Chapter 73 Sarah
SARAH
So that was that.
Ben wasn’t going to email.
Ever since I’d finished work earlier this evening, I’d been sat with my laptop beside me, waiting for his reply.
Okay. Full disclosure. I’d been refreshing the email on my phone what felt like every minute since yesterday. When I was at the library, when I was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’d even bloody taken my phone with me to the loo ‘just in case’.
But now it was eleven-thirty on Thursday night, so it was clear that was it. The full ten days was over and I’d heard nothing.
Plus, Spain was an hour ahead, which meant technically it was already Friday. Clearly, he thought what I’d done on my book was so crap that he didn’t know how to break the news to me and he’d decided that it was easier to just ghost me.
Or he just didn’t want to speak to me again.
Or both.
I’d tried to think reasonably, y’know, telling myself he was busy travelling or didn’t have any phone signal. But when Jess called earlier to see how I was, she let it slip that Theo had chatted to Ben when he arrived in Bilbao, so there was bound to be internet service there.
So like I said, that was that. No more Ben.
I was about to turn off my light and go to bed, then I stopped.
No.
I knew I should be grateful that I’d had a dream romance with Ben and just accept that it was over, but I didn’t want to.
Call me greedy, but I wanted more.
More travel adventures with him.
More cuddles in bed.
More kisses.
More sex.
More love.
If this really was a fairy tale, the heroine wouldn’t just give up without a fight, right?
Okay, maybe she would’ve waited for the man to come riding in on his white horse or something.
But things were different now. I didn’t have to wait for the man to make the move. I could do it myself.
At least if he rejected me and told me that even after all this time apart he still felt the same and didn’t want a relationship, then I’d know that I’d done everything possible and I could live without regrets.
Ben was right when he said I was already doing well. I believed in myself. I’d been part of the team that had helped make the library a success.
I’d come up with great concepts and ideas that helped not just to raise awareness of the library but to attract paying customers.
Those viral videos had already brought in a shitload of online sales.
I had value.
I was worthy.
I was Sarah Freaking Jeffries.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Ben Eaves.
And I hoped he felt the same.
So, no. I wasn’t going to sit here crying.
It was too late to call or catch a flight anywhere now, but tomorrow, I’d find out where Ben was and tell him exactly that.
There was a chance that he’d tell me to sod off.
But there was also a chance that he’d take me in his arms and tell me he’d made a mistake and wanted forever too.
And that was the positive thought I kept in my mind as I closed my laptop, turned off the light and went to sleep with a new sense of determination and fire in my belly.