Chapter 39 – Jessica
I duck and hamstring the demon holding Liam ransom. As he growls from pain and what sounds like a good deal of irritation, Liam pushes the sword away, hissing when the metal cuts through his reinforced leather glove. At least his fingers are still there.
“That was a gamble, Jess,” he hisses, swinging his weapon up to intercept an approaching demon.
“Thank me later,” I yell, pivoting to dodge another hatchet. How many of those do they have on them? I’m not afforded the luxury to dwell on it, however. Soon, the battle is in full swing and I’m busy parrying and thrusting, taking care of my teammates’ backs while avoiding getting something jabbed in mine.
“Jess, get down!” Ethan yells and I follow through without a moment of hesitation. For nearly five years we’ve been fighting together as a unit. A huge mace whistles through the air right where my head was not a breath ago. I push off the ground and slice the mace-wielding demon’s leg, forcing him to one knee. Ethan takes advantage and cuts the demon’s neck, letting him bleed out on the ground.
I don’t stop my momentum, heading for a demon swinging twin daggers. I redirect one of his blades, then use the hilt of my other weapon to knock the other dagger out of the screaming demon’s hand. I turn around in time to see Liam in a deadlock with an opponent. Looking around for inspiration, I see a discarded chain on the ground. I transfer my sword and dagger into one hand to free the other, then, using my affinity for metal, I wrap my ether around it and pull it through the air, into my open hand. I whip it around the neck of Liam’s foe, yanking hard and making him choke. As the demon grasps for the chain cutting off his airflow, Liam stabs his massive weapon through the enemy’s unguarded torso.
Immediately, Liam pivots to side-kick another opponent in the ribs, then grabs a fallen hatchet and hurls it at the demon about to land a blow with Ethan, throwing him off balance. Ethan then buries his blade between the demon’s shoulder blades, pushing him into the ground and landing on top of him.
We both notice Akira is overpowered at the same time, facing three foes. I rush for one, sailing into his middle and knocking him to the ground. I press both of my weapons against his throat and push with all my strength, just as Ethan shoulder-checks another demon, then headbutts him before hitting him in the jaw with the pommel of his weapon.
Akira drops into a crouch, swiping out a leg to unbalance the final demon. Once the foe is on the ground, he leaps atop him, jamming a dagger into the demon’s eye socket. Ew.
I can’t believe we’re winning this, though.
When the demon underneath me stops struggling, I stop pressing and lean back. That’s when I hear Ethan’s gasp. The pale-eyed demon holds him in his arms, almost like a lover would, while the demoness, Sythra observes with a lascivious smile on her painted lips.
At first, I don’t see it. Ethan looks scared, the demons look awfully pleased with themselves, and my mind is working a million miles an hour trying to find a way out of this. We always find a way out. But then I see the blood starting to drip out of Ethan’s slightly parted mouth. And I see the tip of the demon’s weapon protruding out of Ethan’s chest, straight through the middle.
“No!” I scream, scrabbling up to my feet.
“Don’t move, doll,” the demoness threatens, pointing at us with her stiletto. “The deal was one, but give me a reason and we’ll take more from you.”
The trio grows blurry as tears gather in my eyes. I need them gone so we can heal Ethan! “What do y–you mean, one?” I stutter, hating the way my lower lip trembles from fear, not for myself, but for one of my brothers. I can see Ethan’s eyes losing focus as they narrow pleadingly at me. I’m trying! “What do you want? Just let him go!” I shriek, not an ounce of cool left in me. I take a step forward, but Akira and Liam each grab one of my arms, holding me back.
“One,” the male demon says softly. “You ruined one of Andras’ plans. My advice?” He lifts an eyebrow, one side of his mouth hiking up. “Don’t get involved again.”
With that, the demon twists the weapon until the blade points up. Ethan coughs and blood bubbles painting the entirety of his chin and neck red.
“Fucking stop!” Liam yells, his hands clenching around my tense muscles.
Sythra giggles, hopping up and down and clapping at our turmoil.
“Please,” I beg with a whine. My sobs shake me so hard that the boys are the only thing keeping me up now.
The demon tilts his head, nuzzling the side of Ethan’s. “It’s too late for that,” he says. He takes half a step back, then, holding Ethan’s shoulder with one hand, he pulls the sword up, eviscerating one of my closest friends.
The sword leaves Ethan’s body with a squelch and his breath rattles, his fingers twitching. Time stands still as I hold his gaze. His lips form my name. The two demons say something, but I don’t hear them over the ringing of my ears.
My knees hit the ground first, the boys letting me go to rush forward. I don’t see Ethan fall because I tip over, my face in the soil nurtured by the demons’ blood. But I feel the thud. Feel it all the way to the soul I wish I didn’t have.
∞∞∞
“You have to eat something, child.” Daniel’s voice is as kind and comforting as always. So why doesn’t it penetrate this cloud around me? More than just my blankets, I feel like I’m wrapped in cotton, separate from the outside world.
“And I think your boys are about ready to tear this door down,” Maalik adds, his mahogany skin glowing under the candlelight. I find myself transfixed by the sight, the way his warm skin tone complements the yellow-gold of his eyes. One magnificent eyebrow raises. “I know I’m pretty, Jess, but I think your hands are full enough already.”
Instead of blushing, which some small part of me is trying to do, trying to say, ‘hey, Jess, snap out of it, this isn’t helping anyone’, I just slide my gaze away and back to the wall. If he doesn’t want me to look, then I just won’t look. Simple as that. Everything is… simple.
Ethan is gone – simple.
I will never forget the way he looked at me as he died – simple.
I don’t deserve to be here when he’s not – simple.
They tried. My boys. Ithuriel held me that first night, here in my old quarters in Abaddon. Sariel vowed to track down the demons and end them in any painful way I wished it to happen. But then I said I wanted to be alone and they’ll always give me what I want, my angels.
For four years it was just us; Lana, Kevin, Ethan, Liam, and me. Simone’s loss hurt, but now that I know she’s alive and reasonably well, I don’t remember those feelings anymore. Ethan’s not going to magically come back to life. I feel like I should be crying, but my well has run dry.
Daniel sighs and pats my hand. A small part of my awareness processes how he motions for Maalik to leave, how the dark-skinned Fallen clicks his tongue in disappointment. Well, life is disappointing.
The door clicks shut behind them and I hear murmured voices in the hallway.
“No, fuck that.” Footsteps. “Poppet, I’m coming in.”
Without waiting for an answer, Sariel confidently walks inside like he owns the place. It thins the cotton around my psyche somewhat. Behind him, Itha stands at the open doorway, peeking inside with furrowed brows. I hate seeing him so worried. I hate that they’re seeing me like this. Irritation penetrates my shield of numbness.
“Why can’t you just let me be miserable in peace?” I burst out.
Sariel gives me a stern look with his black-hole eyes. “You’ve had three days. You didn’t even go to the funeral.”
I scoff, hitting the bedspread with a fist. “I was there when he died, I saw the light go out of his eyes. There’s no bigger goodbye than that,” I say bitterly.
The Fallen sits on the chair next to my bed, the one Daniel just vacated. “I was there when Armaros died,” he begins. “He was more than just a friend and he died in my arms,” he corrects himself with a choked voice. “But, trust me, love, not saying goodbye properly… it leads to months of self-destructive bullshit.”
Something twists in my stomach at his words. They just make me unreasonably angry. “So, what?” I ask with derision. “Because I wasn’t fucking Ethan, I don’t get the same latitude you did to mourn the way I want to?”
Sariel grins, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Feel free to be a grade-A bitch to me, darling. I’m not going anywhere. And neither is dove-feathers over there.” He tilts his chin at the angel still standing by the door. When my eyes meet his, Itha takes a cautious step forward.
My shoulders slump. I am being a bitch. “I’m sorry,” I murmur, my eyes glued to my blankets. “I’m not good company right now.”
Sariel slaps his thighs and stands up, making me flinch. “Whelp. It’s a good thing two’s a company and three’s a crowd. You’re a great crowd.”
With that nonsense, he pushes me closer to the center of the bed and gets in next to me. I’m still reeling from his presence when the bed dips at the foot and Itha crawls in to settle at my other side.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, my eyes welling up with fresh tears. All my numbness is gone now and I want it back.
“Being with you,” Itha whispers back, the first thing he says since entering the room.
My breaths gradually turn harsher until they’re sawing in and out of my laboring chest. Just when I don’t think I can handle the pain anymore, the first sob breaks through and Sariel pulls my head onto his chest. I feel Ithuriel’s lips on the back of my head, his arms reaching over until I’m cocooned between them, letting the poison out.