Chapter Twenty-Four #2
“Why did you keep my sticky notes?”
He glares down at me. “So this is how it has to be? You want me to step off the cliff again and again, knowing you’re not planning to follow me?”
I kick off my blanket and stand, the small space bringing us mere inches apart. “Hey, in case you forgot, I kissed you first, Jamie,” I whisper fiercely. “You’re the one who said it was a bad idea—”
“You said you wanted to keep it a secret!”
I throw my hands up. “As opposed to what?”
“I want to be with you, Blair. Not as a secret, and not for some one-time, two-time hookup. How have I not made that clear?”
I stare at him. “Then why did you agree to stop talking to me?”
“Because I have no idea what you want,” he says helplessly. “And even if you feel the same way, I don’t trust you to try.”
He moves to go, but I grab the front of his shirt, hauling him back. “You’re forgetting one thing, Jamie.” I lean in, pulling him close enough that my nose brushes his. “I’m not the one who gives a shit if Sawyer hates me forever. You are.”
He narrows his eyes, head tilting. “What does that mean?”
“Guess.”
I drag my hand around the back of his neck and kiss him.
It is a collision of stars, a rough meeting of mouths. His teeth click against mine, his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me against him. I curl my fingers in his hair, earning a growl in response.
Then he slows, setting a languid pace, his hold on me loosening.
I sag against him, the fight going out of me.
I sit, pulling him down onto the couch with me.
I tip my head back as he kneels over me, burying his hands in my hair.
He waits, breathing hard, his mouth barely brushing mine.
Every warm exhale, a ghost of his kiss, ratchets my heart rate up another notch, until I lean up to greedily capture his mouth with mine.
Before long I’m shifting again, Jamie following until we’re lying chest to chest, legs tangled together. I’m so dizzy, I almost don’t notice his hands are shaking. Then I realize I’m trembling, and when we separate, my teeth begin to chatter.
“You okay?” Jamie whispers, brushing his fingers up and down my back in slow, comforting passes.
I nod, burying my face in his chest until my tense muscles relax.
He breathes out slowly, his hand cupping the back of my neck. “Blair. Can I ask you one question?”
I lift my head to look at him.
“I need to hear you say it. Do you want to be with me?”
I cup his face, stroking my thumbs over his high cheekbones. “Yes. So much. But I’m worried about what that means for you. I don’t want to make your life more complicated than it already is.”
He rests his forehead against mine. “Let me worry about my life, okay? Trust me.”
“I do.” I press my thumbs into the small lines grooved on either side of his tense mouth and whisper, “I trust you.”
His expression softens, and he leans in to kiss me again.
But then on the other side of the apartment a door opens, and we both freeze.
I peek over his shoulder, staring in horror until I see it’s only Mikey.
She stumbles out of her room, and a moment later the bathroom light flicks on.
She makes a small noise of distress, flipping it off again, followed by the unmistakable sound of peeing.
Jamie snorts, and I smother my laugh against his shoulder, smacking his chest.
He catches my hand, lifting it to his lips to kiss my fingertips. My heart flutters in my chest.
“We should switch,” he whispers. “I’ll take the couch.”
I shake my head, pushing at his chest until he teeters on the edge of the sectional. I mime going back to sleep, and he frowns.
“Go,” I say quietly as the toilet flushes and the sink starts to run. “Before anyone sees you.”
He gets up, retreating with one last reluctant look in my direction. Mikey passes back into her room a second later, shutting the door behind her.
I settle against my pillow again, that battalion of soldiers in my chest transformed into one of butterflies, flapping wildly. I kick at my throw until it’s tangled around my legs.
Then I hear a sound, and I sit up in surprise as Jamie comes back into the living room, his arms wrapped around the blanket from his bed.
“Jamie,” I protest as he drapes it over me.
He puts a finger to his lips, methodically tucking the blanket around my legs, pulling it up to my chin until I’m cocooned inside. He leans in and presses one last kiss to my lips.
“Good night,” he whispers.
I cover my face with my hands. “Good night,” I squeak while he laughs quietly.
When he’s gone, I roll onto my stomach and kick my legs, loosening the hold of his blanket. I’m so certain I won’t be able to sleep that when I open my eyes next, I’m shocked to find I’m staring into rosy morning light.
I smile to myself as I sit up, stars in my eyes. I’ve almost forgotten why I’m sleeping on the couch in the first place—
Until I spot my brother at the kitchen table, glaring at me like I’m a rodent that’s just emerged from a hole.
“Question,” he says, lip curling. “Have your neighbors ever complained about the noise?”
I frown. “What noise?”
“Your fucking buzz saw snoring. I think it shook the walls last night.”
I pick up my pillow and hurl it at him.