CHAPTER SIX #3
"Speaking of the streets," I said carefully. "Gizmo getting killed last night, just made shit so crazy out here. I know it’s gon get ugly.” The temperature around our table seemed to drop ten degrees. Sosa's face hardened, and Shaunie went very still, her eyes darting between us.
"Yea shit bout to go up," Sosa said flatly. "They gon find the muthafucka who pulled the trigger, you know news in the hood travels fast."
"Jamie's a mess," I continued. "His whole family is devastated. I was just at his mama's house earlier."
Sosa leaned back, his expression unreadable. "And?"
"And? Why you say it like that?” I snapped. “I thought you might care, considering you and Gizmo had business together sometimes."
"Honestly Big sis, Fuck Gizmo," Sosa said with such sudden venom that my mouth dropped open. "And fuck Jamie too."
"Sosa!" I glanced around, lowering my voice. "What the hell? His brother just died."
"And you crying over it like Gizmo was some saint," He shot back. "That nigga was a snake, Zu. Playing both sides, stepping on toes, thinking he was untouchable. The streets got their own way of handling shit."
"That's right," Shaunie chimed in, nodding like she was some kind of street philosopher. "These niggas think this game a joke until it ain't funny no more."
I stared at them both, disgusted by the hypocrisy. "That's rich coming from you, Ma. You acting like you some wise elder now when everybody know you used to be the most snaked out one out here.” Shaunie's eyes flashed dangerously.
"Watch your mouth, lil’ girl. Just 'cause I let you talk slick don't mean I won't check yo’ ass."
"You gon’ check me?" I laughed. "Please, not now or ever, will you ever check me. I’m not a kid anymore Shaunie."
"Man, Y’all chill the fuck out," Sosa cut in, his voice dropping to a quiet tone that was more effective than shouting.
"What's done is done. Gizmo made his bed, but I want you to stay far away from whatever Jamie lame ass might be thinking about doing.
That nigga ain't built for revenge, but I know grief makes people do stupid shit. "
The truth of his words hit me hard. Jamie wasn't street-smart like Gizmo and Sosa. If he tried to avenge his brother, he'd likely end up dead too, leaving our son fatherless.
"Now," Sosa continued, "back to my offer. The starting salary is eighty thousand, plus bonuses. You'll have full creative control over the rebranding, hiring decisions, everything. I just provide the capital and connections."
I nearly choked on my drink again. "Eighty thousand? You serious?"
"Dead ass," Sosa replied. "I need someone I can trust, and who’s smart enough to make this muthafucka pop, and that's you, Zu."
I glanced at Shaunie, half-expecting her to undermine the moment with some smart ass remark. Instead, she was watching me with an expression I couldn’t quite read.
I turned back to Sosa, with my mind already made up.
All my life, I'd been fighting to prove I was more than just another statistic, more than Shaunie Maddox daughter who might follow in her footsteps.
I'd got my degree while pregnant, raised my son mostly alone, maintained a steady job that barely covered our expenses. I truly needed something more.
"When would I start?" I asked Sosa. His smile returned, wide and genuine.
"How's tomorrow sound? We'll close for renovations next week, reopen in a month under the new brand."
"I'd need to give notice at my current job," I said, already mentally drafting my resignation letter. "Two weeks, at least."
"Do what you gotta do," Sosa shrugged. "But the clock's ticking. I need this place transformed before the summer hit."
I nodded slowly, my mind already racing with ideas. A high-end lounge concept, maybe. Something that would stand out from the typical bottle-service clubs. Live music some nights. Food that wasn't an afterthought.
"I'll do it," I said finally, extending my hand across the table. "But I want everything in writing. Contract, benefits, everything."
"Look at you, all professional and shit. Don't worry, my lawyers already drew up the paperwork. You gon be good Big Sis.” My brother knew I would say yes before I did.
"That's my girl," Shaunie said, raising her glass. "Finally using that Maddox blood for something besides looking pretty and making bad decisions about men."
I bit my tongue instead of pointing out that "Maddox blood" was responsible for a lot of funerals in our neighborhood over the years. But some battles weren't worth fighting, especially when I was about to start a new chapter.
"One more thing," I said to Sosa, ignoring our mother completely. "This job can't interfere with JJ. I won't be here until 3 AM every night. I'm a mother first."
"We'll figure all that shit out," Sosa promised. "You can hire an assistant manager to handle the late shifts. I just need you to focus on the business side, building the brand."
It all sounded too perfect, too easy. But after years of struggling, maybe I was due for something to go right.
I finished my drink and stood up, suddenly eager to get home and start planning. "I’m about to get up outta here. I got a lot to think about."
Sosa nodded, standing to hug me again. "I'll hit you up tomorrow. We'll go over the details."
As I gathered my purse, Shaunie looked up at me expectantly.
"What, no goodbye for your mama?"
I looked at the woman who had given me life but little else, who had chosen the streets over her children, who had only shown up in our lives the motherly way once Sosa started making real money, who still couldn't resist taking little digs at me every chance she got.
"See you around, Shaunie," I said coolly, deliberately using her first name instead of "Ma."
Her eyes flashed with hurt before hardening again. "That's how it is?"
"That's how you made it," I replied, turning away before she could respond.
As I walked back through the club, I felt lighter somehow, if running this club meant keeping my distance from Jamie’s mood swings, then I was all for it.
By the time I reached my car, my phone was buzzing with texts from Jamie. I ignored them, I needed space to think, to plan, to dream bigger than I'd allowed myself to in years.
* * *
A week after Gizmo's funeral and the shit still ain't feel real. The service had been a mess, Jamie was drunk before noon, Mrs. Wallace was barely holding it together, and all the muthafuckas from the low end showed up like it was a damn class reunion instead of a funeral.
I was beyond exhausted, running on empty from playing grief counselor to Jamie while still handling my day job, trying to get shit in order for my new position at Clue Bleu all while still having to be a mommy.
It was eight o’clock at night and I was sprawled across my couch, scrolling through Instagram when the front door slammed open so hard the pictures on our wall rattled. Jamie stumbled in with eyes bloodshot red and reeking of Jaimeson and weed.
"The fuck you still doing up?" he slurred, dropping his keys twice before managing to hook them on the wall peg.
"It's only eight," I said, not looking up from my phone. "Where you been at?"
"Out." He kicked off his sneakers, sending them flying across the living room. One hit the TV stand, making me wince. "The fuck it matter to you?"
I bit my tongue. It was no point in arguing with him when he was like this.
Ever since Gizmo's funeral, Jamie had been on demon time, and he showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Thank God JJ was staying with Mrs. Wallace tonight.
That woman might got on my last nerve sometimes when it came to how I handled JJ, but at least she loved her grandson enough to step up when her son couldn't.
Jamie staggered to the kitchen, yanking open the fridge. "I ain't got no more corona’s? What the fuck, Zurie?"
"You drank the last two yesterday," I replied, still not looking at him. "And I ain't had time to go shopping between work, the club, and helping your mom plan your brother's repast that you was too fucked up to help with."
I knew that was a mistake it as soon as the words left my mouth.
Jamie slammed the fridge door shut and was across the room in three unsteady strides. He snatched my phone from my hands and threw it against the wall.
"The fuck you just say to me?" he growled, looming over me.
I stared at my phone, now lying face-down on the floor. The screen was definitely cracked and that was a bill I definitely couldn't afford right now.
"Jamie, I'm too tired to argue wit’ yo’ ass," I sighed, "Just go lay down somewhere can talk in the morning when you sober up."
"Nah." He grabbed my wrist, yanking me up from the couch. "You think you run some shit now because yo’ bitch ass brother put you on to the club scene or something.”
His breath was hot on my face, the smell of liquor making my stomach turn. We'd been through this same argument three times this week already. Somewhere in his drunk mind, he'd decided my new job at the club was me abandoning him, and disrespecting Gizmo's memory somehow.
"I ain't looking down on nobody," I said, trying to keep my voice calm while pulling my wrist free. "I'm just trying to make a better life for JJ."
"For JJ, huh?" Jamie's laugh was ugly, mean. "That's why you out here teaming up with your brother behind my back? You tryna plan your escape while I'm mourning,"
"Behind your back? What the fuck are you talking about? You know it was a business meeting," I snapped, my patience finally breaking. "And don't act like you been mourning shit except the bottom of a bottle." His hand shot out, gripping my face so hard I felt my jaw bones creak.
"Watch your fucking mouth."
I should've shut up then and played it small, I should’ve let him burn himself out like I’ve done so many times before. But I was tired of walking on eggshells, tired of making excuses for a grown-ass man who couldn't get his shit together even for the sake of his son.