14. Soren
SOREN
After a week of living with Jude, it was official.
I sucked hard.
He was patient and caring, but apparently household chores weren’t as easy as they seemed when you’d never had to do them a day in your life.
I’d broken so many plates that Jude decided we would only use paper ones on the days he was too busy in the workshop to take care of the dishes.
He worked long hours, and I really wanted to help lessen the burden around the house, but white towels came out of the washing machine pink, his jeans came out of the dryer shrunken, and I somehow managed to turn a saucepan black while trying to heat soup for lunch.
Every task began with confidence but ended with Jude quietly repairing whatever I had damaged. And the worst part was that he never became angry.
He would sigh, kiss my forehead, and show me how to do it properly.
Again. Sometimes for the third time. His patience should have made me feel better, but instead it made the failure settle more heavily inside me.
I had spent most of my life being told I was unprepared for anything outside royal duty—and not many had been confident that I could even do that with aplomb.
Every ruined shirt or shattered plate seemed determined to prove everyone right.
By the end of the week, I had started dreading the sound of Jude coming in from the workshop. Not because I feared him, but because I hated seeing his eyes travel with expectancy to find whatever new disaster I had created.
So when Dean stopped by Thursday morning for a visit, I dropped to my knees and begged him to help me make Jude lunch so he didn’t have to do it himself.
Dean groaned and complained that if he’d known I would only be working him, he wouldn’t have come by, but I wore him down.
“You really have no idea how to make a grilled cheese?” he asked, staring in horror at the mess I’d made of the skillet. Almost half the loaf of bread Jude had picked up at the supermarket just yesterday was blackened, and I threw it in the garbage to hide my shame.
“It always comes out black or the cheese doesn’t melt,” I said.
“That’s because you need to reduce the fire under the skillet.”
“I tried that, but the lowest setting was still too high.”
“Because you need to turn the dial in the opposite direction, almost as if you’re turning off the stove.”
“Oh.”
He looked at me in disbelief as if I’d grown horns, and I cringed. “Well, if you’re going to make me feel bad about it, then you don’t need to help.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how you aren’t aware of how to turn down a stove. What, were you born into royalty or something?”
I fell silent, not knowing how to answer. If I told him the truth, he wouldn’t believe me, but at the same time, I hated feeling like such a failure all the time. If only one person could know the truth, then maybe they’d be more willing to help me instead of thinking that I was incompetent.
“Would you believe me if I told you I was?” I asked.
He snorted. “And I’m Princess Di reincarnated.”
“Can you keep a secret?” I said, reaching for my phone on the counter.
“Yes, my lips are like a bank vault unless there’s a cock involved somewhere.”
I made a face at him as I opened the browser on my phone.
“Like you haven’t sucked a cock in your life,” he said. “It might have been a while, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”
“It’s not been a while. I sucked Daddy’s this morning.”
Dean scoffed. “I’d sooner believe you’re the king of Cuckoo Land.” He gave me a mock bow. “Your Royal Highness?”
“It would be Your Majesty.” I thrust my phone into his hands. “There.”
He scanned the page in front of him and frowned. “What bogus page is this?”
“It’s not. It’s the most reputable newspaper from Belvaria, my home country.”
The article I’d shared with him was about the crown prince of Belvaria’s deposition. Splashed across the headline was a photograph from my investiture ceremony, showing me in full court dress with the royal sash across my chest and the Order of the Silver Crown pinned over my heart.
Without a word, Dean handed me back the phone and took out his. His fingers flew across the screen several times, then he would pause, scroll, then repeat the action. When he finally looked up at me, his eyes were wide and his Adam’s apple trembled in his throat.
“You’re a crown prince?”
“Not anymore,” I said quickly. “I was deposed because I fell in love with the wrong man and he used me.”
“What. The. Actual. Fuck?” Dean shook himself. “Dude, you let yourself get kicked out as crown prince for some dick? What were you thinking?”
My face burned hotly. “I thought I loved him, okay? And I never expected him to do that to me. He told me he wanted to marry me.”
“So why are you here? Are you no longer a prince then?”
“In name only,” I said, unhappy to recall the deposition ruling. “The court allowed me to keep my title, but it’s useless now. The crown will go to my younger brother when he comes of age.”
“This is wild.” Dean clutched the back of a chair, pulled it out, and sat down hard. “I’m going to need a minute to digest this.”
“Dean, you can’t tell anyone,” I said. “Not even Jorge. Promise me.”
“Of course I won’t tell, but why won’t you? People would treat you so much better.”
“Really? Because your reaction just now says otherwise. One person thinking me dumb for losing the crown for some dick is enough.”
His face turned crimson. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that when I didn’t know what happened. Honestly, you’re taking it better than I would have. You lost everything.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I looked away from him. I’d already grieved over that loss before, and now I needed to move on.
“Will you help me make lunch?” I asked again. “Daddy’s done so much for me, and I just want to do something right for a change.”
“Were you serious about you and Daddy Jude having sex?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He shook his head slowly. “I can’t tell if you’re lucky or unlucky. Come on. I’ll show you what to do.”
An hour later, I hugged Dean and reminded him again that he couldn’t say a word about my family to anyone. I watched him get into a cab to return to Halo House, then hurried back inside before the grilled cheese sandwiches had time to cool.
For once, nothing was burned.
The bread was golden on both sides, the cheese had melted properly, and strips of bacon peeked from the edges.
I arranged the sandwiches on one of the paper plates Jude had bought after my unfortunate history with ceramic ones, added a handful of the brand of barbecue chips he loved, and poured lemonade into a tall glass.
Then I stood back and admired my work.
It looked like an actual edible lunch, and Jude would be none the wiser that I hadn’t put everything together by myself.
I balanced everything on a wooden tray and headed for the back door, already imagining Jude’s reaction. He would take one bite, look at me with surprise, and tell me how proud he was. For once, he wouldn’t be disappointed, and he wouldn’t want to send me back to Halo House.
For once, I was offering him more than sex.
The workshop stood behind the house, the short path between them taking less than a minute. I had seen it from the outside plenty of times but had never gone inside. Jude had always joked that until I minimized the number of disasters in the house, I shouldn’t enter the workshop due to the hazard.
The wide double doors stood open to let in the sea breeze, and the steady hum of machinery drifted into the yard.
“Daddy?” I called as I approached.
When I didn’t receive an answer, I stepped inside and looked around.
The workshop was larger than I’d expected and smelled strongly of fresh-cut wood, oil, and something sharp I couldn’t name.
Long shelves covered one wall, packed with labeled containers, tins, clamps, and hand tools arranged so neatly that even I could tell everything had its proper place.
Pieces of lumber rested on racks near the ceiling, while half-finished furniture occupied different corners of the room.
Jude stood near the center of the workshop with protective glasses over his eyes and large earmuffs over his ears. His back was to me as he worked at a heavy wooden bench. A long section of carved walnut was secured in front of him, and whatever tool he held gave off a low mechanical whine.
So that’s why he didn’t hear me.
That made the surprise even better. Grinning, I carried the tray farther inside.
“Daddy, look what I—”
My shoe caught the edge of something on the floor, and the tray tilted.
I managed to steady the lemonade, but my elbow bumped a narrow stack of wooden boards leaning beside one of the workbenches.
They shifted, and I held my breath, hoping for the best, but I’d long since concluded that the universe hated me, so I stared in horror at the whole stack slowly falling toward me.
Jude turned, his eyes going wide.
“Soren, move!”
I froze, staring death in the face, and was actually impressed at how easily I accepted my fate.
Jude crossed the space between us in what felt like a single step. He caught me around the waist and dragged me hard against his chest just as the boards crashed across the floor where I had been standing.
“No!” I cried as the tray flew from my hands.
My beautiful grilled cheese sandwiches sailed through the air and landed face down in a pile of sawdust.
For several seconds, neither of us moved. His arms remained locked around me while my heart hammered painfully against my ribs.
“What were you thinking?” he demanded.
I blinked up at him, surprised at the sharpness in his voice. He’d never shouted at me before—not when I turned his white towels pink and not when I tore the bed sheets while putting them on the wrong way.
“I—I brought you lunch.”
“I told you never to enter the workshop,” he snapped. “Do you know the damage you could have caused?”
I stared at the scattered wood and hung my head.
“I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.” Then I embarrassed myself further by bursting into tears.
“I know I haven’t been much help and I’m a burden to you, but please don’t send me back to Halo House.
I don’t want to leave you. I like it here, and I promise I’ll work harder. ”
“Little prince, what are you mumbling about?” Jude pressed me tighter against his body.
He smelled of sawdust and sweat. In other words, fuckable, and I shouldn’t be thinking about sex when one of us had almost been an inspiration for A Million Ways to Die in the West Part Two, but I couldn’t help it.
“Why would I send you back to Halo House?” Jude said. “We have a contract and everything.”
“Because you didn’t know how terrible I was when you decided to accept me.” I sniffled, trying to wipe my face on his shirt, but he tugged my head back.
“Don’t, unless you want sawdust in your eyes.”
He still cared about me? I inhaled deeply and took a step back. “I really am trying.”
“I know you are.”
I wrung my hands. “But you shouted at me. You’ve never done that before. I can tell you’re getting frustrated by how often I mess up. If I break another plate, we’ll have to start eating off the floor.”
Jude chuckled. “Sweetheart, don’t you think you’re being a wee bit ridiculous? Why would we eat off the floor when we can eat off the counters?”
Despite my upset, a giggle escaped me. “You’re not mad at me anymore, then?”
“I was never mad at you, Soren. Someday I might be, but not right now. I’m sorry I raised my voice at you, but it was more out of fear that you’d hurt yourself than anger.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Many things can be fixed, Soren. My priority is your safety.”
I glanced around at the disaster I’d caused, my eyes locking onto a broken piece on the floor. It was a carved wooden panel, dark and polished, with a jagged split running through one corner.
My stomach dropped. “What is that?”
Jude glanced back, and his mouth tightened. “It’s part of a restoration I was working on.”
“And you dropped it to rescue me.”
“Soren—”
My gaze fell to the sandwiches lying in the sawdust. The pride I had carried from the kitchen disappeared so completely that it hurt.
“I only wanted to surprise you with lunch,” I whispered.
Jude’s expression softened immediately. “Oh, little prince. That was very thoughtful of you.”
“But it wasn’t.” My throat tightened, and I blinked against the tears. “The truth is that I couldn’t even do it without Dean.”
“So you got help. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m proud of you for wanting to take care of me. The thought counts.”
“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”
“Soren, are you questioning your Daddy?”
I started to shake my head, but then I changed my mind and nodded. “I don’t know if you’re being truthful with me or trying to spare my feelings.”
“You’re going to make me punish you, aren’t you?” Jude asked.
I hung my head. “I deserve it. I ruined your workshop.”
“Not for that, little prince. For not trusting me. I’ll decide on your punishment later. Why don’t you go back inside while I fix things up?”
“You sure you don’t want me to help?” As soon as I asked the question, I cringed. “You’re right. I should go before they decide there’s something more devastating than an earthquake and its name should be called Soren.”
Jude chortled, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. “You’re exaggerating, baby, but yes, I think you should return inside. I can’t have anything happening to my little prince’s beautiful face.”
“Alright.” I bent to pick up the sandwiches and the pieces of broken glass. I wondered at this rate how long it would be before we ran out.