Chapter 2
Two
Confession, according to the Oxford English Dictionary:
The disclosing of something the knowledge of which by others is considered humiliating or prejudicial to the person confessing; a making known or acknowledging of one’s fault, wrong, crime, weakness, etc.
Drake House, Guildford, County Surrey
Miss Florentia Baldwin let the smile fall from her face as the earl walked away.
The man was handsome, polite, and graceful.
The waltz had not been nearly as painful as she’d thought it might be.
She had not flinched when his hand settled on her back.
Her mother caught her eye and smiled from across the room.
Lady Tarlton was pleased to see her only daughter dancing again. That alone buoyed her spirits.
The new gown had helped convince her to attend. She wore a plush velvet gown of Apollo gold, with tiny gold sequins sewn along the hem of the skirt and sleeves. Topaz earrings glittered at her neck, along with a net of more gold sequins sparkling around her chignon.
“It wasn’t so bad, eh?” asked her best friend’s husband, Simon, Viscount Baldwin. He gazed down upon her, his dark hair curling beneath his ears as his blue-gray eyes twinkled. “According to Meg, you’ve been in mourning long enough.”
“It’s been three years. Could you forget your wife in three years?” she tossed back.
He chuckled. “She’d haunt me mercilessly.”
“Are you talking about me?” asked Lady Baldwin. Her green eyes narrowed as she surveyed her husband, who leaned forward and pulled one of her blonde curls. “You have that gleam in your eyes.”
“Only because you put it there.” Lord Baldwin kissed his wife’s cheek. “We were discussing the length of time Miss Florentia has avoided the male species.”
“I do not avoid men. I’m speaking with you, aren’t I?” Tia crossed her arms over her chest, wishing this conversation would end. “George was my heart. How can I marry another when no one else compares?”
Lord George Carlton had been the third son of a marquess.
He’d swept Tia off her feet the first week of her second Season.
A second Season only needed because she’d turned down several proposals during her first, much to the dismay of her parents.
Two months later, he’d fallen from his horse during a fox hunt and broken his neck.
Tia had been devastated, swearing he would live on in her heart forever.
The thought of someone other than George kissing her made her cringe.
“You’ve been my closest friend since we were five, so don’t pretend with me,” said Meg, her arm slipping through her husband’s. “You will never be happy as a spinster, without a family of your own.”
“I have a family, thank you.” Tia scanned the crowd and wondered how soon she could escape to her bedchamber.
Or hide in the garden. She knew Meg was happy and in love and only wanted Tia to feel the same.
While she was thrilled Meg had shaken off the stigma of her first marriage and found Simon—and love—again, Tia wasn’t inclined to do the same.
She enjoyed not answering to anyone but her parents, who, at this point, didn’t seem to care if she married or not.
Her father was content with his viscountcy, even if her mother longed for a good match for Tia. Meaning someone higher in rank.
“A mother and father do not make a family. You adore children,” scolded Meg, then softened her tone. “You have so much to offer, Tia. Beauty, wit, compassion, loyalty—it would be a sin to deprive some lucky man of a life with you.”
Tia snorted. “I’m not such a prize. Besides, Simon’s sister is not married.”
Meg opened her mouth, then closed it. Tia smiled, knowing she had won, and the subject would be dropped. “Speaking of Lady Adeline, here she is now.”
A lovely young woman with dark umber hair and luminous gray eyes joined their small group.
She wore flowing Aurora-colored satin that almost matched the shade of Tia’s red hair.
“Mr. Whitt only stepped on my foot twice. I suppose I’ll consider that an improvement from the last time.
” Addie smacked Lord Hayward on the arm with her fan.
“Brother, please do not sit me next to him at dinner. He smells of garlic, and his nose drips.”
Simon was taking a sip of punch and began choking. “That tongue of yours is wicked, Sister.”
“I was taught by the best,” she quipped back. “Tia, shall we slip away before dinner? I’m not hungry, anyway.”
“I wish I could, but Mama would break into tears. She’s thrilled to see me attend this dance and participate. But immediately after dinner?” Tia grinned at Addie, who had become a cherished friend over the past few months. “I have a new romance novel I just finished.”
Simon rolled his eyes, but Meg and Addie’s brightened. “It’s a date,” agreed Lady Adeline.
The two young ladies sat on the four-poster bed, giggling. “And then he told me my eyes were like saucers. I asked him if he thought I was bottleheaded,” said Addie. “He quickly replied, ‘No, my lady, of course not.’ So I asked him why he would compare my eyes to an empty, round plate.”
“Simon is right. You are wicked!” Tia loved this girl. She had her brother’s audacity. “How long are you staying here at Drake House?”
“Oh, only a few more days. Mama wants to get back to London and potential suitors.” Addie rolled her eyes. “If it wasn’t for Simon, she’d have me married and with child by now.”
“He’s quite the hero,” agreed Tia, thinking if she found a man like Lord Hayward, she might be tempted. But men of his quality were rare.
Simon had confronted his parents when they objected to his betrothal to Meg. They disapproved of her being a widow and feared the scandal of her late husband’s death—dying in a duel over another man’s wife—would reflect their family and Addie’s chances of marriage.
Addie had refused to let her parents use her as an excuse and threatened to run off to Gretna Green with the first commoner who would have her. Simon had then declared that he would also protect his sister from an unwanted marriage.
Tia sighed. Simon was so romantic. “So has anyone caught your eye?” she asked.
Addie shook her head, her dark hair falling over her shoulders in long waves, glinting blue-black under the candlelight. “Most of them are so dull. They think women are simple creatures, and I scare them away with my opinions on male subjects. I want a man who isn’t afraid of an intelligent woman.”
“You’ll find him,” assured Tia with confidence.
“And so will you.” Addie squeezed Tia’s hand. “Your past fiancé would not want you to be alone. What are you afraid of?”
“Afraid?” That came out a little too loud. Tia shook her head. “I’m not, I just…”
“What frightens you about falling in love?” insisted Addie.
Tia let out a long, agitated sigh. “The pain.” She closed her eyes. She’d finally admitted it.
“Of losing someone?”
“Yes, grief is unbearable. You don’t understand.” Tia blinked back the tears she thought she’d banished long ago. It wasn’t so much the memory of George that kept her from opening her heart again, but the memory of the pain when she’d lost him. “I can’t go through that again.”
“Not to diminish your feelings, but everyone experiences loss. You can’t hide from it.” Addie hugged her. “People die every day. Will you give up our friendship because I’ll leave you one day, or will you be grateful for the years we spent together as true friends?”
Tia opened her mouth to argue but saw the logic in Addie’s argument. “You and Meg are so dear to me. But it’s a different kind of love and a different kind of grief.”
“I imagine the suddenness made it worse,” Addie said empathetically, a sparkle in her gray eyes. “But you must try. Even if it’s not on parade in Town, you must venture out in the world again and give love a chance to find you.”
“I have! Here I am at a house party, dancing the waltz with a handsome man.”
“How did it feel?”
“Foreign. Strange, yet not unpleasant,” admitted Tia. “I do believe house parties may be the way to come out again. I can meet people in smaller groups and actually get to know them.”
“You mean men?” Addie smiled. “Have you met Simon’s friend, Mr. William Page?”
Tia shook her head.
“He’s a barrister, went to university with Simon, and they’ve kept in touch. Quite handsome, youngest son of the Earl of Beecham.” Addie’s dark brows waggled up and down. “I thought Simon was inviting him here, but either he changed his mind or Mr. Page couldn’t make it.”
“It sounds as if you’re interested.” Tia grinned. “I would never steal one of your beaus.”
“He’s not. I’m sure we’ll meet up with him at one point. If you come back to London.” It was a question.
“I don’t know,” said Tia, shrugging. “We’ll see.”
Early June 1821
Drake House
Tia, Addie, and Meg sat on a blanket, the vast emerald-green lawn stretching down to a bubbling stream, where fish occasionally jumped into the air and disappeared again into the swiftly moving water.
Tia and Addie’s parents were playing croquet, and the girls were enjoying the mild weather and catching Meg up with the latest on-dits.
“Lady Hayward,” said Mr. Farrell, “when would you like food brought out?”
Meg squinted up at the butler, holding her hand over her eyes. “Could you arrange for them to arrive in the next hour?”
“Very good, ma’am.”
“Mr. Page seems to enjoy children,” observed Tia, then laughed.
Simon was showing Tommy, the stableboy, his technique for skipping stones. Chipper, a scruffy terrier mix, jumped up and down each time a rock was thrown. Simon’s friend, William Page, laughed as Tommy beat Simon.
The handsome barrister was tall, with light-brown hair and an infectious smile. Tia found him quite entertaining as he told rousing stories each evening of his youth.
“He does. He’s also a devoted brother and son, from what I understand. And making quite a name for himself in court.” Meg looked from Tia to Addie. “Anyone interested?”
“I will be loved to distraction or be alone,” Addie said, her gray eyes flashing as she pulled on one dark curl. “And Simon said he would protect me from any more of our parents’ machinations.”
“I’ll take that as a no from you,” Meg said to her sister-in-law.
Tia could feel Meg’s eyes on her, so she shrugged.
In truth, she was attracted to the man. Very attracted.
From their very first meeting. She’d felt a sizzle straight up her arm when he’d bent and kissed her gloved hand.
The encounter had been frightening and exhilarating all at once. A feeling she’d never had before.
Her stomach flipped now as she observed the men.
They had removed their riding coats, wearing only their shirts and waistcoats.
The riding breeches fit Mr. Page’s thighs like her gloves molded to her fingers.
The linen shirt stretched across a broad chest, and she wondered how he was so fit if he spent his days at the Old Bailey.
Her heart thudded as she watched him reach down and scratch the dog’s head.
His profile showed a straight nose, square chin, and seductive lips.
It was the first time in three years that Tia had wondered what a man’s mouth would feel like against hers.
Well, his mouth, not just any random man.
She felt eyes upon her—Meg and Addie were watching her. Could they tell what she was thinking? That must end.
“Love is a sneaky snake,” said Tia. “It slithers up behind you and”—she clapped her hands together loudly, making the girls jump—“you’re bitten, with no cure.”
“Will you be bitten soon?” Addie asked, her gaze drifting to Mr. Page. “A certain someone is always stealing glances when he thinks you aren’t looking.”
Florentia smiled and tilted her head in thought. “I doubt it but never say never. It will bite you in the backside.” They all chuckled.
“The man is never serious,” Tia said. “I’ve tried to hold an intelligent conversation with him.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Addie asked, grinning as she patted her heart. “There are so many other things to do with a man of his… caliber.”