The Rugelach Road Trip (Matzo Ballers Hanukkah #4)

Prologue

A sk any musician and they will share, in no uncertain terms, the number one rule to follow on a tour bus. Even the greenest rookie will tell you:

The #1 rule is no #2 in the tour bus bathroom. Ever.

No exceptions.

Avi Wolfson and the rest of Painted Doors — band and crew — heeded this touring commandment as if it had been handed down by Moses himself, ever since the band formed six years ago. Even after the Great Backstage BBQ Catering Incident of 2019. The rest of the guys swore to start keeping kosher like their lead singer after everyone except Avi had had to “hot bag” it (don’t ask) from Memphis to Nashville.

In no particular order, other rules were designed for your safety ( always sleep with your feet facing the front of the bunk ) and your own good ( never pass out in the front lounge ) and came as second nature for a guy like Avi.

Until one cold-as-balls day in Middleofthefuck Ohio at 4:45 a.m., as Avi watched the tour bus’s taillights recede in the distance, he realized he had broken a big one.

Don’t get left behind.