17. Magic Dick
17
MAGIC DICK
Elodie
“So how’s it working out, keeping your hands off him?” Kenji asks several days later, ever so innocently, while presenting the damning evidence on his phone of a kiss between Gage and me. “Judging from this engagement photo, not well at all.”
He gives me a busted smile. We’re at the shop on Tuesday morning before it opens and my girls are here too, checking out the pics I posted from last week’s staged proposal.
Keeping my hands off Gage is hard. Keeping my mouth shut about it is even harder as the other day, and night, proved.
But that’s just for me to know.
“That was a staged photo,” I say, deflecting, then I slide a tray of chocolates to my taste-test crew at a table in the back of the shop. It’s been zero to sixty as we prep for our first night at Special Edition later this week. “Now, stop distracting me. And try this. The opening night sampler needs to be amazing.”
“As amazing as this pic of the lovebirds,” Rachel teases as she stares pointedly at my social feed.
Admittedly, it did feel a little weird to put our fake engagement photo on the feed for the store. Sure, I post plenty of other photos of myself serving chocolate, making chocolate, and setting out the chocolates for the day on the store’s feed. I’m not camera shy, and I do play the role of the cheery chocolatier. But it’s usually chocolate and me, not… me . These photos don’t have that much to do with chocolate, but I understand the romance part of the image that we’re selling for the pop-up. I shouldn’t really feel bad that I’m not telling the truth on social media. No one does anyway.
But I do feel a layer of guilt roiling in the pit of my stomach.
Or maybe I feel bad knowing how much Felix likes our romance. He’s already commented with several hearts.
I have a job to do though, so I laser in on it. “Be my guinea pigs,” I say authoritatively to my friends, gesturing to the trays of chocolates. Time to focus on chocolate, not lust. I’ve assembled the brain trust for their palates. Rachel’s here and she’s my longtime bestie. I’ve known her since shortly after college—we’ve even shared the same shrink. Juliet’s her sister, and she’s here too. And our newest friend Fable’s at the table as well. She used to work at Rachel’s jewelry shop but recently landed a primo gig designing merch for the Renegades—one of the city’s football teams. She’s brassy and bold, and I adore her. Hazel couldn’t make it this morning since she had to shoot some promo videos for her next romance novel.
“I’ll go first,” Fable says, reaching for a dark chocolate square, then adopting a snooty pose and an erudite accent. “Now, dahling, do tell me all about this chocolate.”
Kenji side-eyes her. “Is British royalty coming to her pop-up opening?”
“Love, don’t you know? Everyone is coming,” Fable says, still queen-like.
“Also, doesn’t pop-up opening sound kind of naughty?” Juliet asks with a quirk in her lips.
“Along with everyone is coming, ” Rachel stage whispers.
Kenji clears his throat, shooting daggers at each and every one of the troublemakers. “Ahem, ladies, focus. Chocolate. Now.”
“Hello! You’re the one who said I sounded British. You began the distraction,” Fable says to Kenji with a defiant flick of her copper hair and a return to her voice.
“And I am ending it,” he says, firmly, clapping his hands once. “Now eat.”
I gesture to the tray. “We’re starting with a flirty theme for the first night,” I explain. “So this chocolate is raspberries with a little champagne flavor.”
“Real champagne?” Rachel asks, intrigued.
I shake my head. “It’s not actually liquor. This chocolate has popping candy in it that makes it feel like champagne bubbles in your mouth.”
“Oh, chocolate is magic,” Juliet says, her big green eyes widening.
Rachel smiles warmly at her sister. “Never change, my hopeless romantic,” she says, then pops the square into her mouth and moans.
Fable follows suit and groans carnally.
Juliet’s next and she gasps for a good, long time.
I beam.
“And we have a winner,” Kenji declares, then turns to me, his brown eyes glittering. “I told you those would be perfect with the cocktails. Mister Cocktail will make champagne-themed drinks that night,” he explains since he’s been helping with planning.
“Mister Cocktail,” Fable snickers.
I roll my eyes. “Just eat the next one,” I urge, pointing to the tray with the chocolate-covered cherries. “They’re made with dark chocolate and a cherry filling I canned this summer from fresh farmers market cherries.”
Fable flaps a hand in front of her face. “My mouth is watering.”
She grabs one, and Rachel and Juliet do the same. Rachel finishes first, with glossy eyes, saying, “I really hope Carter gets home early from practice because this chocolate is turning me on.”
“Yes!” My grin spreads to my whole body as I high-five Kenji.
“That’s what we want,” he says. “Also, I hope your man gets home early too.”
“Thanks. Oh!” Rachel bounces in her chair with obvious excitement, fiddling with her heart necklace. “Did you know Carter is friends with Hot Daddy?”
I tilt my head toward Rachel, curious. “Who’s Hot Daddy?”
Juliet rolls her eyes. “Elodie, hot daddy is obviously one of your fiancé’s many nicknames.”
Kenji goes thoughtful. “I do love a daddy. But can he be Inked Daddy?”
“Excellent nickname,” Fable says approvingly to the man next to me. “We’re keeping you in our crew.”
He clasps his hands together in appreciation. “Thank you.” Then to Rachel, he says, “Now, dish.”
I try not to be too curious. But I am on the edge of my seat as my bestie dives into the gossip pool. “Apparently they’re friends. Inked Daddy and Carter. And Monroe too,” Rachel adds, nodding to Juliet.
Juliet narrows her brow. “ Monroe ,” she grumbles since her podcast co-host on Heartbreakers and Matchmakers drives her crazy. The two of them are at each other’s throats a lot on the show with their whole frenemies vibe. Which is, admittedly, kind of hot.
“We’ll get to that Monroe soon enough. Keep going,” Kenji says, waving a hand at Rachel, eating up her story.
“And apparently you made quite the impression on Inked Daddy,” Rachel says to me, having too much fun doling out these details.
My pulse speeds up. Sure, I knew this because, well, I’ve experienced it. But hearing about his affection from someone else is next level. “Really?”
“Did you hear that? The way her voice pitched up?” Juliet asks, enjoying my reaction far too much.
“You bet I did,” Fable says, then we’re all little dogs waiting at Rachel’s feet for her to give us more kibble. Rachel looks right at me, a devilish grin on her face. “Evidently he said it was a damn shame that you weren’t having another date. He said you were incredible and”—she sketches air quotes—“‘she kept me on my toes like no one ever had.’”
It’s as if I ate a whole bar of chocolate with popping candy. I’m fizzy inside.
Kenji slaps my shoulder playfully. “You’re blushing!”
I lift a hand to my cheek, feeling heat. “No, I’m not.”
“Don’t deny it,” Fable chides.
“Fine, fine. It’s not a secret we had an amazing date,” I say. And an amazing sort-of-pretend second date where he nearly got me off with words in a coffee shop . “But now we’re not. And that’s fine too.” My stomach swoops with a fresh round of nerves. I hope we can pull this off. The pop-up, the plan, everything. “I mean, how hard will it be to resist him?”
It comes out rhetorical, but I mean it. We’ve sort of been good at resisting so far. Cheek kisses and dirty words surely count as resistance.
Rachel gives a sympathetic hum. “It’ll be harder than you think because you’ll have to make lovey eyes at him and touch his arm and hold hands and act like you’re in love as you work with him.”
Can confirm that’s hard .
Juliet nods seriously. “I bet all that fake stuff makes you want the real stuff.”
I sit up straighter. Steel myself. “I will not let myself be tempted by him, especially since I bet that man has got a major magic dick.”
Juliet scoffs. “I don’t believe in magic dick.”
“I do and I’d like to go to that church every single day,” Fable says, sounding a little like she’s already in the choir at that house of worship.
Rachel tuts. “There are a lot of people who believe in that but let me tell you, there’s no such thing.”
Kenji tosses a napkin at her. “Shut up. We all know you’re getting magic dick every night. You’re not allowed to talk to those of us who aren’t getting it.”
“Well, if you ever talked to that guy who helps out at Samira’s shop you might have a better chance.”
He lifts a stop-sign hand. “He’s too cute. I just can’t.”
“You should though. You’ve had a crush on her employee forever,” I add.
“Don’t remind me. He came in here the other day with his cute blond hair, and his cute white teeth, and his cute freckles, and I was like… hiiiii, help has I can you? ”
“So you’re definitely not getting magic dick,” Fable says dryly.
“I cock-block myself,” Kenji says.
Fable points to Rachel. “Then you need to hold your peace if you’re getting magic dicked down every night.”
Happily—like a woman getting it good—Rachel mimes zipping her lips, but Juliet jumps to her defense. “Look, my sister’s right. A man can’t just have one. He needs to know what to do with it.”
I wave my hand. “Semantics.”
“You don’t have sex with semantics,” Fable warns.
Rachel unzips her lips then points at me. “Well, she’s not having sex with semantics or with Gage.”
Kenji wraps an arm around me. “And she won’t. Because we can’t have hot mama getting distracted by daddy’s magic dick. Mama needs to make this store soar,” he says, finishing the last word like he’s singing in a musical, but I hear the desperation we both feel in his voice.
Even if Felix is sooo patriarchal , he’s not wrong. Romance is more likely to go wrong than right. I certainly don’t have a track record of successful relationships. I’ve had my heart broken more than once. I let men in easily. Too easily. Where are those ex-boyfriends now? Gone from my life. But Gage will decidedly be in my life for the next three months, and I don’t want to go to the pop-up every weekend to see the guy who hurt me. Which is what would happen if I let him further into my heart. Or into my panties again. Resolved, I add, “Exactly. Here’s to my no-fuck fiancé-ship,” I say, ready to charge ahead. “I’m adaptable. I’m flexible. It’s only three months. It’ll be fine. And you know what? Actually, it’ll be fun.”
“Fun?” Rachel asks, her tone dubious.
“He’s been a single dad pretty much his daughter’s entire life. So it’ll be educational. I can learn from him. I can grow as a parent. It’ll be useful.”
My friends all snicker at once. “That’s quite a spin job,” Rachel says. “You went from him having a major magic dick to you learning how to be a good mom.”
I dig my heels in. “A girl’s gotta try.”
Fable grabs another chocolate then holds it up high. “By the way, these chocolates taste like sex, so good luck not thinking about it with him.”
Later that day when I head to meet Gage at the pop-up, I do my best not to think about his magic dick.
How hard can it be? I didn’t even get to see it.