We grew even closer in those few years, kind of all became a family somehow and all because of this little girl.”
I watch as the girls tilt their heads, eyes a little watery and I find myself hanging on his every word, wishing for him to keep talking so I can get to know him and his friends that bit more.
“It was us four and her. Four men and a baby,” he chuckles softly, head tilting slightly. “Fast forward twenty-one years, Titus got called to London to bodyguard for his now wife, Amora...” and he pauses, gauging the reaction of the girls. He laughs a little harder. “That's a story for another night.”
The girls just stare.
“I was meant to go with Titus, but something kept me here...” he pauses, his fingers trailing over the back of my neck once more and my eyes are glued to my friends. “It was agreed that Arizona would move in with me, but between that agreement and Titus leaving, she moved in with Keaton because of the job that crept into my lap. She was in med school, she was twenty-one, she didn't need a babysitter, but Titus just didn't want her being in the house by herself so they agreed that she would stay with Keaton. Plus, they would be like passing ships in the night because of their work schedules... but alas, just like a romance movie, he fell for the forbidden fruit.”
“Love that,” Brooke smiles, eyes widening a little.
“And they secretly got married in Vegas after losing a game of craps.”
“Oh shit,” Heidi giggles and I sit there just amused. I may nanny for Keaton and Arizona, but I had no idea on their history and I am loving it. It really is like a little forbidden romance story and I am here for it.
“Yeah... it’s safe to say that Titus was not impressed. They argued, Arizona froze him out prior to all of this though cos he married his client and got her pregnant when she was engaged to marry someone else.”
“What the fuck?” Brooke whispers, mouth agape as she reaches for her wine glass. Heidi has already downed hers dry.
“Yup.”
“Wow,” I whisper, because I had no idea.
“And the ones getting married, is there story as crazy?” Heidi asks, eyes bouncing around Nate's face and he shakes his head.
“Not really, he was sent to watch her but ended up falling in love with her, a little cliché for my liking,” he scoffs. “But,” he begins again, “Connie, the fiancée of my friend Kaleb, well, her best friend married her dad... twice.”
“Whaaaat??” Brooke howls a laugh, tipping her head back.
“Honestly,” he smirks, “so fucked up.”
“Yeah... just a little.”
“And, we seem to have gone from a group of four friends to a group of seven men. Killian—Connie's dad—is now part of the group; Titus' wife, Amora's dad, Xavier, and the latest mEmber is Dexter. He was… is… no, was Arizona's boss... kind of.”
Brooke puffs her cheeks out and Heidi just sits with her head in her hands, elbows on the table.
“That was...” I pause, looking at my friends then lifting my face to look at my husband.
“A lot?”
“Yeah,” I whisper into the quiet room.
“Yeah,” he smirks and takes a sip of his whiskey.
“My mind is blown,” Brooke mutters, sighing and reaching down into her purse for her phone when her brows furrow at the screen.
“Everything okay?” I ask, a little concerned.
“Yeah, just work stuff,” she flaps her hand in my direction before slipping her phone away.
“Talking of work,” Nate removes his arm from the back of my chair, “how's the app going?”
“Yeah well... I think. I am just trying to push it out with some influencers, need to get it out there a bit more.”
“Can you get me some by tomorrow?” Nate asks and I pinch my brows as I look from him to Brooke to Heidi.
“Yeah sure, how many?”
“Six sets.”
My heart thumps.
“You can't be serious.” My eyes widen and my skin pricks with goosebumps.
“Oh, I am very serious.” His tongue darts out as he slowly runs it across his bottom lip.
Fuck.
“I can get that sorted for you, no problem,” she pulls her phone back out and types something into it.
“You said when you were last over that you have an investor now, how is it going?” and I can tell he genuinely cares as he asks the question.
“Yeah, okay I think, meeting them at their club next week,” she nods as if talking to herself.
“Have they raised money or are they fronting the cost themselves?”
“They haven't said,” her eyes lift from her screen, brows knitted as she focuses on Nate.
“Make sure you find out next week, it'll be good to know. Last thing you want is for them to be sourcing funding for your business and offering out shares... it can get messy and ultimately you could be voted out of your own company by shareholders.”
“How did I not know this?” she whispers.
“Because you've never done this before,” I remind her and her worried gaze locks with mine.
“Do you have the investor’s details? I can do some background checks, see what they're about,” Nate offers and my heart feels giddy.
“I would really appreciate that.”
“Text it all to James and I can get to it on the flight to the Maldives.”
“Okay thank you, Nate,” she begins typing on her phone.
“Always,” he sits a little taller in his chair as he finishes his whiskey before pushing back and standing. “Anyway, I will leave you girls to it. James,” he turns and looks down at me, leaning down and kissing me on the top of the head, lingering for a moment. “I'll see you soon, enjoy the rest of your night ladies,” and with that, he is gone.
“I am so fucking jealous,” Heidi sighs and Brooke nods in agreement.
My lips twist but I stay mute as I take a mouthful of my wine.
We move from where we were sitting and step into the living room, finishing the rest of the white wine.
Falling into easy conversation, I find myself spending the next hour with my friends talking about all my worries about the wedding as well as what is exciting me.
But mainly, I talk about what I am hoping my future will look like with Nate, knowing full well it'll never happen because none of this is real. It'll last for as long as it needs to and once I have done my bit, we will part ways, and I will have a pretty looking bank balance.
But until then, the show must go on.
Whether I wanted it to be a show or not, that's exactly what it was.
Soon, the director will scream ‘cut’ and we will go about our lives.
Maybe I will be lucky enough to bump into him occasionally when I am working with Keaton and Ari.
Or perhaps it would be better not to see him. I know this sounds awful but with any luck, I will be far, far away from New York and finally living out the life I have always wanted.
A farmhouse with a wraparound porch, acres of land and surrounded by animals.
A husband would be nice, maybe some kids, but after this marriage and how I am feeling in this moment, I don't think I could put myself through it. Even though I know it'll be the real deal next time, it didn't seem like a good enough reason to do it again.
I watched at the front door as the girls hailed a taxi, and once I knew they were safely tucked into the back, I locked up and begun to tidy.
When I heard Nate walk into the kitchen, I looked over my shoulder, my eyes roaming up and down his body. Back in those low hung sweatpants and no top and I know I am staring but I can't help it, but I am soon brought back out of my hypnotic state when I hear a smash of a glass.
I fucking dropped the glass while eye fucking my husband.
He is in front of me in four long strides, pushing me back gently as he kneels down.
“Do not move,” he orders in a low but steady voice as he begins to pick up the glass.
I do as he says.
I stand.
With broken glass at my bare feet.
“What had you so distracted?” he asks, and I can hear the playful tone in his voice, a second or two pass before he is looking up at me, a boyish smirk on his face.
“Nothing,” I lie, and he laughs as he pushes to his feet and crosses his arms across his chest.
“Why are you lying, wife? Is it because you were checking me out?”
“Oh my God, no,” I turn away from him and know my cheeks are burning fucking red.
“It's okay baby, you can admit you were eye fucking your husband.”
“I wasn't,” I snap a little too loudly and with a lot more defiance than I would have liked.
Guilty as charged.
“Okay, Little Ember, whatever you say but I know the truth...” he trails off to collect the dustpan and broom and once he is out of sight, I ignore his command to stay still and I run out of the kitchen and to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
I feel humiliated.