24. Declan
Declan
M y hoodie acts as a barrier between me and the chilly brick, watching all the foot traffic leaving the hotel on the way out for the evening. I cross my arms over my chest, my stress levels rising the longer it takes for Lily to appear.
Watching my wife flirt with that slick-looking motherfucker has been a new level of hell.
It’d taken everything I had not to march over and force myself between them, knowing Lily wouldn’t appreciate the move.
As it is, letting her know I’m even here in the first place is risky, but the incessant need in me to make sure she’s safe won’t let me just duck out.
She comes out then, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling.
She looks… happy, and I hate that I’m about to ruin it.
She glances at the street and then shuffles backwards towards me, dipping her hand into her bag and pulling out her phone.
She’s staring down at the thing, completely unaware of her surroundings, and I scowl.
“You need to take better care of yourself.”
She jumps and whirls around, her expression already hard and icy when her eyes land on mine. “What the hell are you doing here, Declan?” she snaps out. “Are you taking up stalking now?”
My lips tip up, but the smile slips away almost immediately. “ I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” It seems like she might soften, but then her shoulders go up and her lips press together.
“That’s not your place anymore.” It’s a stern reminder, acting like an arrow straight to the chest. I rub my palm against my sternum, feeling the press of metal dragging against my skin.
I shake my head. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“That’s exactly how it works.” Her brow furrows. “And why is it I’ve now seen you twice in one day, when I haven’t seen you in two weeks?”
“I was trying to give you space, Lily. It’s what you asked for, right?” I ask, and her face goes red and tight. Something flashes through her eyes before she shuts it down, leaving me wondering what her reaction is about. “You got my gifts, right?”
She smiles, but it’s not a friendly one. “Oh, you mean the pink roses? Yeah, I got them—a perfect reminder of the wedding that should never have happened.”
I breathe out a quiet fuck . “I didn’t think…I just knew they’re your favorite.”
“ Were ,” she corrects, her mouth pinched tight. “They were my favorite. I guess it’s just something else you’ve ruined for me.”
I’m not sure how to answer that, but I’m saved when she shivers, her jacket too lightweight for the rapidly cooling evening.
“You’re cold,” I point out and she obviously restrains herself from saying ‘duh’ , although her expression doesn’t quite follow the plan. I bite back a smile, accepting that this new steely side of her is going to take some getting used to.
“Let me give you a ride home.”
Her mouth twists to the side, nose scrunching, like she can’t imagine anything worse than sitting in a car in close confines with me. Considering I’d made her come just hours earlier, it’s a hefty blow to the ego.
“Please, Lily.” I push off the wall, taking a step towards her. “It’s just a ride. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
It’s another minute, and more shivering, before she nods, gesturing for me to lead the way.
By the time we’re in the car, her teeth are chattering and I turn on her seat warmer and blast the heater.
As I turn the car in the direction of her place, I can’t stop myself from constantly checking on her.
She keeps her eyes firmly planted out the window, pretending I’m not there.
When I can’t stand the silence any longer. “How was your, uh, date?”
A sharp burst of air and then, “Are we really doing this?”
I tighten my hands around the steering wheel until it creaks. “When you said you were going on a date, I thought…” I shrug but then stop half-way through, so it’s more of a shoulder twitch. “I thought it might be with Justin.”
I brake at a red light, chancing a glance her way. The streetlights cast an eerie glow on her face, but I can’t read her expression. “Justin,” she echoes quietly, and I nod. “Why?”
A little thrown by the question, my answer is hesitant. “You’ve been spending time together lately, and I thought…”
“That I must be fucking him,” she fills in.
My mouth pops open at the crude language, the tone not fitting with the woman I know. “No, that’s not?—”
“Guess it’s fair,” she says, talking right over me. “Considering I thought you were fucking Silvia.”
A horn blasts behind us and I look forward, finding the light green. I ease my foot onto the accelerator, mind racing with the way this conversation has turned. “I’ve never thought of her like that,” I reiterate firmly.
“So, you call everyone ‘sweetheart’ , then?” She flicks a frosty glance my way, impatience stamped across her face, and I grimace.
I’ve been waiting for this argument, except I still have no good excuse for it.
Lily doesn’t want to hear that the endearment became something of a habit, especially when it was one I used for her.
It had nothing to do with Silvia, or the words even meaning something.
And it shames me to admit that I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong until a week ago, when I’d used the same endearment on a young barista in a coffee shop.
The girl had practically formed cartoon hearts in her eyes, turning into a blushing, stammering mess.
She’d knocked two coffees over before managing to give me my drinks.
She seems to realize I’m not going to answer, and shakes her head. “I don’t know why you’d feel that way about Justin,” she finally says, circling back. “He’s just a friend. One I’ve known for years.”
“Except he wasn’t your date,” I remind her lightly.
My heart skips a beat when her eyes soften. “No, he wasn’t,” she murmurs.
I suck in a breath. “You won’t run me off, Lily. No matter how many dates you go on, or however you choose to punish me. I’m not going anywhere.”
She blinks, her eyes crystalizing into ice. “You still haven’t figured it out, Declan,” she says tonelessly. “This isn’t about you.”
She turns her head with finality, and the silence between us is strained as I finish making our way to her place. In the driveway, I make no moves to get out of the car. I promised just a ride and I’m sticking to it, needing her to know she can trust my word.
For several seconds, she doesn’t move, her hands folded primly in her lap and I clench mine, sensing she’s about to drop something on me I won’t like.
“Did you receive the court summons?”
I grind molars, staring at the dark house. “Yes.”
“We’re to appear before the judge in two weeks.
” I let out a small hum of acknowledgement, biting my tongue to stop anything else from coming out.
“I think maybe we shouldn’t see each other again until then,” she says softly, but there’s a resolute undertone that lets me know it’s not negotiable.
“Today—” I look over when she bites the words off, her expression contemplative as she rolls her lips inward.
“I don’t regret what happened. Not because it was you, but because it felt good, and I’m not going to deny myself that.
” Well, that fucking stings. “But it makes things complicated, especially if you start stalking my dates.”
“I wasn’t stalking you,” I grumble, subtly pressing my palm against my shoulder, feeling the sting of her bite she’d left earlier, using the pain to ground me.
“Stop sending me things,” she orders, and I frown. “Sending me flowers or chocolates or whatever, it doesn’t erase what you did, Declan.”
I sigh, slumping down. “I’m trying here, Lily. I’m trying to give you everything you’re asking for, but I can’t…I want to give you what you ne ed and I’m toeing the line as well as I can, but I can’t just step away from you.”
She nods, considering that. “You said you’d give me the annulment.”
“I did,” I admit sourly.
“So, I’ll agree to talking once it’s done, but I won’t promise that it’ll change anything.
” She doesn’t wait for a response, opening her door and getting out of the car.
Before she shuts it, though, she bends down and her blue eyes meet mine, shining in the interior light.
“No more stalking, Dec,” she reprimands gently.
“I don’t want you to see something that might hurt you. ”
With that warning ringing in my ears, she shuts the door and walks away, leaving me sitting in the dark, my chest aching and fists clenched.
Before I can decide between storming her house and refusing to leave or going home and drinking myself into oblivion, my phone rings.
I put it to my ear without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Oh, thank god you answered, Declan.” My mother’s panicked voice fills my ear, making me sit up straight, immediately imagining the worst.
“What is it? What happened?”
She lets out a choked sob. “It’s your father. He’s been arrested!”
I stare at a spot on the wall, replaying the fuckfest of an evening on repeat. It’s not that I wasn’t expecting my father’s arrest, but having it land right after it felt like Lily had eviscerated me was brutal.
I don’t want you to see something that might hurt you.
“You moved in here when you got back from Hawaii, right?”
I look over at Darcy as she looks around the living room, gaze landing pointedly on the stacks of boxes pushed back against the wall. “What’s your point?”