11. Hadley
Hadley
I take a step away from Nolan, grappling for breath as I work to ignore the pressure building at the apex of my thighs, the way my breasts feel heavy, and my fingers curl, missing the heat of his body in my grasp.
I try to block out the objections in my brain that are demanding I duck into a dark corner or the basement door which is only a few feet away and explore more of this—demand more of this—of him.
I look at where Katie is standing at the door, fuming as she searches for Nolan.
“Shit, I… Shit…” Nolan says, shaking his head.
Regret is a meteor, crashing into my reality, destroying the calm that was underlying my desire as I work to make sense of what just happened. I just made out with my roommate’s brother. I’m trying to strengthen my friendship with Katie and kissed Nolan.
I’m a terrible friend.
And I let this party happen, with little objection, and did nothing as people continued to fill the house.
And Nolan’s not just my friend’s brother, he’s my roommate.
We live together, and more than that, I barely know him.
Which would probably be fine under normal circumstances for normal people, but I’m not normal.
I’m a sloth when it comes to relationship progression.
I dated my boyfriend in high school for three years before we slept together, and I knew Ezra for three months before I kissed him—because he was too shy to make the first move.
“I have to talk to Katie,” Nolan says.
“I’ll talk to her. You should get people to leave before she calls the police.”
“She’s going to be pissed. I deserve this wrath.
” His lips and the skin around his mouth are stained with my lip gloss.
A wave of self-consciousness crashes over me as I question if I’m a messy kisser.
A horrible, messy, amateur kisser. How did my mouth get on his chin or that high on his upper lip?
“You have…” I point at my mouth.
Nolan smirks, and it’s so cocky I feel myself turn a shade redder, and then he starts chewing the gum I’d had in my mouth before our kiss, and I burn up with embarrassment.
He turns, his broad shoulders catching my attention as he weaves through the crowd. People clasp hands on his shoulder, working to gain his attention. He spares them smiles and brief words as he works to reach Katie who looks angry enough to punch him.
From here, I can’t hear clearly, but know without a doubt Katie’s demanding everyone leave as she waves in wide gestures and points at the door.
“We could set up body shots,” a guy says, putting his hands on the dining room table and pressing down as though to test its durability.
“Sorry, guys, the party’s over,” I tell them before the plans can come to fruition. “But you’re ten minutes away from frat row,” I assure them. “They’ll still be going full swing.”
They give me a cursory glance, and then turn their backs, ignoring me. “Have you seen any liquor?” One asks.
Dick.
The word nearly leaves my mouth as Lenny appears. “Let’s go! Party’s over.” He waves with one arm, reminding me of a parking attendant in Vegas, directing traffic. “You.” He points at someone I can’t see. “Leave the glass.”
The guys who ignored me, ignore Lenny, as well.
The music turns off and every light in the house is turned on as a couple of others move around the space, directing people to leave. I recognize Hudson and realize they’re all Nolan’s teammates.
“Sorry,” one of the guys says. He has dark hair, a squared jaw, and kind eyes. “The party’s over. If you need to get a ride, you can wait inside until they come.”
“I live here.”
He looks surprised. “Hadley?”
He knows my name. The fact nearly knocks me over. I nod.
He shakes his head, chuckling. “He’s such a fucking liar. I’m Corey.”
“Who’s a liar?”
He shakes his head again then stops as the guys I’d attempted to kick out moments ago gather around the dining room table, still plotting their idea. “Let’s go, assholes.” Corey waves his hand in their direction.
One moves, the rest don’t.
It makes me feel a perverse sense of relief that it’s not just me they were avidly ignoring, considering Corey’s substantially larger and more intimidating than me.
“Hey,” Grey appears, his face set with a scowl as he stares at the guys brave—or stupid—enough not to listen. “Get the fuck out. Now.”
They slowly move, following the crowd outside where the engines and stereos of cars are likely waking our neighbors.
I glance across the house, taking inventory of the mess, and do a double take when noticing Hannah in the corner of the formal living room with who I’m assuming is Ethan.
His arm is wrapped around her shoulder, as he tells her something.
As she laughs, he leans close and kisses her.
It’s ridiculously cute, and while I support her decision and plan, I sure as hell hope he’s a good enough guy that it makes her question her plan, not because she’s wrong but because she deserves someone that good.
“This was a mistake.” Katie’s words pull my attention to where she’s still talking to Nolan at the base of the stairs. “I knew it was a mistake to let you move in,” Katie continues.
“I’ll clean it up,” Nolan tells her.
“Yes you will, and then you’ll move out.”
“Katie,—”
“No. This is my life, my house. I let you stay here conditionally, as long as you were willing to follow the rules, and you couldn’t even last two weeks.” She shakes her head, peering around the house that shockingly has few signs of the party that’s still being broken up.
Shame is my shadow. I could have stopped it from getting so out of hand— should have stopped it.
There was a constant stream of people coming in the house for the past hour, maybe longer, and I didn’t say anything because for the first time I was allowing that impulsive voice to lead, feeding the idea that this would be fun and exciting.
“You have until tomorrow night,” Katie says. “And then you’re out.”
“Katie, it wasn’t his fault,” Lenny says. “Nolan didn’t invite anyone but us. I’m who invited the rest.”
Katie fixes a glare on Lenny. “Of course, you did. You two idiots are the worst influence on each other.”
“I think of plenty of bad ideas by myself,” Lenny says.
A tall guy with dark curly hair laughs, drawing Katie’s attention. “Aren’t you supposed to be the responsible one, Pops?”
“We won. It’s the first game of the season. We needed to celebrate,” the dark-haired guy says in response.
It looks as though steam is about to pour from Katie’s ears. “ Not in my house.” She nails at least three of the other teammates with a glare before settling on me. Confusion and betrayal cloud her gaze before she ascends the stairs two at a time.
When I turn back around, Hannah’s staring at me, her happy cloud of bliss cracked.
“Well, shit,” Lenny says. “Want me to go talk to her?”
Evelyn scoffs. “No. You just failed negotiation one oh one.”
“It’s because she’s trying to fight her attraction to me,” Lenny says, running a hand down his chest and earning a handful of snickers and scoffs. He smiles, accepting them all before eyeing me. “What kind of pull do you have, roomie?”
“Let’s not worry about it,” Nolan says. “Let’s just clean shit up and give Katie time to cool down. I’ll handle it.”
Without debate or direction, the group does exactly that. The house is mostly silent at first, then slowly, a low hum of conversation with frequent jeers and chuckles fills the house as Nolan’s teammates and a few friends stick around to help us clean the puddles of beer and stray cups.
I’ve always thought of our house being a sanctuary, a safe place from the chaos of college, the parties, and all the craziness, but filled with the friendship and comradery of the group has that familiar hollow place in my chest growing and becoming increasingly noticeable, and I find myself missing April as well as missed opportunities from last year.
I’m righting the chairs and clearing the dining room table, when Evelyn appears, a wince marring her expression. “I’m really sorry,” she says. “I hope we didn’t cause too much of a mess or a problem for you and Katie.” She grabs a random sweatshirt off the floor that was left behind.
I shake my head. “Don’t worry,” I tell her. “I’m sure she’s just feeling a little blindsided by finding a hundred people packed into the house.”
“I think there was more,” Evelyn says, following me into the kitchen. “In that last twenty minutes or so, the group seemed to double.” She releases a regretful sigh. “I feel bad. I wouldn’t want this many people in my house, either.”
Neither would I.
Normally.
We both turn when the guys start laughing at something.
“How long have you all been friends?” I ask, feeling the tendrils of envy curl around my chest.
Humor has Evelyn’s dark eyes shining. “I’ve known Hudson and Mila forever, but I just met the others this summer.”
“Really?” My shock is born in the natural and comfortable way she interacts with them all.
Evelyn nods, glancing over her shoulder again in the direction of Hudson. “We grew up together, and then kind of lost touch.”
A gaze that shouldn’t feel so familiar or recognizable has me looking at Nolan where he’s standing with a group of friends, watching me with an expression I can’t read.
“Could you do me a favor?” I ask, turning to Evelyn.
Amusement crosses her features.
“Nolan and I somehow started a prank war, and if you could do a little covert digging, and find out if he has any irrational dislikes or fears—mild, nothing that would be cruel—I would appreciate it.”
Evelyn grins and pulls her phone from her back pocket. “It would be the highlight of my week. Give me your number, and I’ll text you if I learn anything.” As we finish exchanging numbers, the guys howl with laughter.