Chapter 23 Rook
ROOK
I glance over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching then knock on the door.
Word got around fast that Camile has moved to the house Normie was supposed to have occupied.
Apparently, there had been some big blowout at Jack’s place, and she’d wanted out from under his roof.
Who could blame her? Jack is fucking terrifying.
I’m a grown-ass man, yet whenever I’m around him, I feel ten years old again.
In my free hand is a bag, and the aroma coming from it makes my stomach growl.
I’m about to knock again when the door swings open, and Camile is standing on the other side, her dark hair caught up in a bouncy ponytail. She’s wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts, with her feet bare, and she looks cute as hell.
I immediately become flustered.
“Oh, hey. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”
She opens the door wider, smiling. “Rook! No, of course not. I’m happy to see you. I wanted to apologize for you getting in trouble earlier.”
“Hell, I should be the one apologizing to you.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says firmly. “Jack is just a dick.”
I find myself glancing over my shoulder again, hoping no one had overheard her saying that, or me agreeing with it.
“Yeah, but he’s the Prez. He gets to make the rules.”
“Not when it comes to me, he doesn’t.”
She puts back her shoulders to make her point, and I try not to stare at the way the action makes her tits jut out. Is she wearing a bra? Her nipples are clearly visible, but I clear my throat and look away.
I hold up the bag. “Anyway, I brought you something to eat. I figured you wouldn’t have much here. Bikers aren’t exactly the most adventurous when it comes to cuisine.”
Her dark eyes brighten, and for the first time I notice how tired she looks. She’s had a rough time these last couple of days. That I can do this small thing to make her happier warms me inside.
“Aw, that’s so sweet of you. You didn’t need to do that.”
I hand her my offering. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I just got you some of everything. There’s fried chicken, and pizza, and noodles, and fries.”
She stares at the bag and then back up at me. “I’ll never eat all that.”
I shrug. “Just throw away whatever you don’t want.”
“I can’t do that. What a waste. No, come in and join me. I bet you could do with something to eat, too. If you haven’t eaten already, of course,” she adds hurriedly.
My stomach growls audibly, betraying me, and she giggles. The sound is like a melody, and I’d give anything to hear it every day... Even your place at the club? a voice says inside my head.
“I’ll take that as a no,” she says. “Now come on in and eat with me. I could use the company.”
Jack has made it clear that he doesn’t want any of us touching her, but surely, he doesn’t mean for us to ignore her completely. The poor girl has just lost her father. She’s away from all her friends. It would be cruel to leave her completely alone.
We head into the kitchen, and she clatters around finding plates and cutlery while I unbag the food.
I remember my manners and empathy and give her my condolences. “I’m sorry about your dad, by the way.”
“That’s okay. He was a bit of a bastard, truth be told. The world is probably a better place without him.”
The bitterness in her tone surprises me. She must notice my reaction as she gives me a tight smile.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out so cold, and I am shocked and upset. But my dad wasn’t exactly the loving type, so it’s kind of tempered by that reality.”
“Tell me about it,” I say wryly. “I barely even remember my dad from before I got tossed into the system.”
We carry our food—both our plates holding a mix of chicken, pizza, and noodles—back into the living room. She has an action movie playing. I’m not sure of the title, but it’s from the nineties with that short guy who was supposedly hot back then.
“I was just a pawn to mine, really.” She takes a bite of pizza, chews, and swallows.
“He was just keeping me all nice for when I finished college and returned home to be married off. I’m surprised he even let me attend college and didn’t just marry me off at eighteen, but I guess some of the men he was considering for an alliance preferred the idea of someone at least a little older. ”
I shoot her a sympathetic smile. “Couldn’t be easy knowing that was your future.”
She shrugs. “Lots of people had it harder. Honestly, I was fine until recently… at least, I thought I was. But then all my friends started meeting their men, and I guess I’ve been kind of…”
She trails off again, so I fill in the word. “Lonely?”
She nods as if to clarify that word to herself. “Yeah, lonely. I’m still lonely. I guess that isn’t going to change anytime soon.”
I nudge her shoulder with mine. “Hey, I’m here now.”
She flashes a smile. “You’re right, that was rude. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean right this moment.”
“It’s okay. I know what you meant.”
I clear my throat and heat warms my face.
I know what she meant because I’ve been lonely my entire life.
I’ve tried so hard to become a part of something, to mean something to someone, and that has gotten me into trouble countless times.
But no matter what I do, I’m always on the outside, practically fucking begging to be let in.
And I’ll do whatever it takes. Just look at what happened at the hazing.
It’s not like I’m morally adverse to shit like that, but I would normally never have done anything so outrageous.
But it had been to join the club, so I’d gone along with it.
I guess I can’t exactly claim that I hadn’t enjoyed it either.
The amount of cum that had been splattered around by the time it was over had proven otherwise.
She sighs. “I am worried about my mom and brother, though. They say they’re somewhere safe, but safe places don’t always stay that way.”
“Is he a younger brother, or older?”
Her expression softens. “Older. We were close when we were small, but not so much now. Leo went to Verona Falls University, same as me, and my other brother, well, he kind of drifted away from us all so I’ve barely spoken with him for a long time.”
“Still, must have been nice to have siblings.”
“Yeah, maybe we’ll all get closer again now that dad is gone. One brother got as far away from us as he could, and the other… well, he was always trying to impress our father, and that wasn’t easy, you know?”
We fall into a comfortable silence and continue to eat.
I keep sneaking glances at her, more distracted by her than I am by the movie, where the short guy is now hanging from a ceiling by some kind of pully system.
Camile is crazy beautiful, and I’m not sure she’s the slightest bit aware of it.
I can’t help thinking of how her hair would feel slipping between my fingers and wondering what her skin tastes like.
“Whew,” she says eventually, putting her hand over her perfectly flat stomach. “I think I’m growing a food baby.”
With a chuckle, I stand and grab her near empty plate from her and carry it into the kitchen.
I return with two glasses of water and retake my seat next to her.
I should probably make my excuses and leave, but I don’t want to give up this spot.
She lifts her bare legs onto the couch then tucks them under her.
The movement brings her even closer, and I have to fight not to put my arm around her.
My heart literally aches with the need to decrease the small amount of space between us.
I wish she’d cuddle up next to me and feel safe enough with me to fall asleep.
“This was really kind of you, Rook,” she says.
“It was nothing,” I reply, but I’m pleased that I did something right for once in my miserable fucking life.
She sits up a little and twists to face me. “Is that your real name? Rook? No, it can’t be. It stands for the rookie, right?”
“My real name is Ryan.”
“Ryan,” she repeats, as though seeing how it sounds on her tongue.
“I like hearing you say my real name. Sometimes, I forget I have one at all.”
She giggles at that. “You forget your own name?”
I consider it for a moment. “It’s like I’m made up of all the pieces everyone else expects me to be. Sometimes I need to give myself a nudge to remember who I am at all.”
Her smile softens into something sadder. “Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. Like you’re so busy being who people want you to be that you forget to check in with yourself.”
We hold each other’s gaze, and my heart stutters in my chest. She sees me.
She really fucking sees me. It takes every inch of my control not to cup her face in both hands and kiss her hard.
My gaze drops to her pretty lips, and they part as she draws a breath.
She can feel this moment, too. I know she can.
If I kiss this girl, I’ll end up fucking her right here on this couch.
Jack will skin me alive and then toss me out of the club, but honestly, it would be worth it.
I’d walk the streets alone, forever, if I could live with the memory of how her body moved beneath mine, and to hear the sounds she makes when she comes.
But Camile stifles a yawn, and I’m once more reminded of everything she’s been through today. She deserves so much fucking better than having me pawing all over her. What she really needed today was a friend, and I’ve tried to be that for her.
Now she’s exhausted, and I need to leave before I do something really fucking stupid.