Chapter 14
Despite It All
Sofie
Despite the epic mind-fucks that have come one right after another, the looming takeover, the quiet hum of corporate espionage, the father I adore who is now perilously close to a deadbeat dad except on the good days, the days when he still deserves the Father of the Year trophy I made him in kindergarten prep school, the one where they only spoke Mandarin, the trophy he still keeps in his office, glued together because it broke once “by accident,” courtesy of “clumsy house staff,” —so Elena said— and the scuffed scribble on the bottom definitely not reading love, Bianca if you don’t look too closely.
Despite the possibility that my father may have slept with Claudia’s mother, a timeline I am absolutely not ready to calculate yet, because I can’t, and that he may have threatened to take her unborn child, driving her to disappear from this city entirely and causing Claudia to live a hellish life…
Despite all of that, as crippling as it is, none of it ruined the joy of learning that I might have a sister who is one of the best people I know.
Or that Savannah, whom I have already claimed with my whole heart, might actually be my niece.
Or that Paul, miserable old pain in the ass that he pretended to be, is actually something close to wonderful.
It was always going to be okay when Dad finally stopped having good days.
I knew that. I planned for it. But now, I’m not as terrified that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me, that people eventually drift away unless I give them a reason to stay, unless I make myself indispensable —monetarily.
Sick? Absolutely. But I don’t pretend to be perfect.
I love my imperfections. Unlike my half-sisters, who Dad has spent thousands, if not millions, curating. Plastic doesn’t equate to pretty, and polish always wears off. Even if it didn’t, their ugliness shines brighter than any cosmetic product on the market because it is soul-deep.
And I refuse even to consider that James and Matteo are involved, which is why I have avoided them altogether.
Somehow, the worst discoveries of the last twenty-four hours have blurred at the edges. Not erased. Just… muted behind the time at the market with all the people who make me feel normal, loved, and seen for the real me.
Today gave me something else to hold onto. Holiday memories I didn’t expect to make. Laughter, warm lights, a sense of belonging that feels earned instead of staged.
And last night?
Aleks Kilovac. All sharp edges and cold distance, all intimidation and control, cracked open when I was at my lowest. In the middle of my first, and hopefully my last, panic attack.
He didn’t disappear. He didn’t flinch, he stayed.
Actually, he didn’t stay, he brought me in with no expectations and kept me safe.
What he showed me last night was more disarming than the muscles, the ink, the presence that commands a room, the drool-worthy hockey ass, and a very impressive bulge that couldn’t be hidden beneath those navy blue, threadbare Yale sweats.
He showed me there’s something even more beautiful under all of that.
Something fierce and protective and deeply human.
And me, I don’t have a clue what to do with it.
That’s for a future Sofie to figure out, a nearer future Sofie is going to fall asleep —hopefully— in The Bridgeview hotel without a weighted blanket or a two hundred and fifty pound defensive wing surrounding me with all the heat he gives off.
“You okay, Sassy?” Paul asks.
“I’m,” I consider it for a moment and smile as I press my lips to the top of Savannah’s dark, silky waves. “Perfect.”
“Good, now stay in that place when I tell you something that might piss you off, make you react in the way you’re prone to and—”
“Paul, nothing you say can yuck the yum that is asleep against my chest, or the newfound forever fondness and love I have for you.”
“They were pissed at him,” Paul says simply. “And he still didn’t say a word about you. About any of it.”
I open my eyes and look at him.
“Deacon uninvited him to the market because they knew he’d been with you last night.”
My body tenses, “What?” I whisper hiss.
“You got a superpower kid.”
“A superpower?”
“Like a skunk, but pretty.”
“Oh my God, just spill it,” I whisper.
“Moretti didn’t get a whiff, but he knew something was up based on that weird foreplay between the two of you.
” I feel my face burn. “He was an ass at Icehouse?” I nod, and God forgive me, I don’t divulge that I totally earned that.
“Deacon warned him to behave at Rockefeller Center, and you two did that again, the —”
“Please never say weird foreplay to me again.”
“Well, that.” He chuckles. “Then the guys were giving him shit in the locker-room about bringing a girl back to the Pad, which I assume is a new rule they set when I moved in.” Good. “Moretti must have thought what they all did, you two got the hots for each other.”
“We do not have—”
“Never lie to me. It’s a…” he scratches his head. “What the hell does Claudia call it? A bullet point, a shot, something?”
“A trigger.”
He snaps his fingers and points, “Yep. It’s that. Makes me—”
“Wanna shield yourself from everyone and not take care of yourself? Drink until you wake up face-first, surrounded by a building you no longer want to be in, but can’t leave because it’s where Patsy’s and all your good memories still live? Oh, and have to be helped up off the damn floor by—”
He cuts me off, “My point, sassy ass, is that you both need to stop presuming you’re going to fail each other because the people who were supposed to protect you didn’t.
He’s not going to pour alcohol in that wound in your chest, he’s going to heal it, and you’re going to do the same for him.
” Just those words make me warm inside. “If you quit fucking around.”
I close my eyes and kiss Savannah’s head. Inhaling her sweet baby scent.
“The smelly part.” I crack open one eye and look at him, and he goes on. “The one who has a crush on me—”
“Dash.” I smile
“Yeah. They have rituals. They still ride back to the Pad after practice together, the four of them, not the one with the good hair or—”
“Koa.” I grin.
He winks, “Yeah, that one or Savannah’s Daddy D, they don’t anymore, but the other four must think their winning streak depends on them leaving the arena and heading to the Pad.”
“Got it.” I smile inside at the fact that I now love his drawn-out stories instead of waiting for them to wrap up impatiently. Which I note, because how rude? His life and memories are precious to him and should be treated as such.
“So, the kid with a crush on me, he acted like he was grabbing a box to bring to that mansion he rented to impress his girl, the sweet one.”
“Noelle.”
He nods. “I’ll circle back to the fact you haven’t been to the mansion, and why you need to carve out time later, but to my point, Sterling was full of shit.
All but ran down the hall and threw open AK’s door, grabbed a pillow, and apparently sniffed it, and because of that distinct scent knew the girl he broke house rules for was you, the one who AK had been an ass to, and the one they consider their own due to your sisters.
” He sighs. “One who may be by blood.” I hold Savannah closer, and he continues. “I walked in and was hit by it.”
“My stink?” I ask.
“Scent, ya little shit,” he grumbles.
“And?”
“I spilled the coffee so to speak.” I don’t correct him. “Not about Mr. Big Bucks or the half-blood bimbos, but about,” he touches his chest, right above his heart. “My girls.”
And I can’t be pissed, not even a little, because again, this is his story too.
“I made him come where he was unwanted. He didn’t do that for me. The kid isn’t impressed by me in the way Dash is.”
“So, he doesn’t have a crush on you?” I joke.
Paul chuckles, “I mean, you’d think, but no. He’s completely unaffected by my charming demeanor. Enough about me. He showed up where he wasn’t wanted for you.”
“Like you did the very first hockey game you went to with us.”
“Can’t let a minute pass, Sofie,” he says softly. “Time is the only thing you can’t get back.”
The door opens, and Claudia and Deacon walk in. Both of us look at them as they look at us. The silence speaks volumes.
“How was she?” Claudia finally breaks the silence as she hands Paul a bag of, I assume, dessert, then kisses his cheek.
“Perfect, of course.” I smile at my sister, regardless of bloodlines, and then look at Deacon. “Love you, Daddy D.” He cocks his head to the side in question. “So, I’m going to ask that you turn off the blinders you wear that are shielding my flaws and look at me.”
He shakes his head, confused.
“I had a very bad night last night. Aleks saw me outside of Icehouse, where he thinks I was having a panic attack.”
“Oh god,” Claudia gasps, holding her hand to her chest.
I turn to her, “I promise you on everything I love, you will be the very first person I talk to when I can sort it all out. The very first.” She nods, and I look at Deacon. “This thing between Aleks and me,” I shake my head. “I don’t know what it is or if it will ever be something.”
“Enemies to lovers,” Paul chuckles.
I look at him, “Way better than weird foreplay.”
“What?” Claudia titters.
I smile and look back at Deacon. “I’m ruthless and C-U-N-T-Y by default.
Something I will work through with your future wife, soon, very very soon.
Aleks Kilovac?” I shake my head. “He’s no more the villain than I am.
I was a mess, and he took care of me. Made me feel …
safe. He didn’t share that with any of you or defend himself when he very well could have. ”
“And he showed up for her when he was uninvited,” Paul adds.
“You uninvited him?” Claudia asks Deacon.
“It was put to a vote.” He hands her his phone. “Two for, two against, and one please do not make me do this, I’m just a rookie.” She hands him back the phone, expression blank. “You’re upset.”