Chapter Twenty-Four
The ruined face of the murdered man haunted Michelle as Zachary drove them back to Lavinia’s apartment.
Could it be possible that he had been a relative of hers, however distant?
Why was someone trying to kill them? Was there some kind of family secret she knew nothing about, a birthright that had drawn a killer to them?
More than ever, Michelle’s parentage felt like a gaping hole, a blind spot in which danger had festered.
Had she been na?ve? Had she been too trusting that nothing more sinister than a chronic illness or two had been lurking in that part of her heritage, such as a possible tendency towards high blood pressure or eczema?
They arrived at the apartment much too quickly. Lavinia brought them upstairs, letting Zachary go in ahead. Without a word, Michelle hugged Lavinia, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “I’m scared,” she said, her voice muffled by Lavinia’s shoulder.
“I know,” Lavinia said, stroking the back of her head. “We will get him, whoever he is. You’ll be safe here, and Zachary will keep you company. I’ll text when we have any news.”
“Okay,” Michelle said. She forced herself to let go of Lavinia. A part of her wanted to stay in her arms forever, to shut out any of the fears and anxieties of the real world. In her arms, everything was as it should be.
Lavinia kissed her gently. Michelle leaned in hungrily, grasping at the comfort of Lavinia’s lips against hers.
“I—” she said, starting a sentence without knowing how it would end.
Before she could sift through her confused mind to find out what she had meant to say, Lavinia gave her a final kiss and was gone.
Michelle stood by herself for a minute, feeling like she had missed an opportunity to say something important. Something that could change both of their lives.
“Would you like some tea?” Zachary called from the kitchen, releasing her from her paralysis.
“Yes, please,” she answered, walking into the room. All that was left for them was to wait. Wait for the seconds and minutes and hours to pass while the vampires risked their lives, hunting a vampiric serial killer with magical powers. She needed the strongest pot of tea she could find.
“It will be fine, you know,” Zachary said, glancing at Michelle.
She must be radiating worry right about now.
Her nerves practically vibrated with nervous energy.
She couldn’t bear to sit, so she rummaged through Lavinia’s cupboards looking for some mugs.
“I know this must seem terrifying, but they do this kind of thing all the time.”
The image of Lavinia in her body armour covered in gore rose before Michelle’s mind’s eye.
The wound that had torn through her scalp, the bright bruises against the pale skin of her thigh.
Lavinia might be a warrior, used to running headlong into danger, but that was not a comforting thought at all.
All Michelle wanted was for her to be safe.
Instead, Lavinia was out there right now, trying to find someone who had killed a dozen people already and was somehow able to send demons to their doorstep. Lavinia was a hero, sure, but right now Michelle wished with all her heart that she wasn’t in need of one.
The cupboards were as bare as Michelle had expected, their gaping depths somehow depressing her even further, and it didn’t take long for them to find the mugs and teaspoons.
Their emptiness only reinforced the feeling of absence of Lavinia, that sweet steady presence that felt so natural, so right.
It was terrifying to think that they could be torn asunder, that Lavinia might not return from their hunt.
She tried to shake these thoughts from her mind.
“What is it like, working for them?” she asked instead, sitting on the edge of an armchair.
Zachary had sunk into the sofa, his legs outstretched, crossed at the ankles.
Michelle envied his coolness and ease. It stood in stark contrast to the anxiety coursing through her.
Still, it might be hours of waiting. She would drive herself crazy if she dwelled on it too much.
“It is both magnificently mad as well as surprisingly mundane,” he said.
“It’s hard to explain. It’s easy to forget that they’re not human.
They look like us. Talk like us, for the most part.
They eat, and sleep, and are flesh and blood like us.
But at the same time, they can suddenly seem incredibly different, almost alien.
They’ve got their own culture, their own customs, many of which make absolutely no sense to me.
They’re intensely hierarchical in a way that feels like a thing of the past. But that’s it, isn’t it?
It’s not even that far in the past for them.
Many of them knew my great-great-grandfather and talk about him like he died only a couple of years ago. Probably feels like that to them.”
“Has your family been with them for that long?” Michelle asked, surprised.
“A couple of centuries, I think. Should ask Octavia, she’s really into history.
Or Vesta, she never forgets anyone’s family tree.
” He took a sip of his tea. “It becomes a way of life. We’re not bound to them in any formal sense.
I don’t want you to think we’re forced to serve them or anything like that.
” He flashed a brief smile. “No oaths of blood or anything that exciting. They’re generous, though.
Paid for my university education, and that of my sister.
Got my grandma the very best care available, no questions asked.
Dad’s slowing down a lot now as well, so although he is supposed to be the groundskeeper, Lucretia has been gently pushing him to take on more help.
I could leave, get a different job, whatever.
But I don’t know, there is something about working for the Sisterhood.
It’s not just that they’re vampires, or that they’re richer than anyone else I’ve ever met.
There is something incredibly magnetic about them.
I feel a bit like a moth drawn to a flame, sometimes.
They shine so brightly, so brilliantly.” He shook his head.
“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. You must think I sound crazy. ”
“No, not at all,” Michelle said. “Actually, I know what you mean.” They shine so brightly.
He was exactly right. Michelle herself had been caught up in it so quickly, so easily.
She had let herself be carried off into their household, had accepted their judgement on what was best for her.
Had been star-struck by Lavinia: not just by her beauty, or her courage.
There was a quality to her—somehow, she was like any other person, but more.
Zachary studied her for a moment. “Lavinia really likes you, you know.”
A blush crept along her cheeks. It was embarrassing to talk about Lavinia like this, almost like she was a teenage crush. “I like her too.”
“I’m not sure you understand. She adores you.
She would kill for you, cut down anyone that even dared to stand in your way.
” He was quiet for a beat, looking for words.
“Lust comes easily to vampires. They have no qualms about gender, mostly, and often have an endless string of bedfellows whenever it suits them. They’re a lot less inhibited about that, is what I’m trying to say.
“Lavinia is different, even among her Sisters. She holds herself away from those kinds of things. I have no idea why, and it’s not really any of my business.
I just want you to know that I have seen how she looks at you, and it’s the look of someone who would tear the stars from the sky if she thought it would bring you joy. She will worship you if you let her.”
He fell silent as Michelle digested his words.
“It’s a dangerous thing, to be loved like that,” he said quietly. “Just be careful. You have to be sure. She won’t be able to live with any less.”
Michelle didn’t answer, and he didn’t seem to expect her to.
He disappeared back to the kitchen, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She tried to sort through her feelings about Lavinia.
Of course, she thought she was amazing. It wasn’t difficult to be smitten with her.
Last night had certainly made that last piece fall into place.
Everything had felt so right, so blissfully perfect that their night together now seemed like a distant dream.
For one night, there hadn’t been questions about their future, about what would lie beyond the realm of their touch and desire.
It had just been about them, in the heat of the moment, finding their release together.
Now, though, sitting in the harsh reality of their lives, it wasn’t so easy or clear-cut anymore.
If she was honest with herself, completely honest, tearing away the hesitancy and what-ifs and rebuttals that her rational brain offered up, there was an irrefutable truth that had slowly been emerging.
She loved Lavinia. She loved her with an intensity that scared her.
The thought of an ending between them, a reversion to their own separate lives, was heartbreaking.
Michelle had never been impulsive, always taking the safe route through life.
She took a safe path through school, went into nursing as a stable job.
She was dependable, level-headed. Lavinia made her feel dizzy, off-centre, but in a delicious and heady way.
A life with Lavinia, if that was even a possibility, would be a life of extremes.
There was Lavinia’s own steadiness, her fundamental goodness.
But then there was also that other side of Lavinia’s life, which would always bring danger, violence, and death to their doorstep.
Lavinia had dedicated her life to the Sisterhood.
Michelle wasn’t sure whether it was even possible for them to leave or give up that role.
Either way, she could never ask that of Lavinia.
The Sisterhood was who she was—and if Michelle wanted to be with her, she would have to deal with the anxiety that came with it.
She would have to be at home, wishing for Lavinia’s safe return, as she was now.
Would she be able to do that if it meant being with Lavinia?
She stared out at the London skyline covered with grey clouds.
What would it be: a predictable life, or an adventurous one?