Chapter 38 Logan
LOGAN
Ifeel like I’m gonna throw up.
And I know, technically, this has nothing to do with me, but my body hasn’t gotten the memo. My hands are clammy, my stomach’s a mess, and my heart’s pounding way harder than it should for someone who’s… sitting on a couch. Doing absolutely nothing.
Well. Nothing except pretending to watch some shitty action movie that Austin picked. And failing—badly—at pretending I care what’s happening on the screen.
I bounce my leg.
Shift in my seat.
Check my phone again, even though I already know there’s nothing new.
Nathan’s the one waiting for news, but somehow, I’m the one vibrating with anxiety. I glance over toward the kitchen for maybe the fourth time in five minutes, then scrub a hand over my face.
Screw it.
I push up from the couch and make my way into the kitchen.
Nathan’s leaning against the counter, holding his phone in his hand. His thumb keeps swiping the screen like maybe refreshing it will magically change something. He doesn’t look up right away, which is how I know it’s not good news. His brows are pulled tight, his mouth a flat line.
“So?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
He lifts his head and meets my eyes. “Not yet.”
I nod slowly, stepping in closer. “Okay. That’s okay.”
He doesn’t say anything, just exhales through his nose, his gaze dropping back to his phone. I come up behind him, sliding my arms around his waist and tugging him back against me.
I hate how stiff he still feels. Like he’s bracing for bad news, so I press a slow kiss to the side of his neck, letting my lips linger there for a second. “It could still get posted tomorrow, baby. Don’t psych yourself out.”
He blows out a breath. “Jackson said he got his twenty minutes ago.”
I frown against his skin, jealousy pricking my skin. “And who the hell is Jackson?”
That gets me a huff of laughter, finally, and he glances over his shoulder. “He’s in my art class. And I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”
I tighten my arms around him and lean in. “Doesn’t matter. Because you’re mine.”
Nathan twists in my hold to face me, and there is the little flicker of a smile I’ve been waiting for. “There’s no need to be jealous. I only have eyes for you.”
Never going to get tired of hearing Nathan say that.
I raise an eyebrow and smirk. “That’s fucking right,” I murmur, giving his ass a squeeze.
His head tips forward slightly as he lets out a breath, a soft laugh slipping out of him. He’s still wound tight, though. So I step closer, hook my finger under his chin, and tilt his face toward mine.
His lips are so soft and warm, and when my fingers slide into his hair, he exhales into my mouth, like maybe kissing me is the only thing that lets him breathe right now.
I press him back into the counter with my hips, and he groans against my lips.
God. I could lose myself in him so damn easily.
But he’s still got that worried look in his eyes when I pull back, and I know he’s too focused on the email. I swipe my thumb across his bottom lip.
“Come on,” I murmur, even though I kind of want to kiss him again until he forgets how to be anxious. “Let’s go hang with the others.”
He sighs, but lets me lead him out of the kitchen, his fingers threading through mine as we walk.
The living room’s quiet when we walk in. Austin and Maisie are practically folded into one on the couch, because the guy can’t spend a single second away from her.
Ryan glances up when we walk in, eyes landing on Nathan, not saying anything, but I know that look. It’s the same one I’ve had all night.
Nathan just shakes his head. Ryan exhales, dragging a hand through his hair, and tugs Isabella back against his chest.
They all know Nathan applied to the mentorship and is waiting to hear back.
But even though we’re all holding our breaths, I know he’ll get that email. There’s no world where he doesn’t get in. No chance they look at what he’s drawn, and don’t want him. He’s too good. Too passionate. Too damn talented not to be seen.
Still, every second that ticks by without a ping from his phone feels like fucking torture.
I slide onto the couch and Nathan settles next to me, his thigh brushing mine and his phone still gripped in his hand. He hasn't checked it in the last thirty seconds, which I’m counting as a win.
Across from us, Aurora’s the only one sitting solo.
She’s stretched out on the far end of the couch, one leg crossed high over the other, a half-eaten bag of chips balanced on her lap that she’s clearly not touching.
Her phone lights up beside her. She reaches for it, quickly types something out, and stares ahead at the TV.
I lean my head against Nathan’s shoulder, exhaling slowly through my nose. He shifts like he’s been waiting for me to do that, then dips his head and presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
And just like that, I’m useless.
Completely undone.
I used to give guys shit for this kind of thing. Kissing in public, cuddling during movies, skipping parties to stay in with their partner. I thought it was clingy. Embarrassing. I thought they were losing themselves.
But now I get it.
There’s nothing embarrassing about being with someone who makes you feel this safe. This wanted. This full.
I used to chase noise because silence meant being alone with myself. Parties, drinks, hookups—they were distractions. Temporary fixes for something I didn’t know how to name.
But now I have him. And suddenly, quiet isn’t scary anymore.
I smile against his shoulder, my fingers grazing his under the blanket between us.
Aurora sighs and tips her head back. “Being single is so fucking annoying.”
Isabella glances over from her blanket cocoon. “I thought you were seeing someone?”
Aurora straightens a little, grabs a chip and flicks it into her mouth with a shrug. “Yeah, well. He’s a dick.”
Nathan’s arm tenses slightly beneath my head and I glance up at him, watching as he checks his phone again.
“Nothing?” I ask, low enough for just him.
He shakes his head and puts his phone down, trying to stop himself from obsessively refreshing.
I thread my fingers through his, my thumb brushing over his hand. “It’ll come through,” I say quietly. “You’re just last ‘cause they had to save the best for the end.”
His hand runs over his face like he’s trying to scrub away the restlessness that’s been clinging to him since dinner. “Maybe I should just go to sleep,” he mumbles, not looking at me. “Check tomorrow.”
I swallow, hard, because I know what it’s taken to let himself want this, to believe he might actually be good enough to get it. And now that he’s finally admitted it, the wait is clawing at him from the inside out.
I shift closer, about to say something else, when his phone lights up and he glances down at the screen.
Nathan doesn’t say anything right away. He just stares at the screen for a second, blinking like he’s making sure it’s real, and then he slowly looks up at me.
And I know.
I know before he says a single word.
“You got in?” I ask, my breath catching in my throat.
He just grins. Big and bright and so fucking pure I feel like something cracks open in my chest. He lets out a disbelieving laugh, and my grin widens.
“Holy shit,” I murmur, cupping his face before kissing him.
I don’t care that everyone’s watching. I grab his face in both hands and kiss him hard. His mouth opens against mine, laughing into the kiss, and I feel his fingers fist the front of my shirt like he needs to hang on.
I pull back just enough to look into those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes of his, our foreheads pressed together. “I fucking knew you would,” I whisper against his lips, and his eyes flutter shut for a second like he’s soaking it in.
Ryan twists around from where he’s sitting on the floor with Isabella, raising his eyebrows. “He got in?”
Nathan glances up and gives a small nod.
Ryan grins. “Hell yeah, man.”
“No fucking way,” Austin says, practically launching himself upright. “Let’s gooo!”
Maisie winces as his knee knocks into her but still laughs. “Congrats, Nathan,” she says with a warm smile. “You deserve it.”
Isabella turns to face her brother, her smile widening. “I’m so happy for you.”
Nathan lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head like he still can’t quite believe it. “Thanks, Izz.”
His fingers tighten around mine just a little, and I glance over at him, my heart so full. His cheeks are slightly pink from the attention he’s getting but he looks so damn happy. “I love you,” he says.
Scratch that. I’ll never get tired of hearing Nathan say that.
“I love you.” My thumb swipes over his cheek and I pull him into me again, kissing him, needing his lips on mine.
He laughs against my lips, and I feel his hand slide up under my hoodie. Normally, I’m all for it, but considering we’re in front of our friends, I yank his hand away and pull back, shooting him a warning glare.
He just grins, though. And fuck me, watching him smile like that? Watching him feel proud of himself and not hide any part of who he is?
It’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
We’re both still smiling like idiots when the front door opens.
It creaks a little—probably because Ryan keeps saying he’s going to oil the hinge and never does—and we all snap our heads toward the sound.
Normally, it wouldn’t be weird, since I live with three other guys, two of whom always have their girlfriends here. But it’s almost two in the morning, and everyone who usually hangs out here is accounted for.
So when Cole Ellis shows up in the doorway, we’re all just… silent, blinking like maybe we’re imagining it. Which is fair. Cole doesn’t show up to these nights. He keeps to himself, and we all figured that’s how he preferred it.
Which makes seeing him here feel a little like a glitch in the matrix.
He doesn’t close the door, doesn’t even explain why he’s here. He just looks around until his eyes land on Aurora, and walks across the room, heading straight for her.
Aurora pushes up from her chair. “Uh. What the hell are you—?”
He doesn’t give her a chance to finish the sentence. Just bends at the waist, scoops her up like she weighs nothing, and hoists her over his shoulder.
“What the fuck,” she squeaks, kicking her feet as she flails against his back. “Cole! Are you actually serious right now? Put me the fuck down!”
He turns back toward the door without a word. She’s still kicking and cursing him out as he walks out.
The room is filled with complete, stunned silence as soon as the door swings shut behind them.
Isabella’s the first to find her voice. “They’re not… together, are they?” she asks, her eyebrows lifting. “I mean… they can’t be. Right?”
Ryan exhales, shaking his head. “Okay. I must be blind, because how the hell did I not notice Logan and Nathan, and now those two.”
Austin chuckles. “I fucking knew it. You guys owe me ten bucks.”
Ryan lets out a scoff. “Get fucked. I never made that bet. It was obvious they would eventually fuck.”
“Either that or kill each other,” Austin adds with a laugh. “Although, now that I’m thinking about it… he really could’ve gone to murder her and we’re all just assuming they’re hooking up.”
I take a long sip of my drink because nope, absolutely not touching that. Cole kept my secret without question. I’m sure as hell keeping his.
Nathan shifts beside me, his thigh pressing against mine. I glance at him and nudge his leg with mine, and he nudges back. The tiniest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and my chest goes all warm and fuzzy.
Everyone eventually eases back into their conversations, but I’m too busy watching my boyfriend. Hot as hell, annoyingly talented, and sitting right beside me like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
And it kind of is now.
He leans into me without thinking, his fingers still loosely tangled with mine, and I feel that familiar tug in my chest.
I’ve wanted a family for so long—kept chasing it in all the wrong places, hoping something temporary would stick. And while I’ve had pieces, flashes of it, this right here… this feels like mine.
These guys are loud, messy, and annoying as fuck sometimes.
But they’re perfect because they accept me for who I am. He accepts me for who I am and loves me for it.
I’ve spent a long time feeling like I was always just passing through. Someone fun for a night, someone loud in a room, someone people liked in small doses. But this guy? This beautiful, complicated, stubborn-as-hell guy beside me?
He chose me.
And I choose him right back.
I press a kiss to Nathan’s hair and he smiles against my shoulder.
Yeah.
Feels like a pretty damn perfect ending to me.