29. Conor
Conor
“You’re awake,” Aiden says gruffly as he stands directly in front of me.
He’s still wearing his dress shirt and slacks from last night’s ridiculous group date…
though it could have just as easily happened last year.
Five o’clock shadow peppers his jaw, and his eyes are puffy.
And yet, the fire of a thousand suns rages within them.
He’s clutching two cups of coffee, but by the look on his face, I’m not sure if he brought the second one to give me, or to pour on my head.
“Yeah,” I croak nervously. “It was a long night.”
I sit up from where I’m slouching on the orange, plastic hospital chair, and rub my eyes.
I’m still wrapped in a fog of sleep. The waiting room smells like an unfortunate combination of bleach and stale coffee, undercut with the faint metallic smell of blood.
All together, it makes me feel a bit like puking into the nearest trash can.
I wouldn’t say I’m a squeamish man. I donate blood regularly, and I often find myself leaning forward, intrigued, when there’s an operation scene happening on the show House .
But, nothing could have prepared me for the miracle of childbirth. It’s always tough to see someone you love suffer... And seeing my sister in so much pain is not something I want to relive in a hurry.
Pete was hours late, so I sat by Mia’s bedside through the whole beginning of the labor. I did exactly what the nurse suggested, and dutifully fed her pieces of ice—until she bit my finger, that is.
Apparently that was her way of communicating that she didn’t want any more ice.
Things got all the scarier when it came time for her to push. I held onto her hand for dear life, squeezed my eyes shut, and sent up a prayer. The fingernail marks in my hand may be there permanently.
But, in all seriousness, Mia was an absolute champ. She was calm in the face of her husband’s absence, with the knowledge that he was racing up the interstate to get to her in time. And, she was calmer still when the doctor said that the new plan was an immediate, emergency C-section.
Me, on the other hand? Yup, I had to sit down because I felt faint.
Faint. At the mere mention of a C-section.
I was mortified. But also dizzy and in need of an orange juice. So, let’s just say I went from being helpful to being a hindrance in one fell swoop.
Luckily, my prayers were answered in the form of Pete showing up in the nick of time to go into surgery with Mia. Otherwise, there was a chance they may have had two patients laying on the operating tables.
I spent the rest of the night in the waiting room, rocking back and forth, traumatized… Just kidding.
Mostly.
But one thing’s for sure—I have a whole new appreciation for just how badass, strong and amazing women are.
Seriously. What they go through to have children makes us men look like a bunch of puny, prepubescent teenagers at the gym, wearing brightly-colored tank tops as we try, and fail, to bench press even half our bodyweight (which may, or may not, be a sad but true story about fourteen-year-old Conor and his friends).
The only upside to Pete being so late to the hospital was that Aiden was asleep in the waiting room by the time I got out.
I was way too exhausted to talk, especially about me and Jess.
After taking out my phone to text Jess and then realizing that there was no service in the hospital, I slid into an uncomfortable, but very welcome, dreamless sleep.
Now, it’s morning. And Aiden and I are the only ones here—save for Cynthia, the plump, smiley receptionist who’s currently watching us like we’re the latest episode of Big Brother.
I wonder where Jess is. Is she coming?
Aiden considers the cups in his hands, like he’s still deciding what to do with the spare. Silence stretches between us like a tensed elastic band. One that's about to snap.
“Coffee?” he says.
Relief floods my veins and I tentatively, gratefully, take the cup. “Thank you.”
He gives me a small nod. “Pete came through a couple of minutes ago. He’s running home to get Ollie, and asked us to be with Mia and meet your new niece while he’s gone.”
“Our new niece,” I correct automatically. Because, in our tight-knit friend group, Aiden will become “Uncle Aiden” to the baby just as much as I’m “Uncle Conor.”
Friends who feel like family, right? Which is why I need to explain myself to Aiden as soon as possible. For the sake of our friendship, which is one I truly value. I never meant to break any trust with him, and it’s time to face the music.
“Aiden, I—” I begin, but he holds up a hand.
“Let’s do this afterwards.” He looks as tired as I feel. “Mia comes first right now.”
“Okay,” I agree. Because not only do I know that he’s right, I also know that I need to let this conversation unfold on his terms. As much as I want to ask him if he’s heard from Jess, I know this isn’t the time, nor the place.
And so, we walk down fluorescent-lit corridors filled with humming machines to Room 5107, where we meet Adelyn Joy Stevenson for the first time.
She’s beautiful. Perfect. Amazing in every way.
And, by the way Aiden and I both react to the tiny human before us, this little lady is going to be one extra-spoiled little girl.
Like seriously, I’m in love.
“Congratulations, you did awesome.” I kiss my sister on the forehead before returning my gaze to little Addie, lying in her cot by the bed. She’s got the same nose as Mia and I, which makes me smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted. Sore,” Mia says tiredly. She’s deathly pale, her voice is quiet, and she winces every time she moves, but the pure love and infatuation burning in her eyes is enough to tell me that the pain was all worth it for her, now that Addie’s here.
Not for the first time in the last twelve hours, I let myself imagine being in this situation with Jess someday. How it would feel to be at her side for the birth of our daughter. Or son.
Hopefully I’d feel a little less faint than I did this time.
After greeting Mia and cooing over Addie for a bit, Aiden sinks into a chair near the bed. I hover awkwardly close by, instead of sitting in the other chair. I have a feeling Aiden doesn’t particularly want me sitting next to him right now.
But, perceptive as ever, Mia notices my hesitation. She looks suspiciously from me to Aiden. “Is something going on with you two?”
Maybe it’s a touch of deliriousness from lack of proper sleep, but my mouth kicks into gear before my brain does and I answer Mia’s question honestly. “I’m in love with Jess.”
“Duh,” Mia says, at the same time as Aiden practically yells, “YOU WHAT?”
Aiden’s face turns white as he casts a panicked, sideways glance at the peacefully sleeping Adelyn. Satisfied that she’s not stirring, he lowers his voice to a whisper-hiss and repeats, “ you what ?”
Mia flaps her hand dismissively, making her wince again. “Oh, please, he’s been in love with Jess since the moment she walked through your front door. The guy had no hope from day one.”
I pull a face at my sister. “Well, that’s not quite how it went...”
“You’re in love with her?” Aiden sounds stunned. Beyond stunned. Like a man who’s just found out water isn’t wet. “I didn’t even think you knew what love was.”
I cross my arms defensively. “Uh, right back atcha there, buddy.”
He shrugs, unoffended. “Exactly. I thought you and I felt the same about it all—love, relationships, dating... Which is why I warned Jess you dated tons of women, and might make a pass at her.”
Rude.
I look at my friend sharply, definitely offended. “Ex- cuse me?”
“Okay, okay,” Aiden relents grudgingly. “Not tons, but plenty. Enough that last thing I expected was for you to go and fall in love with my sister—I mean, come on , it’s such a cliche.”
“Look, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. And, I know it looks bad, but believe me—”
“Jess seems really happy since I got back.” Aiden fixes me with a sudden death glare, his menacing tone clashing with his much more pleasant words. “Did you do that?”
I blink, unsure of exactly how this conversation is actually going. “I do my best to make her happy every single day. To show her that she’s wonderful, and that my life is so much better with her in it.”
“Yes,” Mia adds, eyes glittering. “He means yes. He did that. They make each other stupid happy, it’s adorable to watch. You’ll see.”
Aiden looks from me, to Mia, then back to me. “Johnny made her miserable.”
“I know,” I tell Aiden. “Jess told me all about it, and honestly, I’m in awe of her.
Jess is one of the strongest, kindest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met.
And, I know it's really soon for her to get into another relationship, but, I’d never put myself in the picture if her wants and needs didn’t come first. In my eyes, and in hers.
Because I want to build a life—a future—with her. ”
“My best friend, and my sister,” Aiden repeats, more thoughtfully this time.
“You’re beginning to sound like Ross from Friends ,” Mia says. Which makes us both laugh.
Aiden screws his nose up, and he looks remarkably like Jess for a very frightening shadow of a second. “I need a minute to get used to this.”
Mia and I are quiet as Aiden rubs his forehead, closing his eyes.
My stomach is twisted into a nervous knot as I wait for his next words—because even though neither Jess, nor I, need his permission to be with the person we love, Aiden means a lot to both of us.
And as such, his blessing means a lot, too.
Finally, he sighs. “Does she know you love her?”
I shake my head. “I was going to tell her last night, but—”
“You got interrupted,” Aiden finishes.
“Exactly.”
Aiden adjusts the collar of his shirt before he leans forward, his gaze trained on me like he’s some kind of prize hunting dog, and I’m the unfortunate fox.
“So, tell me, Conor. If she doesn’t know you love her yet.” Aiden’s voice is dangerously quiet. “Why the hell are you still sitting here?”
I shoot him a sharp look, my face a question mark.
Aiden nods, and it’s all I need.
He doesn’t need to tell me twice. I frantically pull on my sweater and run to kiss my sister’s cheek.
Mia laughs, then groans in pain and uses a few choice four-letter words. “Get out of here before you split my stitches!”
“Sorry, sorry!” I shoot Mia an apologetic look, then clap my best friend on the shoulder as I run past him. I get to the door before doubling back on myself. “Uh, I’m going to need some car keys.”
Aiden throws me the keys with a hint of a smile. “I’m proud of you, bro.... But if you screw this up with Jess, if you hurt her, you’re a dead man. Understand?”
I’m pretty sure I could take Aiden in a fight, but he doesn’t need to know I think that. So, I nod in agreement. “Loud and clear.”
Aiden smiles for real, this time. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her.”
And so, with everything finally put right, I jog down the corridors towards the hospital exit.
Because if this was actually an episode of Friends , it would be The One Where Conor and Jess Get Their Happy Ending.