Chapter 30
CAMILE
Without even bothering to shut the front door properly, I run into the house and into the bedroom, tears streaming down my face. I throw myself facedown onto the bed.
I pillow my face in my forearms and cry with great, wracking sobs that shake through my entire body. Is this what it feels like for your heart to break?
How could Vani say those things? I understand her hurt, though, because if my mom died and then my best friend had feelings for my dad, possibly reciprocated ones, I’d be furious, too.
I never wanted to come between Vani and her dad, yet somehow, even though we’d done our best to stay away from each other, I still have.
What the hell had I expected? I'd wanted him so badly that I lost sight of everything else.
And now Jack's probably going to kick me out of the compound, and if I go back to the college, everyone's going to know why if Vani talks.
I'll be ruined. All the other girls will hate me, and the boys won't come near me. I'll become a pariah.
And that's before I even take into account the possibility that I'm still in danger from Ledger and whoever the fuck killed my dad.
I want to speak to my mom and my brother, find out where they are.
It seems like the only sensible thing to do is go to their safe house and hole up with them.
At least if I'm with them, I'll know I'm wanted.
They love me. They'll accept me. I won't feel like an outcast, no matter where I go, like I do here.
Footsteps catch my attention. Not just one set, but two. Even over my crying, I hear them, heavy and solid. Men's footsteps.
I sense someone in the doorway of the bedroom and raise my head from my hands. Rook and Ace are both standing there with similar expressions—concern mixed with uncertainty.
"Go away," I tell them.
Ace shakes his head. "No can do. Jack sent me after you."
"I don't care. Go away."
"Sorry, Princess, we can't do that."
Rook walks further into the room and takes a seat on the edge of my bed, the mattress depressing with his weight. Ace remains standing in the doorway.
“If Jack sent Ace,” I say to Rook between sniffles, “what are you doing here?”
“I saw you run into the house, and that you were crying. I wanted to check you were okay.”
I sniff again and shake my head. “You’ll only get in trouble for being here. I’m not worth the headache, trust me.”
He places his hand on my back and rubs in soothing circles. “You are definitely worth the headache, Cami. I promise you are.”
I dissolve into tears again. Someone being nice to me when I’m upset has always only made me cry more. I hide my face again, but Rook’s firm, warm hand continues to rub my back.
“Shh,” he says. “It’s all going to be okay.”
It’s easy for him to say that, but how is it going to be okay?
I can’t possibly stay here after what’s happened.
I remind myself that I never wanted to be here in the first place, but I guess over the past few days, the compound has grown on me.
The men it contains, too. Even though, as far as I can tell, I have no choice but to leave and go to my mom and brother at the safe house, I’m going to miss them all.
I’d thought the raucous and sexual shenanigans of the clubhouse and the bikers would be too much for me, but turns out I’ll miss that, too.
I’ve had more of a sexual awakening over the past few days here than I’ve had during all the years I’ve spent at college.
I roll over and sit up, wiping my face. “It’s not, though, Rook. Nothing is okay.”
I think of how much I’m going to miss them all, and fresh tears come. How can I possibly still be crying? I’m going to end up a dried out old husk at this rate.
“Everyone hates me,” I mumble, feeling pathetic.
“No, they don’t,” Rook says softly. “We don’t hate you. Not at all.”
He cups my face, his thumbs brushing away my tears.
Our eyes lock, and the atmosphere changes between us.
I catch my breath, expecting him to pull away, to say we shouldn’t, but he remains as caught up in this moment as I am.
His hands are warm and dry and firm, and I wonder if they’re the same hands I felt on me last night.
I had never considered it to be Rook, though I’m not sure why.
I guess I thought he was too sweet, but from the heat passing between us right now, I think I was wrong about that.