Chapter 17 #2
“Jake?”
“He’s Jack’s nephew. We brought him up. Never could have children of our own for some reason, so we’d pick up any loose strays we could find. You have about twenty-seven cousins. I may have lost count.”
“Including Jake?” She felt like Alice after she’d gone through the looking glass, lost in a crazed world where dead women walked and nothing made sense.
“Well, not by blood, of course. That was my past, and there’s no way to change the past You can only change the future.”
“That’s what my mother said.”
“Where is she, by the way? I haven’t seen her since Jake dropped me off here this morning. I was looking forward to meeting Alex.”
“She sent him away.”
“Silly fool,” Lou said with asperity. “I thought she was smarter than that. He’s a good man.
She shouldn’t let him get away a second time.
Ridley and Elda were too much for Mary to fight back when you were born.
They’d already lost me, and they thought if they convinced Mary to get rid of Alex she would remarry befitting an Abbott.
They were wrong, of course. She never stopped loving him. ”
“She’s gone after him.”
“Well, thank goodness,” Lou said tartly. “Now we just have to figure out how to drum some sense into you. I was sure by the time I showed up here you’d have dumped your fiancé and fallen for Jake. He was my final wedding present for you.”
“Fallen for Jake? You mean this has all been some crazy matchmaking scheme? I can’t stand the man—he drives me crazy. What makes you think I could ever fall in love with someone like him?”
Lou’s smile was full of ancient wisdom. “Instinct A gypsy in Bulgaria. A shaman in Zaire. A wise woman in Thailand. They all said you two were made for each other.”
“New-age crap.”
“Old-age crap, my dear. Wisdom from an age far greater than yours. So you’re going to tell me you don’t care about Jake?”
“Not in the slightest.”
“And you usually spend the night before your wedding having sex with people, you don’t care about?”
“Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t have to. I could tell by that dazed look in his eyes, by the love bite on his throat and by the tone of his voice when he said your name.
He’s been a son to me, and I know him better than he knows himself.
He’s in love with you, like nothing he’s ever felt before.
And it looks like you’ve decided to break his heart. ”
“He left me!”
“Pooh! Men leave all the time. If they love you they come back. Do you mean to tell me you threw away love because you’re a coward?” Lou rose to her full height looking very stern. “Haven’t you learned anything from the last few days?”
“You know what happened?” Susan gasped.
Lou’s ancient gorgeous face creased in a smile. “You had a dream, Susan. A strange, wonderful dream. And you had it for a reason. Don’t ignore the lessons it taught you.”
The grandfather clock struck six, a somber tolling, and for a moment Susan was back in the old house, listening to the clock chime her life away. She looked across at the elegant old woman. “Where is he?”
“You know where he is. The ship has a different name, but the berth is the same. You can find him if you hurry.”
“I can’t?—”
“Of course you can. All you have to do is want to.”
“My mother took my car. And I need to change my dress?—”
“No time, my dear. I brought your cousin’s car—you have just about enough time to jump in and drive into Manhattan before the ship leaves. It still has a manual transmission, but I’m sure you can handle it.”
“What cousin?” she demanded, confused.
“Todd Abbott. He’s aged well, the little charmer. I borrowed his Miata—you can drive it into the city and leave it there. He probably won’t appreciate losing another car, but I imagine he’ll get over it.”
“He didn’t die? But I thought you couldn’t change the past?”
Lou’s smile was enigmatic. “Sometimes we’re given blessings.
” She crossed the room and took one of Susan’s hands in her strong, gnarled grip.
She pulled her up with surprising force for someone so thin, and for a moment, in the shadowy room, she looked exactly like the reflection Susan had seen in the mirror.
Young and strong and beautiful. “Get a move on, girl. It’s a family tradition. ”
“But what if he doesn’t want me?”
Aunt Lou snorted. “He’s not that stupid. You need to make a leap of faith, or you’ll deserve to live your life with a broken heart.”
She looked at her aging aunt. “Didn’t I just do this a couple of days ago?” she asked plaintively.
Lou laughed. “You had a dream, Susan. Time to wake up and live.”
The traffic on the Merritt Parkway was horrendous on a Saturday afternoon, but at least the Miata came equipped with powerful air-conditioning. She drove like a race car driver, fast and dedicated, but it was still close to eight o’clock by the time she crossed the George Washington Bridge.
She’d never been in the docks of Manhattan except in her dream, but they didn’t look as if they’d changed much in the past fifty years.
There was no place to park, but she didn’t care.
She simply left the car, keys inside, and grabbed her suitcase in one hand, her satin train in the other, and headed toward Pier 18.
The Barbara K. didn’t look much newer than the Lizzie B. The night was dark around her, and this was hardly the safest section of Manhattan, and if she had any sense at all she’d run back to the car and get the hell out of there.
But she had no sense. The time for smart choices was over. It was time to lead with her heart.
A leap of faith, Aunt Lou had said. And surely Jake Wyczynski was worth it.
The sense of deja vu was so powerful she almost felt dizzy with it She found her way to Jake’s cabin with no arguments from the busy crewmen, and she found it empty, with a wide bunk, not too dissimilar from the room where Tallulah had spent her honeymoon.
She sat down to wait.
She wondered what she’d do if the boat left before she had a chance to see him. To make sure he really wanted her. But she already knew the answer to that. She’d wait.
He came back to the room just as the Barbara K. started but into the harbor. His shirt was unbuttoned and pulled loose from his jeans, his expression was bleak, and he didn’t even see her when he first walked in.
“Surprise,” she said in a soft voice.
All expression left his face as he stared at her. He kicked the door shut and leaned against it, not moving. “I can’t give you what you want,” he said finally.
She rose to her knees, the wedding gown pooling around her in the wide bunk. “What do you think I want?”
“Safety. A fancy house in the suburbs, a husband who wears three-piece suits. Two imported cars in the garage, a stock portfolio and an HMO.”
“What makes you think I want that?”
“Why else would you marry someone like Edward?”
“I didn’t marry him.”
“No, I guess you didn’t When did you decide that?”
“Last night.”
“But you told me?—”
“I know what I told you. You annoyed me.”
He had a beautiful mouth, and it curved in a wry smile. “A young woman of my acquaintance told me I can be very annoying. Of course, two hours later she was in bed with me, so maybe I should take that with a grain of salt.”
“Maybe some women find annoyance to be an aphrodisiac.”
“I don’t stay put you know. I wander from one place to the next I’m like Loa and Jack—I don’t like settling down for too long.”
“All right.”
“I don’t care about money or possessions. Sometimes I’m broke, sometimes I’m rolling in cash. I have a gift for making money, and a gift for spending it I don’t worry about the future, I just take each day as it comes.”
“All right’”
“The only family I have left, the only family I care about is Aunt Louisa.”
“I drought you had twenty-seven brothers and sisters.”
“She told you that? I do. I call ’em the horde. We all get along well enough, though most of them are more settled than I am. When did you see Lou?”
“She told me to come after you.”
“Are you always so obedient?”
“When I want to be.”
“So what do you want from me?”
It was that simple, and that difficult She pushed her hair back from her face and took a deep breath.
“I want you to love me,” she said. “I want you to love me as much as I love you.”
He didn’t even blink. “Impossible.”
“Impossible?” she echoed, her heart collapsing.
“There’s no way you could possibly love me as much as I love you. I’m out of my mind for you. Demented, obsessed, crazed, and tempted to buy you that damned house in the suburbs and join a firm of stockbrokers. You could never even begin to understand how much I love you.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
He looked shocked, as if he’d just realized the ramifications of it all. The ship was steaming down the Hudson River, and she was kneeling in his bed, looking up at him with her heart in her eyes.
“Yeah,” he said, wondering. “You’re here.”
She looked around her. “Where are we going?”
“Does it matter?”
“No. Not as long as I’m with you.”
He took a breath, and it was almost painful. “The ship’s headed for the coast of Spain then on to Africa. I was planning on leaving there and going across country.”
“Will you take me with you?”
He touched her then. Crossed the cabin and put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her up against his smooth, hot chest. “Yes,” he said. “And I’ll never leave you.”
She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him, her heart in her mouth. “Help me take off this damned wedding dress,” she whispered, “and I’ll never let you go.”
And he did.