CHAPTER SIX
Zurie Maddox
"Jamie, can you please get JJ dressed while I finish making breakfast? We running late." I hollered from the kitchen, flipping pancakes while trying not to burn the bacon. Not that I expected him to move his lazy ass off the couch, but a bitch could dream.
"In a minute, Z. ESPN just about to show the Lakers highlights," Jamie shouted back, of course he was glued to the damn TV like it was oxygen.
I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out my damn head. Same shit, different day. Jamie Wallace, former college basketball star turned professional bum ass nigga, I always had to wait for him to try and do something useful. Story of my fucking life for the past four years.
"Mommy, I'm hungry!" My baby boy JJ came running into the kitchen, still in his Spider-Man pajamas, his curly hair sticking up in all directions.
At four years old, he was the spitting image of his daddy, all caramel skin, and bright eyes.
That Wallace gene was strong in my baby.
I just prayed to God he didn't inherit Jamie's lazy ass gene.
"I know, baby. Breakfast almost ready," I smiled, lifting him up onto the counter. "Did Daddy help you brush your teeth?"
JJ shook his head. "Daddy watching basketball."
I sighed, trying to keep my frustration from showing. "Well, after breakfast, we gon’ get those teeth sparkling white, okay? Then we gotta get you dressed for daycare."
While JJ chattered about what his friend Malik did yesterday, I finished up breakfast, thinking about how different my life had turned out from what I'd planned.
Four years ago, I was Zurie Maddox, a junior at Central State with a 3.
8 GPA in Business Management, on track for the corporate life my mama never thought I would reach.
Then I met Jamie Wallace at a Central State homecoming party. He was the star point guard with NBA dreams and a smile that made my panties dissolve instantly.
Back then, Jamie had goals and ambition.
When he got a contract to play professional ball in Spain, we thought we had made it.
I put my degree on hold, ready to follow my man overseas and live that basketball wife life.
Then I got pregnant. Then Jamie blew out his knee in his third game. And just like that, the dream was over.
We came back to Chicago with our tails tucked between our legs and a baby on the way.
I finished my degree online while eight months pregnant, determined that at least one of us would have something to show for ourselves.
But Jamie never recovered from that injury, and it was more mental than physical.
Four years later he was still talking about he was gon get back in the league.
"Breakfast is ready!" I announced, carrying plates to our small dining room table. "Jamie, come on so you can eat, the food is on the table!"
I got JJ situated with his pancakes cut into little pieces, his sippy cup of orange juice right where he liked it. Jamie finally sauntered in as I was pouring coffee, still in the same sweatpants he'd worn yesterday.
"It smells good, baby," he said, dropping a kiss on my cheek.
I wanted to be mad, but the flashbacks of old Jamie, the one who used to make my heart race, those memories still got to me sometimes. And to be honest that was my problem. I kept hoping that the man I fell in love with would make a return.
"You working today?" Jamie asked, shoving a forkful of pancakes in his mouth.
"It's Monday, ain't it? Some of us gotta earn a living," I replied, trying to keep my tone light for JJ's sake. My job as an office manager at a real estate firm wasn't glamorous, but it paid the bills.
Jamie's phone rang just as he was about to respond. He glanced at the screen, frowning.
“Whats wrong?” I asked.
"It's My mama. She don’t never call me this early. She usually sleep from her late night shift at the hospital."
"Hey, Ma. What's up?" Jamie's face instantly changed, the color draining from his skin. "What? Nah, ma, don’t tell me no shit like that. When? How?"
I grabbed JJ's attention, trying to distract him from his daddy's distress. "Baby, show me how Spider-Man uses his webs," I whispered, but my eyes were locked on Jamie.
"FUCK!" Jamie stood abruptly, knocking his chair backward. "I'm coming right now. Right now, Ma. Don't move."
He hung up, staring at the phone like it had just transformed into something alien.
"Jamie? What happened?" I asked, my heart racing.
"Gizmo," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Someone killed my brother last night. He got shot outside some gambling spot."
The news hit me like a physical blow. Gizmo Wallace, Jamie's older brother, the one who had been keeping us afloat with plenty of loans and handouts. The one who bought JJ presents when we couldn’t afford too.
The one we relied on because I was too embarrassed to tell my own brother that I was struggling.
Sosa wouldn’t have look down on me, but he wouldn’t hesitate to check me about laying up with a nigga who couldn’t provide.
"Oh my God," I breathed, standing to go to Jamie. "Baby, I'm so sorry."
Jamie's eyes were wild and unfocused. "I gotta get to My mama's house. She's alone. Fuck!" He punched the wall, leaving a dent in the cheap drywall.
JJ's lip started trembling. "Daddy mad?"
I scooped my son up, holding him close. "Daddy's just sad, baby. Uncle Gizmo had to go away, and it's making Daddy very sad."
"I gotta go," Jamie repeated, already heading for the bedroom to change. "My brother's dead, Zu. My fucking brother."
I followed him, with JJ trailing behind me. "I know, baby. I know. Let me call my job, I’ll tell them I can't come in. We can all go to your mom's."
Jamie shook his head, yanking a shirt over his head. "Nah. You take JJ to daycare, go to work. My mama gon’ be surrounded by family soon. It's gon be too much going on over there."
"But I want to be there for you," I insisted.
He paused, finally looking at me directly. The pain in his eyes was so raw it made my breath catch. "I know. But I need to handle this, Z. My brother just got murdered. I need to find out what the fuck happened."
Something in his tone sent a chill down my spine. "Jamie, don't do no stupid shit, don’t forget JJ still needs his daddy."
"My nephew needs his daddy too, but that ain't happening now, is it?" Jamie snapped, grabbing his keys and wallet. "Gizmo gotta a ten-year-old son who's gonna grow up without a father because somebody decided to put two bullets in him."
I set JJ down, kneeling to his level. "Baby, go pick out which shirt you want to wear to daycare, okay? The blue one or the red one."
Once JJ had scampered off, I grabbed Jamie's arm. "Listen to me. I know you're hurting but promise me you won't do anything that'll take you away from us. Your brother was in the streets, Jamie. You know that life comes with risks."
"Don't talk about him like that," Jamie hissed.
"I'm sorry," I said, softening my tone. "You know I loved Gizmo. He was good to us, good to JJ. I'm just scared for you."
Jamie's shoulders slumped, the anger draining out of him as quickly as it had come, replaced by a grief so profound it hurt to witness. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his body shake with silent sobs.
"He was just here yesterday," Jamie whispered against my hair. "he said he was handling some big business deal this week. Now he's gone. Just like that."
I held him tighter, my own tears falling for the complicated man who'd been more of a provider for my son than his own father had been.
Whatever Gizmo did in the streets, he'd loved his family fiercely.
Always made sure his mama had everything she needed.
He made sure Jamie and I didn't get evicted when times were rough. And he treated JJ like a prince.
"I'll call my brother," I said quietly. "Sosa probably knows something."
Jamie pulled back, wiping his eyes. "Yeah, see whats up.
Gizmo always liked Sosa, he used to say that he was one of the few real niggas left out here," I nodded, thinking about my big brother.
Sosa and I had different fathers but the same mother, not that she'd been much of one to either of us.
Me and my brother didn't talk as much these days, with him deep in his own street business, but he always came through when I needed him.
"I'll tell him," I promised. "Now go be with your mom. Call me if you need anything."
Jamie nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead before heading to JJ's room to say goodbye. I watched him kneel down, explaining something to our son in a gentle voice I hadn't heard from him in months. JJ threw his little arms around his daddy's neck, and for a moment, my heart ached.
Once Jamie was gone, I moved on autopilot, getting JJ ready for daycare while my mind raced.
Gizmo's death wouldn't just mean grief for Jamie's family, it could mean financial disaster for us as well.
Without his brother's handouts, how would we manage?
Jamie barely contributed as it was, and my salary only stretched so far.
But that was a problem for tomorrow. Today was for grieving.
I dropped JJ at daycare then sat in my car making calls. First to work, explaining the family emergency. Then to my brother.
"Yo," Sosa answered on the third ring, sounding like he'd just woken up.
"Hey, little brother," I said, my voice cracking slightly. "I just got some bad news.”
“What’s good?”
“Jamie’s brother, Gizmo got killed last night."
There was silence on the other end, then a low whistle. "Fuck. Straight up?"
"Yeah. Jamie just left for his mama's house. I don't know all the details, just that he was shot outside some gambling spot."
"You good? How Jamie holding up?"
"I'm okay. Jamie's a mess. You know how close he and Gizmo were."
"Yeah," Sosa said, his voice tight. "Listen, Zu, I gotta make some calls. This ain't good. Gizmo was connected. His death's gonna cause some ripple effects."