15. Gabe
15
GABE
I like to think I’ve seen nearly everything.
I’ve pulled mangled bodies out of cars that have crashed on the highway. I’ve witnessed hearts restarting in the back of ambulances as sirens blared. I’ve been called to some wild scenes at homes, featuring apples and broomsticks that have been stuck in openings where neither fruit nor cleaning supplies belong.
But this?
My best friend asking me to play sex charades?
This is the very definition of being thrown for one hell of a loop the loop. Here I was, sliding into the evening with one thing in mind: finding the best opening to let the woman know how I feel.
And while I was strutting down Feelings Street, she’s swept in front of me, cut me off, and taken a sharp left down Let’s Act It Out Lane.
I clear my throat. Drag my hand through my hair. Try to sort out my thoughts. “So we’re basically doing wrestling moves?”
“Exactly!” She nods enthusiastically, her smile spreading. Clearly, this project is important to her and delights her. I ought to find a way to share that excitement. But it’s admittedly a little hard.
Oh, wait. It’s my dick that’s still hard. Overeager fucker needs to back off. “Kind of like dance moves? Like we’re going to a dance class?”
“Yes. Like we’re rehearsing scenes. Think about us as actors on stage. They’re not really fencing, but they’re going through the motions. Like stage fighting.”
“Or stage fucking?”
“Yes, not real fucking.”
I deflate. Fully this time. This is my unlucky day.
“Because that would be weird. How weird would it be if I asked you to do that?” She laughs, amused, it seems, at the sheer incredulity of someone ever suggesting that. More like sheer fucking awesomeness.
“Ha. So weird. I mean, right? Who does that?” I echo, like I can’t believe anyone would ever do that.
“Exactly.” Her face seems to light up with relief. “You hear about that happening. A friend asks her friend to help her learn the ropes, but it never works out if you actually go through with it. How could it? How could you practice with somebody and not develop feelings for them?”
I part my lips to speak but clamp them shut. Because I already have feelings for her. They’re developed. Past tense. So I answer by way of a shrug.
“Plus, what would happen to our friendship? And, of course, you want to be free to date,” she says, as if she’s offering me my greatest dreams on a platter—more dating with women who aren’t her.
I’d like to issue a correction: I want to be free to date you . Except Arden’s not even thinking along those lines, so I’m going to need to regroup and devise a different strategy to get her to see me that way. But one fact needs to be stated loud and clear. “I don’t need to date right now.”
She takes a step back, surprise in her features. “You don’t?”
I shake my head. “I’m not interested in dating. Also, I can manage a week without it, thank you very much.”
“You sure?”
“Well, it’ll be hard. But I can manage.”
“But I still think it would be unfair of me to limit you. Besides, we’re basically going to walk through some naughty scenarios, like a few tutorials. You can guide me, and then I’ll have the knowledge I need to make better choices.”
She sounds like she’s talking about teen pregnancy. Better choices. Knowledge. “You make it sound like a PSA. ‘The more you know . . .’”
She laughs. “That’s because I’m totally inexperienced in this area. As an example, I’ve never made love outside.”
My jaw drops. “You’ve never ordered the sex alfresco?”
She raises a hand like she’s taking an oath. “Never have I ever.”
I affect a big frown. “You’re making me so sad right now.”
“You’ll take pity on me and help me test some new things?” She bats her eyes.
I drape an arm around her and tug her close, sliding into my best playful and friendly voice. “I will definitely take pity on you, my friend. But you do know you can’t practice having sex outside with clothes on, right?”
Laughing, she rises on tiptoe and plants a chaste kiss on my cheek, which I like far too much. “I know that. But we can test other things. And by simply testing, rather than actually practicing, we won’t ruin our friendship.”
Yep. This is going to be a tougher road than I thought. I need to buy some time to figure out how the hell to manage this new twist. “Let’s start with talking instead of spanking. How does that sound?”
“I guess spanking wasn’t the best way to start?” She fiddles with her watch, which makes me think she’s nervous about the whole thing. And I’m not interested in making her nervous. I don’t want her to feel awkward. The fact is, it takes some serious ovaries to ask for help in the boudoir. Now that I know what kind of lesson she’s after, I don’t think that launching right in is the best technique, after all.
“Spanking is a world-class favorite activity, and I guarantee you’re going to love it. But let’s start by getting out of here so we can discuss your ideas.”
There. That’ll help me to course correct.
She points to her purse. “Like the list I made?”
“I would very much like to see it.”
“Good. There’s a lot on it, and it’ll help if I bounce ideas off a man. I’ve discussed plenty of these things with Perri and Vanessa, but I want to get a guy’s opinion.”
“I’m your guy.”
She steps closer, squeezes my shoulder, and whispers sweetly, “Yes, you are.”
I’m her guy.
The guy she turned to.
I might not be the guy she wants for more.
Yet.
But the fact that she came to me for help tells me something important—she trusts me. That’s a start. A very important start, and one I can build on.
But first, I’m dying to know what the hell is on this naughty list.