Chapter Thirteen Rome
I HADN ’ T FELT nerves this severe since my first MLB game.
My stomach clamped together, fingertips went numb along with my toes.
Even my vision narrowed into a tunnel. I had been hyperventilating until Hiroshi slugged me in the arm to shake me from near hysteria.
That helped ground me while we flew thirty-thousand feet somewhere over Georgia.
I had told both Hiroshi and Emma I wanted to tell the guys as early in the flight as possible.
We all sat in leathered luxury. The New England Riders was one of the few MLB teams that had their own airplane.
Rows of twin leather chairs lined the majority of the fuselage with a wide aisle in between.
I sat near the front and had been resting my elbows on my knees after the captain announced we reached cruising altitude.
Emma wasn’t too far, sitting closer to the front of the plane and staring at me the whole time.
She suggested I use the intercom but that felt odd to me.
She also assured me that the staff and flight attendants onboard had all signed NDAs before taking up employment with the Riders.
“Now is the perfect time,” she had told me when we were boarding.
A second slug from Hiroshi knocked me back to reality.
Errantly, I wished Alex were somewhere in the crowd so I could focus on him.
I hated that we were doing this odd communication fasting until tomorrow.
I starved to hear his voice. What texts we traded were short and void of anything of substance.
What’s more, I detected that something was off, something I couldn’t figure out until he told me.
His brother hadn’t come with us during the trip and that only set off more alarm bells. I prayed for his safety.
“They’re gonna start falling asleep soon,” Hiroshi told me in that cool and calculated tone of his. “Now or never, Romo.”
I looked up from the carpeted floor. Emma had been staring. She exuded confidence in her eyes that I envied, someone who lived just on the outskirts of scandal and never had to actually partake.
She nodded. I stood and she popped to her feet.
“All right,” she said at high volume, “everyone, listen up.” A round of grumbling rumbled through the fuselage.
“This will only take a sec, okay? Perry, headphones. Garcia, shut it and listen.” She went through four more people until finally the entire team, almost forty sets of eyes, all stared at her.
And then at me.
I stood at the front of the plane. Light turbulence rocked me and I was thankful for the opportunity to grab something to hide my shaking hands.
“Hey guys,” I said.
“Speak up!” someone from the back shouted.
I found Brett near the front. He had been grinning like an idiot. He double raised his eyebrows and then blew me a kiss.
I laughed, shook my head, and felt the tension on my back release.
“All right,” I said loudly. “I’m into dudes.
Please hold all gay jokes until I’m done talking.
” An uneasy round of laughter. I scanned faces, targeting ones I knew might be a problem.
No judgment. At least not yet. “I don’t like keeping this a secret but you need to know.
I’m gay. My family already knows. I came out to them years ago.
” I cleared my throat. I had practiced a speech but that completely vacated from my head like a tenant with overdue rent.
But these were my boys. They knew me and I knew them.
“I’m trying to keep this quiet. The media doesn’t know and I don’t want them to know.
You guys are like family though and it makes sense to—”
“Dude, no shit,” someone called out from somewhere in the middle.
I narrowed my vision and found Rodgers, a shortstop who lived up to his name in height.
Everyone looked at him. “Oh, come on guys. We knew.” He then looked at me.
“We all knew.” His shoulders went up and down in a quick shrug. “Ain’t no big deal to me. Right guys?”
The majority of people agreed. My eyebrows went up and I took a step back. “Wait… you guys… you already figured it out?”
Someone in the front, Perry, threw up his hands. “Shit, Romo, really? I think I saw a poll the other day that rated you our hottest player. And nobody has ever seen a girl on your arm? That’s not too hard to figure out.”
I blinked. “But… no one ever…”
Rodgers continued. “Dude, it’s called respectin’ privacy. We don’t care. I mean, Brett is clearly in love with you, but that’s between you guys.”
Brett launched to his feet, pretended to grab his heart, and dramatically stumbled up the aisle until he crashed into me. “They know! They know about us!” he shouted as the plane erupted in laughter.
I playfully shoved him off me as he pretended to go in for a big, wet kiss.
Hiroshi stood and the plane hushed. “If anybody has a problem, come and talk to me. But we do need to continue to respect Romo’s privacy.
No talking to the media. If anyone tries to catch you off guard, tell Emma and she can get it sorted out.
We thought it was best to tell you now so you have time to digest. I want to emphasize, though, that this changes nothing.
He’s still our Romo-cop and one of the best hitters in the league.
” Hiroshi grew a sly grin and said, “He just happens to like baseball bats more than we originally thought.”
A fresh round of laughter and playful ribbing undulated through the plane. My face went burgundy red as Hiroshi escorted me back to my seat. Emma finished up with some token “you’re expected to do...” speech that I politely ignored.
I wanted to text Alex. He was the first person on my mind to share in my elation.
Instead, I pulled out my phone and found the family thread that only had my parents and siblings.
A barrage of responses came within the blink of an eye.
I had to click my phone off and turn away, looking out the window and forcing myself to stay centered.
Mist sprouted across my eyes as a lump grew in my throat.
They were ceaselessly proud of me, in all things, in all ways.
My family was like a never-ending fount of pride for their son and brother.
In the aftermath, it all felt… easy . Terribly easy. So much so that I wondered why I never did this to begin with. Yes, there were a few faces in the crowd that seemed perturbed, but Emma and Hiroshi could deal with them afterward. On the whole, though? I felt silly for being so nervous.
Wasn’t that the way of things? You suffer a thousand self-inflicted wounds before you realize nothing was ever wrong.
Brett crashed into the seat next to me and grabbed my arm like a lifeline. “You stud , you did it!” He then let go and elbowed the same arm. “Have you texted Alec yet?”
We hadn’t spoken often about the man he briefly saw that night at Hiroshi’s party. Brett knew, however, that I wanted to advance into something deeper with Alex.
I shook my head no. “Not yet, at least. I’m seeing him tomorrow.”
Brett nodded toward my phone. “Come on, man, you should at least text him the good news. An entire plane of baseball bros elated their boy is a big ol’ gay?”
Again, I shook my head and laughed to ease the growing hesitation in my stomach. “It’s… complicated right now. I don’t want to bother him.”
Brett deflated a fraction as his brows drew together. “Hey man, is everything all right?”
“Oh, yeah, everything is fine. We’re going slow. Things got heavy too quickly and he’s got some extra baggage he wants to offload before putting his attention on me.”
Brett bobbed his head in agreement. “Okay, okay. You go at your own pace” He reached over and clapped me on the shoulder. “Okay. Next one.”
I gave him a confused look as Brett stood and Rodgers slipped into the seat. “Hold on, let me get you your booster seat,” I told him.
Rodgers reached down and pinched the spot above my knee with his thumb and forefinger. Short he may be, but his forearms were the size of tree trunks. His grip strength shot into my muscles like a vise. I howled until he pulled his hand away.
“Congrats, brother,” Rodgers said. “Really. I mean that. I’m happy for you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, man.”
Rodgers stood and then another teammate dropped into the open seat.
The lump in my throat grew bigger but I managed to keep it all together.
A steady rotation of my teammates graced my presence, each with kind words and congratulatory remarks.
It took almost an hour, but nearly all of my teammates had stopped by.
A few were noticeably absent and I made a mental note, but that felt more like someone else’s territory than mine.
Hiroshi closed out the chain and stayed there until we landed.
I didn’t arrive home until dawn.
?
A persistent buzzing pulled me from my slumber. I grumbled and rolled in bed, then shot out a hand to my nightstand to locate the source of my woe. My hands gripped my phone. With bleary eyes, I gazed at the screen, then sharpened into focus when I saw the name.
“Alex,” I said as I answered. My voice came out distorted and tired. I cleared my throat. “Alex, hey.”
“Aw, I woke you,” came his voice on the other end. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be up by now.”
I glanced around the room until I found my alarm clock. “Oh, it’s past noon. I should be up by now anyway.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry, Rome. I can’t imagine how tired you are.”
I sat up in bed and ran my hand over my face. “It’s fine. Really. Hey, it’s a great way to wake up. I missed the sound of your voice.”
Alex gave a breathy laugh. “That’s sweet of you to say. Hey, I was wondering if we could change our plans tonight a little?”
I fully woke up. My eyes widened and whatever sleepiness cloyed my senses vanished. “Of course. What did you have in mind? Did you need to reschedule or…?”
Another chuckle. “Are you kidding? I’ve been dying to see you. No, I was hoping we could change the where portion? Can I come there for our dinner? I hate to ask. Feels intrusive to—”
“Give me one hour,” I interrupted. “I’ll make something. Hope you’re okay with a late lunch slash early dinner. I’m starved.”
“Really? You’re okay with me coming over so soon?”
I pulled the covers off and stretched out my long legs. “I mean, I prefer to wake up next to you, but I can wait an hour. It gives me enough time to get to the store.”
“Oh, hell, Rome, no. You don’t have to make food. We can order out.”
“You keep chatting my ear off like this, and I’ll have to tell you two hours.”
Another laugh, like church bells on a summer evening. “All right, all right. One hour.”
“One hour. Can’t wait.”