Chapter 14 The Long Way Home （Kane） #2
She shrugs lightly. “I feel old sometimes, but also clueless. You’re way more grown-up with a family to look out for.”
“Yeah. Thought I knew everything there was to learn the day they were born. Like hell.” I rest my chin on top of her head, and she slides against me.
It’s insane how easy this feels, like we’ve been doing it for years instead of days.
“So what happened? How?” she whispers.
“It was practically arranged. I was young, fresh out of the Army, still at the height of my hockey career. Hell, if anything, the time overseas made me a hotter commodity. Everybody wanted Kane Saint. On paper, Daria was the perfect daughter of a family friend. She was vetted, future eye candy for the cameras.”
“Cameras?” She shakes herself. “Hockey, you mean?”
“Hockey, then politics. My father had it all mapped out, and I was too inexperienced to say no to it. He never went higher than his House seat in government and he wanted me to live his dream.”
“It’s hard to say no to that kind of pressure,” she says like she understands. Maybe she does, being a Blackthorn and all. “What did he want you to do?”
“Everything. Taking his old House seat and then sliding into the US Senate, for starters. After that… who knows? He wanted to be Joe Kennedy, only he just had one son to groom for office.” I laugh, but there’s a bitter edge to it.
“I had a taste of that world early. Figured out fast I’d rather chew glass than go into politics and serve shady fucking interests, always lying through my teeth and pretending I work for anybody else. ”
She takes a moment to digest it, her expression pensive in the faint light from the windows.
The sun set with the rain a while ago. Frogs and crickets fill the night with their songs.
“Were you married by the time you knew you didn’t want a political career?”
“Unfortunately.” I run my hand through her soft hair, absently rubbing it between my fingers. “Daria was with me for my status, my potential. Just like I was with her for pretty photos, and I guess my lack of ambition was the last straw.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t regret anything. Without her, I wouldn’t have my kids. They’re the reason I finally slammed the door on politics, you know. So I could spend more time with them. And when I got hurt and had to retire…”
“I read about that,” she murmurs, her arms winding around my neck tighter.
“She was a model who put her career first. You do the math. I was turning into the sort of man she never would’ve married. The kind of guy who knew his limit and who stops chasing fame and power once he’s had a taste. No surprise, she was done with me. Shit, with all of us.”
“That’s not fair. She had kids—she should always put them first.”
“You’d think,” I whisper, tucking her hair behind her ear. Unlike Daria, Margot’s beauty looks effortless, and it makes her more appealing.
“It must have been brutal.”
“It was a lot of change. Hard to stay focused on what matters sometimes for sure. And not everyone was on board.”
“Your dad?”
“Furious. I threw away the future he’d planned out down to the last detail, the war chest of money he’d raised and everything else.
You already know how Daria felt. After hockey, I chose a start-up instead of jumping into the primary for the open seat in Congress.
Our marriage went from checked out to total shit real fast, and I’m not sorry.
I can’t be. We never should’ve gotten married in the first place. ”
“But then you wouldn’t have the twins,” she reminds me.
For a second, I just stare at her.
Awestruck because she listens.
“That’s why I don’t regret the disaster. How can I? Without Dan and Sophie, I don’t have a clue who or what I’d be.” Though there’s plenty I wish I’d done differently, yes.
I never should’ve wasted so many years entertaining what other people wanted, trying to jam their enormous square dreams through the smaller round hole of mine.
“Did you ever love her?” Margot hesitates, like she’s not sure she wants an answer.
“I thought I did once. Before I knew any better or knew what kind of person she was. But now, looking back… I don’t think I ever did. She certainly never loved me. If it’s love, you don’t fucking cheat. Not hard.”
“That’s so shitty.” Her eyes glisten, and she makes a little sigh of agreement.
“It was. But it’s not so bad now. I’m not limping around wounded or anything. I’m just glad to be out of there.”
“My ex cheated, too,” she says.
I instinctively pull her closer.
“Tell me his name and I’ll make sure he’s sorry.”
She laughs.
“No need—he’s not with me, so that’s payback enough.
He actually thought I’d just forgive him because how was he supposed to limit himself to ‘only one person’?
Jackwad. Like it was no different than morning coffee.
” She laughs bitterly, then shrugs. “I thought I’d be heartbroken forever, but I’m doing pretty well these days. ”
“You’re better off without him, duchess. No question.” I can’t control the jealous thorns in my voice.
“That’s what I realized. And I hope you did, too.”
“Definitely,” I say. “Daria was a drag on my life.”
“But you shouldn’t keep blaming yourself for her behavior,” she tells me now, leaning in to kiss my neck, soft lips fluttering against my skin. “Everyone makes mistakes, and you did the right thing. You put your kids first.”
As I hold her, I wonder if I’m doing anything right now.
Falling for this strange woman who drips false promises like honey, bringing her around my kids, knowing there’s no future.
If only she didn’t feel this good.
If only I could think in her presence.
She says I put my kids first, but hooking up with her is a time bomb.
When it explodes, I won’t be the only one mangled in the wreckage.
Sophie, she’s already on her way to worshipping Margot Blackthorn and her talents. Dan, he’s brighter than ever with a woman around who listens, taking his jokes in stride and throwing them back.
They like her so much they’re welcoming her into our little family unit without question.
Hell, Sophie even went to her alone and asked if she could help with her deepest, darkest fear.
Not me.
Margot.
What the fuck am I doing?
I don’t even know if I’m cut out for another relationship.
I thought I’d spend years licking my wounds after finalizing the divorce, and I swore off women entirely. Everything was easier that way.
Now?
Now, I’m the asshole making it hard.
She feels the way I tense and she leans back, looking up with questions in her pretty eyes.
We’ve never talked about what this is, what I’m doing with her, and those words feel crushing.
But I also feel her studying me, asking without uttering a single word.
I wish I had answers.
I’m just as stranded in the dark as her, stumbling around.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I admit roughly. “Even if it’s just for another week or so.”
“Hey, me too!” Her fingers graze my cheek, gentle enough to make me shiver.
Neither of us needs to mention what happens after that.
Prowlers or not, we already know.
We have lives to get back to.
Lives too complicated for a random wildfire that can’t keep burning forever.
Goddammit, though, I don’t want to put it out.
I don’t want her with any man who won’t cherish her like gold.
I don’t want her to settle for another fuckboy—or worse, an arranged marriage based on money or status or value proposition.
She smiles up at me, soft and reassuring, breaking through my haze as she stretches on her toes.
I sweep her closer, pinning her against me as I kiss her so reverently I try to forget the fuckery that’s happened today.
Here, there’s only room for two beating hearts.
There’s just duchess, me, and an F5 spinning heartache.
She’s so soft, so sweet, but for once I’m not desperate to haul her off to bed and fuck her this instant.
This is enough right now.
More dangerous, maybe, because this kiss says a lot of the things I can’t put into words right now. And I can’t avoid the tenderness.
Not when she’s whisper-soft and it tastes like we’re signing a secret pact in quiet, lingering kisses.
This thing with her is unholy.
This thing will skin me alive when it ends.
Until then, I mean every silent word ensouled in my lips.
I’m damn grateful she’s with me, and I get to stay in this house, protecting her from lunatics.
Predictably, just as the heat creeps to my balls, the door flies open behind us and Dan comes bounding onto the porch, followed by Sophie. They both laugh at catching us in the act.
“Seeee?” Sophie croons. “I knew they’d be doing it.”
“Hey.” I don’t let Margot go even though she jerks back from me. There’s no point pretending we weren’t just kissing when we’ve been busted by these nosy little hounds. “What are you two doing?”
“We finished our homework!” Dan says smugly. “Sophie said you guys would be doing it. So I had to come and see.”
“You’re too young to know what that is, little man, and too old to not understand the concept of privacy.” I snort loudly.
“Kissing!” Sophie supplies, her face red. “That’s what he means.”
Margot giggles, one hand covering her mouth, and I can’t help the smile that sneaks out.
The rest of the day’s woes fade as I grab my son in a headlock and ruffle his hair until he’s begging for mercy.
“Dad! Dad, no! I swear I won’t mess with you again. It was Sophie’s idea!”
Big promises from a boy who loves drama more than a seventy-year-old barfly.
“Okay, you two,” I say. “Now that you’re done sneaking around, how about a movie?”