Chapter 14
RAFE
Boris was yelling at me, Celine was examining her cuticles while surreptitiously hovering, Eli was supporting Kelsi’s torso as she extended her leg in a graceful arabesque, and I was blissfully floating somewhere above it all. Here and yet…not.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t hear my jump coach voicing his displeasure at my lack of concentration or that I didn’t notice my worried friend or wonder why Eli was still at the rink when he could have been long gone by now.
No, I was a thousand miles away, reliving the incredible feeling of having Gus Langley’s cock buried deep inside me.
Can you blame me?
That had been the best sex of my entire life. No doubt about it. Afterward, it had been business as usual. We’d gone our separate ways for practice, gym time, and classes, and that was perfectly fine.
Okay, not true.
I’d wanted a repeat, but I also hadn’t wanted any major discussion about it. Was it possible to just have sex without talking about it? If we talked, he’d realize that I had a terrible crush on him and that would definitely make the next two months awkward.
So…I tried to act normal.
The morning after the first time we’d…you know, Gus had poured me a cup of coffee in my “Nacho average ice skater” mug in greeting and sat across from me at the table.
We’d scrolled through our respective cells and sipped our coffees in companionable quiet.
He’d stood to rinse his cup first, mentioned something about finishing a paper that was due that day.
I’d reminded him that we’d agreed to skate together and that there was a free thirty-minute spot at eight o’clock that night.
Gus had rolled his eyes. “I have practice till seven and I’m gonna be starving, so I’m going to eat two dinners. I’ll be too full to skate, Rafey.”
“Don’t be a baby. Eat something light, skate with me, and treat yourself to a real meal after. C’mon,” I’d cajoled, my gaze wandering from his pecs to his thick biceps. “This is my contribution to your silly game, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember,” he’d said in a smoky tone that went straight to my cock.
He’d stood to put his mug in the sink and I’d followed him, like a moth drawn to a flame.
I’d stared and stared, my heart beating out of my chest, wishing I knew how to ask for what I wanted.
But…the next thing I knew, Gus’s mouth was on mine, his hand was inside my boxer briefs, squeezing my ass cheeks as he tongue-fucked me.
One thing had led to another, as it sometimes did, and I’d ended up on my knees, sucking his cock while I jerked myself a soda.
Just before I came, he’d asked if he could fuck me and that was how I’d wound up bent over the kitchen counter with my pajama bottoms and boxer briefs pooled at my ankles getting pounded into oblivion. Heaven.
That wasn’t the last time we’d had sex. No, this was becoming a regular thing.
The other day, I’d blown him in the hallway.
Gus had just gotten home from practice, freshly showered, and glowing with a post-workout aura.
Call me crazy, but he’d looked positively delectable.
I’d pushed him against the wall, sunk to my knees, and the rest was history.
And last night, he’d collapsed on the sofa, legs spread, and asked what I was watching. I’d been honest…to a fault.
“Your cock.”
Gus had waggled his brows and cupped his package through his sweatpants. “Yeah? Want to sit on it?”
The over-the-top mannerism and lascivious invitation was the opposite of sexy, but this was Gus we were talking about.
There was no romance here. This was just two horny roommates relieving some pent-up sexual tension.
I appreciated his direct approach. In our current situationship, it was a breath of fresh air.
So yes, I’d taken Gus up on his offer and ridden his cock.
Had I become a common trollop?
Maybe so.
A week later, I was addicted. I thought about Gus all the time. I looked forward to morning coffee or lazy nights in front of the flat-screen as much as I enjoyed becoming carnally acquainted. It was glorious and—
I jolted as Boris clapped loudly in my ear.
“…if you don’t land properly, you cannot expect to get the height you need. Low jumps? No one wants to see that squat nonsense or the…”
I nodded in agreement but tuned Boris out for the sake of sanity. Of course, he was right, and I knew it. My landings had been tepid lately, and it didn’t take an insightful therapist to figure out the root of my problem.
I was afraid to fall.
More accurately, I was afraid to fall and not have enough time before the championships to heal. It was as if I were reserving my energy and resources for the main event. Not okay.
If I didn’t show the same passion on the ice now that I had during the season, I might not be invited to the qualifiers, let alone make the team. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to remove this self-imposed governor and give it my all.
Or I’d fail.
No. Not an option.
I nearly groaned aloud when Eli cornered me in the locker room. I hadn’t spoken to him since our date and the timing couldn’t have been worse.
But I smiled, ’cause it wasn’t his fault that my jumps sucked or that I was infatuated with my roommate.
“Hey, I was wondering if you’re free this weekend.”
“I…um, no. I’m sorry. I’m not,” I replied, oozing awkwardness at an alarming rate.
He arched his brows curiously. “Is everything okay?”
I made a production of checking the blade on my right skate as I nodded. “Yes, yes…fine.”
“Good. Well, let’s meet for coffee or—"
“No, thanks.” I took a deep breath and deciding honesty was the best policy, I blurted, “Don’t get me wrong, I had a nice time last week, but I don’t think we should date.”
Well done, Rafe. Add something about being friends now.
I opened my mouth to impart a few words of wisdom, but the calculating glint in his eyes stopped me.
“I disagree,” he said, leaning casually against the locker. “Being seen with each other is a good thing. People talk and if they think we’re together we’ll get some publicity for Smithton…and for ourselves.”
Huh?
“Eli, I don’t know how to say this nicely, but I’m not really interested in you that way.”
He smirked. “It doesn’t have to be real. We’ll just let our teammates think it is, and word will spread. A new romance between two guys on the same team, hoping for a spot on the championship roster is interesting.”
“Is it?”
“Trust me on this…yes. You know how small the figure skating world is. Exposure plus talent can be a powerful weapon.”
“Weapon,” I repeated, wrinkling my nose in distaste. “Thanks for the offer, but…I don’t think so. No one cares about—”
“They do, and if they care enough, you’ll get your club sponsorship.”
I gaped at him. “But that’s lying.”
“It’s a white lie,” he corrected indulgently. “We don’t have to do anything physically. We can just…”
“Hold pinky fingers?”
Eli winked. “Yeah. I like you, Rafe. I think you like me. Neither of us is dating anyone…or are you seeing someone?”
A week of amazing sex with my roommate wasn’t “seeing someone,” so…
“I—no,” I confirmed.
“So why not help each other out? We’re both really good at what we do, and we’re good press for Smithton.
We’re also in the same position. I need a place to land after graduation that’s worth a crap too.
Spots are limited for the championships, but if we play our cards right, we could make everyone happy.
Be a team within the team. Think about it. ”
Celine was waiting for me in the lobby. She motioned for me to follow her to the exit and into the pouring rain.
I pulled my jacket over both of us. “Run!”
We slid into a booth at Bear Depot, half-soaked. And hungry, too. I ordered a burger, fries, and a diet soda much to Celine’s dismay.
“A burger? What’s that all about?” she asked, tucking the laminated menu into the sleeve at the end of the table.
“I have a little extra money in my budget this week, so I’m eating my feelings.”
“Gus is still overbuying to get in your good graces, huh?”
Confession: That was the only piece of information I’d shared with Celine regarding the change in dynamics between Gus and me.
I would probably share the sexier bits at some point, but not yet.
I didn’t want the lecture. I didn’t want to be reminded that sleeping with my roommate was a bad idea.
A terrible idea. I knew it, but I didn’t want to stop any time soon.
“A little bit, but don’t get too excited. It’s a burger, not filet mignon,” I replied, finger-combing my damp hair.
“In that case, let’s order a side of onion rings too.”
We clinked our water glasses and settled in to chat. Celine and I texted constantly and saw each other at the rink every day, but face-to-face powwows didn’t happen often enough.
Let’s not forget that Smithton had been Celine’s home for years. She had friends that had no connection to me or ice skating, and I respected that. She was a busy gal with an active social life and I was…well, nowhere near as exciting. Usually.
I was reeling from Eli’s proposition and the fact that I was struggling with basic technique made me extra anxious.
Geez, everything made me anxious lately.
“Boris is going to give up on me if I don’t get my head out of my ass. I don’t think I’m doing it on purpose. I just…freeze. All the energy that I’m supposed to coil and use as a springboard goes limp, and I’m lucky to get six inches of air. It’s worrisome and embarrassing,” I lamented.
“You’ve got a mild case of the you-know-whats, honey.”
I gasped. “No!”
“Talk to your therapist and work it out. It’s going to be okay.
You’ll get through this.” Celine stole a french fry from my plate and dipped it into ketchup.
She waited for my nod of acknowledgment, and changed topics.
“Now, come clean and tell me what’s really going on with you and Eli.
He was staring at you during practice. I thought that terrible kiss ended your amorous vibes. ”
My cheeks flushed automatically. I couldn’t look any guiltier if I tried. “It did. But…he has another idea. Eli just proposed a sort of partnership. Pinky shenanigans only.”
Celine’s perfect brows rose to her hairline as I filled her in. “Oh…my…God.”
“I know. Sleazy, huh? And ridiculous.”
She tossed a fry at me and laughed. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s kind of harmless.”
I huffed. “Is it? To what end? We’re teammates.”
“But we don’t all get chosen to represent Smithton for the championships, do we?”
Cold dread trickled through my veins. “I’m aware.”
“I think he’d prefer to be the highest ranked mens’ singles skater at Smithton.
You, my friend, are competition…even with your current woes.
There’re only three hundred spots total, and we don’t know how many they’ll choose from our program.
Smithton is tiny. We got four spots last year, and two were partners.
Tell me you’ve been scouting a new club. ”
“You know I haven’t,” I choked out. “I can’t afford anything outside of Pittsburgh. I lost my sponsorship last summer, so…this is it. I have to get on that team.”
Celine set her manicured hand over mine and squeezed. “You will.”
Her sincerity buoyed me, but I wished I could be so sure.
About anything.