11. Levi
11
“ I t didn’t occur to me to ask if you like fish.” I say as we clean up. I’m rinsing and loading the dishwasher while Tessa and Jackson clear the table. She fiddled with her food more than Jackson does when I give him a plate of greens and barely looked my way.
“I like fish,” Tessa says dryly. Or maybe it’s not dry. Maybe her voice is a little shaky.
The three times she’s spoken since getting home has been distant. It’s setting off all kinds of alarms.
Did I push it this morning when I touched her?
I get my answer when my reflexes catch the salad bowl that slips from her hands.
She’s tired .
“Listen, why don’t you head upstairs? I can take it from here.”
Tessa shakes her head. “I promised Jackson a movie night.”
“Yeah, movie night. I’ll pick the movie.” My kid cheers, racing for the remote like either of us had a shot.
Setting the bowl down, I catch her hand, ready to insist she go to bed .
Averting her gaze, she breaks free. “I’m fine. It’s early. I’m good,” she claims. “But I am a bit warm. I’m just going to change and come back down.”
I nod. “Take your time, we’ll make some popcorn.”
I pop a bag into the microwave and head to the living room.
“Hey,” I grab Jackson’s waist and twist him with a tickle. He wiggles in my arms. “Tell me something. How was your day?”
“It was so fun. We got to paint, and I stacked Harry Potter books and then Charlie let me set up the reading buddies table.”
“Nice. What about Tessa? Did you look out for her like daddy would have?”
“No, I was nice to her.” He wiggles free and hops on the couch.
Fuck.
Here I thought I’d been raising my kid to be a gentleman. But apparently, my actions speak louder than words.
“So…nothing happened? Everyone else was nice to her too? Anything that might have upset her?”
He considers it for a moment, then shakes his head.
Paranoid. I’m paranoid. And my kid is left to deal with it.
I ruffle his hair.
“Okay, I’m ready for movie night. What are we watching?”
We both turn to Tessa coming down the stairs. Her hair is tied up loosely over her head. Strands of red curls framing her face. She’s in pale pink pajama pants and a white tank top.
And fuck, she looks like the one thing that’s been missing on movie nights.
Her skin is freshly washed, possibly moisturized and it’s almost like she got her second wind.
The microwave dings, snapping me back to reality, and I move to the kitchen without a word .
“We’re watching Jumanji,” my son raves. “Are you in?”
“I’m so in.”
I return with a large bowl of popcorn as Tessa grabs the faded family throw, wrapping it around her shoulders and settling into the couch.
It was my mother's. Dad used to wrap Jackson in it when he was a baby, insisting it was better than those useless swaddles. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her use it to her comfort and I’m surprised at how much I appreciate it. Especially since anyone outside our family has always been turned off by the ragged old blanket.
I clear my throat, sitting on the long side of the L-shape couch. “I’d ask you if you’re comfortable, but you look it.”
She grins sleepily. “Thank you.”
We’re barely twenty minutes into the movie, and I’m not sure Tessa is going to make it. Her eyes flutter closed every few seconds. I could practically feel the weight of them.
I should tell her to go upstairs. That her “shift” ended hours ago, but I don’t want to. Something about her here with us, even asleep, feels…complete.
When her eyelids finally fall, I guide her gently onto the pillows in the corner. The throw still wrapped around her shoulders as she falls sideways onto them.
Jackson peers over and I shrug. “More popcorn for us.”
He seems sad for a moment, and I’m on alert. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
“She was tired. She…she fell asleep in the car.”
I nod absently, reaching for another blanket, and freeze, twisting my neck to look at him. “What did you say?”
He hesitates.
“Jackson?”
“She asked me not to say anything. ”
Something sharp hits my chest, but I keep my tone even. “Right, but we don’t do that anymore, right? We don’t lie to Daddy about important things.”
He nods.
“We were in traffic and she kept closing her eyes. We almost hit another car. I think she fell asleep.”
I release a breath and pull him against my side. “You alright?” I rasp.
He nods but I can tell he feels guilty. “Thanks for letting me know, buddy.”
I cover Tessa’s legs with the other blanket and lower the volume as we finish the movie.
Later, I tuck him in and change into a sleep shirt and shorts before returning downstairs.
She hasn’t moved. The family room is dark, the only light illuminating her face are the porch lights we always keep on.
I set a pillow across from her on the couch and sit against it, staring like a therapist observing his patient.
Trying to understand her.
She put my kid in danger today. And God knows who else around her.
Who the hell wakes up at four in the morning each day?
Enough is enough. If she’s going to have my kid in her care, she’s getting some goddamn sleep.
Even if I have to lose some myself to ensure it.
That is if I don’t fire her for making my kid lie to me.
I hear little steps coming down. “Dad?”
I sit up. “Hey, what’s going on? Thought you were asleep.”
He’s got his dolphin light when he comes around to me. “Tessa bought me this today.”
“Charlie brought you that a few weeks ago. ”
“I know. But Tessa told me she’s afraid of the dark too.” He places the dolphin light next to her. “Now we’re nightlight buddies.”
I rub his back. “That’s really sweet of you.”
“And she doesn’t like to sleep with closed doors. So good idea to let her stay down here.” He looks down at her with a small smile. “Told you he’ll keep you safe.”
I swallow a hard lump in my throat. All I ever wanted was for him to feel that. That I’d always keep him safe and loved. It took Tessa coming around for him to let me know that he does. I stand. “Come on, let’s get you back upstairs.”
“I’m okay, Dad. You stay here.”
“You sure?”
He nods and says goodnight.
I don’t know how long I stay up looking at her, wondering what the hell I’m going to do with the information she tried to hide.
But eventually, my eyelids fall heavy and I give in.
Faint whimpering in the darkness reaches my ears. My eyes fly open finding Tessa still asleep but disturbed. Her lips part with a breathy “No.”
I’m over to the edge of the couch in a flash. “Tess.”
Her eyes are shut, her body restless as she shifts in place, moving backward like she’s stuck. “No.”
I put a hand on her arm, wary of scaring her awake. “Tessa.” It’s a whisper, but I’m ready to shake her until she’s alert and knows she’s safe.
Her breathing accelerates and she jolts with a sharp gasp, sucking air into her lungs like she’s been stabbed.
Her head snaps to me and she screams. I grab her face between my hands. “It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s me. You’re okay. ”
Tessa's breaths come rapid and heavy. Her chest, forehead, and neck are damp. “Indie.”
“Yes, it’s me.” I swipe back loose strands of her hair.
She nods and then covers her face. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. What time is it?”
“Not time to wake up yet. Go back to sleep.”
She lowers her hands, staring at me like I’m crazy. “What? No. I can't.”
“Tessa. It’s the middle of the night.”
“No.” She looks away, curling into herself. “I won’t fall asleep. I’ve tried.”
“Stay here.” I lift the old throw over her shoulders and push to my feet, returning a few minutes later with warm chamomile tea. Tessa’s knees are pulled up to her chin, watching me warily. “Drink this.”
She takes the mug, staring at it.
“Don’t worry, poisoning is your thing, not mine.”
She glances around awkwardly. “Sorry I fell asleep here. Did I wake you?”
“No.” I watch her take a sip, treading carefully. “Bad dream?”
“Yeah.” Her gaze flicks to the plush dolphin with the nose light.
“Lie down.”
She hesitates.
“I’m not asking. You need rest. More than four hours.” There’s an unmistakable edge in my voice. And I’m no longer reluctant to use it with her.
Her eyes lock with mine, and she bites the corner of her lip. “I’ll try.”
I give her a curt nod. “I’ll be here.” Taking her mug, I settle back across from her and sip slowly.
For someone who claimed it was impossible, Tessa’s asleep within minutes.
And stays asleep for another few hours .
Between studying her features and drinking what’s left of the cold tea, I’ve been trying to come up with an appropriate way to deal with what happened last night. The danger she put my kid in.
The lie.
Nothing but ‘ What the hell does she dream about?’ consumes my mind.
This isn’t new.
Something in the way she rose. There was no panic in her eyes—just a weary acceptance that expressed familiarity.
This wasn’t the first time she’d been haunted in her sleep. Whatever that was, Tessa lives with it.
I press my finger to my mouth, shushing Jackson when he comes down close to eight o’clock.
He sees Tessa sound asleep on the couch, and I wink at him.
“Dad, it worked. Must be the dolphin.”
I spread butter on toast and set it next to his banana. “Must be.”
“Are you going to work today?”
“Of course.”
“Can Tessa and I come? She’s been asking for a tour.”
“I’m going to be too busy for that, buddy, maybe some other—”
“Good morning.”
Her raspy voice cuts through the air, pulling my gaze. She steps into the kitchen tentatively. Her hair tousled, falling in waves around her shoulders, framing that freckled face. I try not to notice the way it glows in the soft morning light.
Quietly, she moves to the coffee pot, filling the mug I prepared for myself. I can’t look away as she takes a slow sip, humming softly.
“Morning. ”
Looking me in the eyes for the first time since coming home last night, she tucks her hair behind her ear. “Thank you for letting me sleep in.”
“You’re welcome.”
She turns to Jackson with a warm, genuine smile. I can’t remember the last time he got one of those besides from immediate family.
“Thanks for Willy, Wiggles.”
“You named him? It sounds like mine. I love it.”
She laughs, and there’s appreciation in her eyes that makes me forget I’m mad at her.
“Jackson wanted to give you a tour of the ranch today,” I say stiffly, giving my son credit for his thoughtfulness. “Unfortunately, we’re all—”
“Really?” Her eyes go wide with excitement. “Oh, I won’t bother anyone. I don’t even need an official tour guide. Jackson could totally show me the ropes.”
I suck in a slow breath. “I can’t just have you walking around. Wouldn't be safe if the animals got loose. You two could get lost. What if it starts raining?”
“We won’t wander, will we, kid?”
Jackson cheers. “I know everything about the ranch. I hang out with Dad all the time when school's out.”
I sigh. “Fine.” I whip out my phone. “Roger will supervise.”
“Supervise?” Tess jerks.
I don’t need to explain myself. “Yes. I’ll see if Roger can give you a short tour and still stay close to the pasture.” I step out of the room to make the call and get ready to head out.
When I return minutes later, Tessa’s prepared a small plate for herself. Berries, cheese and a scrambled egg.
“Better appetite this morning?”
She frowns, looking at the plate as if she didn’t realize what she was doing. “Huh. Yeah, I’m kind of famished. ”
The idea that the nightmares and nausea may be linked is sending my protective curiosity spiraling.
I hate that I don’t know what’s going on with her.
Because she’s taking care of my kid—obviously. There’s no other reason to care.
None.
“We can have breakfast together, Curly.”
She takes a seat next to my kid. “Curly?”
“Yeah. You like it? Wiggles and Curly. Ranch Adventures.”
Tessa frowns. “Why not Curly and Wiggles?”
Jackson rolls his eyes. “Fine. Women.”
My lips are a tight thin line. I won’t be swayed by their blooming friendship.
“Be ready in an hour. I’ll come back and walk you two over.” I point to my kid with a stern look. And I know he reads me loud and clear. “No wandering off unless Roger is with you.”
They nod once, simultaneously, and I shake my head as I step out into the heat.