20. Slade
SLADE
“You are a certified maniac!” Jude squeals as she peers over the edge of the rock.
“This is the smallest we’re going to do.”
“You’re joking, right?” She whirls to face me, and I grab her on instinct, guiding her away from the edge so she doesn’t go over by accident before she’s prepared.
“You’ll be fine as long as you follow my instructions.”
She turns inside my arms to peer over the edge of the cliff and down at the sparkling ocean below. I keep my hands on her waist, holding her close as she inspects the drop.
“It’s only seven meters. Just looks higher from the top,” I tell her.
She inclines her face over her shoulder toward me. “Uh-huh. Says the man who thinks stuff like this is fun.”
“It is fun.”
She rolls her eyes and lets out a cute snort. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
“Pretty sure you asked me to show you what I like to do, but—” I let out a small puff of air as she jabs me lightly in the gut with an elbow.
“Not exactly what I had in mind.” She looks out at the sunlight hitting the top of the ocean, making it glitter. “It’s so beautiful up here, though. I get why you like it. Hey, look. Boats.” She points along the coast.
My chest tightens as I follow her gaze. “Yeah, it’s a marina. There are bigger ones nearby. That one’s only used by locals taking fishing boats out.”
“Oh. Mel and I have always walked the other way along the beach. I didn’t even know it was there.”
Hidden in plain sight.
“What do I need to know, then? So I remain in one piece doing this?”
She bounces a little inside my grip and my fingers flex on her waist.
“First, never jump anywhere there are breaks in the waves. It means there are rocks below. In fact, you should swim in the area below first to check and use a probe to measure the depth. But I know this place. We’re fine.”
“Check for rocks. Got it. What else?”
“Weather. Rough water is obvious, but you also have to think about the wind. Once you jump higher, it can affect your path down and alter where you’ll land.”
“Oh God, it sounds like parachuting.” She shivers, and I squeeze her hips in reassurance, lowering my mouth to her ear.
“I won’t let anything happen to you. Now, let’s move closer.”
Her breath catches as I maneuver us so we’re only a few inches from the edge of the rock.
The scent of warm saltwater blows past us on the breeze, and I inhale deeply, holding it in my lungs and savoring it for a moment.
Being up here with Jude, it would be easy to forget what’s waiting for us back in the real world.
“You need to enter the water correctly. Never headfirst unless you want to increase your chance of a spinal injury,” I say, shifting my focus back onto preparing her.
She leans away from the edge warily, and her bikini clad ass presses against my groin. I bite down on my lower lip, forcing myself to concentrate.
“Arms close to your body, feet together. And breathe out as you enter the water, okay?”
“I can’t believe you find this fun. My heart’s about to explode out of my chest.” She laughs nervously, then inches forward, out of my grasp. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
She glances back at me, nervousness in her gaze. “See you down there.”
“You will.”
She turns around, her shoulders rising and falling as she takes a deep breath and peers over the edge. They rise and fall again as she straightens.
Then she jumps.
I’m seconds behind her, shooting into the cool water, then breaking through the surface a few meters away from where she’s already treading water with a huge grin.
“That was awesome!” she yells.
“Yeah?” I swim over to her, studying her face for any lingering signs of nerves, but they’ve all vanished.
“Yeah.” She nods quickly. “But I’m shaking.” She lifts a hand from the water and shows me her fingers, trembling, as she tries to hold them still horizontally.
“It’s adrenaline. You’ll get used to it.”
She looks at the ledge from where we’ve just jumped, then lowers her eyes and beams at me.
“Can we do another?”
Forty minutes and four more jumps later, we’re standing at a higher section of the cliff that Jude insisted we walk up to so she could take a look.
There’s no way I’m letting her jump it. She’s done well, taking on each higher and higher jump like a champ.
I’ve created an adrenaline junkie. But this one is too much for her first time.
“How high is this one?” she asks breathlessly.
“Twenty-five meters,” I reply, running my hand around my jaw. “Too high for your first day.”
“I don’t know.” She frowns, peering over the edge like she’s mentally gauging the drop.
I hook a hand around her waist and drag her back.
“You said you just wanted to look. I told you you’re not doing it.”
“It’s not much higher than the others,” she argues. “And you’ve done it before.”
I tighten my grip on her warm, wet skin. “Which is exactly why I’m telling you that you aren’t going to. I’ve been doing this a long time. Trust me. You’ve done really well. Quit while you’re ahead.”
She purses her lips.
“You’d better not be thinking of doing anything stupid, New York City.”
“I can do it,” she says, like a petulant child, spinning inside my grip to face me.
“Try and step closer to the edge and I’ll have you over my shoulder and down this cliff faster than you can fucking blink,” I growl.
Her expression hardens at my fierce tone, but I can’t let that bother me. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her take on a jump that big before she’s ready for it.
“You think I can’t do it?” she snaps.
“I think it’s your first time and I don’t want you to push yourself too far. Listen to me, I know what I’m talking about.”
“Ugh. As if I haven’t been told that before. What is it about me, huh? What is it that makes people think they know what’s best for me? That they know what I should and shouldn’t do?”
I clamp my lips together, my jaw clenching as I listen. I thought this might happen. When you face an extreme challenge and push yourself physically, it can break open your mind too. Make you take a deep, hard look inside yourself. Make you question things.
I should have seen this coming…
“This isn’t about your father trying to push you into a career you didn’t want. Or about your jerk of an ex choosing to stick his dick in another woman,” I snap. “This is about me keeping you safe.”
She shrugs out of my hold, making me suck in a sharp breath. It’s too late to dissect how fast this day is turning to shit. The inevitable crash is coming at full force to obliterate us. I feel like a spectator merely along for the ride.
“Why do you do it? Because you want to push yourself, right? You want to feel that exhilaration?” she says.
“I—”
“Or is it really because this is the only way you feel alive? Because the rest of the time you’re too fucking scared of whatever it is you’re hiding from, to actually feel like you’re living?”
She pokes me in the chest.
“Step away from the fucking edge, Jude,” I snarl. “Or I swear the next move you make will be up onto my shoulder as I carry your city ass down this cliff.”
“Right.” She scoffs. “Because you think you get to decide what’s best for me, when you can’t even admit your real name to me?”
“What the fuck’s that got to do with anything right now?”
I step closer, and she steps back, nearing the edge.
“Tell me the truth.” She jerks her chin up defiantly. “You’re Slade Beaufort, aren’t you? Not hypothetically. The real, stone-cold truth. I want to hear you admit it.”
“You’re fucking crazy,” I snap, inching closer. If she takes another three steps, she’ll be falling off the edge backward. “You think you can force me into telling you stuff that has absolutely nothing to fucking do with you, huh?”
She throws her arms wide. “Maybe. Are you going to tell me? Or are you going to meet me down there?” She jerks her head to the drop behind her.
I grit my teeth, stalling in my movements that are inching me closer to her.
She narrows her eyes. “What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I grit.
“Tell me.”
“You’re not me,” I hiss.
“Not who? Woody? Slade? Fucking Batman?” She laughs, shaking her head. “You know, I do plenty of things on my own. I don’t need your approval. Or anyone else’s.”
“Seems to me like you’re asking for it, though?”
“What?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
I curse myself internally for letting the ill-timed words slip past my lips. But this woman sparks something in me that makes it impossible not to react.
“No. Go on. You obviously have something to say,” she snaps.
She isn’t going to let it drop. If I say the words with enough conviction to shock her into keeping the fuck still, then I can grab her and prevent the huge damn coronary episode that’s kicking off inside my chest at the sight of her near the edge.
“All right,” I concede, inching a little closer.
“You want your father’s approval. You’re still getting over your guilt that you let him down by not wanting to be a surgeon.
And you were willing to marry a man who treats you like shit in order to make him proud of you, because your father likes him. ”
Her face pales, and she stares at me.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” She seethes.
I walk closer, pinning my eyes to hers so damn hard that she doesn’t have time to see what my feet are doing.
“Like I’m the biggest asshole you’ve ever met.”
“Aren’t you? Because right now, it sure seems like you’re trying to be.”
“Really?” I huff out a cold laugh. “Even bigger than the guy you were ready to marry?”
“I—”
“The guy who’s probably balls deep in your friend right now. Fucking her in your own bed. Telling her how she’s the best sex of his life, and he can’t get enough of her.”
It’s harsh and uncalled for, but I can’t stop myself with her. She pushes every last one of my damn buttons when she starts demanding. Starts asking questions I can’t answer.
“Maybe he’s even got her fucking pregnant already!” I yell.
Her hand whips up fast, and I brace myself for the crack across my face that I deserve.
But it never comes.
Instead, she pinches her nose and throws herself over the edge.
Her name rips from my throat in a panicked scream.
“Jude!”