37. Mihir
MIHIR
A cheeky text from Sona was a delightful way to wake up.
Lying in bed with every part of my body yearning for her touch, I typed out my response: What were you doing at 3:54 a.m.? Did you wake up to a dream about me? A naked one?
That was around 7 a.m. She hadn’t replied, and it was almost ten. I called her mother to see if I could work from their home again. She welcomed me, quickly adding that Sona wasn’t home. My hotel room was comfortable, but I needed an internet connection I could trust. Her father’s study was adequately quiet and peaceful, and there was the added benefit of getting under Sona’s skin. It was a win-win all around. I had betrayed her trust, but I was determined to earn it back. Gaining her parents’ confidence and love, despite her annoyance, seemed like a very good place to start.
“The study is all set up for you,” Mrs. Thomas said when I arrived. The previous day, she’d accompanied me to the study and made sure I was comfortable. Today, she expected me to feel at home. “Thomas will be here for lunch,” she said as she brought me a tray with a bottle of water and a glass. “And you will have lunch and dinner with us.”
She rushed off to answer her phone before I could respond. I was part of the family now. I smiled as I opened my laptop.
By now, two things had become clear to me. One, if we were still together, it would’ve been a piece of cake to charm Sona’s parents because they were good people. And two, Sona still cared for me deeply.
Her bluntness was heartfelt and honest. She didn’t try to hide her pain. Instead, she had called me out on it. But there were no tears of self-pity, no false bravado either. She was who she’d always been—strong and proud. My cruelty was not repaid in bitterness but with grace and kindness.
Perhaps, in my heart, I knew it. That’s why I hadn’t thought twice before showing up at her door unannounced. I trusted her completely. I trusted her to be kind and wise, to be gracious despite the pain I had put her through.
An hour later when I switched off the computer, I heard Sona’s father outside.
“Ah, Mihir,” he said when I walked into the living room where the couple sat chatting. “I hope the network didn’t give you much trouble today.”
“No, everything went smoothly.”
Mrs. Thomas smiled at me. “Come sit with us. Let’s talk about you.”
Maybe it was a bad decision to exit the study. I sat. Reluctantly. Sona’s parents sat across from me.
“I spoke to Rajvi’s mother this morning,” her mother began. “And they are very excited. They want to see a picture. Do you have anything you use for matrimonial purposes?”
Matrimonial purposes? “No, Mrs. Thomas, I don’t have a picture, and?—”
“That’s alright. We can ask Sona to take one when she’s back. She knows all kinds of ways to take good pictures. She’s all over that Insta-something-or-other.”
“Uh, actually, I’m not looking, Mrs. Thomas.” I had no idea how to get myself out of this particular quagmire. I wished Sona would get back soon.
“Don’t be nervous, my dear. This isn’t a forced marriage. It’s matchmaking like all those websites you youngsters use these days. You both meet and see if you like each other.”
It was time to confess the truth. Well, the partial truth at least. “Mrs. Thomas, I just got out of a relationship, and I still have feelings for her.”
She frowned. “But the relationship is over, isn’t it? She’s out of your life. Do you think she has feelings for you?”
I slumped. This was getting more difficult by the minute. “I think she does, but it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m in love with her, I can’t marry someone else.”
“Then why don’t you tell her how you feel?”
I looked at her and softly confessed, “I did.”
“And she rejected you?” Her concern was now inching toward nosy.
I cleared my throat. “It’s complicated.”
“I don’t understand you young people.” She shook her head. “I’ll ask Sona to talk sense into you.”
“No, please don’t involve her,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
“Why?”
“Because…” My voice faded since I had no good answer.
“Because Sona is the woman you love?” she said, and my head snapped up.
Sona’s father pulled one leg over the other and chuckled like my dad did when he was thoroughly pleased. “She’s got her finger on your pulse, son.”
Arms crossed across her chest, Mrs. Thomas flashed a conceited smile. “What, you think our generation has never been in love?” She tutted.
My body language changed. I could physically feel it. Suddenly, I was an intruder, an imposter, an outsider in the home. “No, it’s not that…”
“Save it, child,” she said. “I knew at first glance. You might be a good poker player, but you’re terrible at hiding your affection for our daughter.”
Oh!
“I’m sorry,” I said and stood. “I think it’s best if I left.”
“Not so fast, beta.” She pulled out her smug smile again. “Tell us about your plans.”
Very slowly, I lowered myself back into my seat. “Plans?”
“Yes. How do you intend to get her back?”
“I’m not…” I looked between the two of them wearing confused looks on their faces.
“I thought you wanted to reconcile with her. Don’t you?” her father asked.
“I do, but she doesn’t.”
“So, how do you plan to persuade her?”
“I don’t think there’s much I can do,” I confessed, trying to make sense of what was happening. Maybe Sona was onto something with that alternate universe theory. Maybe I had somehow stepped inside one.
Mrs. Thomas glanced at her husband and gave me a warm smile. “Then we have a proposal. Let’s talk about a match for you.”
I heard them out patiently as they led with an argument I couldn’t contest. I had no choice but to acquiesce, and I did it with a grand smile on my face.
Mrs. Thomas beamed at my enthusiasm. “Good. Now come, lunch is ready,” she said, terribly pleased with my decision.
“Is Sona coming soon? I can wait.”
She waved her hand. “We never know when she’ll be back. She’ll call. Come, you must be hungry.”
“I’ll text her,” I said. She nodded and left with her husband in tow.
Are you coming home for lunch? I texted Sona.
Is this my mom? she teased.
It’s your mom’s new matchmaking project .
Not funny. I’ll be there in 5.
When she returned, her behavior was different, pensive. Instead of getting on my case for crashing at her home again, she graced me with a smile, like she was glad to see me.
“He waited for you,” Mrs. Thomas informed her when we sat down to lunch.
I expected her to send a smart quip my way, but she only nodded.
When we finished lunch, her mom said, “We have a party to go to this evening. I have asked Lata to cook for you. She will leave after she’s done. You both can manage, right? Mihir, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” I said.
“Yes, we’ll manage, Aai.”
When her mother retreated to her room and her father to his study, Sona escorted me to the expansive covered balcony of the family room. With comfortable seating arrangement and a unique décor, the balcony had a personality of its own in this home. A sweet, cozy one.
“It is peaceful here,” I said, gazing out at the sea.
“This is my favorite spot in the house. I am a Cancerian. I love the water. Sans alligators,” she teased.
I laughed. “Yes, I remember. Your birthday is just around the corner, isn’t it? I hope you aren’t expecting a gift,” I baited her.
Instead of getting annoyed, she responded in a whisper. “Mihir, I need to tell you something. I met your mother today.”
I frowned in confusion.
“Your birth mother.”
I leaped out of my cushioned seat. “You found her? When? How?” After she told me, I fumed. “Why did you keep this from me? You had no right to go meet her alone.”
“I didn’t want to quash your hopes and your heart again if the information didn’t pan out, or if she decides she doesn’t want to meet you.”
“She doesn’t want to meet me?” Like my voice, my body slumped to the sofa.
“She’s not sure. We just sprang this on her. She had her reasons to give you up. She might not want to rekindle something that could cause her distress. It’s been a long time. She might be worried she can’t offer what you seek. There could be any number of reasons for her apprehension.”
“So if she refuses to meet me, will that mean she doesn’t love me?” I pushed my hand through my hair to stop myself from wringing them in despair.
Sona slipped from her chair and knelt before me. “I know this hurts. But it could mean she’s afraid. She doesn’t know how you feel about her giving you up.”
Despite my angsty state, I couldn’t help but marvel at the kindness and wisdom of the woman before me, the maturity with which she had approached the situation. I had been such a fool to break her heart and ruin her trust.
Sona scooted back to her seat. “Your feelings are valid. You’re hurt, and you have a right to be hurt. But finding out your parents adopted you doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t change your heart. We all straddle different worlds, Mihir, and no one knows this better than people who’ve migrated. It doesn’t fracture our identities, it strengthens them. My career and future is in the U.S., but I leave behind my most cherished connections here. You feel cheated at having lost your connection with your birth mother, but you’re dwelling on only one part of your identity. Your adoptive parents love you. You run a successful business. You’re a loyal friend, a fantastic lover. You’re all those things despite the circumstances of your birth. Or perhaps because of it…”
Sona was right. If my birth mother hadn’t given me up, I wouldn’t be who I was.
“It’s going to take time for you to heal. It might take time for you to rebuild the trust you had in your parents. But with time and love, anything is possible. Look at us. You dumped me ungracefully?—”
“How long are we going to keep talking about that?”
“…and yet here I am, right beside you, standing by you. It means you did something right.”
“Or it means you’re a better person than I am.”
She gave a wry smile.
I leaned forward and clasped my hands around hers. “I did do something right when I chose you, Sona. Then I made a foolish blunder and pushed you away.”
“Yet here I am,” she repeated. “Focus on the positive.”
I squeezed her hand. Three months ago, my world had shattered, but this felt worse. Claustrophobic, like I was being buried alive. Sona’s love would help me heal, yet that’s the one thing I couldn’t reclaim yet. I couldn’t change what I had done, and I couldn’t change how I had felt at the time. Lost. Terrified. Alone. But I’d done the unforgivable. I’d done the one thing she’d asked me not to—I’d left her. I’d broken my promise, and I had to pay the price. She had pulled her guard back up, and I knew I couldn’t hurt her any more than I already had. My only hope was the plan her parents had laid out.
“Are you alright?” she asked at my silence.
I pulled myself up. “I will be,” I replied. “Thank you for everything, Sona. And I’m grateful to your parents for showing me love. But I can’t force myself into the life of someone who no longer wants me.” Like my birth mother.
She sat upright. “I’m sorry, Mihir.”
“I broke up with you because I felt insecure, inadequate. I was an abandoned child. How could I think of starting a family with you when I didn’t know where I came from? It filled me with cynicism and distrust.” I had used these words many times over, but I had never spelled it out to her before this.
She looked up at me with a gasp just as there was a gentle knock on the glass door. It opened, and the scent of an elegant perfume drifted to us. Mrs. Thomas walked on to the balcony with her husband. He was dressed in a smart suit that complemented his wife’s lustrous, rich saree.
“We are off now,” she said as Sona and I rose from our seats and walked toward the door.
“Hope you both have fun,” Sona said.
Her mother smiled and touched Sona’s cheek gently. “Lata’s gone. Have your dinner on time. Order some dessert if you want.”
“You look glamorous, Mrs. Thomas,” I said as I stood at the door beside Sona.
“Thank you, Mihir. You both enjoy your evening,” she said, and we all walked indoors.
“What should we do?” she asked when we locked the door behind them. “Watch a movie?”
“Sure, anything you want.”
“What I want is to learn the tricks of poker. You seem awfully good at it, and I might not get another chance.”
I remained unfazed at her proclamation as we walked to the dining table. “Alright, get the cards,” I said. I still had one powerful move left to try and win her back.
“This is difficult,” she huffed half an hour later. “Maybe I should stick to something simple, like Go Fish! ”
“Don’t lose patience. Stay with me, we’ll get there,” I said, sans a grin but she got my meaning.
While she was busy burning a hole in my face with her glare, her cell buzzed on the table. She took a quick glance at the number then jumped off the chair to answer it.
Speaking in Marathi, she managed a restrained timbre, but her body bubbled with excitement. Her eyes were wide, her smile so lovely, it made my balls twitch. She hung up the call and then faced me with a theatrical pose.
“Mihir, guess who that was?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “No clue.”
“It was your mother.”
“Mom?”
Holding my arms, she pulled me up. “No. Your mother, Sharda.”
I stood before her speechless. My heart raced. “She’s agreed to meet?” I asked, looking at her jubilant face.
“Yes.” She returned an exaggerated nod.
“Oh!” I hugged her tight. I might have cursed, I’m not certain. When my heart rate came back to normal, we settled in the living room, and I held her hand. “Shit, I can’t believe it! You are something, Sona! Do you realize, I would’ve never gotten past the first day if it wasn’t for you? I would’ve gone in search of Kamte, never found him, and returned home desolate.”
She gave me her shy smile. “I’m glad I could help, Mihir. I really am.”
“When are we meeting her?”
“Tomorrow, at a café. Is that alright? It’s a public space, but maybe we can find a nice corner.”
“Can you accompany me?”
“Yes, she wants me there too. I think she’s as anxious as you are.”
“I’m not anxious,” I blurted in a knee-jerk reaction, but when she rolled her eyes, I said, “You’re right, I am. But I’m here with you, in all my vulnerability.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Dramatic, much?”