Chapter 17
DANI
“Vanessa, I’m so screwed.”
I sucked down the rest of my mimosa. Her eyes brightened, and she raised her hand to request a refill.
“Two more mimosas, please,” she asked the passing waitress.
“But you can’t drink,” I argued.
“You’re more forthcoming when you’ve had a few,” she snickered, “and I’m driving anyway.”
Vanessa brought me to a neighboring town for brunch. She claimed it was because she didn’t want me anywhere near the Tavern on my day off, but it was obviously so I’d spill the beans where we wouldn’t be overheard.
“You were right,” I moaned and buried my face in my hands.
“As much as I love hearing that,” she preened, “you’ll have to be more specific.”
“Jake’s perfect.”
“Oh.” She elongated the sound. “I don’t think I said that.”
“You said he’d make a great dad, and he would. He’d also make a great boyfriend if he was remotely interested in me, but he was horrified. If I wasn’t already practically dead down there, I’d be mortified at how quickly he ran away from me after he woke up this morning.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up and tell me everything,” she demanded.
It all spilled out in a rush.
“Wow, that’s quite an update.”
I snort-laughed, and she patted my hand.
“Hold that thought. The kidlet is dancing on my bladder, so I’ll be back in a minute. Can you order more fresh tortillas for the queso fundido?”
After she excused herself, I checked my phone, surprised to find messages from Jake, which I hadn’t heard over the noise of the brunch crowd.
Jake: Do you like any of these?
My breath caught when I looked at the attached pictures. He willingly went shopping and picked out a bed for me. Beau couldn’t even–
I cut off the thought. Nothing good would come from it.
Me: How much are they?
Jake: That’s not what I asked.
Me: Then I won’t choose.
Jake: I’ll pick then. Hope it doesn’t suck, but it’ll be your fault if it does.
Jake: I’m leaning towards the second one.
The first was a beautiful sleigh bed with simple, graceful lines and a dark finish.
It was gorgeous, but I moved around too much and would kick the foot board.
The second bed was simple with an elegant, upholstered headboard and a padded frame.
The final one would work, too, but I loved the second one.
Me: I’ll pay you back.
Jake: Sales lady is here. Gotta run.
When I set my phone down, Vanessa met my gaze with a knowing smile.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“Jake. I told you he was horrified after sharing a bed with me, so he’s buying me a bed. Right now. He narrowed it down but wanted me to choose.”
“He picked out a bed for you?”
“Because he’s desperate to make sure I have my own place to sleep tonight.”
“And you’re not worried about his choices?”
“Jake? No, he picked exactly what I want.”
I squirmed under the stare she leveled at me.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him, but he is not indifferent to you.”
“He’s not indifferent; he’s just not interested in me that way. That’s okay. His friendship is too important to mess up. I feel more myself with him around.”
I stared at my drink.
“It’s for the best. I don’t know how to have a healthy relationship, and my life’s a disaster.
I should probably be alone for a while. We both just got out of long-term relationships that ended badly, and neither of us are in a good place.
What if it’s a rebound? Those never last, and our friendship would be over for nothing. ”
“You’re babbling.”
“I’m babbling.”
We grinned at each other, and some of my tension dissolved.
“I still think he’s in to you,” Vanessa said. “But you need time, so it’s a good thing you live with him already.”
We finished brunch, and she drove us back. When we arrived, the contents of my storage unit were spread around the living room, and Jake was already assembling my new bed. My eyes flitted everywhere. There so many treasures I’d forgotten. Emotion welled up in me.
“Thought you’d want to set up your furniture before we move the boxes in,” Jake said gruffly when I thanked him.
He showed me to my new room, which was his old room. At any other time, I would have made a joke about being in the room where he used to jack off as a teenager, but I refrained for obvious reasons.
The expression on Vanessa’s face indicated she fought a similar battle, so I grabbed her to help me get my things from my parents’ house.
I let them know earlier about my change in address, and they were delighted.
“He’ll finally have some dishes, and your mom can calm down,” my dad teased.
“More importantly, he won’t be alone anymore,” my mother responded primly.
When we reached my old room, I warned Vanessa.
“Most stuff can be carried next door, but there are some things I want to pack.”
“Why?”
I widened my eyes at her meaningfully, but she didn’t get it.
“The present you got me last year,” I whispered.
“Oh my god!” she whooped. “You used it!”
“Shh,” I ordered. “No need to announce it to the world.”
“It’s because Jake’s back, isn’t it?” she asked with a knowing smirk.
“I hate you.”
“You love me. What you need now is to ride that man’s dick until neither of you can walk for a week.”
I choked on my laughter and shushed her again.
“It’s true,” she argued before she pantomimed zipping her lips.
Laughing, we packed up my vibrator and practical underwear. She shook her head and muttered, “shameful,” at the lackluster state of my utilitarian bras and panties. I added my bathroom supplies since it would give me cover for why I needed to pack up things to carry them next door.
I didn’t bother to tape the carboard. I folded it shut by tucking the alternate flaps. Vanessa carried the first load of clothing while I held the box, and we made the first trek to my new room.
When we got back to my room, Jake was almost done putting my bed frame together. I was eager to sleep in my very own bed tonight.
“Good timing,” he said. “You can help me bring in the mattress.”
“Let me put this box in the bathroom, and I’ll help you.”
“I can take it,” he insisted.
He reached for the cardboard, and I tugged it back. It was too much for the box, which unfolded itself from the underside. Everything slid to the floor in slow motion. My boring bras and underwear, that bright pink vibrator, and all my toiletries spilled on the floor at my feet.
Guess I should have taped the bottom of the box.
Everyone froze. The three of us stared at one another in a horrified silence. Vanessa was the first to break, but once she choked on a laugh, I lost it.
“Why hasn’t the floor swallowed me up by now?” I wailed.
“It’s afraid of what else it might grab,” Vanessa snickered.
Jake’s ears turned red, but he shook his head with a grin. When he bent down to pick up my toothpaste, I shrieked at him.
“Out, out!” I cried. “Give me a few minutes to die of mortification, and then we’ll get the mattress.”
He left the room on a chuckle. Red-faced, I wiped away tears of both laughter and embarrassment. I turned to Vanessa.
“I have to move again, don’t I?”
“Don’t you dare. Now he won’t be able to think about anything but whether or not you’re using that vibrator. It’s perfect.”
A week passed, and we settled into a routine. I’m more relaxed and at home here. I only needed a few hours to unpack everything, and I spent the rest of the day reveling in my own space.
The longer I was away from Beau, the more I found myself. Daily, I rebuilt who I was and what I wanted from life, and I was going for it. For years, I only reacted to life. It was time to make things happen.
“Beating yourself up doesn’t change anything. Making changes is the only thing that does.”
First up was closing the book on Beau. I can’t undo the last few years and stop myself from doubling down on bad decisions and dumb mistakes, but I can regain some of my sense of self and hopefully some of the money he stole from me.
While I hired a lawyer because I was clueless about what to do, Shayla was the best choice I’d made in ages. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to run my credit report, so I might not have known for years about the card he opened in my name.
“You can’t let this go,” Shayla said. “It’s no longer a he said/she said situation. This is clearly identity theft.”
“I know,” I moaned.
“I can’t believe the nerve of this guy,” she fumed.
My lawyer identified all the steps to report him to the Sheriff’s office, contacted the utilities on my behalf, helped me with the paperwork to contest the charges with my credit card companies, and kept me from freaking out through the whole process.
Shayla organized everything to file against Beau to recover the money I paid him for the bills he didn’t pay.
While she can’t represent me in small claims court, she’s preparing everything for the process.
She’s thought of so many things that wouldn’t have occurred to me, so it’s been worth the money.
All in all, Shayla’s been a total rock star. I want her to celebrate with me at the Tavern. Even if I don’t win my small claims court case, I didn’t give in. It’s been stressful, despite her help, but I’m proud of myself.
Now that my bills are reasonable, I plan to scale back at the Tavern, but not yet.
The Arts Fest is coming up, and it’s always busy.
I won’t let Dakota down after all he’s done for me.
Once the festival is over, and I pay Jake back, I plan to cut my hours so I can devote more time to growing my own business.
Of course, I can’t stop thinking about what Vanessa said about Jake. The longer I live with him, the more convinced I am he’d make a great father. After all he’s been through, he understands the importance of patience and calm.
More, I want to be what he needs. His safe place and light in the darkness. He’s such a hilariously grumpy bear. I live to make him laugh. It’s the highlight of my day whenever his lips turn up in that wicked little smile. When coax a full smile out of him, I carry it with me all day.
I also can’t stop thinking about how he looked that night in his boxer briefs.
Despite the “Danger, Keep Out” signs posted on my memories, my imagination visits more often than I like to admit.
When I’m in bed and can’t sleep, I take matters into my own hands.
Despite my best efforts, all my fantasies involve Jake.