CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Ya’Mya
It had been a whole week since I last heard from Trigg. Seven days of calling him, texting him, getting nothing back. Not “I'm good," not a "I'm busy," nothing. Just straight silence like I didn't even exist.
I was sitting in my crib feeling fucked up about it, staring at my phone like maybe if I looked at it hard enough, his name would pop up. But it never did.
I knew some shit went down with his sister Tasha, Kynessa had told me that much, but that didn't mean he couldn't send me one text. One message to let me know he was straight. Instead, he just disappeared on me like I wasn't nothing to him.
Maybe I wasn't.
My phone rang and I snatched it up quick, hoping it was him. But it wasn't. It was Rah.
"Hello?"
"Shorty, what's good?"
"Hey, Rah. What's up?"
His voice sounded tired. "Man, I just... I need somebody to talk to, shorty. BooMan's funeral is coming up and I'm fucked up in the head about it. Can I slide through?"
I hesitated for a second. Rah was cool, but he was still Trigg's boy. Still, he sounded like he really needed somebody, and I knew how close him and BooMan was.
"Yeah, you can come through," I said.
"Bet. I'm on my way."
About thirty minutes later, Rah pulled up. I was sitting on the porch when he got out the car. He looked tired as hell, his eyes were red like he'd been crying or smoking, or both.
"What's good, Ma," he said, walking up and sitting down next to me.
"Hey," I said.
"You good?"
"Nah, I ain't good," he admitted, shaking his head.
"I can't stop thinking about BooMan, bro. Like, we just was together, you know? We was just laughing and talking shit, and now he gone. It don't feel real."
"I'm sorry, Rah," I said softly. "I know y'all was close."
"Man, that was my best friend," he said, his voice cracking. "Since we was shorties. And now I gotta go to his funeral and watch them put him in the ground. I don't know if I can do that shit."
"You can," I said. "You gotta be there for him. He would want you there."
Rah nodded, wiping his face. We sat there in silence for a minute, just looking out at the street.
"Where Trigg been at?" Rah asked suddenly. "I been trying to reach that nigga too. He ain't been answering nobody."
"I don't know," I said, my voice tight. "He been ghosting me for a week. He won't answer my calls, my texts, nothing."
"That's fucked up," Rah said, looking at me. "You don't deserve that. You a good one shorty."
"Apparently not good enough," I said bitterly.
"Nah, don't say that," Rah said, shifting closer to me. "Trigg be on some other shit sometimes. He don't know how to appreciate what he got."
“The same way you didn’t huh?” I asked throwing shade and he smirked.
“Yea and I realize now, that I fucked up letting you walk away.”
I looked at him, and something in his eyes made my heart beat faster. Maybe it was the vulnerability, maybe it was the fact that I was hurt and lonely and he was right here, but I didn't move away when he leaned in. And then his lips were on mine.
I should've stopped it and pushed him back and told him nah, this ain't right. But I didn't. I let him kiss me, let his tongue slide into my mouth, let myself feel something other than the pain Trigg left me with.
Then I heard a car door slamming. We pulled apart quick and I looked up to see Trigg's car parked right in front of my crib. My heart dropped into my stomach.
"Oh fuck," I whispered.
Trigg hopped out the car, and the look on his face was pure rage. His jaw was clenched, his eyes locked on Rah, and I knew some shit was about to pop off.
"THE FUCK IS THIS?" Trigg roared, storming up onto the porch.
"Trigg, wait," I started, but he wasn't trying to hear shit I had to say.
"Rah, you bogus as hell, my nigga!" Trigg yelled, getting in Rah's face. "You dirty as fuck for this!"
"Bro, it ain't even like that…" Rah started, standing up.
Trigg didn't let him finish. He swung hard, his fist connecting with Rah's jaw with a sickening crack. Rah stumbled back and fell off the porch, hitting the ground hard.
"TRIGG, STOP!" I screamed, jumping up.
Trigg stood over Rah, raining blows down on him. His breathing hard, his fists still clenched. Then he turned to me, and the look in his eyes cut me deep.
"Fuck you, bitch," he said, then something in me just snapped.
"Fuck ME?" I yelled back, tears stinging my eyes. "Nigga, FUCK YOU! You don't fuck with me anyways! You disappeared for a whole week without saying SHIT to me! No call, no text, nothing! If you can do that without a word to me, you never gave a fuck in the first place!"
"Man, you don't know what the fuck I been dealing with—"
"I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU DON'T TELL ME!" I
screamed. "You shut me out every time some shit happens! You treat me like I'm just some bitch you keep around when it's convenient! So yeah, Trigg, fuck you! You don't get to be mad at me when YOU the one who stopped giving a fuck first!"
He stared at me for a long moment, his chest heaving, his jaw tight. For a second I thought he was gonna say something, but he didn't. He just turned around, walked back to his car, and got in.
The engine roared to life and he peeled off, tires screeching. I stood there on the porch, tears streaming down my face, my whole body shaking. Rah was still on the ground, groaning and holding his jaw. And I felt more alone than I ever had in my life.