Chapter 34
SIMONE
The baby hasn't come yet, but my body is telling me it won't be long now. I feel it in the changes it’s going through. Not to mention the way Az has been watching me like a hawk.
Yesterday, he followed me from the library to the kitchen and back again without saying a single word, just hovering at my shoulder like a very handsome, very anxious shadow.
But today, we have company.
Naamah sits across from me in the salon, one leg tucked beneath her, looking impossibly sensual for a demoness who gave birth three weeks ago. In her arms is Astarea. Az's granddaughter. My future child's niece.
“Do you want to hold her?” Naamah asks, watching me stare.
“Can I?” The word comes out embarrassingly breathless.
Naamah passes her over with the ease of someone who's already figured out the mechanics of a small person, and suddenly I have a baby in my arms.
Astarea is stunning. Amazing. Her dark eyes are fixed on my face with unsettling intelligence, and two tiny nubs press against the soft cap on her head.
“Are those—”
“Her horns coming in,” Naamah says, sounding ridiculously smug about it. “Earliest I've seen. She's going to be formidable.”
“She's perfect,” I breathe.
Astarea's little fist opens and closes, then her fingers close around my index finger with a surprising grip.
I melt into a puddle.
Kevin, sitting on the arm of Naamah's chair, grins at me from across the room. “She does that to everyone. Lana cried.”
“I'm not crying,” I say immediately.
“No, absolutely not,” Az agrees from the doorway, his voice very dry.
He comes to sit beside me and looks down at Astarea with an expression I've only seen on his face a few times.
It's raw and unguarded, and he doesn't seem used to having these feelings.
He reaches out one finger and lets the baby grab it, just like she grabbed mine.
“Hello, little one,” he murmurs.
Astarea blinks at him. Then makes a sound like a fussy cat.
“She only does that with men who aren't her daddy,” Naamah says, clearly delighted.
“She has your manners,” Az tells his daughter without looking up from the baby.
Kevin coughs to cover a laugh.
After another hour of tea, Forneus' tiny sandwiches, and Naamah gleefully recounting the more horrifying details of labor to me while Kevin goes pale and Az very quiet, they take their leave.
As the manor settles back into its usual quiet, I lower myself onto the sofa with the grace of a fully loaded cargo ship coming into port and drop my head back against the cushions.
“She's extraordinary,” I say to the ceiling.
Az sits beside me, his arm coming around my shoulders. “She takes after her grandfather.”
I turn my head to look at him. “If our baby gets your ego, I'm sending them back.”
“Not possible.” He reaches over and rests his palm on my belly. “You'll just have to learn to love it like you’ve learned to love mine.”
I smile, covering his hand with mine. “We still haven't settled on names,” I say.
Az tilts his head back. “Hm. Do you have any ideas? If it's a girl?”
“Manon.” The name comes out immediately. “I had a friend named Manon. A long time ago, back in France. She's the one who helped me escape Thomas.”
Az is quiet for a moment. Something moves across his face, and I know he's filing it away. We're going to have to talk about Thomas eventually, now that I feel safe enough to say his name out loud.
“Manon,” he repeats. “I like it.”
“And if it's a boy?” I ask.
The corners of his lips curl into a wicked grin, and I press my hand against his mouth.
“Don't,” I say.
“I haven't said anything,” he mumbles against my palm.
“You were going to say Asmodai the Second.”
He tries blinking at me with innocence, and I punch him in the shoulder.
“Ouch,” he says, not even flinching.
“Name suggestions,” I demand. “Actual ones.”
Az drums his fingers on his knee, and I watch him really think about it. He rarely does things halfway.
“Valerian,” he says finally.
I try it out. “Valerian.”
Not bad.
“Or Alaric,” he suggests next.
“Alaric.” I say that one too. It has an ancient ring to it.
“What do you think?” Az asks.
I tilt my head and purse my lips. “I think neither of those is quite right for this baby.”
“Then what would you suggest, little fairy, since you've already vetoed the obvious and superior choice?”
I ignore that, narrowing my eyes in thought. “Leander.”
Silence.
I look at him. He's looking at me.
“Leander,” he says slowly.
“Oui.”
He tries it once more, quieter, like he's picturing him. “Leander. Yes.”
“Yes,” I agree.
The baby kicks again, just once.
“See?” I pat my stomach. “He agrees too.”
Az leans down and presses his lips to the top of my head. “Leander,” he says once more against my hair, and I can hear the smile in it. “Or Manon.”
“Or Manon,” I echo, and close my eyes, warm and heavy and almost ready.
A few days after Astarea’s visit, I’m woken up by a sharp pain in my abdomen.
“Merde,” I hiss through clenched teeth, shooting up in bed and hunching over.
“Simone?”
Az is immediately alert—for weeks now, he’s been watching me sleep like some immortal creep. But I’m so grateful he’s by my side now.
“What is it, little fairy? Is it time?”
“I don’t… I don’t think so,” I whine as another stab pierces my abdomen. “This feels wrong.”
Through blurry eyes, I see Az’s face twist with fear and confusion. “Wrong how?”
He pulls the covers off, exposing my belly… and the blood on my nightgown.
“Oh no,” I whisper. “Non… Not again.”
I’m not going to lose another baby, not after loving it for months and waiting for it so eagerly. Not Az’s baby. The universe wouldn’t be this cruel. Would it?
Instead of providing a solution, he’s frozen, staring at the blood like it’s the first time he sees the color red.
“Az,” I say, my voice pleading. “I—Help. We need help. Get help!”
He flinches like he’s waking up from a nightmare. I wish I could wake up from this one too.
“Who? Who do you need, little fairy? I can’t take you to the human world, and we can’t bring someone from there here.”
He sounds desperate, anguished, helpless. But I can’t comfort him now. Not when I’m bleeding. I try to sense an injury, but there’s nothing to fix. I need someone more experienced. I need…
“Daniel,” I say, the word coming out with a wet sob. “Go to Purgatory and bring Daniel… If he wants to come,” I finish weakly. Maybe he won’t want to help an archdemon’s baby.
Az’s green-gray eyes turn to steel. “Oh, he will come, little fairy. But I don’t want to leave you alone…”
“Go!” I cry, pushing his hands away. “Hurry, please… Az, our baby…”
With another frustrated growl and a quick kiss to my forehead, Az disappears from the bed. In no time, I find myself alone with my night terrors and wanting to pray for the first time in years.
My arms are wrapped around my stomach as I gently rock in place.
“Please don’t leave me,” I whisper to our baby. “Don’t leave us.”