Chapter 5 Auditions & Old Flings #3
Every couple of minutes, she’d lean over and ask me my thoughts or try to see the notes that I was jotting down on each dancer.
I had to stifle a giggle every time she pretended to know what I was talking about when I explained certain things to her about the choreo.
She was intrigued by the way I color-coded certain notes. See, I wasn’t always unorganized.
“Raine,” Dawn whispered after leaning closer once more.
Did I mention that she smelled so damn good? I wasn’t sure if it was her fragrance or the scent of whatever soap she used, but the fruity, fresh scent was a delight. It was calming, but not overpowering. Like a soft spring breeze dancing along the leaves of an apple tree.
“Hm?”
“I never got to tell you, but the choreography you came up with is fire,” she said. “I didn’t even know people could dance to my music like this.”
“Thank you,” I replied, my cheeks warming. “I mixed a few styles because I thought it’d match better with your sound instead of just going with one.”
“I love it,” she nodded. “You’re very talented.”
I smiled, thanking her once more before we turned our attention back right as the next dancer stepped forward.
For the next few hours after that, we watched the choreo be performed over and over, each dancer adding their own little spin.
It made me giddy inside to witness so many people dancing to something I created.
By the time the last dancer had gone, I had compiled a list of my top fifty favorite dancers amongst the group. We took another 30 minutes to deliberate our decision, then called the dancers back in to let them know who would be moving on to the next round.
I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t hard to let so many talented dancers go, because I knew all too well how it felt to give something your all and still not be enough.
Watching some of them break down after not getting picked was enough to make me emotional as well.
I was an empath through and through, so I should’ve known that this was going to be hard.
I just didn’t think it would be this hard.
I was able to hold it together until all of the dancers left the room, then I quickly excused myself and rushed towards the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in the biggest stall and instantly broke down. Maybe Trelyn and my sister were right. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle after all.
If I could cry over something as simple as narrowing down the potential dancers I was going to work with, then how was I going to be able to hold it together when something even worse happened? For a split second, I thought about going out there and telling Dawn I quit.
But just as the thought crossed my mind, anger and annoyance replaced it.
“This is the opportunity you've been waiting for all of your life,” I told myself as I dried my tears. “You have to learn to stop taking things so personally. Think about what you were hired to do, Raine!”
I nod and take a few deep breaths before exiting. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and cringe at how puffy my face is. I splash some water on it and dry it off, hoping that my bloodshot eyes weren’t too noticeable.
Ugh, I wanted to go home.
After one last glance at myself, I exited the bathroom only to walk right into something soft yet sturdy.
They catch me before I fall and pull me into their arms. I almost got whiplash from how fast I went from almost losing my balance to being wrapped in the most comforting hug I’d ever experienced.
“It’s okay to be sad about having to cut people,” the person whispers, and I immediately recognize them as Dawn.
I pull back a bit to look at her, and she smiles softly.
“You’re a sweet person and probably relate to being in their shoes, am I right?
” I nod. “Just think of it this way: one door closing doesn’t mean that all of them will be closed forever. ”
I freeze, shuddering at the coincidence. She notices and lets go, much to my dismay.
“Did I say something wrong?” She asks, genuinely concerned. “It’s like you got the chills or something.”
“No, no!” I frantically said, waving my hands. “You didn’t say anything wrong. It’s just that what you did say caught me off guard. It’s the same thing I’ve been telling myself for years.”
“Really?” She asks, just as surprised as I. I nod. “That’s wild. I’ve only ever heard my dad say it. He’d always tell it to me to cheer me up whenever I lost a talent show or got passed up for a role in the school musical when I was younger. Where’d you hear it?”
“Honestly, the first and only time I ever heard someone use it was back when I was in sixth grade,” I reply.
“I was at the park alone because I was just…having a bad day. As I was swinging, this kid came over with two popsicles they’d gotten from the ice cream truck and offered one to me.
I thanked them, and we ate in silence, but I started to feel better. ”
“And then what happened?”
“Eventually, we started talking, and soon, I was laughing and joking along with her. It was a great time,” I admitted with a smile.
“After about an hour, she asked if I was feeling better, and I told her I was before explaining why I’d been so sad.
She then patted me on the back and told me that quote, which I didn’t understand, but before I could ask, they checked their watch and said they had to leave.
We said our goodbyes, and even though we hadn’t exchanged numbers, I knew I’d never forget that feeling of having someone go out of their way to listen to me and make me feel good.
” I chuckle, shaking my head. “Honestly, you remind me a lot of her.”
“Oooh, what an amazing compliment,” she says, popping her collar. I rolled my eyes playfully. “I’m guessing that quote stuck with you forever, though, right?”
“It did. Not long after that, though, just like they said, another door opened for me, and I won a scholarship to go to the camp I wanted to go to over Winter break that year,” I replied with a smile.
“I didn’t really understand coincidences or signs from the universe back then, but every time I think about that encounter, I realize that that’s exactly what it was. ”
“And that’s when you started to live by the saying,” she chuckled, amused, and I nodded, not an ounce of shame in my body. “That’s cute. Did you ever see the kid again?”
“No,” I shake my head with a sigh. “I went back a few times to see if I’d run into them again because I wanted to share the good news, but it’s almost like I’d imagined the whole thing.
” I chuckle. “Or maybe they were only meant to be in my life for that one moment. Wherever they are, I hope they’re happy and healthy. Oh, but I do have this.”
I turn my bag so she can see the keychain I had attached to one of the zippers.
It was shaped like a star and had the image of Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls.
Her eyebrows furrow before she looks at me in confusion.
I explained that the kid dropped it after they left, and that’s also why I kept coming back, so I could return it as well.
“And I stand by my previous statement that you’re cute as hell,” she chuckles, but nods in approval.
“Whoever the kid was, they sure had taste. Blossom was always my favorite Powerpuff Girl. Actually, I think I had something similar to this when I was younger. Not to brag, but I had all the Blossom merch.”
“I can see that,” I giggle, readjusting my bag on my shoulder. “You give off leader vibes, and you're definitely a bit bossy.”
“Hey, I’m not bossy,” she states, taking my hand in hers as we begin to walk.
I felt my body react to her subtle directness, but I kept my composure.
“I just know how I like shit to be done, and I’m very particular about it…
and I’m a people person, so I’m naturally an extrovert who tends to control the conversation. ”
“Aka, you’re bossy,” I tease. She playfully bumps her shoulder into mine.
“So, let me guess. You’re a Bubbles fan, right?”
“Wrong. I’ve actually always been team Buttercup. I may be cute as hell, but I like to think I’m a tough girl on the inside,” I reply. “I’ve always had to be…”
She doesn’t say anything but nods as we continue to walk towards my car.
When we arrive, I unlock it and toss my bag into the passenger seat before turning around to face her again.
She has her arms crossed and is leaning against the back door.
I walk the few steps until I’m standing in front of her.
A smile stretches across her face as her hands find their way to my hips, exciting me in ways I was too shy to admit right now.
“You don’t have to be tough around me, you know?
” she says softly. “I know we’re still getting to know each other, but I’m not lying when I say that you’re special to me.
I’m trying my best not to sound too cliche, but for some reason, I’m really drawn to you and can’t stop myself from wanting to be in your corner, supporting you. Is that weird?”
“No, I don’t think so, but I’m used to most people saying one thing and doing the opposite,” I admit with a sigh. “You’ve given me no reason to group you amongst them, but I’ve…I’ve been let down a lot in the past, so I can’t help but be a bit skeptical of your intentions.”
“And that’s understandable,” She assures me. “I won’t pressure you into taking things further if you’re not comfortable, but just know that I’ll always be around if you need me.”
“Would you say that we’re friends?”
“Of course,” she smiles.
“Well…” My voice trailed off as I thought about whether I wanted to ask or not.
As much as I wanted to run for the hills, there was something about her that was keeping me right here.
That in itself was grounding. So, after taking a deep breath, I ask, “As your friend, I wanted to ask you if you’d like to join me for dinner tomorrow after the second round of auditions.
I would say today, but my nephew has an art show that I promised I’d attend. ”
Her face lit up, and she blessed me with the most gorgeous smile before pulling me in for another hug. “Of course I’d love to,” she replied. “That’s actually what I’d wanted to ask you earlier, but you beat me to it.”
“I guess we’re on the same wavelength, huh?”
“Ugh, I can already see myself becoming so obsessed with you,” she chuckled, a loving look on her face. She cups the side of my face in her hand and sighs contentedly. “If I fall in love with you, are you gonna take responsibility for that?”
“Of course,” I nod, not breaking eye contact. “Only if you agree to do the same if I fall for you.”
“I got you, gorgeous. Your heart is safe with me. I promise.”
And for some strange reason, I believed her.
I’d never felt so comforted by someone else, and I’d been in a few relationships and situationships in the past. Most of them ended on good terms, but the way I was feeling for Dawn was different than anything I’d ever felt for all of them combined.
It’s the way she was, so gentle with me and cared about what I had to say.
She listened attentively, replied with intent, and made me feel worthy of the affection I received.
I had a feeling that my falling for her was going to happen sooner rather than later.
I just hoped that I was ready for that.