Chapter 30 Sarah
SARAH
What a mess.
All the excitement and happiness I’d felt ten minutes ago about Esme’s comeuppance had evaporated.
This was an impossible situation.
If I asked reception for another room, that’d be a red flag to everyone and basically tell them that we weren’t really a couple.
Yeah, there were people who didn’t believe in sharing a bed or room with someone before they got married, but let’s face it, that was pretty rare.
There was no way my family would buy that.
But if Ben stayed, he’d have to sleep on the floor, which I wouldn’t want him to do.
Like I’d said, he’d saved my bacon already.
He was giving up his time for free, for me.
Someone who wasn’t even a proper friend.
Well, despite our rocky start and the fact that I’d told everyone who’d listen that I hated him, I hoped that, now we were getting on better, he kind of considered me a friend to some degree.
Even if he did, though, what he was doing for me went way above the call of duty for even the best friendships. He was doing me a massive favour. So if anyone should be sleeping on the floor, it should be me.
Yeah. That was settled.
Ben came out of the bathroom and I tried not to look at him. Every time I did, my whole body went haywire. My stomach somersaulted, my pulse raced, my heart pumped and my fanny fluttered. Until now I didn’t know that you could get a full-body workout just from looking at a man.
‘I’ll take the floor,’ I said, revisiting the conversation whilst still avoiding eye contact.
‘I said no,’ he growled. ‘I know you probably still think I’m an arsehole, but there’s no way I’d let you do that. End of story. So what’s the plan for today?’
I knew from his tone that he had no interest in continuing the discussion about our sleeping arrangements, so I’d shelve it for now, but I was still adamant that he would not be screwing up his back for me.
‘We have a rehearsal dinner tonight at eight, then the wedding tomorrow at noon, followed by lunch, the wedding reception and stuff. Then on Sunday morning we can relax before heading back.’
‘Cool. It’s only just gone four, so what are you going to do now?’
Part of me knew I should at least explore the hotel’s grounds, but I was convinced that if I did, I’d bump into Trent or Esme. Plus, we’d had an early start and I was tired, so I just wanted to chill in the room until it was time to get ready.
‘I think I’ll just sit out on the balcony and read. You?’ I asked.
Given how much of an explorer Ben seemed to be, he’d probably go for a walk on the beach. No doubt he’d have the women falling at his feet along the way, but despite his reputation, somehow I believed that he wouldn’t act on it, because he knew that would affect the whole fake dating arrangement.
That alone spoke volumes. Ben had made no secret of the fact that he loved the ladies and the ladies loved him. So it meant a lot that he was giving up a whole weekend of pussy prowling for me.
‘Mind if I join you?’ Ben asked.
‘What?’ My brows shot up. He had the chance to spend time away from me, but he chose to stay and sit here whilst I read? Mind blown. ‘Nope, go for it.’
After taking my paperback out of my bag, I headed to the balcony.
Wow.
The views were stunning. The golden beach looked gorgeous and the sea was multiple shades of blue. I wasn’t surprised Debbie wanted to get married here.
As the sun warmed my skin, I thought about how lucky I was to be here. Yeah, I’d prefer not to be staying at the same hotel as my ex, but I still had a lot to be thankful for.
I pulled out a chair and sat down.
Ben followed soon afterwards, clutching the latest book I’d left for him to read, which was a romance set in different European cities.
If I was being completely honest, I liked the book but didn’t love it, so it was probably a mistake to give it to him. Then again, he liked to travel, so I thought he’d enjoy seeing how the protagonist finds love abroad.
He sat on the opposite side of the table and I wondered how I was even going to concentrate on reading with his scent wafting around me. I’d survived the train, plane and taxi journey, but I didn’t know how much more I could take.
I quickly opened my book, desperate for a distraction.
As we both sat and read, it dawned on me how nice this was. Some women dreamt of their soulmate whisking them off to romantic locations for a candlelight dinner. But I’d always dreamt of coming home after a long day at work and curling up on the sofa with my boyfriend and a book.
We’d snuggle up under a warm blanket with a steamy mug of tea and some snacks and just read.
And every now and again we’d stop to discuss what was happening, because of course in an ideal world we’d love the same books.
I knew that sounded like I was asking a lot, but it wasn’t impossible. That was the kind of relationship Jess had with Theo and the kind of relationship that I craved.
Maybe Theo was an anomaly, though. Let’s face it, many of the men I’d encountered were like Ben. They had a low opinion of romance books, so the chances of them doing a buddy read with one were low.
That was the thing, though—they didn’t have to love romance. Even if they enjoyed a completely different genre but respected romance, that’d be fine.
I really wished this was real.
I shook my head and returned to my book. I was reading Office Delight for what must be the tenth time.
To people who weren’t bookworms, that probably sounded crazy. But I knew that this weekend would be difficult, and whenever I was going through challenging times, I always reached for my comfort reads. Those ten-star books that always promised to make me feel better.
Being with characters that I knew and loved was so calming.
Of course, I adored reading and discovering new novels and authors, but opening a book and knowing with absolute certainty that I was guaranteed to lose myself in the story and love everything about it, including the ending that’d leave me kicking my feet with delight, was priceless.
My stress levels were already going to be high, so I couldn’t risk reading anything that could put me in a slump.
And I knew that whether this was the tenth or twentieth time I read this novel, it wouldn’t be the last.
‘How’s the book?’ I asked Ben. Although I was aware that speaking to someone when they were reading was a cardinal sin, I couldn’t help myself.
‘It’s okay.’ He sighed. ‘To be honest, I was hoping your recommendations would get better, but I’m sorry to say that they might be getting worse.’
My stomach twisted. I’d never had anyone trash my recommendations before. I hated to fail. Especially when it came to something that meant the world to me, like books.
If I was being completely honest, the novels I’d given Ben weren’t ones that I’d typically recommend.
They were decent, of course, but they weren’t my top-tier books.
I was getting on much better with Ben, and if I recommended those and he talked shit about them, I wouldn’t be able to speak to him again.
And maybe in some kind of weird way, I thought he didn’t deserve to read them? Like he wouldn’t appreciate them.
Maybe once we were back in more neutral ground at the library, I’d give him one of my faves to test the water. But if this weekend was going to go to plan, I couldn’t risk getting annoyed with him because he slagged off my favourite novels.
‘What are you reading?’ Ben asked. ‘Is it second-hand? Or maybe tenth-hand? It looks incredibly worn.’ He raised a curious eyebrow.
‘Office Delight!’ My eyes brightened. ‘It’s my favourite book of all time.’ I was going to add that this was my tenth reread, but I knew he’d just ridicule me.
‘So why haven’t you recommended that to me?’
Just as I was about to explain that I wasn’t willing to take the risk, the room phone rang, piercing the air.
I put my book down on the balcony table, then went inside to answer it.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey, sis!’ Adrian’s voice boomed down the phone.
‘Hey, groom!’ I said brightly. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good! You settled in okay?’
I was tempted to say not really because I’m going to have to share a bed with my hot colleague and I’m worried about embarrassing myself by doing something stupid, but thankfully common sense prevailed and I kept those thoughts to myself.
‘Yeah! All good, thanks.’
‘Sorry to ask, but could you oversee the set-up for the rehearsal dinner? I’ve got to get something altered on my suit for tomorrow and Debbie’s having a final dress fitting, so I need someone I trust to make sure it’s all done properly.’
‘Course! Are you still at the hotel?’ I asked, not sure if he was calling from his room or if he was out and had the call transferred.
‘Yeah, I’ve got to leave in ten minutes. Shall we meet at reception?’
‘Okay, I’m coming now. We can say a quick hello, then you can tell me what you need.’
‘Great! Thanks, sis.’
I hung up, then I returned to the balcony.
‘I’m popping out to help my brother with something. Will you be okay here?’
‘Do you want me to come and help?’ Ben said, and my heart squeezed at how kind it was of him to ask.
‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine. You just relax here. Looks like you’ve got a lot to get through for that book, so you need all the downtime you can get!’
Ben let out a defeated groan.
‘Well, if you change your mind and need help, please call me. I’ll be grateful for the distraction.’
‘Happy reading!’ I said, secretly thinking that maybe I should give him a different book. I wanted him to love what he was reading. The point of this exercise was to help him fall in love with romance, not make him hate it. And if I gave him any more average books, I might lose him altogether.
I’d consider some other options when I got back. But for now I had a rehearsal dinner set-up to oversee.
And I really hoped I could do that without bumping into my arsehole ex…