Chapter 70 Ben
BEN
Sarah and I danced together for the rest of the evening.
Initially I’d questioned whether that was a good idea, because it’d make saying goodbye harder. But I wanted to enjoy these last moments with her.
And the truth was, I didn’t really have a choice, because if Sarah was nearby, I wouldn’t be able to stay away.
I loved her too much for that.
Yes, I loved her.
That was clear. If I was honest, deep down, I’d probably known that for a while. Things with her were always different. She was special.
Which was another reason why I had to let her go.
Sarah didn’t realise it yet, but she was too good for me.
She had talent. She had dreams. She was going to go so far in life and I’d only hold her back.
It didn’t matter if she told me that I was amazing or hot. Once she became an even bigger success, she’d soon realise that there were men who were more amazing or hotter than me. My ex would happily attest to that.
The DJ announced that the next song would be the last and my stomach tensed. The last song meant it’d be time to say goodbye.
Forever.
‘So.’ I looked down at her and stroked her cheek. ‘Looks like the night is over.’
Sarah’s face fell. She also knew what this meant.
‘Are we really never going to see each other again?’ Sarah said. ‘Are you not even going to come back to visit Jess and Theo?’
‘I think it’ll be too difficult,’ I said.
‘What about my book launch? Surely you’ll come to that?’
‘I…’
I was desperate to say yes. More than she knew. But imagine if her new boyfriend was there too?
That’d be too much to bear.
‘I finished my book by the way!’ Sarah jumped in, sparing me the need to reply.
‘That’s fantastic!’ A wide grin spread across my face. ‘Congrats!’
‘Thanks! Well, it’s not finished, finished. Just the main outline, but it’s pretty detailed.’
‘Can I read it?’ I asked. I knew we were supposed to be having a clean break, but I still wanted to be there for Sarah. And emailing would be easier than seeing her in person.
‘You won’t have time! You’ll be too busy travelling.’
‘I’ll make time. It’s important,’ I said firmly, meaning every word. ‘We’re going somewhere pretty remote in northern Spain for a week, so phone reception will be patchy, but I could send you feedback in say, ten days, once we’re back to civilisation in Bilbao. Would that work?’
‘That’d be brilliant! I’d really appreciate it. Especially because I’m still not sure about the ending.’
‘No worries. I’ll look at it and give you my thoughts.’
‘Try to be kind!’
‘I will. But I’ll have to be honest too.’
‘Yeah, course.’ I nodded. ‘I’ll email it in the morning, once I’ve checked over it again. Okay?’
‘Perfect.’
The last song ended, and we were left standing in silence, with just the disco lights illuminating the beach.
Jess and Theo had ‘retired’ hours ago and there were only a handful of guests still here, but in truth, when Sarah was in front of me, everyone else was invisible.
A lump formed in my throat.
This was so hard.
‘I…’ Sarah broke the silence. ‘I guess I should get going. I’m opening the library tomorrow, so I’ve got an early start. Glenda, Jane and Jackson are gonna clear up here. Thanks again for everything. Especially for the incredible memories. I’ll never forget you, Benjamin Buttface.’
Tears filled her eyes and I felt myself welling up too.
‘And I’ll never forget you, Jeffries. Come here.’
I leant down, pressed my lips on hers, then kissed her like my life depended on it.
It took all of my strength to pull away.
‘Want me to walk you back to the B&B?’ I asked.
‘No, it’s only across the road, but thank you. Bye.’
‘Goodbye.’ I waved pathetically.
And as I watched Sarah walk away, my heart shattered.
I’d always scoffed at the happy endings of romance novels.
But that was before. Now I craved one.
In many ways the time Sarah and I had spent together mirrored her favourite novels. Except the finale wasn’t a joyful one.
I supposed it just proved what I’d always believed: fairy-tale endings didn’t exist in real life.
Which was a damn shame.