Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
JAMES
I wake twisted in the bedsheets, hair wild, skin tingling and as soon as my eyes open, I am searching for Nate but he is nowhere to be seen.
Stretching up, my muscles ache but in the best way. Slowly sitting up, I pull the sheet around my chest and look around the once pristine room. Rose petals are scattered to the floor, the rolled-up swans are now just towels unravelled on the floor, a crumped mess.
Smiling, I look out to the decked area and see the soft, cotton drapes blowing in the warm breeze and that's when I see him.
My husband.
Standing on the edge, in just a pair of cargo shorts and no shirt.
Back muscles on show, hands folded into his pockets, and he somehow seems relaxed, his shoulders are dropped, not as tense.
Stepping from the bed, I drag the sheet with me as I wrap it around my body and cautiously pad out to where he stands.
“Baby?” my voice a little quiet and I watch as he turns, eyes all hazy and glistening at the same time, wide grin on his face when he looks at me, and it's like I am his whole world, and I have never been made to feel that way.
“You looked at me as if I am your entirety,” I glance down at my bare feet, the decked wood warm under my feet, the warm breeze dancing across my skin.
“That's because you are James,” his voice slips through me, shattering me in an instant but not in a bad way, not in the way that would destroy me, but in the best way.
Earth shattering .
He walks towards me, eyes on mine the whole time as he wraps his arm around my back and pulls me close to him.
My hair blows in the soft breeze and his smile drops for just a moment.
“As much as I love you wrapped in the sheets I fucked you on...” he pauses, leaning closer and pressing his lips to my ear, “I don't trust myself around you.” I feel his lips press into a smile, “Plus, my friends are looking.”
I laugh, dropping my head for a moment as I step back and look to my left, then to my right.
Kaleb and Connie one side, Titus and Amora the other.
“That's not because of me bud,” I point my finger at him, a cheeky smirk tugging at my lips, “that's on you, they're not used to seeing you being so affectionate.”
And with that, I turn and walk away, but not before giving him a look over my shoulder, and as soon as my foot is over the threshold and I am out of sight of his friends, I drop my sheet, walking naked into the hut, my laughter growing when I hear the sound of him running but he doesn't have a chance to get to me as I lock myself away in the bathroom to freshen up for lunch.
I was famished.
We walk down to the main restaurant and we're the last ones to arrive. I mean of course we are.
As soon as I was out that bathroom, Nate had me bent over the bed as he fucked me hard and fast, leaving me a quivering mess.
“Nice of you to join us,” Kaleb rolls his eyes as he picks up his menu again.
“He is hangry,” Connie places her hand over his shoulder and gives him a reassuring squeeze.
“I am,” he nods, eyeing us to sit down. Nate lets go of my hand and pulls out the chair for me to sit.
“Where are the kids?” my question is aimed at Ari, Amora and Reese.
“Daycare,” they all give me a smile as they hold their mimosa's up.
“I love your dress,” Connie says as I take my seat.
“Thank you,” I give her a small smile as I look down at myself.
I am wearing a cream, knee length beach dress. It's crochet design and my bikini is visible underneath.
Nate takes his seat next to me and passes me a menu and I glance over it.
I am so hungry.
“Have you ordered?”
Connie shakes her head.
“Wasn't allowed to,” she side-eyes Kaleb. “He wanted to wait for everyone.”
“Well seeing as you gate-crashed our honeymoon I thought it was only right we all ate together on our first day,” and I hear Killian chuckle.
“You're a real ass when you're hungry,” he sucks in air through his teeth just as the server comes over.
“What can I get you?” he asks the table and Kaleb dives straight in and I twist my lips to fight my smile.
Walking down to the communal beach, kids in tow, I hang back with Nate, my hand tucked inside his.
“You okay?” he asks me and I nod, the warm sun beating down on my face. I turn my head to look at him, squinting slightly. I have large, rounded sunglasses on but they don't seem to do shit.
“I am perfect, are you?” I hum.
“Never better,” but I can't help but think he seems a million miles away.
“Sure?” I nudge into him, that's all I seem to manage without the man stiffening like stone.
“Yeah,” he sighs, dropping his head to look at me, “just work on my mind, constantly thinking about Secure Corp.”
I nod.
“Well try and switch off to it for a bit, we are on our honeymoon after all,” I nibble the inside of my lip.
“I will,” he drops my hand and throws his arm around my shoulders, my arm bending as I lock my fingers with his as we walk towards the beach, and I smile a little wider when I feel the sand beneath my toes.
“I can't remember the last time I went to the beach,” I whisper as we follow the crowd, Nate with the beach bag thrown over his shoulder.
“Really?” he asks as if shocked by my admission.
“I was probably about five... we came to visit my grandma, and she took us to long island. We had the best day,” I sighs as we stop, Keaton and Killian putting up large umbrellas whilst Arizona and Reese lay the blankets and towels down before Amora begins unpacking the buckets and spades.
“I don't have a lot of vivid memories with my parents. Sure, I have the beach, first day of kindergarten... but that one always feels a little fuzzy, not sure if I imagine that one up more than a memory,” I take the bag from Nate and busy myself as he stands beside me listening. “Also have one where we were at home, back in New York and this man turned up at the door. I answered it, I remember him being tall, but his face is blurred.” My brows pinch, “I called for my dad, but my mom came forward, tucking me behind her before my dad ushered me into the back room to play...” I snort a laugh, “looking back now, he done it to cause a distraction, but I didn't know anything, I was seven, I was just happy my dad wanted to play with me.”
“That's lovely and sad at the same time,” he says as he gains the attention of a worker and asks for two sun loungers.
“I suppose,” I shrug a shoulder up before thanking the man as he drags it over and laying my beach towel on it. “But it's my final memory, because that was the night they died. Always thought the faceless stranger had something to do with it, but I don't know, he seemed kind. He gave my mom an envelope, my dad seemed happy I think, maybe? I don't know... it's hard to work out what was reality and what was fiction when it comes to memories that old,” I sigh, lifting my dress over my head and laying down on the lounger, basking in the hot sun.
“But yeah, I try and make that a happy memory, even though it had a tragic outcome,” my eyes are closed but I feel his fingers creep down my arm and lock around my fingers.
“I'm sorry James.”
I inhale a sharp breath before I turn to face him.
“Don't be, it's not your fault they died,” I smile at him before facing the sun again, as the heartbreak that I enveloped myself in slowly fades away.