Chapter Nine Alex #2
I laughed and looked away from the camera. “I used to have trouble pronouncing Rs. And I’ve had a few tonight. So. Hellooo childhood speech impediment.” I held up an accusatory finger at the camera. “And you have a hard name to pronounce!”
He stared at me for several beats, as if a problem I had as a child meant something to him. He had an enamored smile on his face as he stared that slowly faded the longer the beat went on. He blinked. Brow curled upward.
“I’m sorry,” Rome said.
“For your silence?” I asked.
He nodded. “I’ve been going through something. I needed time. I shouldn’t have been so quiet with you. I’m sure you thought I ghosted you or something.”
I shrugged. “You didn’t stop talking entirely. But… yeah… I figured you might have changed your mind and wanted to go easy on me.” It was also part of the reason I went out to the bar with my friends.
Rome’s hand slapped his chest and he brought the camera forward. “No. Goodness, no, Alex. No. You… the thought of you is what kept my head leveled.”
My eyes closed for a moment. Feelings, old familiar feelings, ignited within me. A kaleidoscope of desire, lust, affection, terror, all swirled and warred for dominance.
“So what happened? Are you okay?”
Rome let out a long and heavy sigh. “Well…”
He went on to explain a recent situation with a communications manager—a woman who tried to date him, to boot.
Admittedly, I was not surprised by the rumors that had already churned.
Given Bill’s reaction as I sat next to him in that camera well, I figured something might become of the way Number Sixteen made uncharacteristic conversation with a rando photographer.
Rome had no need to explain to me the silence surrounding gay professional sports players.
He alluded to my ex as he explained things, knowing that I was already aware of the code of silence.
I gained careful insight into the inner workings of Rome’s mind.
His reclusion came about due to precious reflection and constant prayer.
He told me how he let loose a fantasy of fully coming out and worked through how that would impact the other players.
He genuinely seemed not to care about how it might impact his own career, but rather the team as a whole.
Over his professional career, Rome told me how he had strengthened his mind, how he forced out thoughts to focus on ones that mattered.
A certain kind of concentration I knew existed for many pro athletes.
The training that went into their bodies also went into their minds.
I did not feel offended when he revealed that over the past five days, prolonged conversations with me would distract him from that concentration.
In fact, it was a compliment. Someone with his mental fortitude shattered at the thought of simply me.
“I want to take a step in the right direction,” he revealed to me after a long, protracted explanation through which I stayed silent.
“Oh yeah? Which direction is that?”
“Coming out to my team,” he said, and I choked on my spit. Sat up on the couch and brought him with me.
“Rome, what?” I asked. “You’re only out to a few of them.”
I saw determination in his eyes. The hardened look of a targeted gaze, the same one I saw when he was up to bat.
He saw this as a fastball. The perfect pitch for a home run.
“My biggest concern is the team. The Riders. The franchise itself. I don’t want one of them hearing and passing along a rumor.
It undermines our camaraderie and deteriorates our team building.
Publicly is a different story. And…” he shrugged.
“Someone might leak it to the press. I’ll talk to Emma about that.
But I think—no, I know —this is the right direction. ”
I sank lower into the couch and held up the phone so I didn’t show a double chin. “That’s incredible. You seem so sure of it, too.”
He nodded. “I needed time to go through it. To walk through everything in my mind.” He lowered his head and grinned at the camera. “Distraction free.”
“Well, now that you’ve thought it all the way through, you’ll need to figure out when . And preferably I can distract you at least some before that.” I bit my lip. All I wanted was to distract him now.
Oof. The alcohol opened the floodgates to a sudden fantasy. Summer heat. Night sky. Sweat-slick bodies. Climbing my way up the mountain of Rome.
“We’re flying back from Allentown as soon as the game is over on the fifteenth. I have the sixteenth off, and then a home game against the Barracudas on the seventeenth.”
“You won’t be too tired on the sixteenth? I can imagine your flight would get home pretty late.”
“Yeah. But. I’m making it a lazy day.”
I grinned. “Lazy video game day. With unhealthy takeout food.”
“So, you’re free?”
Nope. I had a shoot. But I’d reschedule it. “Absolutely.”
“Good. Bring your suit. Hiroshi is taking his family into Boston for the day so we can have the pool to ourselves.”
“Pool day in the middle of August? Twist my arm, why don’t you.”
Oh that playful smile on his face.
Which evaporated when he gave a face-splitting yawn. He covered his mouth and excused himself.
“Get to sleep,” I said before he could say anything. “I’m glad you called. And I want you to know I’m not mad. I understand why you were quiet. I’ve already seen how your body can do amazing things and now I know your mind…” I let my voice trail. That was not how I wanted to say that.
“Please. Don’t distract me by saying that. Yikes.”
I laughed. “I’m gonna let you go before I say anything more.”
“That’s probably for the best. I’ll text you tomorrow?”
“Perfect. Talk to you then. Sweet dreams,” I said and kissed the camera.
“ Sogni d’oro ,” Rome said in beautiful Italian. He kissed the air, too, waved, and ended the call.
Now sufficiently hard with naked Number Sixteen in my mind, I took care of business and then slept like the dead.