CHAPTER – 14.3
"Sleep", he said ruffling her hair...
"You just came ?? What's the time ?", she asked rubbing her eyes again to wake up fully.
"There is still some time for you to wake up, go back to sleep, I'll change your saree, hm ?", he asked softly, she hummed and closed her eyes while he took off her saree and made her wear her nightie, and applied lotion on her rash gently. She held his palm and pulled him to bed, he sighed, knowing she wanted him to sit beside her while she slept so he obliged.
"Why didn't you change before sleeping ??", he asked gently ruffling her hair...
"Hm...", she hummed in irritation in sleep frowning...
"Okay, sleep, I won't disturb you", he whispered ruffling her hair... after she completely dozed off, he kissed her forehead and went to freshen up... he offered prayers to his Shiva, Abhyansh never wished for anything from him, he just prayed to his Mahadev, he is devoted to him, his devotion is not a part of give and take policy, he believed his Lord knows what to give, whom to give and when to give, he never questioned him, never asked him anything, he just performed his duties and did what he felt is right. But from the time his wife entered his life, there was always this unsaid and unthought plea in Abhyansh's head to keep his wife safe and happy. He can't even imagine something happening to her, it scared him a lot. He never expressed his fears to anyone, not even to his wife but how could he hide it from his Mahadev ??
After he was done with all the prayers, he walked back to his room to see a lady servant entering the room to clean the coffee that was spilled on the floor. She greeted him bowing her head down and that's when Isha entered with another cup of coffee. She fumed seeing her husband half nak*d with just his red shawl barely covering his upper body.
"Ratna... please leave, I'll clean it", Isha said sternly, and that made her leave immediately...
"Next time, you come out of the temple, put a pin over here", Isha said holding his shawl together covering his whole upper body. Abhyansh who understood his wife's jealousy smirked at it, his heart warmed at her possessiveness but chose to tease her.
"Why should I ?? It's not like they have never seen me like that...", he said mentioning the Pujas and yagnas he does at the main temple every year in front of thousands of crowd for the benefit of his people.
"That's before I came into your life, now it's different... I don't like any woman seeing you like this", she said, now, he remembered how she pinned his shawl during the last Maha Shiv Ratri Puja they both performed together. She observed his shawl kept displacing due to the heavy winds. He thought she did it to make it easy for him but now he understood her possessiveness.
"Why ??", he asked pulling her by her waist...
"You know why? Now have your coffee and get changed", she said taking his hands off her, before walking to clean the coffee, he put his coffee cup away and walked to her pulling her away.
"I'll ask someone to clean it", he said, he couldn't see her doing all this stuff...
"Why ?? To show off your body ??", she taunted him, he is amused at her choice of words, he never thought about women finding him attractive or not, it never crossed his head, his anti-social attitude never let him think about it, only after marriage did he start looking into mirror to make sure he is looking fine. He just wants to look good to his wife. He knew he was extremely good-looking but never thought about putting his features into use until marriage.
Isha knew her husband was far from doing all that but she was angry.
"Fine then I'll clean it, but not you", he said bending down, when she stopped him.
"Leave it, I'll ask someone to do it later, go and have your coffee, this is the second time I'm bringing it, I won't do it again... I can't come all the way here for the third time", she said and he cupped her face in concern.
"Why are you bringing it from the main kitchen ?? You are supposed to make it here right ??", he asked mentioning their kitchen in their chamber... after they got the kitchen in their chamber, she mostly prepared his coffee and some basic snacks there as its easily accessible rather than going all the way to the head kitchen in the central wing of the palace.
"We don't have milk here, and today I woke up late, so couldn't bring them from the main kitchen, now stop with your questions and have coffee Rana sa", she said handing him the coffee. He sat on the couch having his coffee, she is about to leave when he pulled her to sit beside him. He enjoyed having his coffee with her beside him.
"Why are you bringing milk and other things yourself ?? Usually, servants drop it here no ?", he asked and she sighed.
"I'm not a queen to have servants at my service Rana sa, and it's better this way, I like to do things on my own", she said shocking him. He just thought she refused to respond when someone was addressing her 'Rani sa' but now by hearing her he understood she is actually putting it into action by doing things that a queen is not supposed to.
"Are you serious right now ??", he fumed
"Ab subha subha jagda na kare humse(Now, Please don't fight with me early in the morning)", she got up and quickly left, as she knew her husband was extremely mad now.
He freshened up and walked down to the breakfast table
During breakfast, he kept glaring at her and she looked the other way trying to ignore his glares. She is very afraid of the consequences, her husband would tolerate her every disrespectful act to some extent and her rebellious attitude for the sake of his extreme love for her but causing discomfort to herself isn't one of them. Isha is thinking all of this while serving her husband.
"Rani sa... it's very hot, you'll hurt yourself", the servant who is serving the other family members cautioned Isha when she saw her about to touch the hot soup vessel instead of the ladle. Isha who was busy in her deep thoughts didn't hear her, Abhyansh held her hand before she hurt herself.
"ISHA... what the hell is wrong with you ??", Abhyansh shouted scaring everyone, he thought she purposely did that to show how unresponsive she could be when she is addressed as 'Rani sa'.
Isha came out of her thoughts when she heard her husband's loud voice. Looking at him holding her wrist, she understood the whole thing.
"I... I didn't see", she fumbled looking at the furious look on his face, but his anger is unmatched now. She could do anything but cannot hurt herself, that's unbearable for him.
Abhyansh got even angrier at her answer. She didn't see ?? How can she not, He got up from his chair making everyone else too get up... this never happened, he never got up in the middle of having food, it's considered disrespect to the food and he strictly followed all these traditions, but looking at him doing it, the family expected a heavy storm. Isha literally shivered anticipating what's about to come.
He pulled her with him to the main hall holding her wrist, she is so scared that not even a single word left her mouth.
"BHAIRAV", he shouted for Bhairav, who rushed to the king... "make the amendments to change the system... the changes RANI SA wanted... should be effective 30 days from now", Abhyansh declared shocking Bhairav and the whole family. "All the responsibilities that were handled by Rajmata Devyani Devi and Mrs. Amruta Ranawat till 2 decades earlier will now be handled by Rani ISHA ABHYANSH SINGH RANAWAT", Abhyansh said coldly, stressing on 'RANI Isha' making his words loud and clear for everyone, especially to his crazy wife.
Amruta cupped her mouth in shock while Avyan and Pratap for a second forgot to breathe, they couldn't believe what was happening there. They never thought Abhyansh would again trust anyone else with these responsibilities after the mishap that happened almost 2 decades earlier. Devyani Devi was the only member in the family who has a comparatively better reaction, she is definitely surprised but it was a pleasant one. She did expect this, but not this soon. Her grandson sure loved his wife more than she thought him to.
"AM I CLEAR ?", Abhyansh screamed startling Isha, he was furious and Bhairav's unresponsiveness was causing him more fury. Bhairav who was shocked and went deep in thoughts at the dark past came out of his reverie with his king's scream.
"Ji Hukum(Yes Your Royal Highness)", Bhairav said, bowing down and went away, he was definitely disappointed with Abhyansh's decision. He didn't think Isha to be capable of handling those huge responsibilities, his family made a huge sacrifice to protect the royal family, after the mishaps by Amruta and Rajmata Devyani who allowed her daughter-in-law to leave the palace without proper reasoning. But like always, Bhairav trusted his king and his decision, though for a second he thought Abhyansh was doing this in his wife's love, though he(Abhyansh) knew this was a wrong decision.
All the staff too dispersed after Bhairav left, leaving only the family in the huge hall which looked nothing less scary than a haunted place, with its defeating silence.
"Are you happy now ?? Is there anything else you want from me? Kahe toh khatam karde khud ko ??(Will kill myself if you say)", Abhyansh asked in a harsh tone, her eyes welled up, she wanted to defend herself but no words came out, his harsh tone and words cut deep through her heart. How can he say that ?? She never wanted to hurt him, but she did, she realized it by her husband's words.
She didn't want him to do this, she thought he would at least loosen the rules for the family if not completely abolish them, or some other alternative for it, or at least give her some reason why he is being so strict but out of all, she didn't expect this. She didn't want anything for herself, she never craved for power, but his words made her feel as if she wanted this.
The dark past because of which he had to take control of the palace into his own hands came into his head causing his BEAST form to make its presence. He quickly walked away leaving his wife to gulp her tears.
She took her phone and left for work, asking Avyan to bring her bag to the office as she didn't want to face her husband right now. She knew he was far more hurt than she was, and she could only help him if she got through her pain first. She got into the car where her brother was waiting for her and Avyan like every day.
"Where is Avyan ??", Ranveer asked, observing his sister's red face as if she is holding up her tears.
"He will come later, now start the car", she said, her voice cracking
"Bacha, what happened ?? You are scaring me", Ranveer asked cupping his sister's face...
"Bhai, you once said, I can cry if I want to, I don't have to put on a forceful smile, you meant it ??", Isha asked, and two tears escaped.
"Of course, Ishu... bacha... bhayyu is there for you... your bhai won't judge you ever, you can be vulnerable in front of me", Ranveer said ruffling her hair...
"You won't ask me the reason right ??", she asked, more tears slipping, he shook his head reluctantly, and she sobbed hugging her brother. Her husband's words ran in her head, more than her pain, his pain that made him utter those words caused her tears. She hated herself at that moment for loving him so much but she also knew he loved her more than she did.
After she got fine, Ranveer drove off to her office.
"Ishu... you don't have to go to work if you are not fine...", Ranveer told his sister, he didn't want her to work with all the things that were running in her head.
"I'm fine bhai... don't worry...", Isha said, Ranveer stopped her from getting out yet, asking her to call Ragini or Reetu to accompany her in the elevator, but Isha shook her head, but Ranveer is adamant about not allowing her alone, so he accompanied her in the elevator from B4 to 1. Isha went to her work office while Ranveer walked to Abhyansh's cabin in the same floor to avoid any rumours and left for his office after a while. There were a few people who looked curiously when they saw Prince Ranveer Rajput, brother-in-law of their King Abhyansh Singh Ranawat, coming out of the same elevator with a normal employee but this time, Isha didn't care. The things that were running in her head didn't let her concentrate on these petty things.
After a while, she received a call from Avyan, to come and collect her bag, so she went to the ally to Abhyansh's cabin on the 1st floor, which isn't accessible for normal employees.
"Thank you Avyan", Isha said taking her bag.
"Bhabhi sa, you okay ??", Avyan asked concerned for his sister-in-law
"Hm... how is your brother ?? Did he come to office ??", she asked
"Yes, I came with bhai sa only, and I don't know how he is Bhabhi sa, you know him, he wouldn't express anything, his face is void of any emotions, I didn't know what to interpret out of it, but I don't think he is fine after what happened at home today", Avyan said, concerned for his brother. Isha sighed.
"He didn't even have breakfast, and lack of food causes more irritation to him... I'll take something for him, and I'll talk to him as well, don't worry, did you eat something ??", Isha asked
"No, I'm not hungry", Avyan said "what about you ??", he asked
"Go and have something, you can't work with an empty stomach", Isha said and went away, Avyan sighed before walking away to his office.
Isha walked to the cafeteria kitchen and requested the head chef to allow her to cook, he allowed her after several requests, and Isha quickly cooked for her husband and brother-in-law, she took the food telling the kitchen staff that she would return the vessels in a while who agreed reluctantly.
" I prepared breakfast for you, send someone to collect it from the cafeteria kitchen in first floor ", she texted Avyan as she knew he wouldn't have ordered anything.
Isha took the food ignoring the stares she was getting on her way. She reached her husband's cabin and opened it, thankfully, she remembered the passcode he told her the other day.
She hesitantly dialled her husband, she is afraid, whom is she kidding, she is terrified to face his reactions after his harsh words in the morning but she had to, she can't let him stay empty stomach. She sighed deeply when he didn't accept her call but called him again, her heart thudding with nervousness. She wasn't scared of her husband so much in recent times as she is now.
"What do you want now ??", his harsh tone greeted her, it made her sob and he heard it before she could stifle... he cursed his mouth... "I don't want to hurt you Isha... will talk to you later...", he said and hung up, but she called him again, determined this time...
"Come to your cabin in the first floor, now", she said, her tone choking...
"I am busy", he said, he didn't want to see her right now, hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do right now.
"Okay then, I'll come there", she said, her tone held determination making him clench his teeth in anger... she didn't learn her lesson from morning... she dared to blackmail him to hurt herself after the morning incident ?? He fumed.
"I'm coming", he said and hung up, there was a hidden promise in his tone to teach her a lesson, and that made her shiver.
Her husband made his way into his cabin in the next few minutes, and locked the door before storming towards her and holding her arms in his tight grip.
"You want to come to my cabin in the elevator alone ?? Why are you hell-bent on torturing me like this ?? Have mercy on me, will you ??", he said, furious at her negligence for herself, what if she got breathless again ?? The memories of her getting breathless when she had a panic attack surfaced scaring him...
"I love you Ansh... and I'm sorry", she said, tears slipping from her eyes, his grip loosened on her arms, and the fire in him lessened... "have breakfast, please", she said, her voice cracking... he moved away raking his hair...
Abhyansh's eyes fell on the tray making him sigh in regret. Damn him... her hiccups brought him out of his guilt.
"Come here", he said softly, his wife moved into his arms and he hugged her tightly ruffling her hair... "I'm sorry my bacha, I didn't mean to be harsh to you... I'm so sorry...", he apologized, no matter how hurt he is, he shouldn't have been rude to his wife.
She sobbed more into him hugging him tightly, his words caused deep ache to her. She hiccupped between sobs causing panic in him...
"Sh... don't cry, Isha... have some water....", he handed her some water, stroking her hair and arms to calm her.
"How c. can you sa.y that ?? Don't you know how much I love you ?? Why would I want your life ?? Why are you like this ?? Why do you hurt me so much ??", she asked slapping his chest and he let her...
"Because I'm a fool... Rani sa... I'm sorry... I was worried for you... I can't bear the thought of you hurting, the hot vessel would have burnt your hand... and I got so scared", he said hugging her to his chest...
"I didn't do it purposely, I know you think I did it because I don't want to respond to 'Rani sa' but it's not like that, I didn't hear her... I was in my own thoughts, I promised you that I would never hurt myself voluntarily, so why would I break my promise ??", Isha explained...
"I failed to understand my Jaan again, such a bad husband I am huh", he said kissing her forehead, all his pain was sidelined at the sight of her tears, for him, her pain mattered, and he loathed himself for being the reason of her tears once again...
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to give up on the palace's responsibilities completely, I absolutely didn't want you to give those to me, all I expected was to loosen up the restrictions on the family, or at least for you to open up a bit on the reason for you being so rigid about all this, but you took me in a completely different way", she said softly
"I know what you wanted... you don't have to explain yourself to me Isha. I did it because I want to. I can't loosen up the restrictions on them, but I can surely give those responsibilities to someone capable of it", Abhyansh said seriously...
"Then why did you give me ?? I'm not at all capable...", she said
"You will be... soon you will be, I trust you...", he said cupping her face and lightly kissing her forehead...
"But I don't want them Rana sa, I dislike the fact that our family members had to take your permission to even go out, then how do you think I would like them to ask me or come to me for every little thing... all this is so much of a mess, why can't you completely abolish all these instead ??", Isha said, serving breakfast in a plate...
"Isha... there are certain things that happened in the past, that made me tighten the security around the family, and also the restrictions are for the same purpose", he said sighing deeply, he didn't want to reveal the past to her, but looks like there is no option left, if he couldn't let her know about her father's deeds, he could at least tell her about other things right ?? Maybe that could satisfy her to some extent, he knew more than half of her complaints from him were due to the past that he hid from her.
"Hm... first, eat, we can talk later", she said forwarding his plate.
"I don't want to eat the food at the cafeteria", he said without even looking at the plate making her sigh at his tantrums, whatever the situation, his tantrums for food never stopped...
"I made it Abhyansh... in the kitchen here... now please have it without throwing any more tantrums...", she said irritated...
"You made it here ??", he gave her a surprised smile before started eating... she would normally prepare at least 3-4 varieties for breakfast but seeing only one, he frowned but didn't voice it out noticing her irritation... he is fussy about food and she handles him with patience but there are times she loses it like this time.
"Yeah... I made it here, I know you wouldn't have breakfast after 10, I could only cook this in the time frame", she said, answering his unasked question and he nodded.
"Have it, you too...", he said forwarding a spoon which she had reluctantly...
They completed the breakfast. Isha got up to keep the soiled dishes away, and then came back and settled on her husband's lap instead of sitting beside him. She nuzzled her face into his neck wounding her arms around him tightly.
"I missed you so much...", she said, he pulled her into him kissing her hair...
"I know...", he said, but she smiled at his hidden 'I missed you more' in his 'I know'.
"Why didn't you come to the chamber to change or to collect your handbag ??", he asked after some time of peacefully sitting in each other's embrace.
"I know I hurt you a lot, but at that time, I was hurt too, I didn't want to hurt you more with my pain, I had to deal with myself first, so left to office with bhai", she said
"You could come to me anytime Rani sa... your presence is enough to calm me down...", he said
"But not when my presence is the one that caused you distress Rana sa", Isha said guiltily...
"No, it didn't, not your presence, the thought of you in pain caused me distress...", he said adjusting her in such a way that he was facing her... he pecked her lips... "I want you to do something for me...", he asked and she looked at him expectantly... "first promise me, I will tell you", he asked and she did it without thinking anything, she trusted him...
"I promise... what is it ?? You know I could do anything for you", she said
"Then become a brave and bold queen for me, not just the strong and kind queen you are now", he asked surprising her... he wouldn't have asked her this ever, he wanted to be her shield and protect her from everything throughout her life. He wanted to shoulder all the responsibilities, burdens, and worries while she gets to enjoy a blissful married life with him without worrying about anything, but when she fought with him for their family's rights and their freedom, he had no choice but to give her the responsibilities, even now, he will be taking the burdens and worries that comes with it but responsibilities she had to shoulder, and that will not be easy. She needs to change her personality a lot.
"What ??", she stuttered... she knew what he was asking for but she didn't think she could ever change her personality.
"I asked Rajmata to teach you everything, train you to be the best version of yourself", he said remembering the morning conversation he had with his grandmother, after he stormed to his study, he summoned his grandmother there.