Chapter 21
ur trek back to the entrance is thick with tense silence.
Cygnus offers no apologies, and I quickly give up hoping for them.
I’m expecting darkness when we emerge from the Everwillow.
But when Cygnus and I finally get ourselves over the last ridge and step through the murky blue-green portal, we are momentarily blinded.
I curse, blinking to adjust to the sun. “What time is it?”
“I don’t know.” Cygnus shrugs, shading his eyes.
There’s something different about the atmosphere. I smell spices and roasting meat. The swan garden is as secluded as usual, but there’s noise carrying from closer to the castle, the rumbling, pleasant cacophony of many voices, layered with music and laughter.
Cygnus reaches the same conclusion I do. “We’ve been gone more than a whole day.”
It’s midsummer.
I cover my face with my hands, cursing. How could we have so completely lost track of time?
Then I remember: Dante. He’s been alone since we departed.
I left him some extra food, but not enough for more than a day of my absence.
Remorse plunges through me as I picture the fox captive in my room, probably hungry and terrified. What’s become of him?
We hurry back through a side entrance of the castle. Cygnus splits toward his tower without so much as a goodbye. I jet toward mine, trailing muddy water across the painted floors and fancy carpets. I am far past caring.
When I climb the steps to the East Wing and turn onto my landing, I’m surprised to find my door ajar. Remembering the last time my room was ransacked, I jolt. “Dante?”
When I barrel through the door, it’s not just Dante I find. It’s a whole group of people.
My eye sweeps the room, absorbing the faces assembled: Damien, Roburn, Anna, Daisy, and several guards I don’t recognize.
Finally, my gaze snags at the window, and the prince sitting by it who looks more exhausted than all the rest combined.
Borderline haggard. Dante sits in his lap, perking at the sight of me.
“God Almighty.” Daisy surges forward, nearly collapsing as she hugs me. “We were so worried about you!”
“What? I’m—I’m fine….” I try to wriggle out of her embrace and realize with some embarrassment that she’s weeping.
I can’t tear my eyes away from Finn.
“Where were you?!” Daisy demands.
Oh, you know, just exploring the ancient magical cavern underneath the castle.
“With…Cygnus,” I say weakly. Panic courses through me as the room stares back at me, awaiting an explanation.
There’s a beat where Dante leaps off Finn’s lap and scrambles up my skirts and into my arms, and I use it to construct a passable lie.
“I needed help collecting an ingredient for the storehouse. I asked him to come with me.”
“For two days?” Damien cuts in. He meets my gaze, smirking.
“We were looking for a certain kind of…moonlily,” I continue, beginning to sweat under the scrutiny of so many eyes. “We had to go farther than I expected. A lot farther.”
Roburn’s expression is concerned. The other soldiers look like they don’t particularly care—Anna just looks annoyed that she’s been drawn away from her duties.
I can feel Finn’s stare on me like a blade against skin. When he finally speaks, it’s almost a whisper. “You were with Cygnus?”
“Yes.” Heat prickles up my neck as he frowns and looks away.
Is he jealous?
“Next time you go traipsing off for moonlilies, would it kill you to leave a note?” says Daisy, cutting over the moment. “We’ve been looking for you since last night!”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea anyone would notice I was gone.” I wearily appreciate her concern. Though it strikes me as odd that this many people would be looking for me—two princes, the captain of the guard, the hospital’s head of staff….
“Well, Miss Lyria, we will leave you to get cleaned up so you can go enjoy the festivities,” says Roburn, tipping his hat. “I’m very glad to know that you’re safe.”
The rest of the guards and Anna follow him out without giving me so much as another glance.
Damien continues that catlike smirk as he exits, looking like he caught a rat in his claws. “Yeah, we’re all thrilled you got your moonlilies safely.”
Daisy grows cheerful as the room clears. “The good news is, you’ve still got plenty of time to get ready for the festival!”
I can’t tear my eyes away from Finn. He is still frowning, and he looks like he’s not sure what to do with his hands. Finally, he executes a curt little bow I’ve never seen before, not meeting my eyes.
“I’ll let you take it from here,” he says to Daisy. To me, he adds, “Glad you’re back.” Then he sweeps away before I have the chance to reply.
I’m left staring at the threshold.
“We’ve got to get you out of these clothes,” says Daisy. “Did you fall into a giant heap of dung somewhere?”
“Something like that.” I feel numb. Daisy catches me staring at the door.
“He’s been distraught. Just so you know,” she says smugly.
“What?” I ask.
“Ohhhh, yeah.” Daisy grins. “Wish you could have seen him last night. You could hear him screaming at the queen from halfway across the castle.”
“Finn was…screaming?” My hazy mind struggles to imagine this. The only time I’ve seen him lose his temper is the incident with Cygnus, and that was like lightning—white-hot rage, there one second and gone the next.
Daisy rolls her eyes. “Come on, Lyria, you’re not that dense. He’s obsessed with you!”
I protest, “He’s—”
“Save it,” Daisy interrupts. “You’re driving me crazy. Pull your head out of the sand!”
“I can’t. It’s…” My hands are shaking as I unlace my boots. Gods, even if I could tell her everything, I wouldn’t know where to start. “It’s complicated.”
“Wait.” Daisy’s eyes widen. “It’s Cygnus, isn’t it? You were with Cygnus!”
“No!” I yelp, horrified.
“That’s exactly what’s happening!”
“No, it’s not! Definitely not!”
“Don’t be embarrassed!” Daisy nudges me with her elbow. “It’s perfectly understandable. He’s got that whole tortured-soul thing going on. Half the East Wing has a crush on him.”
“I don’t have a crush on Cygnus!” I splutter. I don’t know why my face feels so hot. “I don’t even like him! Like as a person, in general!”
Truthfully, I don’t know what I feel. Everything has gotten so jumbled. I find Cygnus an exhausting and arrogant prick, but for some reason, I still want his approval. I hate his personality, but I can’t say I hate him. Where does that put us? Friends? Allies? Just coconspirators and colleagues?
“Suuuuure,” Daisy drawls. “You two were just out picking moonlilies. We all know what that means.” She scoops up my dirty boots and deposits them in a muddy pile. “I was actually really hoping to pick some moonlilies tonight at the festival….” She giggles as I peel off my socks, my face burning.
Daisy holds out a hand. “Now, give me that kerchief so I can do your hair.”
My fingers fly protectively to my temples. Damn it. The concealment charm is long gone.
“That’s all right! I need a bath first. Why don’t I meet you down at the party?”
“Are you certain?” she asks. “Do you know what you’re wearing?”
“I’m sure I’ll find something.”
Daisy looks a little miffed. “Suit yourself. But no work dresses, all right? Wear something fun! Like the pink shoes with the flowers!”
“I won’t be boring,” I promise, snapping the door shut behind her. As soon as the latch clicks, I spin around and slide to the floor, my skirts pooling around me. Dante bounds across the room, sniffing my ankles before darting away and curling up on my chaise.
I thump my head back against the wooden door, lamenting my slew of bad decisions. The unbearable weight of reality sinks in, and it’s suddenly difficult to breathe.
I’m haunted by the look in Finn’s eyes—all the hurt and confusion I saw dancing there.
And the thought of so many people combing through my private space makes me feel wholly exposed, like a raw nerve.
I’m working on borrowed time. How long can I keep this act up?
How long until Finn discovers I’m lying to him?
That I’m keeping secrets? I recall the warning Cygnus issued on my first day in the castle.
Warming Finn’s bed won’t protect you forever. I feel in way over my head.
Closing my eyes conjures an image of home in the forest, and longing pierces my chest so violently I feel sick.
I wish Mother were here. Life was lonely at the cottage, but it was safe.
Straightforward. I never appreciated simplicity until now.
I left home to prove I could manage on my own, but the longer I stay in Crown City, the more I worry Mother was right all along.
Agreeing to come here was a huge mistake. I need to course correct as soon as possible. I’ll finish the omnidraught, and I’ll keep my promise to Cygnus and help him unlock the gates.
Then I will go back to my cage.
Where I belong.