Chapter 15
JAKE
“Dani moved into my spare room.”
My words hung in the air.
I’m a fucking moron. That’s the only thing that makes sense. What in the hell made me think it was a good idea to tell that asshole Dani moved in with me?
Of course, I knew why. Dani folded in on herself as his words landed, their cruelty direct and cutting, finding their targets with the ease of constant practice. As he diminished her more with every word, a red haze coated my vision.
Long ago, I promised myself I’d never lash out in anger. I’d never become a monster like my dad.
That decision had been challenged repeatedly, against my father when I gained my height and muscles, against fellow soldiers who wanted to test themselves against the big, muscular guy who didn’t talk much, against the friend I found in my bed with my fiancée.
Rage flooded my system as Beau verbally cut Dani down. He stripped away all the hard-won progress she’d made in the weeks away from him. I wanted to beat him until his face matched the twisted, ugly soul he hid behind a slick smile and barbed compliments.
But I never wanted Dani to see me lose control, the control she’d helped me find as a kid. When he pelted her with lies built on weaknesses he exploited, I had two options: lose my control and her friendship, or figure out how to survive living with my lifelong obsession. There was no choice.
Dani’s head swung in my direction, her eyes wide with shock and confusion. She’d lost that haunted, defeated look, though, so I’d take it.
“Sorry. You asked me not to say anything since you guys just broke up,” I added to cover her surprise, “but everyone knows there’s nothing romantic between us.”
“Convenient,” Beau sneered.
If only he knew. There was nothing convenient about it.
The idea had rolled around in my head ever since we went to that shitty apartment. I dismissed it because it’d be hard to live with her without giving myself away, but this was impossible. Nothing would convince me to stand there while he tore her down as easily as he breathed.
My casual shrug infuriated him.
“She needs a place to live. I need help paying my mortgage. Win-win.”
“Why was she heading to her parent’s house when she got out of the car then?”
“Habit,” I said easily.
I’d long ago perfected an outward calm a weasel like Beau couldn’t shake. It was unlikely he’d attack me physically. Bullies never went after anyone who might fight back.
“You live with him now?” he demanded.
Dani straightened her spine. The challenge of hiding my feelings was already worth it when her confidence returned.
“Yes,” she said simply.
“But you can’t do that,” he whined.
“Do you have a lease?” I asked her as if I didn’t already know the answer.
“No,” Dani said. “Beau never put me on the lease, but I already paid my share of this month’s rent.”
“You can’t move out without giving me notice,” he argued.
“If she doesn’t get the benefit of rental history, you don’t get a 60-day written notice. Paying this month’s rent seems fair to me. Now if you’ll excuse us, it’s late, and I have an early morning.”
“Dani, wait,” he pleaded. “Don’t leave. Give me another chance.”
“Beau, enough. It’s over.”
His face darkened for a moment before he smoothed his expression. I didn’t trust him. Whatever his plan for tonight, this outcome threw him.
I gave him my back and gestured for her to precede me to my house. My heart thudded as I followed her up the driveway. Beau’s stare bore into me the entire walk.
“Use your key.” I pitched my voice low enough he wouldn’t hear.
Dani had my spare key. A few days ago, she agreed to wait for my new stove to be delivered, and I told her to keep it for emergencies. With hands that trembled slightly, she drew her keys out of her purse and made a big show of unlocking the door. Beau growled before he stomped away.
Once we got inside and shut the door, Dani slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook, and my heart sank with each muffled sound. Shit. I didn’t know how to fix this. Had I fucked things up or made them worse?
When her head lifted, her eyes glittered with tears. My heart seized. Despite my best efforts, I hurt the person I cared about most. My mind whirled as I tried to figure out how to fix it.
To my shocked, she laughed, free and loud.
“That was amazing. You were amazing. One minute, he trotted out all my worst thoughts about myself, and I was trapped in a version of me I hated but couldn’t escape. The next, he was gaping at you like a fish. And you stood there, calm as anything, while he lost his mind. It was so perfect.”
Her laughter rang out again, and I stared in wonder and relief. I hadn’t ruined it all. Then she frowned.
“He’ll know soon enough I don’t live here. Sierra Rose Ridge loves to gossip.”
I forced my shoulders to rise and fall with a casualness I didn’t feel.
“You’ll have to move in. At least until you find something better.”
She stared at me from her spot on the floor. Doubt filled me again at her continued silence. God, I was such an idiot.
Of course, Dani didn’t want to live with me, especially in this house. We finally finished the floors a few days ago, but the kitchen was barely usable. The only furniture was a few folding chairs and the mattress on the floor in my room.
“Are you serious?” she asked at last. “I can move in here?”
“Of course. You’re my BFF, remember?”
Her smile blinded me.
“You’re the best. It’ll only be until I find something else. I promise I won’t cramp your style, either.”
I snorted at her words, and her eyes twinkled.
“I mean if you change your mind about dating,” she said.
“I won’t.”
“If you do, let me know, and I’ll make myself scarce. But while I’m here, I can help you get this place livable.”
At my confused look, she laughed. Joy suffused me at the carefree, happy sound, and I snatched it out of the air to keep it for myself.
“Jake, you don’t have any furniture or dishes.”
“Hey, I have dishes.”
“Paper plates don’t count as dishes.”
“If I can put food on them, it counts.”
Her giggle washed over me, and my shriveled heart clanged a warning sound. Dani living here would be hell on me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“No, I’ll take the floor. It’s stupid for you to sleep on the floor in your own house. Alternately, it’d be easy to sneak in next door. The likelihood of anyone seeing me, and it getting back to Beau is nil.”
Her voice rose with each word, and she glared at me from her diminutive height. With her hands planted on her hips, she vibrated with annoyance at what she called my pigheadedness. God, why would Beau diminish all that sparkle?
“I’m not letting you sleep on the floor,” I said flatly. “My sleeping bag will be fine. That’s what I used the first week I was here, and I’ve had worse.”
She was stubborn, but I was a stubborn ass. After a lengthy stare-down, she finally conceded with grumpy acceptance.
“Fine. But only for tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll figure out something else.”
I grunted my agreement. I’d get furniture and throw rugs and everything else she needed. Now that we’d crossed this Rubicon, I wanted her to stay.
After I unrolled my sleeping bag, I waited for her to return from the bathroom. She was changing into a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in.
The sound of my heartbeat filled my ears as I memorized everything about tonight.
Maybe tomorrow she’d change her mind, and this would be the only time we’d share a roof.
She returned from the bathroom and scurried under the covers, but not before I caught a glimpse of surprisingly long, toned legs under my t-shirt.
The vision of her in my clothes burned into my brain, but I’d choke on my own tongue before I asked why she wasn’t wearing the shorts. I turned off the bedroom lights. Moonlight shone through the blinds and kept the room from plunging into full darkness.
“Good night, Dani Girl.”
“Good night, Jake. Thank you again.”
“You’d do the same for me.”
Quiet settled over the house. Sleep never came easily for me, and I soaked up the knowledge of having her in my house, my clothes, This was the closest I’d get to my dream, and I wasn’t going to miss it for some stupid sleep.
Dani tossed and turned for a long time before she sat up.
“This is stupid,” she said. “I’m never gonna fall asleep like this.”
“I’m sorry, I—“
“This bed is big enough for both of us, and we’re adults who can control ourselves. Get your ass up here, or I’m going to join you on the floor. I have too much guilt to fall asleep, but I’m tired, so don’t argue with me.”
My brain stuttered to a halt.
“Well?” she demanded.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
The image of her bare legs sliding under my sheets taunted me.
“I trust you, Jake, but if you don’t trust me, we can build a wall with pillows. Wait, you don’t have that many pillows.” Her soft laughter caressed me. “I don’t care. Get your ass up here so I can go to sleep.”
“I’m fine where I am.”
“But I’m not. Come on, Jake. I’m exhausted, but I can’t relax because you’re on the hard floor because you helped me. My brain won’t let that go.”
Fuck. Naturally, she’d feel guilty about me sleeping on the floor when I’d had much worse places to sleep.
“Fine,” I grumbled after examining all the other possibilities.
With my sleeping bag in hand, I navigated to the bed in the dark. The last thing I needed was to see her in my bed, her hair tangled across my pillow, her face soft with sleep. No, my imagination was torture enough.
I placed the sleeping bag on top of the bed and climbed into it, and Dani laughed again. It would be warmer than I preferred, but it would also hopefully hide my morning wood.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said on a yawn.
“No, you are.”