Chapter 21 #2
As much as it pained me to see this young woman who’d just a day ago been a toddler with a flower crown on her head and a Barbie in her hand agree to be someone’s girlfriend, I put my arm around her and gave her a hug.
“Congratulations, Tink,” I murmured into her hair.
And miracles upon miracles, she hugged me back.
“I have some news I want to share with you,” I said lightly, wanting to punch myself in the face for breaking up this moment with my daughter.
Kinsley pulled back and scanned my face. “What?”
“Ms. Fletcher and I have been seeing each other,” I started.
Kinsley grinned. “I know. You two are so cute together!”
I blinked, unable to follow this part of the conversation. When had she seen us together? We’d been so careful to hide things.
“Um, okay. Let’s table that for later. I, uh, well…”
“Just spit it out, Dad,” Kinsley said with a hint of that teenage attitude she gave out so well.
I sucked in a deep breath and got to the point. “Shae and I are having a baby.”
Kinsley’s face froze. Her mouth opened like she was going to say something but no words ever came out. I nudged her shoulder gently.
“It wasn’t planned, which seems to be a theme in my life, but I plan to be involved. Having you with me this year has shown me how much more I should have been involved in your life, and I want to do better this time around. I’m trying to be a better dad to you and this new baby.”
A tear slid down Kinsley’s cheek and my entire body ached that I’d been the one to put it there. Fuck, I sucked at this.
“But I need to know all the ways I fucked things up with you so that I don’t do it again.”
To my utter surprise, Kinsley threw her arms around my neck and squeezed so hard I thought she might choke me.
I hugged her back of course, willing to hold on to her forever, especially since this was the first hug she’d ever initiated with me.
Damn, a hug and a kiss in one day. Maybe I was getting better at this father thing already.
But then her body began to shake and I realized she was crying.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, Tink. I’m so so sorry.”
My words only made her cry harder, so I shut my mouth and just held her. My own eyes burned, hearing and feeling her sobs. Eventually, she calmed down, her sobs turning to a stray sniffle here and there. She pulled back, swiping furiously at her eyes, mascara making tracks down her cheeks.
“I really am sorry, Kinsley. I should have said that the minute your mom dropped you off. I wasn’t a good father to you. It’ll be my life’s biggest regret.”
She lifted her head, eyes red and glossy. “It’s okay, Dad. I know you did your best. Not your fault your best sucked.”
I took the hit and swallowed down any type of retort to defend myself. There was no defense for my behavior. Only regret and apologies.
“But I’m actually really happy for you and Ms. Fletcher. I love her and I think she’s really good for you. You’ve been different the last few months. Not so angry and distant. You’ve laughed and talked and been goofy more. I think you’ll be a great dad the second time around. I’ll help you.”
I shoved my fist against my mouth and had to blink back the emotions. Kinsley was a good person, through and through. And I had her mother to thank for that, not me.
“I love you, Kinsley. And I’ll gratefully take all the help you’ll give me.”
The next morning, I got up early, even though I could have used a few more hours of sleep to be fully rested.
Kinsley and I stayed up another hour talking about baby stuff and parenting and then Tatum.
I may have thrown up in my mouth a little as she gushed about him, but it was nice to hear her talk so openly with me.
In the end, talking with my family hadn’t been as much help as remembering Dad’s voice when he clapped his big hand on my shoulder. “See a need, step in to help.” That was exactly what I planned to do with Shae.
When I got the notification of impending delivery, I lifted my hand and knocked on Shae’s door.
She answered a minute later in a pair of plaid pajama pants, a shirt with a stain on the front, and a button-down grandma sweater thrown over.
She wrapped the yarn tighter around her and glared at me.
Her hair was swept up on top of her head, but she had yet to put on her glasses.
A pillow crease stretched across her cheek. She was adorable.
“Good morning, lovebug,” I said brightly.
I stepped inside, leaned down to kiss her cheek, and swept past her with my heavy box of goodies. She trailed behind me, sputtering.
“What…hey…wait.”
“You should try finishing one of those sentences,” I teased her, setting the box on her kitchen counter and beginning to unload it.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped.
I grinned at her tone. I’d missed her barbed retorts. I’d been too busy making her moan and scream the last few months when I should have been goading her into more of that attitude. It was such a turn-on. Always had been.
“I’ve got some food for you and the baby. The team nutritionist put a list together for me and I bought it all. Also, there should be a delivery shortly.” I tossed my head back toward the front door.
“A delivery?”
“Yeah. For you. For the baby.”
I shot her a wink and kept unpacking the protein smoothies, green juice, vitamins, and bland crackers the nutritionist told me every pregnant woman needs for a healthy baby.
Shae just gaped at me.