Chapter 36 Logan
LOGAN
Practice feels normal.
At least that’s what I keep trying to convince myself of as I loop the ice behind Nathan, watching the way his skates cut clean lines across the rink like he’s not about to flip my entire world inside out today.
The rink looks the same. Sounds the same. Coach barking out instructions, Austin talking way too loudly for it being seven in the goddamn morning, a couple of the rookies wheezing through warm-ups like they’re ninety. Same old Colton U bullshit.
But all I can focus on is the fact that Nathan is planning to tell the team about us today.
When we came home from the bar on Saturday and he told me he wanted to tell everyone, I honestly thought he meant sometime in the distant future, like a week or two, maybe after he had time to mentally prepare and process everything that would come with it.
But nope. He woke up this morning—in my bed, of course—and casually announced he was going to tell everyone today. The team. His sister. His parents.
It was maybe the first time in my life I’ve ever been truly speechless, and my skin has been buzzing ever since. It feels like a dream I’ve had a hundred times, but never let myself believe would actually come true, and that thought alone is enough to make my stomach flip.
I try not to grin like an idiot as I drop into a ready stance, stick angled toward center ice. Across from me, Austin gives me this obnoxious smirk, the kind that says he knows something’s up even if he doesn’t.
“You good there, Rookie?” he calls out, cocky as hell.
I flick a puck at him and raise a brow. “Worried I’m about to score on your ass again?”
“Please.” He scoffs so obnoxiously, it makes me want to smack him with my stick. “You couldn’t score on me if I stood still and handed you a fucking map.”
Before I can fire something else back, Coach blows his whistle, and we break into drills.
I pivot on my blades and pass to Ryan before cutting across the slot. He sends it flying back to me and I flick the puck low toward the post. It slips right under his pad and I can’t help the smug grin that hits my face.
Nathan shakes his head behind the mask like he’s unimpressed, but I catch the tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth.
I lose track of time as we continue the drills until Coach finally blows the whistle again and calls it.
We trail off the ice and I yank my helmet off and rake a hand through my damp hair, trying to shake it out of my eyes.
Austin slings an arm around my neck the second we step off the ice. “You were awful smiley today,” he says, flashing me a grin. “You got laid, didn’t you?”
I roll my eyes and shove him off me.
He laughs and jogs ahead toward the locker room. I glance over my shoulder at Nathan walking just behind me, chest still rising with each breath, hair damp and sticking to his forehead. His eyes catch mine, and for a second I stop breathing.
Fuck.
He’s really going to do it.
I can see it written all over his face.
I turn back around and breathe hard, trying to keep my cool as I push through the locker room door, my heart thudding way too fast. Austin’s already half-naked by the time I step inside, peeling off his jockstrap with zero shame.
“Shower time, bitches,” he says. “Try not to miss me.”
Ryan huffs out a laugh as he yanks off his jersey. “How are you this annoying this early in the week?”
Austin just winks. “It’s a gift. You’re welcome.”
He scoffs when Austin turns and heads toward the showers.
I hang back near the doorway, pulse thudding way too hard, pretending to dig around in my gear bag when really, I’m not doing anything except watching Nathan.
From the outside, he looks calm. But I know him. I know the way his shoulders lift just a little higher when he’s overthinking, the way he keeps his jaw locked tight when he’s trying not to let nerves show.
He said he was ready. But just because he’s ready doesn’t mean it’s easy.
And as much as I want us to stop hiding and to be able to kiss him and not feel like I have to glance over my shoulder, part of me aches at the thought of him feeling like he has to do it.
I don’t want him to regret it.
I’d rather wait than have him regret it.
I take a breath and lean closer so only he can hear. “You okay?”
His eyes flick to me and he nods, swallowing hard.
I lower my voice even more, my chest tightening. “You don’t have to do this right now.” I run a hand through my hair, mostly to keep from fidgeting. “Seriously. If you changed your mind, or want to wait until next week or—”
“No,” he cuts me off with a shake of his head. “I don’t want to wait.”
And before I can react, he grabs the front of my jersey, pulls me toward him, and kisses me.
Right there.
In the middle of the locker room.
With all the guys watching.
“What the fuck?” I hear someone say. Don’t know who. Don’t really give a fuck.
“Did they just—”
“Holy shit.”
There’s a split second of silence before the locker room erupts into whistles and cheers, but all I can hear is my pulse pounding in my ears as I slide my hand over the back of Nathan’s head and kiss him back.
My whole body’s buzzing with adrenaline and disbelief, like I just scored the game-winner in overtime.
His mouth is soft and sure against mine, and for a guy who’s usually nervous as hell, he’s kissing me like he’s been waiting forever to do it.
I don’t even care that we’re surrounded by twenty other dudes, most of whom are now freaking the fuck out.
“What happened?” I hear Austin say. “What the fuck did I miss?”
I pull back slightly, my breath caught somewhere in my chest, and when I open my eyes, Nathan’s staring at me like I hung the stars or something. His lips are pink and kiss-swollen, his eyes still a little dazed, and for a second, I just look at him.
Because holy shit. He actually did it.
He kissed me in front of everyone.
And I think my heart might explode.
“What the fuck?” Austin’s voice breaks through again.
I glance over at him, letting out a laugh when I see he’s fully naked and dripping water everywhere. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is parted open.
“Are you two—did you—what?” he asks, shaking his head. “Are you serious? You two? When the hell did this happen? I live with you! What the fuck!”
I huff out a laugh, unable to help myself. “Dude. I literally asked you to switch rooms on our away game,” I remind him, arching a brow. “You had to know.”
He just stares at me, his gaze drifting somewhere past me like he’s replaying the whole thing in his head. The night I asked him to switch rooms—no questions asked—and him agreeing. I figured at the time he’d put two and two together and decided to keep his mouth shut.
“I thought you guys were just… finally bonding,” he says, brows tugging together.
I laugh again and hook my pinky with Nathan’s. “We were,” I say, shooting Nathan a teasing smirk.
He lets out a chuckle, his smile wide, bright, and so fucking beautiful it steals the air from my lungs. The look on his face makes me feel like I won something. He looks proud, smug… happy.
Ryan blinks at us slowly, still trying to piece together the math. “How long has this been going on?” he asks.
Nathan’s hand slides into mine, our fingers threading together. “I’ve had feelings for him for a long time,” he tells the guys, making my heart do fucking somersaults in my chest. “I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”
Austin lets out a long breath and smacks Nathan on the shoulder, completely undeterred by the fact that he’s very much still naked.
“This explains why you’ve been playing better,” he says with a grin. “You finally got laid.”
Nathan flushes instantly. “Jesus, Austin,” he mutters, shoving him off. “Put some fucking clothes on before you touch me.”
Austin just cackles and struts off toward the showers and all I can do is stare at Nathan.
Because I know this was terrifying for him. I know how long it took to get here. But now he’s standing next to me in the middle of the locker room, still holding my hand. And I’ve never wanted to kiss him more.
“I mean…” I lift a shoulder, flashing him a grin. “He’s not wrong.”
Nathan shoots me a glare—which, for us, is basically flirting.
“I can honestly say I didn’t see this coming,” Ryan says, glancing between Nathan and me. “But I’m really happy for you guys.”
Nathan glances at me, and he exhales, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder. It hits me right in the chest. “Yeah,” he says, holding my gaze. “Me too.”
My chest kind of hurts from how good it feels. The guys are all fine with it—I assume they would be, since they all know I’m bi and have never had an issue with me—and we no longer have to hide.
I’m so happy right now… until Miles ruins it.
“So, uh…” he says, from the other side of the locker room, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Which one of you tops?”
I don’t even have time to answer because Cole reaches out and smacks Miles across the back of the head.
“Ow,” Miles grunts, spinning around to glare at Cole. “What the hell, man?”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Cole mutters, already turning away like the conversation bores him.
His eyes find mine and he just nods. I nod back, silently thanking him for not telling anyone and also assuring him I won’t go blabbing about his secret. He drops onto the bench and starts yanking off his pads.
Everyone’s mostly back to doing their own thing now so I glance at Nathan beside me and bump his shoulder with mine. “Hey,” I murmur. “You okay?”
His eyes meet mine, and his smile is so full of relief it guts me. Like he finally stopped bracing for the worst. Like for the first time, he realized he doesn’t have to hide who he is or who he loves. He can just be himself.
“So fucking happy.”
God, I love him. I love him so much. All I want to do in this exact moment—this second—is kiss him again. I want to grab his face, press my mouth to his, and show him how much this means to me.
Because he didn’t just come out. He chose me.
And it feels really fucking good.